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Anthony Bourdain dead at 61 (1 Viewer)

I'm going to guess for most people this is true. Even if they think it's not.

you are not alone

you are loved

you are not a bother to someone

you are someone’s everything

please call if you need help 1-800-273-8255

 
I would wait for toxicology reports before I form any opinion. Sad either way but in a much different context.

 
Golden Gopher said:
I'll just add.... Who in their right mind would do that to their kids/family?  The answer is NOBODY, because they're not in their right mind, or anywhere close to that.  Pretty hard to call someone selfish, in my opinion, when they're in that frame of mind.  There is literally no thought in the world, in that moment, that could stop them.  They've thought every thought that is out there for them to think, and the final decision is that there is no other option.  To me, that's not selfish.  It's terrifying.  
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You know,  when you have depression, when you have these tendencies, you have to remain undefeated... pitch a perfect game... because if you give the darkness one win, you lose forever.  Anyone can have a bad day, but if you’re depressive you might not get a second chance 

 
On Medium dot com there is a story by Sarah Benincasa that might be the greatest eulogy I have ever read.

The most powerful part for me, was, "If you didn't spend an hour reading his words, watching his show or listening to him on the radio, and didn't want to have a drink with him, or a meal with him, or #### (she uses the F word perfectly) him then we have decidedly different tastes in humans."

I think, barring a spiritual description of me that I am a child of God and so on, I can't think of a cooler way to be remembered. 

 
pollardsvision said:
Bourdain's AMA from 2016

It's a good read. Though this answer is particularly heartbreaking (about accepting booze from fans in bars):

"When I first went on TV and I started going on book tours I was a guy who would literally drink anything. Fans would come up to me and offer me shots of tequila and I would actually drink them. I am still here and alive today because I don't do that anymore. If I took every offer of a shot or other substance that fans offer to me, I wouldn't have made it to 2008, much less to this year. So chances are, to be perfectly honest, you wouldn't see me at a bar. If you were to offer me a shot, I would probably politely decline. I know people offer those things with the best intentions but I'm a dad now. I'm the 60 year old dad of a 9 year old. I have to at least try to stay live long enough to get to the eye rolling stage of my daughter's life."
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Good to see he took on the "Is a hot dog a sandwich" question.  

No. I don't think it's a sandwich. I don't think a hamburger is a sandwich either. The fact that it's in between bread--the bread is a delivery system, a ballistic delivery system. It is not a classic sandwich, in my view.

I mean, if you were to talk into any vendor of fine hot dogs, and ask for a hot dog sandwich, they would probably report you to the FBI. As they should.

 
I had a 2 month span last summer that was very dark. Really high levels of financial and career uncertainty. History of depression/anxiety in my family. I wasn’t sleeping (literally 1-2 hrs per night). Wasn’t eating. Dropped 20 lbs (I only had 10 to lose). 

Some of the sleepless nights were maddening. I knew I was ‘losing it.’  Was watching myself drop deeper and deeper into despair. 

But - my mom has a history with this. So I called her. Several times a day. Every morning I called her and told her I was still around. Every night I would cry and pray with my wife (don’t want to get too religious that’s just something that’s important to us). Talked with my brother too (also knows what this is like from personal experience). 

No matter what - DO NOT STRUGGLE ALONE. 

 
Still a bit bothered by this and I think I know why

He was one of the few people in the entertainment world that I would tune into because of who he was. I watch actors to see them act, I watch musicians to see and hear them play their instruments, I watch athletes to see them compete.

I watched Bourdain to see him be himself.

The man opened windows to parts of the world that I know I’ll never see in person. In doing so he seemed infinitely curious, passionate and caring about every person and every place he visited. Cynical and realistic when he needed to be, yet somehow always hopeful for the best when it came to those people and places he encountered. 

We lose someone in those other areas of entertainment and there’s something to fill the void. There are other actors, musicians, athletes there to compensate for the loss.

There was only one Bourdain. He doesn’t seem replaceable.

 
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He was in tune with the sublime, the absurd and the genuine things. His soul was so acutely curious and intuitive. I think we all appreciated him cause he called beauty beautiful and bull#### for what it was. And he loved people. 

Not suprised he struggled too. Many of the most prescient artists and commentators (think comedians) have a real mental illness. 

 
mr roboto said:
He was in tune with the sublime, the absurd and the genuine things. His soul was so acutely curious and intuitive. I think we all appreciated him cause he called beauty beautiful and bull#### for what it was. And he loved people. 

Not suprised he struggled too. Many of the most prescient artists and commentators (think comedians) have a real mental illness. 
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The world is ill. If someone is acutely aware of it that doesn’t mean they are sick.

 
Watching the "Baja" episode...Upon coming out of a bar in Tijuana and getting picked up in a pink limo:  "It only gets worse when the ####### thing doesn't even start. And you gotta sit there in this thing, passers by hooting at you and taking pictures of the big stupid gringo in the douchenozzle prom mobile that needs a ####### jump start."

:lmao:

 
El Floppo said:
His daughter apparently played her school of Rock show yesterday. Brave girl :(
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JFC.  Horrible and yet, hopeful. 

I know very little about that side of his life.  It's always the most sad part of these already terribly sad stories. 

Maybe that is the difference between depression and suicidal depression - someone noted here, and I hadn't ever understood it, that in the minds of those who have close family, even supportive family, the depressed person has such low esteem and such a distorted world view they see themselves as this huge burden on everyone else. Rather than thinking killing themselves would make everyone else's life so much more hollow and painful, that their suicide would release the world - and those closest - the "burden" of their living.

In my worst times, the one thing that has always gotten in the way of me and any serious consideration of doing something that drastic, has been those around me, and especially those closest to me. I couldn't do it to my parents, most of all.  Sounds silly but my cats too, I literally think that they need their dad too and how could I be so selfish as to take the easy way out.  I know the pain it would bring my friends - and even some foes.  And that makes me refocus and get through the cycle until the next uptick in positive sentiment.

This, in a way, reminds me of the anorexic who looks in the mirror and SEES a 280 pound behemoth, when they are whittling away at 87 lbs.  Sometimes our minds just get flipped. Hard to understand but perhaps this is analogous ofnsomeone that looks in that same mirror, and sees not someone who's death would be s sad burden, but the reflection shows clearly to them quite the opposite.

Thank you all for contributing to this thread. It's helped me better understand my own thoughts and emotional state, but moreso others who, until now, I may have seen as selfish or uncaring. When it's perhaps the opposite, just in a twisted and cruel way.  

 
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Is it possible that the more suicide is talked about in the media, the more it will occur? Almost taking the opposite desired effect?

Think about all the celebrities who did it recently (Spade, Bourdain, Avicii, Cornell, Bennington, August Ames, etc.)

Crazy stuff.

 
eoMMan said:
Is it possible that the more suicide is talked about in the media, the more it will occur? Almost taking the opposite desired effect?

Think about all the celebrities who did it recently (Spade, Bourdain, Avicii, Cornell, Bennington, August Ames, etc.)

Crazy stuff.
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That is possible as well like with school shootings. But the benefit of showing people that it's not just a poorer man's problem is important. Look at the shock with Bourdain who basically said in one episode last night, what a great life he has.

People who are close to snapping will probably do it regardless. They said 1 person commits suicide every 12 minutes. It's in the top 10 causes of death. I'd like to know the suicide stats in Europe and 3rd world countries.

 
There's gossip that Asia Argento was stepping out with another dude.

If so, I feel bad for her. She's about to become incredibly unpopular.  

 
Mr. Ham said:
I hope not.  People break up.  The fact someone committed suicide shouldn’t elevate that to villainy.  
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1000%.

I am not optimistic.  Bourdain was one of those guys that really had no natural enemies.  People being ugly on Twitter seems almost like a foregone conclusion.  

 
eoMMan said:
Is it possible that the more suicide is talked about in the media, the more it will occur? Almost taking the opposite desired effect?

Think about all the celebrities who did it recently (Spade, Bourdain, Avicii, Cornell, Bennington, August Ames, etc.)

Crazy stuff.
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I think there was a rash of teenage suicides in the 70s or 80s that was largly attributed to copycats and media coverage.  

Study on it

https://www.thedailybeast.com/teen-copycat-suicides-are-a-real-phenomenon

 
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Malcom gladwell had a fascinating article on a suicide trend among teens in the Philippines or Indonesia in the 60s I believe... it was in an article on the stickiness and contagious nature of ideas

 
Watched a lot of his shows today.  Man, this guy lived the life and seemed on top of the world no matter where he went. Hard to fathom this one.  

With 5 kids and little disposable income, I probably won't get to travel and see much of the world.  His shows are an escape for me and his captivating styles and mannerisms will be missed. 

 
Epic Problem said:
5 minutes in and I already feel dirty. For lack of a better analogy, I can’t help but think that this is the kind of stuff that would make him spin in his grave. 
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I’m recording this to watch later but feel the same way . He would’ve slammed cnn for really milking it over this weekend

 
Epic Problem said:
5 minutes in and I already feel dirty. For lack of a better analogy, I can’t help but think that this is the kind of stuff that would make him spin in his grave. 
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I guess it's hard to put something tasteful together in two and a half days. Really amounted to a bunch of clips from his shows and thoughts about what CNN anchors thought. Some input was insightful (Anderson Cooper), some was TV plastic (Cuomo). 

The Berlin episode was good. Dark too. Fitting I suppose. They may have been better off just closing with that.

That said, when you're larger than life, I'm not sure you get to write the rules as to how people grieve when you're gone, especially in the way he chose to do it and on the heels of a high-profile suicide just days before. 

 
Sandeman said:
I guess it's hard to put something tasteful together in two and a half days. Really amounted to a bunch of clips from his shows and thoughts about what CNN anchors thought. Some input was insightful (Anderson Cooper), some was TV plastic (Cuomo). 

The Berlin episode was good. Dark too. Fitting I suppose. They may have been better off just closing with that.

That said, when you're larger than life, I'm not sure you get to write the rules as to how people grieve when you're gone, especially in the way he chose to do it and on the heels of a high-profile suicide just days before. 
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I thought Wolf was the worst. Clearly never seen the show before. Not even sure he knew who he was. 

 
I think overall it was well done. He was pronounced dead early Fri am and this tribute first aired Fri pm. It's different than other celebs as literally people knew him worldwide. Huge loss.

I think a weekend of his shows and tribute is a nice gesture for his mom and his daughter to see just how many people he touched. As to what he would think... I think he'd appreciate the outpouring of love. People who kill themselves don't feel loved. He's gone but he lives on through his shows that have enlightened us that at the end of the day, we are all the same.

We all want the same thing, to be happy and understood. He brought it all together and changed perceptions some people have about different cultures. Tragic loss.

 
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Gotta say, seems he aged a lot in the last year. Maybe time caught up with him a bit, bit I recall thinking several times this season that he looks tired, haggard, worn out. 

 
General Malaise said:
Watched a lot of his shows today.  Man, this guy lived the life and seemed on top of the world no matter where he went. Hard to fathom this one.  

With 5 kids and little disposable income, I probably won't get to travel and see much of the world.  His shows are an escape for me and his captivating styles and mannerisms will be missed. 
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I watched a bunch of the shows too...loved the one when he was in croatia, makes me want to go there now. 

The dude was special and will be missed. 

 
Sandeman said:
Gotta say, seems he aged a lot in the last year. Maybe time caught up with him a bit, bit I recall thinking several times this season that he looks tired, haggard, worn out. 
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He was exhausted. Between traveling constantly for work, shuttling back and forth to/from Italy/Europe to be with Argento,  making sure he spent time in NYC to be with his daughter, his jujitsu training, writing more books, writing/editing each episode, running his publishing imprint, promoting his various works, and planning future episodes, I imagine his mind was simply always on. He's stated that he did his best to avoid the version of himself that lies in bed all day, smokes pot, and watched tv, but I'm wondering if he shouldn't have taken one day every month to do exactly that.

 
General Malaise said:
Watched a lot of his shows today.  Man, this guy lived the life and seemed on top of the world no matter where he went. Hard to fathom this one.  

With 5 kids and little disposable income, I probably won't get to travel and see much of the world.  His shows are an escape for me and his captivating styles and mannerisms will be missed. 
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Watching the Buenos Aires episode posthumously really darkens it up. Worth a view if you want to see how open he was about his troubles. 

 
Mr. Ham said:
Happened to walk by Las Halles, his old restaurant a couple times this week.  It closed in 2016.  There’s a shrine there with letter from fans, flowers, booze and trinkets people left. Made me really sad.  Such a paradox with this guy.  Lived at such an electric level, so much to live for, so much living in his perceptions and ability to connect with people.  Something that can’t be answered, but makes me wonder what this guy possibly could have been experiencing when he took that action.   
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You can't always find the one thing. It's more like a combo of things for a long period of time. And if anxiety and depression runs in his family then he was a higher risk to have this condition.

We worry about those we see struggling. This should show us you never know and to be kind to everybody. 

 
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