April Fools Jokes (1 Viewer)

[E-Z Glider]

Need a good zinger to get the kids with. I typically wake them up and tell them they have a snow delay, but they're getting wise to that one, plus the way this winter/spring is going, it could actually happen.

Whatcha got?

 

[Parrothead]

tell them you and mom are getting divorced..

 

[coyote5]

tell them you and mom are getting divorced..

Too late for that one.

Tell him mom and dad are getting back together??

 

[Parrothead]

tell them you and mom are getting divorced..

Too late for that one.

Tell him mom and dad are getting back together??

tell them they are going to have 2 daddys

 

[The Hank]

tell them you and mom are getting divorced..

Too late for that one.

Tell him mom and dad are getting back together??

tell them they are going to have 2 daddys

LOL

 

[eoMMan]

I'm gonna leave a plate of my poop on a plate in the office kitchen. Let's see if someone eats it!

 

[Sarnoff]

"We're going to Disneyland!" "Oh no, Disneyland burned down!"

[/jackhandey]

 

[Jaysus]

My 6 yo daughter had a great one this morning: at about 4am, she busted open our door, turned on the lights and started jumping on our bed while screaming "APRIL FOOLS!". She's a peach.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

My 6 yo daughter had a great one this morning: at about 4am, she busted open our door, turned on the lights and started jumping on our bed while screaming "APRIL FOOLS!". She's a peach.

http://m.adoptpakids.org/

 

[VA703]

Nair in the shampoo bottle

 

[Jaysus]

lol @ Google Auto #Hoffsome celebrity photobombs today

 

[Guest]

My 6 yo daughter had a great one this morning: at about 4am, she busted open our door, turned on the lights and started jumping on our bed while screaming "APRIL FOOLS!". She's a peach.

My daughter didn't grasp the concept at that age either.

APRIL FOOLS!

Oooh, you got me.

 

[boots11234]

Tape your sprayer on your sink down. When they turn the water on they get sprayed

 

[Apes with Guns]

#### this day right in it's stupid ear.

 

[Guest]

April 1st, 1980. Local grocery store has one of those tethered advertising blimps.

Windy day and the cable snapped. I happen to look outside right when the blimp is cruising by our house.

My mom wouldn't believe me.

 

[Ignoramus]

April 1st, 1980. Local grocery store has one of those tethered advertising blimps.

Windy day and the cable snapped. I happen to look outside right when the blimp is cruising by our house.

Riiiiiight. Oh yeah, I'm going to run to the window right now. Good one.

 

[Jaysus]

This looks like it would be fun: http://i.imgur.com/SqtXjSI.jpg

 

[coyote5]

This looks like it would be fun: http://i.imgur.com/SqtXjSI.jpg

Why? Oh I thought I was eating a M&M but it's really a skittle?? Sick burn.

 

[E-Z Glider]

My 6 yo daughter had a great one this morning: at about 4am, she busted open our door, turned on the lights and started jumping on our bed while screaming "APRIL FOOLS!". She's a peach.

Awesome

 

[E-Z Glider]

Nair in the shampoo bottle

I always thought the object was to tell someone something untrue and then yell APRIL FOOLS once they believed it, not pull pranks. Maybe Ive been doing this wrong.

 

[VA703]

Nair in the shampoo bottle

I always thought the object was to tell someone something untrue and then yell APRIL FOOLS once they believed it, not pull pranks. Maybe Ive been doing this wrong.

hmm.. I always thought it was about pranks ?!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

This looks like it would be fun: http://i.imgur.com/SqtXjSI.jpg

Why? Oh I thought I was eating a M&M but it's really a skittle?? Sick burn.

WHO IS THE MOTHERFUNKER THAT REPLACED THIS DELICIOUS CANDY WITH ANOTHER VARIETY OF DELICIOUS CANDY?!?!

 

[Henry Ford]

I'm gonna leave a plate of my poop on a plate in the office kitchen. Let's see if someone eats it!

That seems like too many plates.

 

[Keerock]

I'm gonna leave a plate of my poop on a plate in the office kitchen. Let's see if someone eats it!

That seems like too many plates.

And not enough poop

:GM:

 

[Henry Ford]

Someone in the office next door brought in cream-filled doughnuts. But instead of cream, they were filled with mayonnaise.

 

[-fish-]

Cross-posted from GMTAN--my 9-year old daughter filled all of my dress shoes with yogurt

 

[Parrothead]

fill the ketchup bottle with blood

 

[Henry Ford]

Cross-posted from GMTAN--my 9-year old daughter filled all of my dress shoes with yogurt

You're aware that you have to throw out all your shoes now, right?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I went into my son's room and set his alarm clock and the time on cell phone an hour ahead. Then I woke him up by throwing the cat at his balls.

 

[Henry Ford]

I went into my son's room and set his alarm clock and the time on cell phone an hour ahead. Then I woke him up by throwing the cat at his balls.

April Fools!

 

[johnjohn]

I went into my son's room and set his alarm clock and the time on cell phone an hour ahead. Then I woke him up by throwing the cat at his balls.

Weird.... It's like you are trying to be your sons best friend(pulling pranks on him), instead of his father

 

[Henry Ford]

I went into my son's room and set his alarm clock and the time on cell phone an hour ahead. Then I woke him up by throwing the cat at his balls.

Weird.... It's like you are trying to be your sons best friend(pulling pranks on him), instead of his father

My best friend never throws a cat at my balls.

 

[johnjohn]

I went into my son's room and set his alarm clock and the time on cell phone an hour ahead. Then I woke him up by throwing the cat at his balls.

Weird.... It's like you are trying to be your sons best friend(pulling pranks on him), instead of his father

My best friend never throws a cat at my balls.

Did your father throw cats at your balls?

Also, are you really saying you never messed with your best friend growing up, or had him or her mess with you ? That's all I was getting at, messing with someone like that is what friends do to each other, during the teen years especially, and I am tired of these man child parents trying to be best friends with their kids.

 

[-fish-]

Cross-posted from GMTAN--my 9-year old daughter filled all of my dress shoes with yogurt

You're aware that you have to throw out all your shoes now, right?

Pretty much.

 

[Henry Ford]

I went into my son's room and set his alarm clock and the time on cell phone an hour ahead. Then I woke him up by throwing the cat at his balls.

Weird.... It's like you are trying to be your sons best friend(pulling pranks on him), instead of his father

My best friend never throws a cat at my balls.

Did your father throw cats at your balls?

Also, are you really saying you never messed with your best friend growing up, or had him or her mess with you ? That's all I was getting at, messing with someone like that is what friends do to each other, during the teen years especially, and I am tired of these man child parents trying to be best friends with their kids.

My father definitely threw things at my balls. He still throws things at my balls.

 

[Ignoramus]

I'm gonna leave a plate of my poop on a plate in the office kitchen. Let's see if someone eats it!

Charger. It's called a charger.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Someone in the office next door brought in cream-filled doughnuts. But instead of cream, they were filled with mayonnaise.

I would literally kill people for doing this to me. Like, actually beat them to death with a three hole punch.

 

[johnjohn]

I went into my son's room and set his alarm clock and the time on cell phone an hour ahead. Then I woke him up by throwing the cat at his balls.

Weird.... It's like you are trying to be your sons best friend(pulling pranks on him), instead of his father

My best friend never throws a cat at my balls.

Did your father throw cats at your balls?

Also, are you really saying you never messed with your best friend growing up, or had him or her mess with you ? That's all I was getting at, messing with someone like that is what friends do to each other, during the teen years especially, and I am tired of these man child parents trying to be best friends with their kids.

My father definitely threw things at my balls. He still throws things at my balls.

So, what kind of person are you today? I am sure your father didn't do a great job raising you if he really did that... lol

 

[Henry Ford]

I went into my son's room and set his alarm clock and the time on cell phone an hour ahead. Then I woke him up by throwing the cat at his balls.

Weird.... It's like you are trying to be your sons best friend(pulling pranks on him), instead of his father

My best friend never throws a cat at my balls.

Did your father throw cats at your balls?

Also, are you really saying you never messed with your best friend growing up, or had him or her mess with you ? That's all I was getting at, messing with someone like that is what friends do to each other, during the teen years especially, and I am tired of these man child parents trying to be best friends with their kids.

My father definitely threw things at my balls. He still throws things at my balls.

So, what kind of person are you today? I am sure your father didn't do a great job raising you if he really did that... lol

I'm a terrible human being who's done nothing with my life. In fact, I'm late for my food stamps and my appointment with my probation officer right now. Later, I think I'll rob a liquor store and get some children hooked on heroin. That's what I do for fun.

 

[Henry Ford]

Just kidding. I don't acknowledge any of my illegitimate children or pay support, so I don't qualify for food stamps.

 

[gump]

This looks like it would be fun: http://i.imgur.com/SqtXjSI.jpg

Why? Oh I thought I was eating a M&M but it's really a skittle?? Sick burn.

WHO IS THE MOTHERFUNKER THAT REPLACED THIS DELICIOUS CANDY WITH ANOTHER VARIETY OF DELICIOUS CANDY?!?!

It was a Twix! They're all Twix! It was a set up...April Fools!

 

[Ignoramus]

I went into my son's room and set his alarm clock and the time on cell phone an hour ahead. Then I woke him up by throwing the cat at his balls.

Weird.... It's like you are trying to be your sons best friend(pulling pranks on him), instead of his father

Like a 63-year-old needs a "father figure."

 

[johnjohn]

Henry, tell us, all there is to know about you, but on a serious level, so we can judge what kind of damage your father has done to you.

 

[Henry Ford]

Henry, tell us, all there is to know about you, but on a serious level, so we can judge what kind of damage your father has done to you.

I once shot a man in Reno. Just to watch him die.

 

[Henry Ford]

Oh, and I can't get sexually aroused unless I'm wearing full catcher's gear and she is chewing tobacco, but I don't think that's related.

 

[UniAlias]

Man child parent.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Henry, tell us, all there is to know about you, but on a serious level, so we can judge what kind of damage your father has done to you.

I once shot a man in Reno. Just to watch him die.

Come on. Be serious so he can ridicule your answers.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

This young guy I work with has been out for the last 3 days because his wife gave birth to their first kid. I spread a rumor that the baby came out black because his wife is a total whore.

 

[Henry Ford]

Henry, tell us, all there is to know about you, but on a serious level, so we can judge what kind of damage your father has done to you.

I once shot a man in Reno. Just to watch him die.

Come on. Be serious so he can ridicule your answers.

Alright, fine.

I did it because the guy threw a cat at my balls. And he was my father. And I shot him with a finger-gun. And he made fun of me afterwards for my finger-gun and my limp, lifeless hair, and now I cry myself to sleep.

 

[Henry Ford]

This young guy I work with has been out for the last 3 days because his wife gave birth to their first kid. I spread a rumor that the baby came out black because his wife is a total whore.

Man-child, please.