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Are you an underachiever? (1 Viewer)

belljr

belljr

Footballguy
Not sure why this has been in my thoughts maybe because I see a lot of me in my daughter.

I've come to realize that professionally I am an under achiever.

Which is weird to say since
a) I have a very good job that pays well
b) I'm very good at my job and people come to me to fix many issues
c) I have worked on many cool prototypes and projects. Even worked on a project with NASA...

However, with all that look at me - I definitely know I was "lazy" and never probably really achieved my full potential. I am a hard worker and will learn things but I will learn just enough to let me do my job well and i do just enough to make me "know" more than most at work.

That being said I just never cared enough to really go after it and be a go getter and learn more. I know I could have created some cool app/webpage/technology based thing but i really didn'tcare enough or have passion to really pursue something. For example way back in the day on APPLE II lol - i created a program for my dad to create tournament schedules. Pretty basic right - well back then everything was done on paper by hand.

He flips out - this is awesome we should market this blah blah blah - something small I know but the concept and execution was there but i built it just for him.

Maybe I lack vision I don't know - I fell into my career because I was good at logic. I took some test , crushed it and became a developer to start.

Anyway thats my old guy reflection for today.
 
belljr said:
However, with all that look at me - I definitely know I was "lazy" and never probably really achieved my full potential. I am a hard worker and will learn things but I will learn just enough to let me do my job well and i do just enough to make me "know" more than most at work.
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I know I fall into this exactly. I have a different take though. I think what I value leads me to being "lazy" in many facets of life because those just aren't really important to me. My job is interesting but it's just a job. I have never been the type that wants to make the job my life. It's a means to do everything else I like. Go to games, golf, bowl, play cards, hang out with friends.

I also wonder many times why I have succeded professionally because I don't really feel like I do anything special. I am organized, stay on top of schedules and have common sense. Much of that is praised highly from leadership and I have been promoted/hired/consulted with etc and have been paid nicely to do such things. I just don't think what I do is all that hard. But apparently a great majority of people have a problem with a lot of these simple things (or at least that is what it feels like when speaking with leadership).

I am at a point now where I can see the professional finish line. I don't really have any goals other than to keep doing what I am doing. It feels lazy but like I said the job has always been just a means to do the other things I like.
 
Today.....no. I'm good at my current gig and on track to end up in a spot where I'll make a very good living near the top of my field which will allow me to retire pretty early.

As a teenager/young man...absolufreakinlutley.

Constantly rode the line of failure back in high school. Never did homework...wrote every paper the night before. Just did the absolute bare minimum. Made mostly B's but occasionally would screw up and get a really bad grade (especially in math) and just made my life SO much harder than it needed to be. 10% more effort and I probably would have been an A student.

Still got into a good college but it was a major adjustment. Had to teach myself how to study, get out in front of things, work on stuff ahead of time, etc. Led to a couple of rocky early semesters but eventually made it through again....with mostly B's.

Was on cruise control a lot early in my career. Again.....always got my stuff done, but never really excelled. Took a failed jump to a new company (I didn't fail. Just hated it and went back to my old company ASAP) about 8 years ago to reset and realize that I'd need to step it up if I wanted to make big $$, retire early, not have to deal with certain things I didn't want to deal with.

Similar deal with sports. I was always able to get by on natural ability but never REALLY (in retrospect) put in the effort i would have needed to really hit my potential. Looking back, I can say I never put in the work. And I do regret it. Obviously I wouldn't have been a pro or anything.....but I could have done a lot more.

Turning 40 this fall. At this point, my goal is to retire at some point between 55-60. So my career is basically half-way over (which is insane to say). Another few years of really hard work and I'll get to a point where my salary/stock options will get me out sooner rather than later. That's a good feeling.
 
Gally said:
belljr said:
However, with all that look at me - I definitely know I was "lazy" and never probably really achieved my full potential. I am a hard worker and will learn things but I will learn just enough to let me do my job well and i do just enough to make me "know" more than most at work.
Click to expand...
I know I fall into this exactly. I have a different take though. I think what I value leads me to being "lazy" in many facets of life because those just aren't really important to me. My job is interesting but it's just a job. I have never been the type that wants to make the job my life. It's a means to do everything else I like. Go to games, golf, bowl, play cards, hang out with friends.

I also wonder many times why I have succeded professionally because I don't really feel like I do anything special. I am organized, stay on top of schedules and have common sense. Much of that is praised highly from leadership and I have been promoted/hired/consulted with etc and have been paid nicely to do such things. I just don't think what I do is all that hard. But apparently a great majority of people have a problem with a lot of these simple things (or at least that is what it feels like when speaking with leadership).

I am at a point now where I can see the professional finish line. I don't really have any goals other than to keep doing what I am doing. It feels lazy but like I said the job has always been just a means to do the other things I like.
Click to expand...
This is me 100%.

I decided years ago that I will never love work. It's just a means to do all the stuff I really want to do.
 
Underachieving relative to your acquaintances/friends (which could be you comparing yourself to others) or underachieving based on your perceptions/beliefs about your own abilities? Based on your post, sounds more like the latter.

My fear of failure has at times driven periods where I underachieve. Intuitively, this makes sense. A vicious cycle of: Perfectionist tendencies creating a fear of failing which leads to not pushing personal boundaries, and thus, a feeling of underachievement. Perfect is the enemy of good. Or at least that's what a wise man once said.

At the end of the day, a job is a job. Grass is always greener. There are overachievers who work tons and make their job their life and miss out on important things in life.
 
TLEF316 said:
Today.....no. I'm good at my current gig and on track to end up in a spot where I'll make a very good living near the top of my field which will allow me to retire pretty early.

As a teenager/young man...absolufreakinlutley.

Constantly rode the line of failure back in high school. Never did homework...wrote every paper the night before. Just did the absolute bare minimum. Made mostly B's but occasionally would screw up and get a really bad grade (especially in math) and just made my life SO much harder than it needed to be. 10% more effort and I probably would have been an A student.

Still got into a good college but it was a major adjustment. Had to teach myself how to study, get out in front of things, work on stuff ahead of time, etc. Led to a couple of rocky early semesters but eventually made it through again....with mostly B's.

Was on cruise control a lot early in my career. Again.....always got my stuff done, but never really excelled. Took a failed jump to a new company (I didn't fail. Just hated it and went back to my old company ASAP) about 8 years ago to reset and realize that I'd need to step it up if I wanted to make big $$, retire early, not have to deal with certain things I didn't want to deal with.

Similar deal with sports. I was always able to get by on natural ability but never REALLY (in retrospect) put in the effort i would have needed to really hit my potential. Looking back, I can say I never put in the work. And I do regret it. Obviously I wouldn't have been a pro or anything.....but I could have done a lot more.

Turning 40 this fall. At this point, my goal is to retire at some point between 55-60. So my career is basically half-way over (which is insane to say). Another few years of really hard work and I'll get to a point where my salary/stock options will get me out sooner rather than later. That's a good feeling.
Click to expand...
I can relate to sports. I was always good at whatever sport I played. Played with guys that went on to college and pros that I was actually better than. And I was recruited to play But I rarely put in the extra effort
 
belljr said:
Not sure why this has been in my thoughts maybe because I see a lot of me in my daughter.

I've come to realize that professionally I am an under achiever.

Which is weird to say since
a) I have a very good job that pays well
b) I'm very good at my job and people come to me to fix many issues
c) I have worked on many cool prototypes and projects. Even worked on a project with NASA...

However, with all that look at me - I definitely know I was "lazy" and never probably really achieved my full potential. I am a hard worker and will learn things but I will learn just enough to let me do my job well and i do just enough to make me "know" more than most at work.

That being said I just never cared enough to really go after it and be a go getter and learn more. I know I could have created some cool app/webpage/technology based thing but i really didn'tcare enough or have passion to really pursue something. For example way back in the day on APPLE II lol - i created a program for my dad to create tournament schedules. Pretty basic right - well back then everything was done on paper by hand.

He flips out - this is awesome we should market this blah blah blah - something small I know but the concept and execution was there but i built it just for him.

Maybe I lack vision I don't know - I fell into my career because I was good at logic. I took some test , crushed it and became a developer to start.

Anyway thats my old guy reflection for today.
Click to expand...
Oh, hi me!
 
belljr said:
Not sure why this has been in my thoughts maybe because I see a lot of me in my daughter.

I've come to realize that professionally I am an under achiever.

Which is weird to say since
a) I have a very good job that pays well
b) I'm very good at my job and people come to me to fix many issues
c) I have worked on many cool prototypes and projects. Even worked on a project with NASA...

However, with all that look at me - I definitely know I was "lazy" and never probably really achieved my full potential. I am a hard worker and will learn things but I will learn just enough to let me do my job well and i do just enough to make me "know" more than most at work.

That being said I just never cared enough to really go after it and be a go getter and learn more. I know I could have created some cool app/webpage/technology based thing but i really didn'tcare enough or have passion to really pursue something. For example way back in the day on APPLE II lol - i created a program for my dad to create tournament schedules. Pretty basic right - well back then everything was done on paper by hand.

He flips out - this is awesome we should market this blah blah blah - something small I know but the concept and execution was there but i built it just for him.

Maybe I lack vision I don't know - I fell into my career because I was good at logic. I took some test , crushed it and became a developer to start.

Anyway thats my old guy reflection for today.
Click to expand...
I'm way worse than you.

My career is a series of failures with 10 job changes in 20 years including 2 firings.

I was an advanced student in HS and sleepwalked my way to a Finance degree in 4 years with minimal effort while playing college sports. Also passed the CPA exam without much trouble.

I've never enjoyed my work in accounting and procrastinate and self-sabotage myself regularly. I'm intelligent, well spoken and get along well with my peers. I just can't focus on work consistently enough to do well.

Meanwhile, my wife struggled mightily through school but is the hardest worker I know, loves her job and has had nothing but success after success in her career.

My resume should be in the dictionary beside "underachiever".
 
Capella said:
Nah. I don’t work as hard as others and could have climbed the work ladder further but I have a nice house with a great wife and a cool kid and another on the way. I made it. I don’t care about professional goals, just a means to an end (me having a good life).
Click to expand...
Thats just it. I'm not saying I wanted to live and breath work for ever but I definitely feel if I applied myself a little more Id be "ahead" of where I'm at now. And I am not complaining about my life as I'm pretty content for the most part but I think if I did that little more here and there i would have be comfortable earlier.....

I'm definitely successful but definitely not as "successful" as I could/should....
 
See, I need to show this thread to my wife. We were just talking about this issue literally last night. I was trying to convince her that I'm not weird (uphill climb), and it's perfectly normal to men to take stock of things when they reach a particular age. Our discussion was a little different, in that I took the view that both of our kids IMO are in the process of selling themselves a bit short whereas her view is more mom-like in that every decision our kids have made was great and wonderful. That probably sounds a bit ambiguous, so I should add that this was a serious but non-confrontational discussion between two people who are exactly on the same team but just have somewhat different philosophies on parenting. But I couldn't get her to accept the idea that men don't just automatically affirm/celebrate every decision made by their adult children, and that we definitely second-guess decisions that we made ourselves earlier in life.

I don't look like an underachiever to most people, but I realize now that I definitely could have gone to an elite college if it had seriously occurred to me to do so. I got a top-shelf undergraduate education, but my alma mater doesn't have the sort of name recognition or open the same sort of doors as a Princeton or Brown or even the various "public ivies." That almost certainly affected my career trajectory. But as I mentioned in another thread, I am very cool with settling into a comfortable role that gives me awesome work-life balance, so it's not as if I'm unhappy with where I landed. I just have to forthrightly acknowledge that I could be operating on a higher level if I was more motivated by career advancement.

This may seem odd -- it probably is -- but I find myself thinking a lot about my family tree and the direction that my genes are headed. I grew up on a farm, which tells you that I came from a very particular type of blue-collar background. My dad and uncle successfully developed that farm to the point that they were both retired and living very comfortably by my age. My wife's dad was the CEO of a major regional firm prior to his retirement. She and I are doing just fine, but we're both salaried professionals who did not achieve the same level of conventional success as either of our parents. And we're by far the most successful people in our generation on either side of our respective families. Without getting into details, on my dad's side alone I have one cousin with a mental disability, another cousin who cannot work due to Lyme disease and mental health issues, and another cousin who died from an overdose 15 years ago. My sister and I are it as far as my grandparents' genetic lineage goes, and all but one of her kids are basket cases with no serious career prospects. My own kids are opting for white-collar professions that pay less than mine -- think "helping professions." I can't shake the feeling that my extended family is somehow on a downward trajectory and that I kind of dropped the ball by not working harder to move up another rung or two in society, because it turned out that I was our only hope. Of course, who knows what will become of my kids and grandkids and so on. Just interesting to think about.
 
My only real regret was not saving enough early for retirement. I had no real guidance from my parents in that area.

So my main goal as a parent is to make sure my kids are well aware the benefits of saving money early. All three kids (all 17 and under) have investment accounts and healthy savings accounts. My 17 year old works at Home Depot and has been enrolled in their 401k for over a year now (since he started).

They hopefully will be better off at 53 than I am.
 
Absolutely, and I take on more than I can handle (ie, doing fantasy football projections/articles for a MAJOR fantasy football site :oldunsure: ) so that leads to underachieving in other areas, mostly my "real job"
 
Keerock said:
MAC_32 said:
I was for 38 years of my life. Then I fell bass ackwards into a promotion and my life has been nonsense induced stress for going on about 21 months now.
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So you're saying it's worth it?
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If this sustains? Hell no, but my new boss is aware. Most of the problems we are dealing with are ones we inherited that were caused elsewhere and the last admin was too chicken **** to address. I told her about this time last year that we are looking at a timeline of about 18 months to address and fix the problems then we have about 6 months to prep to covert to a new ERP. If we do all that right then I think we're looking at stability late 2024, but that's a looooong way away. We are currently amidst the accountability phase of the 18 month timeline and other dept heads aren't taking well to the you suck at your job and this is why message.
 
Wow good topic. I recently took a director's role at a new company. Executive level and one I had not had before. I've always been an operational manager and did that pretty well throughout my career. But 7 months into this director job, I feel.....like I'm not earning it. But at the same time, it's not needed as much. It's about leadership now. Setting the vision, getting employee buy into it and so on...I know from both my history and my heart that if I need to step up and put in the long hours and bust my butt..I'd do it in a minute....Yet....I wonder if I am performing as a director / leader is--or should be performing.
But I continue to learn and be there for my team
 
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Also, meant to add, I turned down multiple team lead/management positions, wasn't worth it to me
 
Compared to most, no.

For my ability/aptitude, definitely could have worked and accomplished more professionally and academically but glad I didn't. I waited until 46 to start my business and could have pulled it off at least a decade earlier if it was my life's mission, which it wasn't. I work about 30 hours a week now as a small business owner and it's fun as I enjoy the challenge, hope to be retired at 55 could do it now comfortably at 48 but I want nice things/experiences so happy to keep working 7ish more years.

I'm aligned with the old saying, "few people on their death bed have the thought "I should have worked more.""
 
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Underachieved academically. Terrible procrastinator, who completed most of my homework and studying in home room. Didn’t do much more in college, but managed to get decent grades, and an advanced degree, eventually.

Initially followed the same pattern athletically. I was terrible at sports in high school, largely because I was lazy. But as I get older, I’m better at pushing myself physically, and less afraid of failure. My peers now consider me a good athlete, though it may largely just be a function of attrition in middle age.

Professionally, I’d like to think I do a decent job. I could definitely do more though, as I only work part time, and plan on retiring early.

But I’m happy and healthy, with a wonderful wife, family and friends. Not sure “overachieving” would leave me in a better place.
 
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Terminalxylem said:
My peers now consider me a good athlete, though it may largely just be a function of attrition in middle age.
Click to expand...
I'm 50, and I'm noticing more or more people in my peer group who will take the elevator to go up one flight of stairs. Many of the people who take the stairs do so because they view it as exercise. Which it is, sort of, I guess, but if you are put out by flight or two of stairs, you are in really bad shape and you are not going to enjoy all that travelling that you said you were going to do in your golden years. I'm extremely aware of the fact that I am soft and flabby compared to my marathoning days, but sheesh.

You are 100% on to something about middle-age attrition. I've grown soft and flabby since my marathoning days, but it sometimes feels like I've actually gained fitness relative to my peers.
 
belljr said:
I've come to realize that professionally I am an under achiever.

Which is weird to say since
a) I have a very good job that pays well
b) I'm very good at my job and people come to me to fix many issues
c) I have worked on many cool prototypes and projects. Even worked on a project with NASA...

However, with all that look at me - I definitely know I was "lazy" and never probably really achieved my full potential. I am a hard worker and will learn things but I will learn just enough to let me do my job well and i do just enough to make me "know" more than most at work.
Click to expand...
If this is the definition of underachiever than you and I will be competing to put our pictures in Webster next to the word :hifive:
 
I wouldn’t say I’m an underachiever. In fact, I’m on overachiever as I always want to work hard and be good at what I do. This goes all the way back to when I was a teenager working at a video store. I was the polar opposite of the stereotypical slacker video store employee. I was out on the floor helping customers and giving them highly specialized movie recommendations based on what kinds of movies they like. I would happily go through every box in the return bin to hopefully find that new release the customer is looking for. So, I’m an overachiever if anything.

BUT

What I am not is a risk taker. And I think that has really undermined my ability to realize my full potential, whatever that may have been. Could I have been a successful musician? It was my dream after all. I don’t know. And I’ll never know. Because I lacked the courage to take any risk at all to pursue that dream. Could I be more successful professionally if I had done something on my own rather than being a worker bee for most of my career? Possibly. I’m surrounded by people who are hugely successful in their careers and the only difference I’ve been able to pinpoint is that they had the courage to take risks while I did not.
 
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IvanKaramazov said:
Terminalxylem said:
My peers now consider me a good athlete, though it may largely just be a function of attrition in middle age.
Click to expand...
I'm 50, and I'm noticing more or more people in my peer group who will take the elevator to go up one flight of stairs. Many of the people who take the stairs do so because they view it as exercise. Which it is, sort of, I guess, but if you are put out by flight or two of stairs, you are in really bad shape and you are not going to enjoy all that travelling that you said you were going to do in your golden years. I'm extremely aware of the fact that I am soft and flabby compared to my marathoning days, but sheesh.

You are 100% on to something about middle-age attrition. I've grown soft and flabby since my marathoning days, but it sometimes feels like I've actually gained fitness relative to my peers.
Click to expand...
Absolutely.I‘m terribly impatient, such that waiting for an elevator makes me antsy. So I‘m always looking for the stairs. I’ll even interrupt conversations if necessary, which is a bit awkward when reconvening with the elevator taker.

The problem is, many buildings don’t plan on stair traffic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve exited into some back alley, kitchen/employee-only work space, or found a blocked exit. One time in NYC we burst into a movie scene, which they were filming in a cordoned off area adjacent to the stairwell.

I always reassure my wife we’re getting free exercise, and gaining experiences regular tourists miss. She‘s not amused, especially when the doors are locked, or an alarm is threatened (most of the time, the warnings are false, or it’s inaudible).

But your point remains, many of the people neglecting their health are in for a rude awakening in retirement, if not before. I’ve never understood killing oneself at work, while sacrificing an able body to do other stuff down the road.

The flip side is, if you regularly exercise into middle age, some of the sloths start treating you like a ******* Ironman. If that ever goes to your head, I suggest exercising with someone in their 20’s, for a quick reminder of the relativity in play. And if you’re stupid like me, you may even gain an injury for your efforts.
 
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Terminalxylem said:
IvanKaramazov said:
Terminalxylem said:
My peers now consider me a good athlete, though it may largely just be a function of attrition in middle age.
Click to expand...
I'm 50, and I'm noticing more or more people in my peer group who will take the elevator to go up one flight of stairs. Many of the people who take the stairs do so because they view it as exercise. Which it is, sort of, I guess, but if you are put out by flight or two of stairs, you are in really bad shape and you are not going to enjoy all that travelling that you said you were going to do in your golden years. I'm extremely aware of the fact that I am soft and flabby compared to my marathoning days, but sheesh.

You are 100% on to something about middle-age attrition. I've grown soft and flabby since my marathoning days, but it sometimes feels like I've actually gained fitness relative to my peers.
Click to expand...
Absolutely.I‘m terribly inpatient, such that waiting for an elevator makes me antsy. So I‘m always looking for the stairs. I’ll even interrupt conversations if necessary, which is a bit awkward when reconvening with the elevator taker.

The problem is, many buildings don’t plan on stair traffic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve exited into some back alley, kitchen/employee-only work space, or found a blocked exit. One time in NYC we burst into a movie scene, which they were filming in a cordoned off area adjacent to the stairwell.

I always reassure my wife we’re getting free exercise, and gaining experiences regular tourists miss. She‘s not amused, especially when the doors are locked, or an alarm is threatened (most of the time, the warnings are false, or it’s inaudible).

But your point remains, many of the people neglecting their health are in for a rude awakening in retirement, if not before. I’ve never understood killing oneself at work, while sacrificing an able body to do other stuff down the road.

The flip side is, if you regularly exercise into middle age, some of the sloths start treating you like a ******* Ironman. If that ever goes to your head, I suggest exercising with someone in their 20’s, for a quick reminder of the relativity in play. And if you’re stupid like me, you may even gain an injury for your efforts.
Click to expand...
I spend a good chunk of the winter running at my campus wellness center around a bunch of 20 year olds. No chance of getting arrogant. ;)
 
bigbottom said:
What I am not is a risk taker. And I think that has really undermined my ability to realize my full potential, whatever that may have been. Could I have been a successful musician? It was my dream after all. I don’t know. And I’ll never know. Because I lacked the courage to take any risk at all to pursue that dream. Could I be more successful professionally if I had done something on my own rather than being a worker bee for most of my career? Possibly. I’m surrounded by people who are hugely successful in their careers and the only difference I’ve been able to pinpoint is that they had the courage to take risks while I did not.
Click to expand...
Funny you say this, after discussions we‘ve had about job satisfaction. IIRC, you risked a big change mid-career, and have been rewarded tremendously, as far as I can tell. Meanwhile, I’m pretty much running out the clock.

Which is odd, as I‘m fairly certain most would view my activities as anything but risk-averse: climbing/mountaineering, skiing, canyoneering, etc. Some even might (incorrectly) characterize me as a thrill-seeker. I can’t tell you how many times my peers at work have categorized my leisure choices as “crazy.”

But I guess the risks of public humiliation/failure are different than hanging off a cliff.
 
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