Article - Why We Should Stop Calling Adult Women "Girls"' - Thoughts? (1 Viewer)

[Nathan R. Jessep]

Context, micro social groups and all kinds of other qualifiers I would think control this to a certain extent.

Basically, dont be a jerk. Act respectful. And generally speaking you should be fine.

The women I am around are mainly from church in some variant at this point and they all refer to themselves as ladies. Like, you go lady; you ladies rock; etc corny statements.

Yep, context and tone as well. 

 

[rockaction]

Yes. At eighteen. And this is from me. 

 

[GroveDiesel]

I was literally going to quote your post and write, I agree toots.

But you took that from me.

Still funny.

Sugar***s works too I think.

 

[DallasDMac]

I guess I'm just doomed. If this it what it takes just to simply respond to or greet a person nowadays, I'll end up standing there for five minutes just trying to run through the options, figure out all the possible ramifications of each one based on the "offendability" factor of the person I am addressing, consider all the peripheral effects on those not directly involved in the discussion but that may be in earshot... Screw it, I'll stay home and not talk to anyone.

 

[Ghost Rider]

When I was a bartender in college, this is what I used no matter the age. 

Back in my bartending days, I would often use "folks," which might have come off as old-fashioned, but it was generic enough to not offend anyone.  Of course, nowadays someone would find a way to be offended by it. 

 

[Joe Bryant]

  Secondary response would actually be “guys” - I use that for generic groups of people.  

Good luck with that. I'll let you answer the inevitable emails I get every year about how I hate women with footballguys... 

 

[tonydead]

Heard the lady trying to get the wife to join her workout group today refer to themselves as "babes" so that's what I'm going with from now on.  

 

[Politician Spock]

Context, micro social groups and all kinds of other qualifiers I would think control this to a certain extent.

Basically, dont be a jerk. Act respectful. And generally speaking you should be fine.

The women I am around are mainly from church in some variant at this point and they all refer to themselves as ladies. Like, you go lady; you ladies rock; etc corny statements.

I dated this chick in college who HATED being called "lady" or "babe".

I think she just despised Styx. 

That said, the article is dumb. It said if I'm in a group of guys, we would never be called "boys" and if we were called "boys", we'd be offended. Happens a lot to me and my friends. "what can I get you boys" seems to be the preferred phrase around here. And we've never been offended. We don't go to Hooters to get offended by the wait staff. 

 

[wilked]

Short answer is: yes. If you don’t see this already you may be a little tone deaf. If your gut instinct is to “defend” by comparison to “boys” you are certainly tone deaf 

 

[wilked]

Edit to add - focus on the issue - women and the term girls. There no need to introduce the opposite (men / boys) - let the issue be debated on its own merits. He two are not opposite and equal 

 

[falguy]

Signed,

Toots

 

[chet]

https://www.bustle.com/articles/182414-why-we-need-to-stop-calling-women-girls

I do this but I can understand the point of the article. My question - what is the word women would prefer we use? (realizing there are few women here) Basically, what's the female equal to "guys"? "Gals" sounds dumb. Maybe there isn't one? Maybe just say "you"? Open to ideas here.

Another attempt by the radical left to control free speech.  Don't fall for it and say whatever you want.  Use your own judgement to determine what's offensive and out of bounds--don't let someone else do it for you.

 

[Politician Spock]

Edit to add - focus on the issue - women and the term girls. There no need to introduce the opposite (men / boys) - let the issue be debated on its own merits. He two are not opposite and equal 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTowId2CWHA

 

[wilked]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTowId2CWHA

I bet you think thats hilarious 

 

[Man In The Box]

Screw it, I'll stay home and not talk to anyone.

I started doing this about a year ago. Sometimes when I go out to run an errand or whatever, I’ll throw the ear buds in. They’re usually not even connected to my phone. Bliss. 

 

[Politician Spock]

I bet you think thats hilarious 

9,774,464 views is about 9,700,000 more views than article in the OP will ever get. 

 

[chet]

The author complains about the lack of respect for women in our society--a typical BS complaint from radical left feminists.  I'd be very interested in hearing how she thinks women are disrespected in western society.  Would she be happier in Saudi Arabia?  Completely asinine.

 

[wilked]

The author complains about the lack of respect for women in our society--a typical BS complaint from radical left feminists.  I'd be very interested in hearing how she thinks women are disrespected in western society.  Would she be happier in Saudi Arabia?  Completely asinine.

Chey, if my memory serves you’ve got a daughter. 

Its not lack of respect. It’s built in bias within society. Some is subtle, some less subtle. I’ve seen it plenty within the engineering world, none of it malintentioned, but referring to a female colleague as girl includes an inherent bias. We’ve got to break those biases consciously if we seek to create an even playing field. 

 

[tonydead]

I'd be pissed if someone called me chey.  

 

[Politician Spock]

I'd be pissed I'd someone called me chey.  

Please use "urinated", as to not offend the snowflakes. 

 

[chet]

Chey, if my memory serves you’ve got a daughter. 

Its not lack of respect. It’s built in bias within society. Some is subtle, some less subtle. I’ve seen it plenty within the engineering world, none of it malintentioned, but referring to a female colleague as girl includes an inherent bias. We’ve got to break those biases consciously if we seek to create an even playing field. 

HI GB--I do have a daughter.  She's a senior in HS.  

What do you mean by "create an even playing field"?  Do you mean give girls/women an equal opportunity to be engineers or do you mean create a situation where roughly half of engineers are women?  I am totally for the former but think the latter is an absolutely horrible idea that's been tried in the Nordic countries and failed miserably.  

 

[tonydead]

Please use "urinated", as to not offend the snowflakes. 

Oh crap, that was insensitive of me, I meant tinkled. 

Damn it, what's the acceptable word for crap?

Did you know the words dam and damn are homophones?

 

[Politician Spock]

Did you know the words dam and damn are homophones?

Good to see words achieving an even playing field. 

 

[wilked]

HI GB--I do have a daughter.  She's a senior in HS.  

What do you mean by "create an even playing field"?  Do you mean give girls/women an equal opportunity to be engineers or do you mean create a situation where roughly half of engineers are women?  I am totally for the former but think the latter is an absolutely horrible idea that's been tried in the Nordic countries and failed miserably.  

Opportunity. Not a numbers game. But an equal opportunity to lead a meeting, get promoted , be selected project manager. Basically an equal footing. If people use the word “girl” to describe those colleagues I am certain they don’t have that equal footing. 

 

[chet]

How are you supposed to have a conversation of any consequence if you can't say anything that might offend someone?  It's ridiculous but is what the radical left is pushing.

 

[chet]

Opportunity. Not a numbers game. But an equal opportunity to lead a meeting, get promoted , be selected project manager. Basically an equal footing. If people use the word “girl” to describe those colleagues I am certain they don’t have that equal footing. 

So in your example, I agree--the person has to use their judgement and in this case, they'd be better off not using girls for exactly the reason you stated. However, if I'm getting drinks for my wife and her friends, I have no problem asking the girls what they'd like.  Don't fall into the radical left's trap where they want to control what you say by using political correctness as their reason.  

 

[tonydead]

Opportunity. Not a numbers game. But an equal opportunity to lead a meeting, get promoted , be selected project manager. Basically an equal footing. If people use the word “girl” to describe those colleagues I am certain they don’t have that equal footing. 

You realize the OP setting was a restaurant/bar, no?  They weren't colleges, they were waitress and girls night out. 

 

[Politician Spock]

You realize the OP setting was a restaurant/bar, no?  They weren't colleges, they were waitress and girls night out. 

I have never heard "girls" or "boys" used in any corporate setting. Maybe it is happening somewhere, but if it is, the author's use of a restaurant scene is a pretty poor way of making her case that it shouldn't be used in the workforce, which is already widely known by every HR department to be unprofessional language. A wait staff or bartender using it is likely because the restaurant wants to create an informal/casual climate so people can just chill out. Hypersensitive people should probably avoid casual restaurants if this is what it's going to result in.  

 

[tonydead]

Yes that's right, this author is more worried about how this failed actress/art student addresses them while she serves them than they are about the fact that she's doing the best she can to pay the bills without working at the strip club. 

 

[tonydead]

90% of female wait staff and 70% of male wait staff working for tips feel that they have experienced some sort of harassment in their career. 

But don't you dare call me a girl! 

 

[tonydead]

As of March 16, 2019 the national average in wages for a waitress is $462. Just over $11 an hour.  

 

[EYLive]

What if they appear to be females but don't identify as females? They'd scream at you for labeling then. Murica.

 

[Henry Ford]

https://www.bustle.com/articles/182414-why-we-need-to-stop-calling-women-girls

I do this but I can understand the point of the article. My question - what is the word women would prefer we use? (realizing there are few women here) Basically, what's the female equal to "guys"? "Gals" sounds dumb. Maybe there isn't one? Maybe just say "you"? Open to ideas here.

If you said “gals” a lot it wouldn’t sound dumb anymore.  

I often use “folks” when directly addressing groups.  “Y’all” works down here. “You.”  

“I was at a bar and there were probably thirty women” definitely sounds better than “thirty girls.”

When do you use “girls”?

 

[Henry Ford]

The author complains about the lack of respect for women in our society--a typical BS complaint from radical left feminists.  I'd be very interested in hearing how she thinks women are disrespected in western society.  Would she be happier in Saudi Arabia?  Completely asinine.

The fact that someone else is worse doesn’t make a person not a misogynist. 

 

[Henry Ford]

"Miss" is a nice, polite term that seems suitable for any situation, especially coming from the ol' SWC'er.  I can't see how anyone would mind "ladies," either.  Most importantly, "brochacho" works for any person.

I find “m’lady” with a terrible British accent breaks the ice. 

 

[chet]

The fact that someone else is worse doesn’t make a person not a misogynist. 

If it wasn't clear, I was referring to society as a whole and not anyone in particular.  Of course there are unfortunately misogynists in every society but do you think our society is misogynistic?  

 

[DA RAIDERS]

How are you supposed to have a conversation of any consequence if you can't say anything that might offend someone?  It's ridiculous but is what the radical left is pushing.

it's not radical left.  it's being polite.  you're married, correct?  "go tell your girl, i said hello"     

 

[chet]

it's not radical left.  it's being polite.  you're married, correct?  "go tell your girl, i said hello"     

How about you decide what's polite and not let someone else dictate what you can say?  You're falling into their trap.

 

[Henry Ford]

If it wasn't clear, I was referring to society as a whole and not anyone in particular.  Of course there are unfortunately misogynists in every society but do you think our society is misogynistic?  

Sorry, are you seriously asking if I think our society is prejudiced against women?

 

[whoknew]

I just started reading this thread - so I'm way behind - but I'm kind of shocked. I'm really surprised that the OP and others didn't realize that its inappropriate to call women "girls."  And I'm a little shocked people didn't know women do not like that.

ETA: I honestly thought - when I opened this thread - that it would be 100% agreement that its ridiculous to call women "girls". 

 

[DA RAIDERS]

How about you decide what's polite and not let someone else dictate what you can say?  You're falling into their trap.

no one is dictating what i say.  you don't find my calling your wife, 'girl', even slightly off putting?

 

[Henry Ford]

If it wasn't clear, I was referring to society as a whole and not anyone in particular.  Of course there are unfortunately misogynists in every society but do you think our society is misogynistic?  

Do you believe our society has fundamentally changed in its attitudes toward women in the last 30 years? Since 1989.  That things are completely different now, I guess is what I’m asking. People fundamentally think women are worth more now to the point of equality and that’s an enormous societal shift you’ve seen since then. 

 

[chet]

no one is dictating what i say.  you don't find my calling your wife, 'girl', even slightly off putting?

Reading down?  I said for you to decide when to use it. If you're not smart enough to figure out when it's appropriate, then I have the right to not socialize with you.  It's not difficult.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

How about you decide what's polite and not let someone else dictate what you can say?  You're falling into their trap.

in my post, i said, "it's being polite".  not sure how i could be more clear.

i choose to refer to women as miss or ladies.  that's how i was raised.  i was taught, by my mom, a woman by the way, that no one could really take offense to either of those terms.  and this was some 45 years ago.  so i'm pretty sure, that i'm not really being railroaded by the radical left

 

[Henry Ford]

Reading down?  I said for you to decide when to use it. If you're not smart enough to figure out when it's appropriate, then I have the right to not socialize with you.  It's not difficult.

Something something briar patch. 

 

[chet]

Do you believe our society has fundamentally changed in its attitudes toward women in the last 30 years? Since 1989.  That things are completely different now, I guess is what I’m asking. People fundamentally think women are worth more now to the point of equality and that’s an enormous societal shift you’ve seen since then. 

Equality measured how?  By opportunity or outcome?

 

[Henry Ford]

Equality measured how?  By opportunity or outcome?

In attitudes and beliefs. Do you believe that our society treats women as fully equal under the law and in social interaction? Keeping in mind that our Vice President won’t be alone with a woman other than his wife. 

 

[chet]

In attitudes and beliefs. Do you believe that our society treats women as fully equal under the law and in social interaction? Keeping in mind that our Vice President won’t be alone with a woman other than his wife. 

I don't think it's perfect but I think it's better than anywhere else in the world.  I am talking about western civilization.  

Again, when you say fully equal, are you referring to equality of opportunity or equality of outcome?

 

[Henry Ford]

I don't think it's perfect but I think it's better than anywhere else in the world.  I am talking about western civilization.  

Again, when you say fully equal, are you referring to equality of opportunity or equality of outcome?

Again, I’m still not talking about opportunity or outcome. And I’m not asking you about or the rest of the world.  I’m asking about our society.  You seem to not think it’s prejudiced against women. Correct?

 

[Henry Ford]

Because let’s be honest, less than 30 years ago it was still legal to rape your wife in this country.  Have we changed a bunch since then?