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Article - Why We Should Stop Calling Adult Women "Girls"' - Thoughts? (1 Viewer)

Joe Bryant

Joe Bryant

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https://www.bustle.com/articles/182414-why-we-need-to-stop-calling-women-girls

"What can I get you girls?" It's one of the first things my friends and I always hear when we're ordering something in a restaurant or bar. Men of all demographics use the phrase, as do a lot of women. It's become so common that I don't even flinch at it anymore, even if it's something I don't particularly love hearing. If you really think about it, though, addressing a grown-### woman as a girl is pretty problematic, and it's about time we considered nixing the word from our vocabulary entirely.
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I do this but I can understand the point of the article. My question - what is the word women would prefer we use? (realizing there are few women here) Basically, what's the female equal to "guys"? "Gals" sounds dumb. Maybe there isn't one? Maybe just say "you"? Open to ideas here.

 
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I would like “ladies”. I don’t love girls. But I wouldn’t get mad. I agree gals sounds stupid. 

 
Are people being a little too sensitive? If I call a girlfriend “kiddo” or “babe”, is that a bad thing? It would be a similar thing if I called my buddies “dude” or “chief”.... just an affectation. 

 
"What can I get you ladies?"

"What can I get you women?"

"What can I get all of you?"

"What can I get y'all?"

"What can I get you?"

Lots of options. Definitely seems odd to use "girls" for adult women. But, not sure why that would mean we need to nix it from our vocabulary entirely. That seems extreme.

 
I can't even imagine having so much anger inside of you that would cause one to write an article like this.  Every sentence comes across like the author just hates every part of her life and is offended by so many imaginary things.

I call women "girls" all the time in my household and never once has it had any of the negative connotations referenced in this article.

 
Clown Car said:
I would like “ladies”. I don’t love girls. But I wouldn’t get mad. I agree gals sounds stupid. 
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Agree with girls and gals.  Ladies sounds antiquated and borderline patronizing.  IMO, there is no perfect word and gender-neutral language should be used but ultimately I will defer to women's expressed preferences on this

 
Scott Tenorman said:
This is just not true.
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Agreed.

I know that language has meaning and I understand why some groups of people are offended by certain terms and sayings.

This just isn't one of those for me. If most women felt this way, then sure, let's get rid of it, but I just don't think that's the case.

Finally, I hear "ladies" in the settings described in the article far more than I hear "girls". 

 
gianmarco said:
If most women felt this way, then sure, let's get rid of it, but I just don't think that's the case.
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Yeah, I'm guessing a survey of women would show that the vast majority just don't care that much if someone uses "girls" when addressing them.

My daughter's volleyball coach says things like "Come on, guys" or "Way to go, guys" to an all girls volleyball team all the time. I asked her about it once and she said she doesn't care and doesn't know anyone who does care.

 
Scott Tenorman said:
When I'm out with other males I've gotten "What can I get you boys?"   Should I be offended?
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Warren Sapp sure was a few years back.  Stiffed a waitress on a big bill and left a note about how grown men don't want to be called boys.  I thought that was as dumb as this article.

 
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dgreen said:
"What can I get you ladies?"

"What can I get you women?"

"What can I get all of you?"

"What can I get y'all?"

"What can I get you?"

Lots of options. Definitely seems odd to use "girls" for adult women. But, not sure why that would mean we need to nix it from our vocabulary entirely. That seems extreme.
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I don't know.  Why wife occasional gets together for a "Girls Night" out with friends.  I've heard many other adult women refer to it as such.

 
The Tick said:
Warren Sapp sure was a few years back.  Stiffed a waitress on a big bill and left a note about how grown men don't want to be called boys.  I thought that was as dumb as this article.
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There's a racial aspect and some pretty bad history being called "boy".

For a group of white guys, "what'll it be, boys?" sounds like the server is just trying to be chummy.  For a group of black guys, it could be seen as chummy but it also most definitely may not be taken that way.   You can complain about PC culture and pine for everyone to have thicker skin, but if you're in the service industry you absolutely should be aware of how your words land on the people who are directly responsible for a large part of your compensation.  

 
Here's a situation I just dealt with at work...

A male member of my team was going back and forth with a female counterpart on a similar team in another office. He forwarded me the string of emails with one line of text: "I am really frustrated trying to work with this girl."

I found the use of the term "this girl" very problematic. I don't see why a gendered term is necessary there, especially one that denotes someone younger. I called him on it, and he insists it was not meant to diminish her in any way. 

Apologize if this is a Honda too different from the original topic...

 
Pipes said:
I don't know.  Why wife occasional gets together for a "Girls Night" out with friends.  I've heard many other adult women refer to it as such.
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True. "Girls Night" is a common thing. But, when I'm addressing or referring to a group of women, I personally find it weird to call them "girls". And like I said in my other post, I really don't think many women are offended by it, so I don't see it being a big deal.

 
Pipes said:
I don't know.  Why wife occasional gets together for a "Girls Night" out with friends.  I've heard many other adult women refer to it as such.
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Self-reference is much different than an outsider using the same terminology. It certainly feels like girls/gals is much less loaded than many other terms, but that is for the impacted group to decide, not us (white males). 

 
dgreen said:
Yeah, I'm guessing a survey of women would show that the vast majority just don't care that much if someone uses "girls" when addressing them.

My daughter's volleyball coach says things like "Come on, guys" or "Way to go, guys" to an all girls volleyball team all the time. I asked her about it once and she said she doesn't care and doesn't know anyone who does care.
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Twenty-somethings call girls "dude" (both guys addressing *ahem* ladies and *cough* gals talking to boys.)

So Imma kinda meh about this article.

 
JB Breakfast Club said:
Self-reference is much different than an outsider using the same terminology. It certainly feels like girls/gals is much less loaded than many other terms, but that is for the impacted group to decide, not us (white males). 
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Definitely. But, in general, I do think it's best if a society can have language and words that aren't off limits to some groups. Since we don't have that, and probably never will, it's up to each person to try to adjust their language when they learn something new. I'd also say it's up to the offended group to have some patience when asking someone to change the way they've talked for many years.

 
She says people refer to males as "first boys, then guys, then men."

Raise your hand if you ever had a waitress come up to you and some male friends and ask "what can I get you men?"

 
Good topic.

I help coach a middle school girls basketball team.  When our season recently ended I was talking with the mom of our first girl off the bench.  She has one more year of middle school but wants to move up to JV with her friends.  She would likely be 10th to 12th in the rotation doing that playing very little.  On middle school they would build the team around her and another girl.  As I was explaining this to the mother my choice of words were "she could move up and not develop much because there's no playing time available or she can play middle school one more year and be the man".  Obviously, the man is a sports term meaning be the main player.   The mom didn't care about the phrase but as soon as it came out of my mouth I was thinking ugh what's a better way to say that.  

 
higgins said:
Are people being a little too sensitive? If I call a girlfriend “kiddo” or “babe”, is that a bad thing? It would be a similar thing if I called my buddies “dude” or “chief”.... just an affectation. 
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Wow. So much wrong here. PC police will get you. 

I use the term Ladies. 

 
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Ladies sounds better and is more appropriate, but I really don't care if I am with a group of women and we are called girls or gals. 

 
It's time to stop being offended by small stuff like this.  It just creates more headaches.  

I've called women "ma'am" before and they get upset.  The problem is that someone is always going to take offense to something.  And you can't please everyone.  We need to start teaching people to NOT be offended instead of trying to figure out what terms offend certain people.

 
higgins said:
Are people being a little too sensitive? If I call a girlfriend “kiddo” or “babe”, is that a bad thing? It would be a similar thing if I called my buddies “dude” or “chief”.... just an affectation. 
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PM sent, Ace.

 
TheIronSheik said:
It's time to stop being offended by small stuff like this.  It just creates more headaches.  

I've called women "ma'am" before and they get upset.  The problem is that someone is always going to take offense to something.  And you can't please everyone.  We need to start teaching people to NOT be offended instead of trying to figure out what terms offend certain people.
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😆

Some women get really pissed off when you call them ma’am.

 
Eventually it will probably be best to not call anyone anything. Just say "Hello..what would you like to order, or hello can I help you?' to whoever you are serving or dealing with.

 
It's such a tiny issue it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but my niece did literally ask me a couple of months ago how come the male is SuperMAN while the female is SuperGIRL.

Then again wasn't there also recently an article about how the terms "woman" and "female" were sexist because they were based on the words "man" and "male"?  So I dunno, maybe no way to win here.

 
JB Breakfast Club said:
Self-reference is much different than an outsider using the same terminology. It certainly feels like girls/gals is much less loaded than many other terms, but that is for the impacted group to decide, not us (white males). 
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Oh I don't really care just strange to me that I've heard most women saying I'm going out with the girls tonight.  It's not going out with the ladies or gals, etc.  Not a huge deal to me but the article seems strange that its suddenly offensive now when it's been the norm for so long.

 
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