Ask a zookeeper (1 Viewer)

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Would your zoo be interested in adding a human to their primate display? If so I would like to apply for the job. My natural habitate is a recliner in front of a high def. My food requirements are simple, wings, beer, steak and such. You could use those items to coax me from my chair to the front of the cage where I would sit on the scale, sometimes pound and charge the glass, and occassionally sit forlornly slowly scratching at the glass. My rate for the service would be reasonable, and best of all you would not have to house me at night as i could just go home. Think of the savings i that.

 

[B-Deep]

Would your zoo be interested in adding a human to their primate display? If so I would like to apply for the job. My natural habitate is a recliner in front of a high def. My food requirements are simple, wings, beer, steak and such. You could use those items to coax me from my chair to the front of the cage where I would sit on the scale, sometimes pound and charge the glass, and occassionally sit forlornly slowly scratching at the glass. My rate for the service would be reasonable, and best of all you would not have to house me at night as i could just go home. Think of the savings i that.

animals don;t wear clothesyou'd have to do this all naked

 

[perry147]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.

What animals are these?

 

[TLEF316]

Cutest thing ever

 

[sho nuff]

I would like to swim with the seals sometime. It looks like they are having fun. If I dove in with them would they bite my nibblets off or try to have carnal knowledge of me. (Not that either would necessarily discourage me.)

Become a certified scuba diver and you can swim with them in the wild pretty easily. I've done a lot of diving in Monterey, CA. They are very inquisitive and unlikely to try to eat you or have teh sex.One of my favorite diving memories is doing a night dive at monastery beach in Monterey. we ran into a group of sea lions and they would use our dive lights to help them hunt. Shine your light on a fish and the next thing you know a sea lion zooms into view to grab the fish.pretty fun for me, probably not as much for the fish.

Fish were probably 'thinking'...."you #$@hole, its bad enough out here, quite helping out"Was it just Orlando you did not like...or was Animal Kingdom not your type of "zoo"?

 

[HERBERT THE HIPPO]

Have you ever been to the Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa (this is the zoo I was banned from for awhile but all has since been forgiven) , they have an Okapi there.

Are Komodo Dragons as bad ### as they seem?

Can a Komodo Dragon take down an Ostrich?

Would it be possible to have a river otter as a pet?

Are there any hippos at your zoo?

What's the deal with Pygmy Hippos?

How do hippos get so fat when all they eat are plants and stuff like that?

Are the Lesser Kudu's self conscious about their name?

What's the difference between a Steenbok and a Gerenuk?

Do you like Owls? I don't.

Primates are vile disgusting creatures..............

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Would your zoo be interested in adding a human to their primate display? If so I would like to apply for the job. My natural habitate is a recliner in front of a high def. My food requirements are simple, wings, beer, steak and such. You could use those items to coax me from my chair to the front of the cage where I would sit on the scale, sometimes pound and charge the glass, and occassionally sit forlornly slowly scratching at the glass. My rate for the service would be reasonable, and best of all you would not have to house me at night as i could just go home. Think of the savings i that.

animals don;t wear clothesyou'd have to do this all naked

Not a deal breaker for me, but I would want a cloth rather than leather recliner if that were the case.

 

[B-Deep]

Would your zoo be interested in adding a human to their primate display? If so I would like to apply for the job. My natural habitate is a recliner in front of a high def. My food requirements are simple, wings, beer, steak and such. You could use those items to coax me from my chair to the front of the cage where I would sit on the scale, sometimes pound and charge the glass, and occassionally sit forlornly slowly scratching at the glass. My rate for the service would be reasonable, and best of all you would not have to house me at night as i could just go home. Think of the savings i that.

animals don;t wear clothesyou'd have to do this all naked

Not a deal breaker for me, but I would want a cloth rather than leather recliner if that were the case.

smart choice

 

[Harry Manback]

Would your zoo be interested in adding a human to their primate display? If so I would like to apply for the job. My natural habitate is a recliner in front of a high def. My food requirements are simple, wings, beer, steak and such. You could use those items to coax me from my chair to the front of the cage where I would sit on the scale, sometimes pound and charge the glass, and occassionally sit forlornly slowly scratching at the glass. My rate for the service would be reasonable, and best of all you would not have to house me at night as i could just go home. Think of the savings i that.

animals don;t wear clothesyou'd have to do this all naked

Not a deal breaker for me, but I would want a cloth rather than leather recliner if that were the case.

smart choice

He's a smart man.

 

[Studs & Duds]

I have 2 question(blows out) my firend say that he get bit in teh face by a leopard but there was no mark there or nothing. he say that the leopard was very gentle and just touch he teeth to my friend cheek. is that like a customs that they have?aslo does they have zoos for teh dogs.stordsp and s does you knews a lady names bluejeans mctammy? she say she think she work in a zoo with you on ireland

unlikely about the leopard bite. I would question the integrity of your friend's story.zoo for dogs would be the pound. Some zoos use dogs as companion animals though. The cheetah at the San Diego zoo's education show lives with a golden retriever.I've never been to Ireland so your friend must be mistaken. Maybe she lost her mind after that leopard bite.

just a clarify, it wasnt bluejean mctammy that get she cheek bit. (it was huerta and thanks to you i am gonna call he bluff)

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.What animals are these?

Men

 

[valence]

What is your favorite zoo that you've visited? Since sharks are immune to every known disease are they doing any research to find out if we can harness something in their blood for the betterment of man? I'd think it may not work since it looks like we evolved from different points but who knows.Do Silverbacks have enough brainpower to learn even rudimentary levels of MMA? It would be super bad ### to have an MMA trained Silverback.

I'd have to say that the Wild Animal Park in San Diego is my favorite that I have visited. The Georgia Aquarium and the Monterey Bay Aquarium are far and away the best aquariums I've been too.Sharks are amazing. I wouldn't count be surprised if we did something with them eventually. Hopefully not to extinction. I wish people would stop eating shark fin soup though.A silverback wouldn't need any MMA moves. It tear anyone up in the ring using its own brand of gorilla-fu

 

[HERBERT THE HIPPO]

How do you not become too emotionally attached to some of the animals? I would think they would become like pets and that would be tough when their time comes.Also, Let's say a Grizzly bear wanders into the Polar Bear enclosure and we have a 1 on 1 fight.. who wins and why?

Polar bear without a doubt.......

 

[valence]

I saw a dude hand feeding a lion horse meat at MGM Grand.Is he totally crazy?

I've done this. it's a little nuts, but all of their lions are hand raised.

 

[B-Deep]

hey there's a bear cam at his zoo

if valance can just climb into the grizzly enclosure with a penny, this would be epic

 

[Harry Manback]

I saw a dude hand feeding a lion horse meat at MGM Grand.Is he totally crazy?

I've done this. it's a little nuts, but all of their lions are hand raised.

I was terrified for him.Lions are big.

 

[B-Deep]

http://www.zoo.org/bearcam

how'd that zoo get a sweet URL like zoo.org

 

[valence]

How do you not become too emotionally attached to some of the animals? I would think they would become like pets and that would be tough when their time comes.Also, Let's say a Grizzly bear wanders into the Polar Bear enclosure and we have a 1 on 1 fight.. who wins and why?

It's extremely tough, albeit impossible. You have to realize that it's the right time when their quality of life has become so poor that they are better off dead. In November we had to make this deciscion with our oldest male giraffe. It sucked, but it sucked more watching him in pain every day for a condition that couldn't be treated.That's a tough one, but I'd have to go with the polar bear. An average adult male polar bear is larger and likely stronger than your average adult male grizzly. Also polar bears pretty much only eat meat whereas grizzly bears eat berries and fruit too.

 

[valence]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.pretty gross.

 

[Harry Manback]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.pretty gross.

Gross to us, but that orang must have had the best day of his life!

 

[B-Deep]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.pretty gross.

was she banned from the zoo?and did he finish?

 

[spOOfy]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.pretty gross.

was she banned from the zoo?and did he finish?

 

[B-Deep]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.pretty gross.

Gross to us, but that orang must have had the best day of his life!

DW just found another perk for the job

 

[valence]

I would like to swim with the seals sometime. It looks like they are having fun. If I dove in with them would they bite my nibblets off or try to have carnal knowledge of me. (Not that either would necessarily discourage me.)

Become a certified scuba diver and you can swim with them in the wild pretty easily. I've done a lot of diving in Monterey, CA. They are very inquisitive and unlikely to try to eat you or have teh sex.One of my favorite diving memories is doing a night dive at monastery beach in Monterey. we ran into a group of sea lions and they would use our dive lights to help them hunt. Shine your light on a fish and the next thing you know a sea lion zooms into view to grab the fish.pretty fun for me, probably not as much for the fish.

Fish were probably 'thinking'...."you #$@hole, its bad enough out here, quite helping out"Was it just Orlando you did not like...or was Animal Kingdom not your type of "zoo"?

I didn't like Orlando at all. Cultural dead zone and too damn hot to do anything outdoorsy. I enjoyed the job, but working for Disney gets to you. They refer to you as a cast member, not an employee. You wear a costume, not a uniform. You are "on show" when you are out with the public. There is a cast member manual called the "Disney Look Book" that tells you how you can wear your hair, how long your fingernails can be, what kind of sunglasses you can wear etc. It's little bit too much for me. Also they pay their keepers a paltry amount compared to other places. I make twice as much here as I did there.

 

[B-Deep]

at a zoo one time i saw a tiger kill a bird. some pigeon or something swooped into his area, and bam, feathers everywhere and people screaming

does stuff like that happen often? some really dumb racoon climbs into a croc pond and gets eaten, or other are animals happening into zoo areas they should not be?

 

[MC Gusto]

Could you teach a chimp or other high primate to "tell time"? Say they eat every day at 6/12/6. If you put a big traditional clock up and made them aware of the hand locations every time you fed them, would they go ape-#### every time the hands started getting closer to the correct time? Just curious.

 

[CBusAlex]

hey there's a bear cam at his zooif valance can just climb into the grizzly enclosure with a penny, this would be epic

I immediately regret this decision!

 

[B-Deep]

hey there's a bear cam at his zooif valance can just climb into the grizzly enclosure with a penny, this would be epic

I immediately regret this decision!

i have been watchingseen a few bear passes, a lot of birds, 0 keepers and 0 pennies

 

[valence]

Have you ever been to the Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa (this is the zoo I was banned from for awhile but all has since been forgiven) , they have an Okapi there.

Yes I have been there. They just had a baby Okapi I think. Please tell the story of your banning

Are Komodo Dragons as bad ### as they seem?

they are, but like any reptile, they are lazy unless they are hungry

Can a Komodo Dragon take down an Ostrich?

if it could catch one, probably

Would it be possible to have a river otter as a pet?

you wouldn't want one. river otters are one of the most unfair animals in that they are adorable, but nasty. Mean lil' buggers.

Are there any hippos at your zoo?

yes. we have three females. Gertrude, Lilly, and Lupe

What's the deal with Pygmy Hippos?

I don't understand the question.

How do hippos get so fat when all they eat are plants and stuff like that?

if you ate that much grass, you would be that fat too. also they spend most of their time in the water so they need the fat for insulation and buoyancy

Are the Lesser Kudu's self conscious about their name?



they probably don't even know their name

What's the difference between a Steenbok and a Gerenuk?

both types of antelope, but vastly different. have you seen a Gerenuk? They look like the offspring of a giraffe and a gazelle. also their ears are weird.

Do you like Owls? I don't.

I do.

Primates are vile disgusting creatures..............

can't argue with you there.

Bonus:Hippo escape

 

[Guster]

Top 3 zoos you'd like to work at?

How about 3 you've heard bad things about?

 

[valence]

hey there's a bear cam at his zooif valance can just climb into the grizzly enclosure with a penny, this would be epic

I'll spell out "I love B-Deep" in pennies on my chest. seriously though, I don't work on the north team so the chances are pretty slim

 

[valence]

http://www.zoo.org/bearcam

how'd that zoo get a sweet URL like zoo.org

We are OG.my email address is @zoo.org

 

[valence]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.

What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.

pretty gross.

was she banned from the zoo?and did he finish?

surprisingly, no she wasn't banned. Security always sends out a radio call to the keepers when she is on grounds though.Towan always finishes.

 

[spOOfy]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.

What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.

pretty gross.

was she banned from the zoo?and did he finish?

surprisingly, no she wasn't banned. Security always sends out a radio call to the keepers when she is on grounds though.Towan always finishes.

 

[CBusAlex]

How often do animals escape? Do they ever get out permanantly? (i.e. never recaptured)

 

[valence]

at a zoo one time i saw a tiger kill a bird. some pigeon or something swooped into his area, and bam, feathers everywhere and people screamingdoes stuff like that happen often? some really dumb racoon climbs into a croc pond and gets eaten, or other are animals happening into zoo areas they should not be?

All the time. a friend was giving a donor tour last spring when there were wild mallard babies everywhere. Kalissa the female lion pounced on 3 of them and an adult right in front of the tour. She didn't even eat them apparently, instead choosing to roll around on the carcasses.I would often find rabbit parts in the meerkat exhibit at the SF zoo. poor bunnies had no idea what they were getting into.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.pretty gross.

Gross to us, but that orang must have had the best day of his life!

DW just found another perk for the job

I laughed.

 

[valence]

Could you teach a chimp or other high primate to "tell time"? Say they eat every day at 6/12/6. If you put a big traditional clock up and made them aware of the hand locations every time you fed them, would they go ape-#### every time the hands started getting closer to the correct time? Just curious.

I don't think they could "read" the clock, but they definitely know when it's meal time. They could probably eventually make the connection.

 

[AAABatteries]

Top 3 zoos you'd like to work at?How about 3 you've heard bad things about?

Good question and great thread, I was going to ask to list maybe your top 10 zoos in the US, but however you want to list them is fine.

 

[Sheriff Bart]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.

What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.

pretty gross.

FML

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I have heard that women who are menstruating should not be around certain type animals? It makes them crazy.

What animals are these?

that does have some truth to it. Great Apes go a little nuts around them. I have heard courtship grunts from our male gorillas towards our female keepers. it's pretty disturbing.on the other side of the spectrum, we have "orangutan groupies" that will come to the zoo and bring stuffed animals and stuff to show the orangs through the glass. on one occasion a female was caught exposing herself to Towan the male orang while he was enjoying himself.

pretty gross.

was she banned from the zoo?and did he finish?

surprisingly, no she wasn't banned. Security always sends out a radio call to the keepers when she is on grounds though.Towan always finishes.

GB him.

 

[valence]

Top 3 zoos you'd like to work at?How about 3 you've heard bad things about?

I'd like to work at a foreign zoo like the Irwin's in Australia. There's an elephant sanctuary in Thailand that I would love to visit and volunteer at one day. As far as US zoos I'd go with San Diego, Bronx, and Columbus There are lots of bad stories about zoos most of which aren't true or partially true. The SF zoo gets a ton of bad press, but it isn't nearly as bad as they make it out to be. Most of the really bad stories come from circuses or other roadside type zoos that are not AZA accredited. AZA guidelines are pretty strict. I'd be comfortable working in most AZA zoos.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I grew up near the Milwaukee Zoo. Back in the '60's it was considered one of the state of the art zoo's in the Country. How about now?

 

[Guster]

Top 3 zoos you'd like to work at?How about 3 you've heard bad things about?

I'd like to work at a foreign zoo like the Irwin's in Australia. There's an elephant sanctuary in Thailand that I would love to visit and volunteer at one day. As far as US zoos I'd go with San Diego, Bronx, and Columbus There are lots of bad stories about zoos most of which aren't true or partially true. The SF zoo gets a ton of bad press, but it isn't nearly as bad as they make it out to be. Most of the really bad stories come from circuses or other roadside type zoos that are not AZA accredited. AZA guidelines are pretty strict. I'd be comfortable working in most AZA zoos.

Any thoughts on the Cincinnati Zoo? They bill themselves as the World's Sexiest Zoo

 

[valence]

How often do animals escape? Do they ever get out permanantly? (i.e. never recaptured)

I'm sure permanent escapes do happen, but I've never heard of one. Most escapes happen when changes to an exhibit occur or through keeper error. We've had patas monkeys escape when a tree blew down into their exhibit. Any serious escapes you would certainly hear about on the news. It's impossible to hide that kind of thing.We do regular animal escape drills to make sure we are ready and know what to do if a dangerous animal ever got out.

 

[valence]

I grew up near the Milwaukee Zoo. Back in the '60's it was considered one of the state of the art zoo's in the Country. How about now?

haven't visited or heard anything about it. I'm sure it's a fine zoo as long as they have updated their animal areas since the 60s.

 

[valence]

Top 3 zoos you'd like to work at?How about 3 you've heard bad things about?

I'd like to work at a foreign zoo like the Irwin's in Australia. There's an elephant sanctuary in Thailand that I would love to visit and volunteer at one day. As far as US zoos I'd go with San Diego, Bronx, and Columbus There are lots of bad stories about zoos most of which aren't true or partially true. The SF zoo gets a ton of bad press, but it isn't nearly as bad as they make it out to be. Most of the really bad stories come from circuses or other roadside type zoos that are not AZA accredited. AZA guidelines are pretty strict. I'd be comfortable working in most AZA zoos.

Any thoughts on the Cincinnati Zoo? They bill themselves as the World's Sexiest Zoo

Both the Cincinnati and Columbus zoos would be in my top 10-15. Jack Hanna (as much as I hate the guy) does a lot of great work there.

 

[McJose]

I have 2 question

(blows out) my firend say that he get bit in teh face by a leopard but there was no mark there or nothing. he say that the leopard was very gentle and just touch he teeth to my friend cheek. is that like a customs that they have?

aslo does they have zoos for teh dogs.

stords

p and s does you knews a lady names bluejeans mctammy? she say she think she work in a zoo with you on ireland

unlikely about the leopard bite. I would question the integrity of your friend's story.zoo for dogs would be the pound. Some zoos use dogs as companion animals though. The cheetah at the San Diego zoo's education show lives with a golden retriever.

wow, that's strange!

Don't let Master of Orion know about this living arrangement.

 

[5Rings]

Thanks for a great thread. Hope you enjoyed your time on Sloat.

What is one thing you wish parents would teach their children about before visiting zoos?

 

[DevilsTrifecta]

This thread is awesome!