Can somebody call my gf and tell her I've been in (1 Viewer)

[Nigel Tufnel]

You should bang her mother.

 

[Czarcasm]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, yell "surprise" as she walks in the door.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

Exactly. She'll probably hate my guts, but I don't feel the relationship can be salvaged anyways. At first I wanted this to look like a prank to you guys, but I really just want to sting her....she's stung me plenty of times.

You are lowering the FFA IQ, please leave...

 

[Confucius]

Went through her internet options files.  Saw that she's been talking to a lot of males on her yahoo messenger.  I do have their screen name, most of them are local guys.  Saw that's she's visited an internet personals site.  Her sister is recently divorced and is dating like crazy...internet guys.  I'm not sure if her sister is rubbing off on her at this point.

So I confront her.  She denies at first and then plays dumb.  Then when I confront her with actual names and where they're from she tells me it was all abig prank and these are guys her sister is talking to.  I even pull up pictures of one dude who is a ranchhand and she stands over my shoulder saying...look how ugly he is...he looks like her ex-husband, all ugly. 

So we have a big argument.  I called her during lunch and she lied to me.  She went out to lunch with her friends and was leading me to believe she was at the college doing some work (she's taking summer courses). 

So I thought I would pay her back in an eveil way....after all it's just a prank (sarcastic).

Wow, where to being.First, if you mistrust your girlfriend enough to be looking through her internet and messenger history.... you probably shouldn't be with her. I mean, its all about trust, and by doing this you are throwing up a big red flag with the words "I don't trust her" written across it.

Second, no way I buy her explaination. If she wasn't cheating on you, she was fishing for opportunities or maybe looking to trade up.

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

I've got it! One of us calls her with "Ms. Soandso... I don't know how to tell you this, {dramatic pause} but Confucious has been in a car accident. I'm not going to lie.. but it's pretty bad."

Then another of FBG's co-workers says loud enough so your gf can hear "Doctor we're going to need you right away in the OR" to which the original conspirator tells your GF, "I'm sorry, I really must go. I'll call you again after surgery."

Then wait about 15 mins to really get her panicking (especially since no hospital name was given - it would help if there are a few in your area to add to the confusion). That's when you call your GF and tell her "Honey, I just wanted to let you know I'm OK....... oh and your #### will be waiting for you on the curb when you get home. We're through {click}" (Don't say "click", hang up the phone, brainiac)

This will give you all sorts of hand, and if she really wasn't planning on cheating on you, she'll do anything to convince you. If she really was looking for a new guy, you make the pre-emptive strike and come out on top. Win/Win scenario.

You, sir, are brilliant.

 

[yellowdog]

You live with this girl, but don't know her screen name? I'm calling on this one.

 

[Jaysus]

Yo Czarcasm, stop trying to kill the funny.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I guess discussing matters with her calmly and an amicable mutual dissolution of the relationship is not an option. Not that I'm judging you because personally I almost always opt for childish behavior over adult behavior.

 

[Confucius]

You live with this girl, but don't know her screen name? I'm calling on this one.

I do know her screen name to an e-mail account she uses for school. She could have others she's chatting under though. She has her own laptop so I dont use it much. I use my desktop.

 

[shuke]

I'd wait until you get actual proof cheating then break this prank out.

 

[Confucius]

I guess discussing matters with her calmly and an amicable mutual dissolution of the relationship is not an option. Not that I'm judging you because personally I almost always opt for childish behavior over adult behavior.

I've tried the adult approach many, many times. Doesn't work with her.

 

[BowlingBartenderCory]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, yell "surprise" as she walks in the door.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

Exactly. She'll probably hate my guts, but I don't feel the relationship can be salvaged anyways. At first I wanted this to look like a prank to you guys, but I really just want to sting her....she's stung me plenty of times.

sometimes you've just got to let that stuff go.Step up (sorry JB) and be confident and strong.

If it's not working for you, move on. The last laugh might not come years.

 

[Fla\/\/ed]

You live with this girl, but don't know her screen name? I'm calling on this one.

I do know her screen name to an e-mail account she uses for school. She could have others she's chatting under though. She has her own laptop so I dont use it much. I use my desktop.

You can't think of a creative reason to get her IM name because you need to chat with her about something while she is on her laptop?

 

[Ignoramus]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, yell "surprise" as she walks in the door.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

I was hoping for so much more.

 

[JAA]

Too much backstory

 

[redman]

4.5 pages

OVER

Recent developments in the story have moved the line to 6.5

I've still got the over.

 

[Confucius]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, yell "surprise" as she walks in the door.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

Exactly. She'll probably hate my guts, but I don't feel the relationship can be salvaged anyways. At first I wanted this to look like a prank to you guys, but I really just want to sting her....she's stung me plenty of times.

sometimes you've just got to let that stuff go.Step up (sorry JB) and be confident and strong.

If it's not working for you, move on. The last laugh might not come years.

Years? When do you really know when you get the last laugh?

 

[yellowdog]

You live with this girl, but don't know her screen name? I'm calling on this one.

I do know her screen name to an e-mail account she uses for school. She could have others she's chatting under though. She has her own laptop so I dont use it much. I use my desktop.

PM said screen name. I will do a little "undercover" work.

 

[Zalf]

So after all of these years we finally have our first "My GF/Wife is cheating on me and I want to get back at her by playing a prank." thread. I bet your idea for the big finish was to call her up and say "HAHA You've been PUNKED!" Ashton Kutcher is that you?

Didnt SNL already do this skit?

 

[GStrot]

I'd wait until you get actual proof cheating then break this prank out.

Or this.or this!

Hilarity ensues.

 

[Confucius]

Too much backstory

My cartoonish life is very real...unfortunately. :(

 

[(HULK)]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Seriously thinking about doing this. Problem is we live together. I wish i could just grab all my things and leave within the next hour. Obviously there is along history here of unhappiness you guys aren't aware of.

It definitely sounds like this should be over.You might not want to pack up today, but seriously looking around for apartments is a solid idea.

 

[Fla\/\/ed]

I guess discussing matters with her calmly and an amicable mutual dissolution of the relationship is not an option.  Not that I'm judging you because personally I almost always opt for childish behavior over adult behavior.

I've tried the adult approach many, many times. Doesn't work with her.

Then bring home another chick and ask your girlfriend for a Confucius sandwich.

 

[KnowledgeReignsSupreme]

Upon further review.

Time to move on. You don't trust her, and she's proven worthy of that mistrust. Stop wasting time trying to figure out how to play a prank and put that energy to use banging new chicks.

HTH

 

[Jaysus]

I'd wait until you get actual proof cheating then break this prank out.

that's too hi-tech... just get her pregnant.

 

[GStrot]

I've tried the adult approach many, many times.

Somehow I doubt this.

 

[redman]

and key log her machine.

How do I do this?

Explain EXACTLY what transpired this morning.

Went through her internet options files. Saw that she's been talking to a lot of males on her yahoo messenger. I do have their screen name, most of them are local guys. Saw that's she's visited an internet personals site. Her sister is recently divorced and is dating like crazy...internet guys. I'm not sure if her sister is rubbing off on her at this point.So I confront her. She denies at first and then plays dumb. Then when I confront her with actual names and where they're from she tells me it was all abig prank and these are guys her sister is talking to. I even pull up pictures of one dude who is a ranchhand and she stands over my shoulder saying...look how ugly he is...he looks like her ex-husband, all ugly.

So we have a big argument. I called her during lunch and she lied to me. She went out to lunch with her friends and was leading me to believe she was at the college doing some work (she's taking summer courses).

So I thought I would pay her back in an eveil way....after all it's just a prank (sarcastic).

I need to test your definition of prank to see if I understand it. Do you regard the 9/1/39 German invasion of Poland as a prank?

 

[KnowledgeReignsSupreme]

Odds on Confucius drinking/smoking himself into a frenzy and talking about the guns he has in the garage is set at 15:1.

 

[BowlingBartenderCory]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, yell "surprise" as she walks in the door.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

I was hoping for so much more.

hey I'm a bartender, not a rocket scientist...

 

[Wooderson]

that will do

 

[redman]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, jump out naked and yell "surprise" as she walks in the door with her new boyfriend.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

Now we're talking!

 

[IGKYA!!!]

You should bang her mother.

Didn't see that one coming.

 

[Ignoramus]

Odds on Confucius drinking/smoking himself into a frenzy and talking about the guns he has in the garage is set at 15:1.

LOCK UP THE ZINFANDEL!!!!

 

[redman]

Odds on Confucius drinking/smoking himself into a frenzy and talking about the guns he has in the garage is set at 15:1.

LOCK UP THE ZINFANDEL!!!!

I am NOT drinking a ####### merlot!

 

[Nigel Tufnel]

You should bang her mother.

Didn't see that one coming.

I took it too far, didn't I?

 

[Fla\/\/ed]

You should bang her mother.

Didn't see that one coming.

I took it too far, didn't I?

 

[Kirby]

Just key log the laptop and update this thread with what it logs each day.

 

[BowlingBartenderCory]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, yell "surprise" as she walks in the door.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

Exactly. She'll probably hate my guts, but I don't feel the relationship can be salvaged anyways. At first I wanted this to look like a prank to you guys, but I really just want to sting her....she's stung me plenty of times.

sometimes you've just got to let that stuff go.Step up (sorry JB) and be confident and strong.

If it's not working for you, move on. The last laugh might not come years.

Years? When do you really know when you get the last laugh?

doesn't matterKeep your life moving forwards. There's tons of women out there. Don't let this one drag you down.

Set yourself on a positive path. There's something defective about her, and unless she fixes that, the path she's on won't lead her to happiness.

 

[PC Load Letter]

and key log her machine.

How do I do this?

Explain EXACTLY what transpired this morning.

Went through her internet options files. Saw that she's been talking to a lot of males on her yahoo messenger. I do have their screen name, most of them are local guys. Saw that's she's visited an internet personals site. Her sister is recently divorced and is dating like crazy...internet guys. I'm not sure if her sister is rubbing off on her at this point.So I confront her. She denies at first and then plays dumb. Then when I confront her with actual names and where they're from she tells me it was all abig prank and these are guys her sister is talking to. I even pull up pictures of one dude who is a ranchhand and she stands over my shoulder saying...look how ugly he is...he looks like her ex-husband, all ugly.

So we have a big argument. I called her during lunch and she lied to me. She went out to lunch with her friends and was leading me to believe she was at the college doing some work (she's taking summer courses).

So I thought I would pay her back in an eveil way....after all it's just a prank (sarcastic).

I need to test your definition of prank to see if I understand it. Do you regard the 9/1/39 German invasion of Poland as a prank?

"Hey Poland... you've got something on your tie" {points}

{Poland looks down}

{Germany pokes Poland in the nose}

"Gotcha! Just kiddin', good buddy! Oh by the way, Heil Hitler!"

 

[Disco Stu]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, yell "surprise" as she walks in the door.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

Exactly. She'll probably hate my guts, but I don't feel the relationship can be salvaged anyways. At first I wanted this to look like a prank to you guys, but I really just want to sting her....she's stung me plenty of times.

sometimes you've just got to let that stuff go.Step up (sorry JB) and be confident and strong.

If it's not working for you, move on. The last laugh might not come years.

Years? When do you really know when you get the last laugh?

When you attend her funeral.

 

[KnowledgeReignsSupreme]

Just key log the laptop and update this thread with what it logs each day.

A+ suggestion here. Well done.As a side note, I helped a woman setup a keylogger once to check on her husband's "activities". He was doing all sorts of #### on the side.

 

[Confucius]

Just key log the laptop and update this thread with what it logs each day. 

A+ suggestion here. Well done.As a side note, I helped a woman setup a keylogger once to check on her husband's "activities". He was doing all sorts of #### on the side.

I'm on this. trying to get it setup this afternoon. Her laptop is here at home with me.

 

[Kirby]

Just key log the laptop and update this thread with what it logs each day. 

A+ suggestion here. Well done.As a side note, I helped a woman setup a keylogger once to check on her husband's "activities". He was doing all sorts of #### on the side.

I'm on this. trying to get it setup this afternoon. Her laptop is here at home with me.

Just be ready to find out something you don't want to really know... but post it here either way.

 

[Steve in Minneapolis]

Odds on Confucius drinking/smoking himself into a frenzy and talking about the guns he has in the garage is set at 15:1.

LOCK UP THE ZINFANDEL!!!!

I was so dissapointed when that thread got whacked.Maybe we could have J-Rod call his girlfriend...

 

[Confucius]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, yell "surprise" as she walks in the door.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

Exactly. She'll probably hate my guts, but I don't feel the relationship can be salvaged anyways. At first I wanted this to look like a prank to you guys, but I really just want to sting her....she's stung me plenty of times.

sometimes you've just got to let that stuff go.Step up (sorry JB) and be confident and strong.

If it's not working for you, move on. The last laugh might not come years.

Years? When do you really know when you get the last laugh?

doesn't matterKeep your life moving forwards. There's tons of women out there. Don't let this one drag you down.

Set yourself on a positive path. There's something defective about her, and unless she fixes that, the path she's on won't lead her to happiness.

Get this....I am moving next month to start medical school. This is really tearing me down at a time when I should be all excited to embark a new career path.

 

[Steve in Minneapolis]

In summation, your prank should be dumping her today.

Or sleeping with her sister.

Given more backstory, I'm liking more and more the idea of just faking his own death.When she shows up for calling hours, yell "surprise" as she walks in the door.

Sure he'll look like a tool, but at her reaction would be priceless.

Exactly. She'll probably hate my guts, but I don't feel the relationship can be salvaged anyways. At first I wanted this to look like a prank to you guys, but I really just want to sting her....she's stung me plenty of times.

sometimes you've just got to let that stuff go.Step up (sorry JB) and be confident and strong.

If it's not working for you, move on. The last laugh might not come years.

Years? When do you really know when you get the last laugh?

doesn't matterKeep your life moving forwards. There's tons of women out there. Don't let this one drag you down.

Set yourself on a positive path. There's something defective about her, and unless she fixes that, the path she's on won't lead her to happiness.

Get this....I am moving next month to start medical school. This is really tearing me down at a time when I should be all excited to embark a new career path.

Remind me to stay out of a Texas hospital...

 

[Confucius]

Just key log the laptop and update this thread with what it logs each day. 

A+ suggestion here. Well done.As a side note, I helped a woman setup a keylogger once to check on her husband's "activities". He was doing all sorts of #### on the side.

I'm on this. trying to get it setup this afternoon. Her laptop is here at home with me.

Just be ready to find out something you don't want to really know... but post it here either way.

I will....and I'd rather know no matter how much it hurts. She's plays the role of innocent angel, but if she's a snake I want to know.

 

[Ignoramus]

I need to test your definition of prank to see if I understand it.

Do you regard the 9/1/39 German invasion of Poland as a prank?

"Hey Poland... you've got something on your tie" {points}

{Poland looks down}

{Germany pokes Poland in the nose}

"Gotcha! Just kiddin', good buddy! Oh by the way, Heil Hitler!"

 

[Wooderson]

Make sure to use protection. Now is not the time for an "accident' to happen.

 

[Disco Stu]

Make sure to use protection. Now is not the time for an "accident' to happen.

True. However it is the perfect time to "accidently" go third input.

 

[Confucius]

Make sure to use protection. Now is not the time for an "accident' to happen.

I hear you. I doubt that will be necessaru though. Working on setting up the key logger, check back in a few minutes.

 

[redman]

How this board manages to get this many trainwrecks is beyond me, but that's why I always come back!