College Admissions Questions (2 Viewers)

[NewlyRetired]

WTF?  How much do you think a normal student actually pays?  I'm assuming they give tens of thousands in grants to just about every student. 

Also, does Trinity have one of those strict code of conduct policies that students have to sign at some religious schools?  Just curious if so if that factored into her decision making at all. 

I have no idea who gets what.  In terms of the full scholarship my daughter won, they said 12 of the 500+ incoming freshman are on this scholarship.  There are other grants that can be won as well.  I am unaware how well spread they are.

Trinity uses the CSS profiles like other schools do, to determine financial aid.   Someone posted earlier in the thread that the household income of the average Trinity student were in the top 5 in the nation compared to other colleges so I would guess quite a few kids are paying a ton of money.  

This was something we were going to have to decide on if she got in but did not win the scholarship since we would not have been eligible for any school aid.  The scholarship my daughter won was luckily only merit based and not need based.

Trinity is not a religious school in the way say Holy Cross, BC, Providence College and others are.  It was started in the 1800's by some religious founders like many schools but what ever affiliation there was I think is long gone.

There are no religion requirements in the curriculum like there are at other pure religious schools.

She did not sign a code of conduct that I am aware of but maybe there is something in fine print some where I missed.

 

[ffjunk]

So we found out that our health plan does not provide anything more than the bare basics for emergency services when the student is going to college out of state.

So it looks like we are going to have to get the schools SHIP program.

Anyone else running into this for health care for kids going to school out of your area of coverage?

I tried to warn you about health insurance back in October on pg. 5

We had to get coverage for my daughter or they were going to charge us $300- a month for the plan. To go to a PPO where you can basically go anywhere was $330- more a month but it covered our entire family so it was a no brainer for us. One of the colleges still charges a mandatory $800- insurance fee.

Moving forward, other "hidden" stuff to watch for will be dorm room damages more commonly referred to as extortion. I know if you put up pics on the walls, and they all do, they do not want nails, tacks etc. Try to use painters tape. Those Command stick things that you will see on commercials just before move in time didn't work too good and they pulled the paint off. When they see a "chip" in the paint, they will charge you to paint the entire wall and it will be ridiculously high $$. Check the color and buy a pint if you have to and touch it up yourself before they leave at the end of the year. Also, my son had a small ding on his hollow core door. They wanted to charge $450- for a new door. I had a nice discussion with the guy and it was reduced to $110-. God forbid if a college aged kid gets caught with alcohol. Huge fines and community service to the college. Some states can charge you with possession of alcohol if you are drunk because you possess it in your body. Stupid but true.

One of the good things to try to do is to see if you can pay the college bill with a points credit card. Most charge a fee to do it but we have one that doesn't so that's a plus for us.

 

[NewlyRetired]

I tried to warn you about health insurance back in October on pg. 5

our plan was good if she went to college in state but did not cover out of state.   The cost is not outrageous though for SHIP.

==============================

On an unrelated note, my wife found $120 line item in the bill that we were able to get rid of.  They automatically put a $120 tuition insurance on the bill in case something happens to student between the time you pay and the time you attend college.

 

[ffjunk]

My daughter has not received her room assignment yet.  She is hoping for an old fashioned double but I am hoping she gets a quad.  The quads in Trinity look great, each kid gets there own small bed room and then they share a large living space and bath room.  I also think with a quad she betters her chances of finding someone who likes her enough to engage with her.

What are you guys doing for fridges?  Are you renting on campus or purchasing before hand?

Fridges- we got the dorm sized ones. You can order online and have it shipped to the closest store near the college and get it there. Look into renting a storage spot and have their friends go in on it and keep most of the stuff there for the summer.

You will also get a bunch of care package plans. Way over priced. Pack up the stuff and send it yourselves. Grandparents love doing this so take advantage of it. Bedding- we actually did a package my wife found that gave most of the stuff needed. Again a bit pricey but we had 3 going at once and didn't have the time. They shipped right to the college.

We were pretty lucky with dorms. All were pretty good but sometimes the freshman get the older ones. We are now off campus and dealing with 3 different leases. Not fun but wont have to deal with room check bs.

 

[ffjunk]

our plan was good if she went to college in state but did not cover out of state.   The cost is not outrageous though for SHIP.

==============================

On an unrelated note, my wife found $120 line item in the bill that we were able to get rid of.  They automatically put a $120 tuition insurance on the bill in case something happens to student between the time you pay and the time you attend college.

I didn't really think of the insurance until they decided where to go. I thought we were going to get a ton of aid with 3 at once so I told the kids to go where they want. Big mistake that was.

 

[NewlyRetired]

I didn't really think of the insurance until they decided where to go. I thought we were going to get a ton of aid with 3 at once so I told the kids to go where they want. Big mistake that was.

From what I could tell, the insurance was not mandatory even though they put it on everyone's bill and force you to take it off if you want it off.

 

[ffjunk]

From what I could tell, the insurance was not mandatory even though they put it on everyone's bill and force you to take it off if you want it off.

Yes, only one was mandatory. Daughter is on a D1 team where it is also mandatory. If she wasn't then we wouldn't have to pay it either.

 

[Courtjester]

Trying to still work out the insurance side of things--it is $2,500 a year there, but we have her covered by Kaiser, which covers things for free (like her birth control shot , but the nearest Kaiser facility is 10 miles away and she doesn't have a car going up as a freshman. We can waive the $2,500 fee as long as we show proof of coverage.They have a student health center that will cover her needs, but I am trying to figure out how much the out of network cost is going to be for this shot. If she gets really, sick or injured, I can be there in 2 hours, but do we take this risk and waive it if she gets really sick in the middle of the night?

We bought her a little dorm fridge already and we are buying a printer for her. Now my rationale on this is sure she can print things at the student printing center, but I know my daughter, she is a night owl and will "want" to print at night. i don't want her wandering out to print things alone at dark. So we are doing an HP printer with the HP instant ink  program. We have it at home and it is amazing. We pay $5 a month and you get like 100 pages and anything above that is just $1 per 20 pages.   They are smart cartridges so the minute they report low, HP will Fedex a new one to you overnight for free. As a family who was spending $60 every other month on printer cartridges, this program is a bargain. When we were doing college aps and stuff, she went over big time on her page allowance and it cost  us a whole $14.00.  

 

[chet]

On the college tour train with my daughter this week. Colgate and Hamilton today and Cornell tomorrow.  Fun times.  

A friend's kid got into Stanford and I was amazed at how they baby the students there.  Incoming freshmen are told they are here to study and the administration makes life outside of academics as easy as possible.  For example, they are given a laundry bag and someone does it for them.  Personally, I think that's a disservice for the kids.  For many children, part of college is learning to do these things on their own.  

 

[Fishboy]

I tried to warn you about health insurance back in October on pg. 5

We had to get coverage for my daughter or they were going to charge us $300- a month for the plan. To go to a PPO where you can basically go anywhere was $330- more a month but it covered our entire family so it was a no brainer for us. One of the colleges still charges a mandatory $800- insurance fee.

Moving forward, other "hidden" stuff to watch for will be dorm room damages more commonly referred to as extortion. I know if you put up pics on the walls, and they all do, they do not want nails, tacks etc. Try to use painters tape. Those Command stick things that you will see on commercials just before move in time didn't work too good and they pulled the paint off. When they see a "chip" in the paint, they will charge you to paint the entire wall and it will be ridiculously high $$. Check the color and buy a pint if you have to and touch it up yourself before they leave at the end of the year. Also, my son had a small ding on his hollow core door. They wanted to charge $450- for a new door. I had a nice discussion with the guy and it was reduced to $110-. God forbid if a college aged kid gets caught with alcohol. Huge fines and community service to the college. Some states can charge you with possession of alcohol if you are drunk because you possess it in your body. Stupid but true.

One of the good things to try to do is to see if you can pay the college bill with a points credit card. Most charge a fee to do it but we have one that doesn't so that's a plus for us.

One of the few things to work in my favor going out of state.  My insurance is Blue Cross/Blue Shield.  Thankfully, they offer decent in network coverage nationwide.  Louisville does offer a medical plan @ $150/semester.  You go to the campus clinic.  They do try to bill your insurance provider.  Anything not covered by your insurance is then waived.  Prescriptions count against this as well.  Highly considering keeping this charge on the bill, as 1 visit/semester should pay for itself.  

 

[El Floppo]

On the college tour train with my daughter this week. Colgate and Hamilton today and Cornell tomorrow.  Fun times.  

A friend's kid got into Stanford and I was amazed at how they baby the students there.  Incoming freshmen are told they are here to study and the administration makes life outside of academics as easy as possible.  For example, they are given a laundry bag and someone does it for them.  Personally, I think that's a disservice for the kids.  For many children, part of college is learning to do these things on their own.  

wow- that's crazy... and somewhat new. my brother went to stanford and showed up at home every couple weeks with a giant bag of laundry. there was no babying back then. I agree- part of college is kids learning to lead adultish lives on their own... including cleaning and eating. 

amazing info in here- I'm a lifetime away from this (well- 8 years)... but impressed by all of it.

 

[The_Man]

On the college tour train with my daughter this week. Colgate and Hamilton today and Cornell tomorrow.  Fun times.  

A friend's kid got into Stanford and I was amazed at how they baby the students there.  Incoming freshmen are told they are here to study and the administration makes life outside of academics as easy as possible.  For example, they are given a laundry bag and someone does it for them.  Personally, I think that's a disservice for the kids.  For many children, part of college is learning to do these things on their own.  

The Stanford laundry thing isn't accurate. All washers and dryers on campus are free, and you can even get email notifications when a machine is available or your wash is done, but kids still have to do it themselves.

Hope you have a great week. I really enjoyed the time I spent with my son looking at schools. Timed it so we were able to grab a burger and (for me) a microbrew in every college town we visited across the northeast.

 

[NewlyRetired]

amazing info in here- I'm a lifetime away from this (well- 8 years)... but impressed by all of it.

you were in college 8 years ago?

 

[NewlyRetired]

 part of college is kids learning to lead adultish lives on their own... including cleaning and eating. 

this is the worst part for me as a parent.  

My daughter has the maturity level of a 12 year old, at best.  The schooling part is going to be no issue for her, every thing else has the ability to be a complete nightmare.

 

[El Floppo]

you were in college 8 years ago?

yes  

floppinho is 10. I've got 8 years before this plays out for me.

 

[The_Man]

Also, does Trinity have one of those strict code of conduct policies that students have to sign at some religious schools?  Just curious if so if that factored into her decision making at all. 

As someone who went to Trinity in its coke-fueled Preppy Handbook heyday, this makes me laugh. Trinity was founded by Episcopalians in the 1800s but has no religious affiliation. When i went there, it was the landing place for the kids from northeastern private (especially boarding) schools who had high SATs but who underachieved on their GPAs. In other words, a lot of rich, smart people who liked to party. They're definitely trying to change that - by recruiting smart, hardworking kids like Newly Retired's - but the code of conduct is still pretty loose, as I understand it

 

[NewlyRetired]

yes  

floppinho is 10. I've got 8 years before this plays out for me.

wow, I always pictured you as a little older when you talked about the being around the Colombia kids in the 80's.

 

[El Floppo]

wow, I always pictured you as a little older when you talked about the being around the Colombia kids in the 80's.

I look old for my age. or opposite. 

yes. I was in college in the 80s.

the 8 years referred to my son going to college in 8 years.

 

[The Dreaded Marco]

I'm headed out on another college touring trip with my daughter next week---Oberlin, Kenyon, Denison, Allegheny. This should be our last major tour. Hoping to convince her to look at my almamater as well as another couple west coast schools but I think she's set on going east like her sister.

Any input about these schools would be appreciated. 

 

[NewlyRetired]

How did you guys make out getting your kids off to college this year?

We spent a long day at Trinity last Thursday.  I was surprised at how formal the Convocation ceremony was.  I don't remember that back in my day.

My daughter seems to be adjusting ok so far.    Lots of orientation things to keep the freshman busy but I told her things will slow down once her real classes start on Tuesday.

Her room mate appears to be as socially awkward and introverted as my daughter so they at least have each other to stay with in the beginning.

Keeping my fingers crossed!

 

[Courtjester]

We got our girl moved in and she loves the place. She is just giddy with how great the college is, but unfortunately,  there were problems right off the bat with her room mate. It seems they have paired her with the direct opposite of my daughter--despite them filling out compatibility surveys. Some of the stuff is minor (she wants the room ice cold and my daughter would keep it at 80. The room mate doesn't clean up after herself--like she leaves globs of hair in the shower to the point it is now plugged and they had to put in a work order to the school) but the real problem is this girl insists on being in bed at 9:00 pm or before. My daughter has labs that run until 9:15 some nights and then she has stacks of homework to do. She will come in the room at 9:40 and turn on a desk lamp so she can see what she is doing and her room mate will go over and turn it off. This girl is a true undecided freshman, taking like 4 general ed classes. Our daughter is enrolled for 16 credit hours and once her scientific writing class is completed in October. she will already be classified as a Junior. She is taking Organic Chem, an advanced Biol class, another lab. a statistics class, you get the point. 

My daughter has been doing all  she can to keep this girl happy to include showering and then going down in the lobby of the dorm and blow drying her hair there as to not disturb this girl. She has showered in her boyfriend's room which is very uncomfortable for all involved because he has room mates. She has slept in his room when she knew she has to stay up late to finish homework (which makes her mom and I uncomfortable ). Well now his room mates have filed complaints with the RA about her being there. She has had several meetings with the floor RA and she seems to side with my daughter that a 9:00 bedtime just isn't feasible for college kids. Her room mate screwed herself when she said in her last meeting that she "wouldn't compromise sleep for education."  My daughter has already failed a test because she didn't get time to study because of this situation. 

So the newest idea this girl has is she wants to move her own bed into the kitchenette and install a shower curtain over the doorway so she won't hear my daughter come in from class and shower, but the catch is, she wants my daughter's workstation desk moved, which my daughter compromised day one to put in the kitchen because this girl didn't like it so close to this girl's desk. Further, the problem with where she wants my daughter to move the desk is it doesn't have access to the printer we bought for the room and is nowhere near the data ports. 

The RA has agreed to escalate it to the housing head and they have another meeting scheduled for Tuesday. The girl texted today and said she expected my daughter to have her desk moved so she can have her bed in the kitchen tomorrow. My daughter said no, I am not moving anything anymore--we will discuss this at the meeting. Just sucks so bad for her....

Oh, and the extraneous fluff thing my daughter wanted so badly to be part of was a sorority. They had the bids this weekend and the two she wanted so badly, didn't bid for her. They are both full of typical mean-girl, cheerleader types and I guess my daughter (even though she was the HS cheer captain) isn't good enough for them. Inside I am happy because it was over $2,100 in yearly dues to be part of these, but I am crushed for her because she thinks they didn't want her because there is something wrong with her and she is ugly. It is all we can do right now to get in the car and just do the 3 hour drive to be with her.

I just wish she could be a college student because she loves it there, but all this extra outside stuff is really wearing her down and I fear for what is coming. 

 

[El Floppo]

Holy hell... What a nightmare, cj.

Room mate sounds like an insufferable self involved jerk. 9:00?! I guess that's fine for my 6 and 10yos... but when is a college student supported to study, or lead a normal not 6yo's life? Slob stuff is more typical, but turning your daughter's desk light off and expecting the room to be only according to her wishes? Seriously rude.

I'd say to put in request asap to change roommates. 

 

[NewlyRetired]

Holy hell... What a nightmare, cj.. 

that sounds so awful!  There are always going to be some conflicts but this sounds really bad.  And in trying to fix it she is getting complaints from BF's side as well.

I know we are suppose to let kids start to figure these things out themselves but I would be hard pressed not to be sitting in someone's office trying to get this rectified, especially with the money involved.

 

[Steve Tasker]

< removed for space>

Sounds rough, but I am sure she will get through it.  It sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders.  I wouldn't worry too much about the failed test; once she settles her studying situation, she will be fine.

Roommates aren't permanent; I am sure that they will find accommodation for her somehow even if they have to move one of the two of them out.  Part of being a college student includes learning how to adapt and adjust to close-quarters living with new people; if the other girl can't stand to have a light on in the room while her roommate is studying, she should've requested her own room.  9 PM is a ridiculous bedtime for a college student and your daughter is right to not budge on this.  9 PM?  For a college freshman?

It could always be worse.  My wife's freshman year first semester random roommate was a STEM major who spent much of her time in their dorm room making synthetic recreational drugs (think knockoff homemade molly, for example), which is not only wildly illegal but a major health hazard for anyone living in the room.  They got along fine personally, but the school was able to get my wife out of there and across campus into a new room for the second semester.  There's always room on campus.  If I were your daughter, and if there's no way this is going to work out between them, I would probably try to push the other girl out and into a single room.  The worst part for your daughter would be for her to have to move across the campus and away from the people she's just met when she's just starting to develop new friendships, especially since it sounds like she's not the one at fault here.   Good luck.

 

[Courtjester]

Thanks for the encouraging words guys. Yeah, i don;t know how this is going to end up. This girl's family lives 20 minutes away, so not even sure why she is living at the college especially since she loves to sleep so much, She went and stayed with them the last couple of days, so that was a huge weight off of my daughter's shoulders. .

I have kind of warned my daughter that at the meeting tomorrow the only solution they may offer is for one of them to move. Normally that would be great, but the dorm they are in is the honors dorm with only 40 beds that you had to apply and be accepted in (and me paying more for of course). I told my daughter if they offer her a private room in one of the other halls, volunteer to take it and I would drive up and move her--this way at least she can control her fate. But if they are suggesting to move one of them into a multi-person room in one of the other halls, then I told my daughter to stand her ground because she is not the one requesting an accommodation. 

Oh and I meant to add this, the girl's sister, who is her identical twin, lives in the dorm room next to them. There is an extra bed in that room and they both share the same sleep schedule. Solution seems pretty obvious to me, but no, they refuse to live together and specifically requested not to be housed together.

 

[Fear The Turtle]

Thanks for the encouraging words guys. Yeah, i don;t know how this is going to end up. This girl's family lives 20 minutes away, so not even sure why she is living at the college especially since she loves to sleep so much, She went and stayed with them the last couple of days, so that was a huge weight off of my daughter's shoulders. .

I have kind of warned my daughter that at the meeting tomorrow the only solution they may offer is for one of them to move. Normally that would be great, but the dorm they are in is the honors dorm with only 40 beds that you had to apply and be accepted in (and me paying more for of course). I told my daughter if they offer her a private room in one of the other halls, volunteer to take it and I would drive up and move her--this way at least she can control her fate. But if they are suggesting to move one of them into a multi-person room in one of the other halls, then I told my daughter to stand her ground because she is not the one requesting an accommodation. 

Oh and I meant to add this, the girl's sister, who is her identical twin, lives in the dorm room next to them. There is an extra bed in that room and they both share the same sleep schedule. Solution seems pretty obvious to me, but no, they refuse to live together and specifically requested not to be housed together.

The woman who is responsible for housing at my daughter's school spoke at a parents' meeting and told us that she could guarantee compatibility in about 98% of the cases just on the basis of the answers to 7 or 8 key questions. The first two she mentioned were preferred times to go to sleep and to wake up. Either the housing dept. at your daughter's school is a complete amateur hour or someone was not forthcoming on her survey responses. If things don't go her way in the meeting tomorrow, perhaps she can ask how the other girl answered these key questions.  

 

[gameday]

How did you guys make out getting your kids off to college this year?

<snip>

Man, I'm so relieved.  My son had distanced himself from his friends in high school and he spent his Senior year mostly as a loner.  He was counting the days to move out of state and go to college at Colorado State.  

He's 2 weeks into it, and the start couldn't have been better.  His roommate is from CO and has introduced my son to many of his friends.  They are a great match and work out nearly every day.  In his 2 short weeks he's: 1) gone to a CSU volleyball game, 2) gone to the CSU football home opener in their new stadium, 3) gone to the 2nd CSU football game that was held in Mile High stadium, 3) went to a Rockies game, 4) went to his roommate's vacation home in Breckenridge for the holiday weekend and, while there, went to a concert and an auto race.

He tells me it's been a perfect start to the year.  I just hope it holds up.

 

[sbonomo]

We got our girl moved in and she loves the place. She is just giddy with how great the college is, but unfortunately,  there were problems right off the bat with her room mate. It seems they have paired her with the direct opposite of my daughter--despite them filling out compatibility surveys. Some of the stuff is minor (she wants the room ice cold and my daughter would keep it at 80. The room mate doesn't clean up after herself--like she leaves globs of hair in the shower to the point it is now plugged and they had to put in a work order to the school) but the real problem is this girl insists on being in bed at 9:00 pm or before. My daughter has labs that run until 9:15 some nights and then she has stacks of homework to do. She will come in the room at 9:40 and turn on a desk lamp so she can see what she is doing and her room mate will go over and turn it off. This girl is a true undecided freshman, taking like 4 general ed classes. Our daughter is enrolled for 16 credit hours and once her scientific writing class is completed in October. she will already be classified as a Junior. She is taking Organic Chem, an advanced Biol class, another lab. a statistics class, you get the point. 

My daughter has been doing all  she can to keep this girl happy to include showering and then going down in the lobby of the dorm and blow drying her hair there as to not disturb this girl. She has showered in her boyfriend's room which is very uncomfortable for all involved because he has room mates. She has slept in his room when she knew she has to stay up late to finish homework (which makes her mom and I uncomfortable ). Well now his room mates have filed complaints with the RA about her being there. She has had several meetings with the floor RA and she seems to side with my daughter that a 9:00 bedtime just isn't feasible for college kids. Her room mate screwed herself when she said in her last meeting that she "wouldn't compromise sleep for education."  My daughter has already failed a test because she didn't get time to study because of this situation. 

So the newest idea this girl has is she wants to move her own bed into the kitchenette and install a shower curtain over the doorway so she won't hear my daughter come in from class and shower, but the catch is, she wants my daughter's workstation desk moved, which my daughter compromised day one to put in the kitchen because this girl didn't like it so close to this girl's desk. Further, the problem with where she wants my daughter to move the desk is it doesn't have access to the printer we bought for the room and is nowhere near the data ports. 

The RA has agreed to escalate it to the housing head and they have another meeting scheduled for Tuesday. The girl texted today and said she expected my daughter to have her desk moved so she can have her bed in the kitchen tomorrow. My daughter said no, I am not moving anything anymore--we will discuss this at the meeting. Just sucks so bad for her....

Oh, and the extraneous fluff thing my daughter wanted so badly to be part of was a sorority. They had the bids this weekend and the two she wanted so badly, didn't bid for her. They are both full of typical mean-girl, cheerleader types and I guess my daughter (even though she was the HS cheer captain) isn't good enough for them. Inside I am happy because it was over $2,100 in yearly dues to be part of these, but I am crushed for her because she thinks they didn't want her because there is something wrong with her and she is ugly. It is all we can do right now to get in the car and just do the 3 hour drive to be with her.

I just wish she could be a college student because she loves it there, but all this extra outside stuff is really wearing her down and I fear for what is coming. 

Sounds like This is a perfect opportunity for her to start learning that life isn't easy, fair or conflict free.  I know it is early on in her life away from the parents so it will be tough to let her work on conflict resolution skills.  Good opportunity to coach her up and let her work through it.  Hope it gets better for her.

 

[Fishboy]

Move in at Louisville was August 11th.  If you were rushing for sorority, you moved in 1 week before the general masses.  Moving in when only ~400 other students were moving in is worth the price of the sorority itself.  Showed up curbside and literally had 10 girls there ready and willing to move my daughters stuff.  By the time I parked the truck, everything was already up on the 4th floor. 

Had everything pretty much in it's place by the time her roommate arrived around noon.  Tip for those going through this next year - try Roomsurf.com.  I think it's owned by Facebook.  Set up a profile and answer a questionnaire and it matches you with incoming students at your college.  I think we signed up back in February time frame.  There is a free and paid version.  The free version gets you basic info and you can then go offline on other social media and do some stalking from there.  The paid version ($20 I believe) gets you the ability to private message and see the full profile.  We paid, while the room mate did not, but they were still able to communicate via Instagram/Facebook, etc.  They actually communicated quite a bit while still in high school and up until move in day.  What a relief when we actually met her and her parents in person.  Remarkably, they are very similar and seemed to hit it off right off the bat.  They both rushed and are in the same sorority and are both in the nursing program.  The room mate is from KY, about 2 hours away and brought a car, so made it easier on my daughter since I didn't want her to bring a car from WI her freshman year. 

The school and the sorority has sooooo much for these kids to do to help them acclimate.  She claims that she really likes it.  Other than it being too hot in KY in August.  Bet she'll love it when she comes home for winter break leaving the 60-70 degree temps only to be under snow in WI. 

Can't believe how nice and modern these dorm rooms are.  The 2 of them have their suite, separated by a bathroom, with 2 adjoining suite-mates.  Their suite-mates seem much like the CourtJester situation and they couldn't be more opposite.  But they seemed to have already adjusted and all they are sharing is a shower/bathroom. 

2 weeks until the Clemson game.  Can't believe the ridiculous sports programs at Louisville.  My daughter who wasn't that interested in sports was all over the student tickets.  It was something like $200 for all football/basketball games.  Heck, they even had chartered buses that headed up to Indy for the Purdue game this past weekend.  $20 bucks or so for the bus ride and tickets to the game. 

All good so far.  The good bye though kind of sucked. Didn't think it would be , but man oh man. 

 

[belljr]

Sounds like a code red needs to be ordered

 

[Courtjester]

I don't know if anyone is interested in the update, but what has gone on in the past 12 days is so unbelievable, some of you would probably think I was making it up.

Where we left off was my daughter was having a meeting with the head of house scheduled for Monday at 4:00 pm (this time was told to her by her roommate). My daughter arrives and they say "Oh the meeting was at 3:00 didn't your roommate tell you that?" She purposefully told my daughter the wrong time. My daughter immediately demanded a new meeting which they did schedule.  At that meeting, the head of house just sat there and nodded her head and basically agreed with them both and told them they had one weekend to decide and there were only four options; my daughter move, the other girl move, they agree to stay together or if no agreement is reached, the school will move them both. They talked all weekend and my daughter did her best, but this girl was just stuck on my girl moving and nothing else would be discussed. My daughter even pointed out, as I mentioned above, her roommates twin sister is in the room right next to their's and there is an open bed in there, but she said she wouldn't agree to that.So the long and the short was my girl was told to be out of her room by 5:00 pm yesterday and they signed a contract agreeing to move. 

My wife and I have stayed out of this because she is 18 and needs to learn how to deal with the curves life throws you, but this was too much. So we drafted an email to the Director of Housing and attached an affidavit from my daughter of all the efforts she made to accommodate this girl. He called this Thursday and had a long conversation with my wife where he said (off the record) that he has had multiple run-ins with this girl and her mom and he believed my daughter was in the right here. We explained to him how important it was to our daughter to stay in the Honors dorm as it was something she worked so hard to obtain. He said he was putting her name at the top of the list to be moved back in (makes no sense--move her out so she can move back in  ) and he gave her $250.00 for her trouble to move. My wife left the conversation feeling good that this guy had our back.

Okay, not an optimum solution, but she was happy they were going to get her back into the program--she didn't care about the money.. My daughter spent hours Thursday and Friday moving (remember we took a full Tahoe and part of her boyfriend's car full of stuff up). She called me Friday morning in absolute tears at 1:00 am because her clothes rack she had everything on broke and all her clothes were strewn on the front yard of this new dorm--talk about a helpless situation as a dad. She texted me throughout the day saying It is weird my roommate is in no hurry to move--she is just taking her time, but my daughter got it all done by 5:00 pm yesterday. In the process she got a D on a Bio test because of all drama.

5:15 the phone rings and it is the always nodding head of household and she informs my daughter "Oh, your roommate came up with a really creative 5th option and she is moving in with her sister next door and staying in the honors program." Just unbelievable--that was the plan all along--purposefully not come to any agreement when given the 4 options knowing this would make them move my daughter out and then work behind the scenes with this girl to arrange her to stay. .

My daughter is in a regular dorm room with three girls now. She told me last night, she will not move back into the Honors Hall even if they offer it because she feels like they made an absolute fool of her. The biggest thing that eats at my wife and I is we trusted these people with our girl and they lied to us. I don't know what my next move is, but I am open to any suggestions. 

**on a positive note, at the last update I posted my daughter was crushed she didn't get a bid from any of the sororities, but that ended up changing the next day and multiple ones ended up bidding on her--so she is a Delta Zeta and is thrilled. Big deal. I know, but with all that has gone down, this is a small victory for her**

sorry for the length, 

 

[NewlyRetired]

I missed your update @Courtjesterthat is quite a story!  I am glad it seems like things worked out. Is your daughter happier now with her new roommates?

=================

How are everyone else's kids getting along?   

My daughter is going through mid terms right now.   She is doing very well in classes but as expected she is never leaving her room outside of classes so nothing to report on social growth.  She says the people are nice to her but she has no interest in trying to make any friends.

 

[NewlyRetired]

We are also starting the renewal of the FASFA forms.  They import everything from last year so it is even easier to fill out.  We are not going to bother with CSS this time around.

 

[The_Man]

My son is doing well. His roommate is OCD and a germ-phobe, not sure why they put him with my kid who checked "moderately messy" on his roommate questionnaire. This has the benefit of my son working extra hard to be far more organized and tidy than ever before, which is good for him, though it is still not remotely acceptable to his roommate. Oh well. 

Classes are going great. He lobbied his way into fourth-year Arabic after his year abroad in Morocco, and getting into that level also qualified him to take an Arab Lit seminar, which he is loving. Socially, it's been a little tough making friends, as he's not the typical freshman after his gap year, and 3 of his 4 classes are higher level with lots of juniors and seniors (who aren't looking to hang out with some freshman). But he loves the classes and after staying on campus for the first 3 weekends, we gave him the green light to spend as much time as he wants with his girlfriend (not that we could have stopped him anyway) who is less than an hour away by train in Boston. So they're getting together 2 weeks out of 3, on average, and that's made him a lot happier.

Seems like he's really coming into his own, especially now that he's over a little touch of "impostor syndrome" and now realizes he can do as well as anyone else there. 

 

[MindCrime]

I’ve been following this thread, even though my kids are only 8th and 5th grade. It’s interesting to see what the process is like anymore, and read the stories of how everyone’s kids are preparing for college. I didn’t want to hijack this thread so I started a new one, but if anyone has some insight into the International Baccalaureate program, could you help me out over here?  thx

 

[Sinn Fein]

  Bet she'll love it when she comes home for winter break leaving the 60-70 degree temps only to be under snow in WI. 

Just how far south do you think Kentucky is????

 

[Courtjester]

Well, my daughter has finally got to be a college student with all the drama behind her. Her new roommates are great (two are foreign exchanges students from China and Japan). The school has gone above and beyond to make everything right including throwing $500 spending cash into her account there.

She is finding out how tough college is when you take 16 credit hours right out the gate including Organic Chem and Bio 2. 

She loves her sorority, but man, is that a money pit. Her dues are $300+ a month right now (it will go down to like 150.00) . Not sure that is worth it, but it is her money and this is a good sorority vs the ones that constantly party and hang out with the football players.

Our girl is in college, but it is like she isn't. She probably texts us 25 times a day and then she Facetimes us every night. She came home earlier this month and plans to come home again this weekend so it is honestly like she never left. Luckily her boyfriend has a good car and I don't mind throwing the boy an extra $20 gas money when they come down so we can see her,

This whole process has been an eye-opener and we hope has prepared us for our 13 year old daughter. We are trying to take a chill pill and really are attempting to raise a non-stressed daughter.

It is so good to hear your kid's success stories. 

 

[Bruce Dickinson]

My son is doing well. His roommate is OCD and a germ-phobe, not sure why they put him with my kid who checked "moderately messy" on his roommate questionnaire. This has the benefit of my son working extra hard to be far more organized and tidy than ever before, which is good for him, though it is still not remotely acceptable to his roommate. Oh well. 

Classes are going great. He lobbied his way into fourth-year Arabic after his year abroad in Morocco, and getting into that level also qualified him to take an Arab Lit seminar, which he is loving. Socially, it's been a little tough making friends, as he's not the typical freshman after his gap year, and 3 of his 4 classes are higher level with lots of juniors and seniors (who aren't looking to hang out with some freshman). But he loves the classes and after staying on campus for the first 3 weekends, we gave him the green light to spend as much time as he wants with his girlfriend (not that we could have stopped him anyway) who is less than an hour away by train in Boston. So they're getting together 2 weeks out of 3, on average, and that's made him a lot happier.

Seems like he's really coming into his own, especially now that he's over a little touch of "impostor syndrome" and now realizes he can do as well as anyone else there. 

Did you happen to post about the decision-making process behind taking a gap year and what your son did during it?  I’m open to a gap year for my daughter and want to learn more from families who considered one.

 

[Instinctive]

@Courtjester FWIW, my only real semi-regret* of freshman year was living in the honors dorm. Feel like I was a year behind on a lot of more normal life experiences due to basically living with the weirdest, highest maintenance, bookiest people.

*I did meet a girl who I would date 4 years later, propose to 7 years later, and will marry next year.

 

[Fishboy]

Just how far south do you think Kentucky is????

Well looking at actual temperatures for 2017, 8 days were 60 or higher in Louisville for January. While the high in Milwaukee was 30 degrees or less 9 days.  And we had a very mild January.

I don't think KY is tropical, but relative to the crap winters in WI, they're a piece of cake. 

 

[The_Man]

Did you happen to post about the decision-making process behind taking a gap year and what your son did during it?  I’m open to a gap year for my daughter and want to learn more from families who considered one.

My son received a National Security Language Initiative (NSLI-Y) scholarship from the State Department to spend the year learning Arabic in Morocco. He was named an alternate in spring and got bumped up to accepted in early June. He had about 2 weeks to make up his mind, but it was a pretty easy decision and his college was very cool about letting him defer enrollment for a year - as long as he promised not to apply anywhere else during his gap year. It was hard to leave his girlfriend behind (and, oh yeah, his family too) but a full-ride scholarship for a year was hard to pass up. His only regret during the year was that he sometimes felt like he was falling behind his friends who were now experiencing college, while he was in a dry country, and not really being a college guy yet. But by the end of the year, most of the guys had partied too much, hadn't done great in school, and hadn't really changed much from who they were in high school. Whereas the experience of living abroad in another language, on his own, really matured him, and the intensive language learning environment  got him excited for higher level academic work.

He's killing it academically now as a freshman, but I do wish he had found his "squad" at college, which so far hasn't been the case - in part, because he's not the typical freshman at this point and partly because he's a pretty reserved person. So overall, I highly recommend a gap year, with the caveat that it include something meaningful to do - and if that something can be somewhat academic, even better.

 

[NewlyRetired]

Reminder for those that want to use their 2016 taxes for financial aid, the FAFSA forms are open now and if you fill them out before the end of the year they will default to the 2016 tax year.

 

[NewlyRetired]

I asked my daughter the other day what she thought about the mix of students in classes compared to high school in terms of intelligence.

She said it seemed about the same (a bunch of good students and a couple of strugglers) but then she said "well the big difference is that the boys actually seem to be paying attention now"

 

[The_Man]

I asked my daughter the other day what she thought about the mix of students in classes compared to high school in terms of intelligence.

She said it seemed about the same (a bunch of good students and a couple of strugglers) but then she said "well the big difference is that the boys actually seem to be paying attention now"

Wow, sounds like Trinity has changed since I went there.  

 

[Fishboy]

Reminder for those that want to use their 2016 taxes for financial aid, the FAFSA forms are open now and if you fill them out before the end of the year they will default to the 2016 tax year.

UGH - time to fill those out again, only to qualify for nothing. 

With a college Freshman and a HS junior, only about 6 more years of this stuff. 

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

UGH - time to fill those out again, only to qualify for nothing. 

With a college Freshman and a HS junior, only about 6 more years of this stuff. 

If you elect not to fill them out, can your kid still take a federal loan or is that a prerequisite?

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

Reminder for those that want to use their 2016 taxes for financial aid, the FAFSA forms are open now and if you fill them out before the end of the year they will default to the 2016 tax year.

If you file after the first of the year, what do they use?

 

[NewlyRetired]

If you file after the first of the year, what do they use?

I think you need to use your 2017 tax data.

 

[NewlyRetired]

UGH - time to fill those out again, only to qualify for nothing. 

With a college Freshman and a HS junior, only about 6 more years of this stuff. 

We are only filling out the Fasfa, I am not bothering with the CSS Profile again.

The good news is that the Fafsa imports from last year so it only takes a couple of minutes to complete.

 

[Fishboy]

We are only filling out the Fasfa, I am not bothering with the CSS Profile again.

The good news is that the Fafsa imports from last year so it only takes a couple of minutes to complete.

Not too bad.  Took about 12 minutes.  Even though it said it imported the parent information from the IRS website, I still needed to enter my wife and my W2 info. 

All to qualify for the student loan, which seems to be bumped to $6500.