Do you believe in the American Dream? (1 Viewer)

[urbanhack]

Christo a lot of what you say is spot on, but in NO way are rising divorce rates a good thing.

Of course they are. It is not healthy for people to stay in marriages that they don't want to be in.

His statement was simplistic; your answer even more so. It all depends on what's causing the divorces. If people are generally unhappy and made an error getting married in the first place, that's one thing. If it's a result of economic stress due to a worsening economy, that's quite another. And in most cases where there are young children, divorce is going to have negative connotations.

Huh?? If you are getting divorced, this is not the reason. It's a sign something else is wrong with the relationship.

 

[mr roboto]

I would think a higher divorce rate may mean greater freedom to get out of a dysfunctional marriage, or a decrease in people's ability to couple effectively, or a decrease in societal norms regarding commitment, or lots of things.

What causes me to think its a net negative is that often you have children who get hurt in the process. I think it's, on average, better for a couple to stay married if they have children and try to work things out. The rising acceptance of divorce culturally causes some to forgo the hard work necessary to rebuilding the marriage.

Obligatory caveat so people don't get butthurt: yes, sometimes divorce is inevitable, including abuse, neglect, significant negative influence on spouse and kids...

Back on topic, the 'American Dream' of the 50's was wrapped around a nuclear family. Now it's more about achieving individual goals and self-actualization.

 

[jonessed]

Christo a lot of what you say is spot on, but in NO way are rising divorce rates a good thing.

Of course they are. It is not healthy for people to stay in marriages that they don't want to be in.

His statement was simplistic; your answer even more so. It all depends on what's causing the divorces. If people are generally unhappy and made an error getting married in the first place, that's one thing. If it's a result of economic stress due to a worsening economy, that's quite another. And in most cases where there are young children, divorce is going to have negative connotations.

Huh?? If you are getting divorced, this is not the reason. It's a sign something else is wrong with the relationship.

It's top 3 on just about every survey. Why do you think finances don't impact relationships?

 

[roadkill1292]

Money, sex and in-laws are usually the most important reasons behind divorces. A lot of marriages are only saved by the grace of owning a second television.

 

[mr roboto]

Money, sex and in-laws are usually the most important reasons behind divorces. A lot of marriages are only saved by the grace of owning a second television.

What if you pay money to your in laws for sex?

 

[Ilov80s]

I posted this in another thread, but with the American Dream/divorce rate talk, it fits here:

This is most well behaved generation of teenagers on record.

http://www.vox.com/2014/5/25/5748178/todays-teenagers-are-the-best-behaved-generation-on-record

 

[roadkill1292]

I posted this in another thread, but with the American Dream/divorce rate talk, it fits here:

This is most well behaved generation of teenagers on record.

http://www.vox.com/2014/5/25/5748178/todays-teenagers-are-the-best-behaved-generation-on-record

Anecdotally (I work for a small university) I concur with this assessment. This generation may have its idiosyncracies by our metrics but they're nothing like the animals I grew up with (and was one of).

 

[Jayrod]

I posted this in another thread, but with the American Dream/divorce rate talk, it fits here:

This is most well behaved generation of teenagers on record.

http://www.vox.com/2014/5/25/5748178/todays-teenagers-are-the-best-behaved-generation-on-record

Probably true, but the teen birth rate is very likely skewed by the plummeting number of married teens. In the 50's lots of women got married and had babies at 18 and 19. Now its very, very low.

 

[Jayrod]

Christo a lot of what you say is spot on, but in NO way are rising divorce rates a good thing.

Of course they are. It is not healthy for people to stay in marriages that they don't want to be in.

His statement was simplistic; your answer even more so. It all depends on what's causing the divorces. If people are generally unhappy and made an error getting married in the first place, that's one thing. If it's a result of economic stress due to a worsening economy, that's quite another. And in most cases where there are young children, divorce is going to have negative connotations.

If people are getting divorced it is because of unmet expectations, failed relationships, etc. There are not "good" reasons to get a divorce. There are logical reasons, reasons why it is better to be divorced than married, but the failure of a marriage is never a good thing.

I believe Christo and I are saying 2 different things. What I'm saying is that a failed marriage is a bad thing always. I believe he is saying that it is better to be divorced from a failed marriage than to still be in a failed marriage, which is a good thing in his opinion.

But once there are kids involved, the threshold for what warrants a reasonable divorce goes way up, IMO. You want to know the top reason for struggling schools in the US? It is a failure of parenting, predominately divorced parents where the child is punished because their parents can't stay together. My wife is a teacher and every single kid who causes serious trouble in school comes from a divorced or single parent home.

While hardly a hard and fast rule, the majority of divorced people are selfish people which is why they can't stay married and which is why a large % of divorcees are divorced 2x's or more.

 

[Christo]

Christo a lot of what you say is spot on, but in NO way are rising divorce rates a good thing.

Of course they are. It is not healthy for people to stay in marriages that they don't want to be in.

His statement was simplistic; your answer even more so. It all depends on what's causing the divorces. If people are generally unhappy and made an error getting married in the first place, that's one thing. If it's a result of economic stress due to a worsening economy, that's quite another. And in most cases where there are young children, divorce is going to have negative connotations.

Huh?? If you are getting divorced, this is not the reason. It's a sign something else is wrong with the relationship.

It's top 3 on just about every survey. Why do you think finances don't impact relationships?

Read the entire statement.

 

[johnnycakes]

In a word - Yes

I was a plumber's son...

DD, this has stuck in my head for a couple of days, now. I get what you are saying. And I respect your opinion. That's why I waited until I thought about this for a a bit.

But you are living your father's dream, not your dream. What do you think the chances are for your children to continue the cycle of upward mobility? I think that's a more accurate gauge of how one feels about "the dream", because dreams are in the future. That's why you aren't living your dream, but your father's dream. You are living your reality. What is your dream for your kids, and do you think they will be able to live it?

 

[DocHolliday]

With Em back, the dream is still alive.

 

[lod01]

Kinda hard to given the dominance of corporate America and our ridiculously dysfunctional government. Remove those obstacles and sky's the limit.

Isn't corporate America a part of the dream, though? As in, you too can become a vice-president in a large corporation if you work hard enough, suck up hard enough and stab enough people in the back, you'll become rich if you do.

Let me fix that for you for most of corporate America.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

American Dream? I don't even believe in wet dreams anymore.

 

[TwinTurbo]

The dream is alive and well. You just have to be good at something and be willing to relocate. The internet, social media, and mobile computing have also opened up many new opportunities for those who are willing to think big and take a few risks.

 

[Eminence]

The dream is alive and well. You just have to be good at something and be willing to relocate. The internet, social media, and mobile computing have also opened up many new opportunities for those who are willing to think big and take a few risks.

What a baller.

 

[Gopher State]

I WORKED hard invested well, and my dream is alive and well, the problem is people live for today rather then the future. I have all the toys I have always wanted because of my hard work. Yes the dream is alive

 

[sublimeone]

Most people aren't pursuing the American dream because you don't have to to enjoy a very comfortable lifestyle. Our grandparent were working to give our parents a chance to attend college. Nowadays any nitwit can go.

 

[Gachi]

If you're a straight, white male it's very attainable.

For anybody different it's gonna be more difficult.

But to answer the question, yes I believe in the American dream. It's changed over the years, but I still believe in it.