Dying raccoon in my garbage can -- what to do? (1 Viewer)

[Otis]

Went to take the garbage out tonight, dropped it in the can, as the heavy bag of trash was falling I noticed a furball below it. Knew instantly it must be a raccoon, they're getting into our trash all the time. I pulled out the trash just to see if I could figure out what happened, and it looks like he's still breathing lightly/slowly. No idea if he got stuck in there last night and was too small to tip the can over with weight and get himself out, so he just baked in there, or what. But if he's still breathing, I wonder if I should tip the can over and dump him out? Or maybe he's sick and this will be the start of one of those movies with the crazy new virus strain that infects half the free world?

Not sure what to do here, wife and I both feeling bad about it. Called animal control twice, nothing from them.

Thoughts?

 

[Otis]

I also wondered if maybe he's just sleeping heavily, as that's sort of what it looks like, but no way did he sleep through dropping that trash on him, and he sort of curled up into a ball a little after I pulled the trash bag out.

 

[Chemical X]

dump him out, pay it forward. is he wearing a mask?

 

[McGarnicle]

Fill up the can with water.

 

[Dan Gladden's Mustache]

BAAAARRRR BEEEEEEE QQQQQQQ

 

[Otis]

Fill up the can with water.

Seriously?

Honestly wondering if I need to put him out of his misery somehow. If I were some hillbilly I'd have a gun and could Ole Yeller him into pest heaven.

 

[Politician Spock]

If you were in the south, you'd pan fry it.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Fill up the can with water.

Seriously?

Honestly wondering if I need to put him out of his misery somehow. If I were some hillbilly I'd have a gun and could Ole Yeller him into pest heaven.

I think that's why he suggested filling the can up with water.

 

[bcat01]

Fill up the can with water.

 

[shadyridr]

Sounds like hes dying in the perfect spot

 

[McGarnicle]

Yeah since I'm an overalls-wearing hick down here in GA, I'd just break out ol' Bertha and blow its head clean off. For an effete city slicker like you, I'd go with the drowning. Be sure to call the ACLU first or whatever the hell you people do.

 

[BustedKnuckles]

i like this idea

 

[shadyridr]

Give him a gun and pretend hes rocket raccoon!

 

[Otis]

Fill up the can with water.

Seriously?

Honestly wondering if I need to put him out of his misery somehow. If I were some hillbilly I'd have a gun and could Ole Yeller him into pest heaven.

I think that's why he suggested filling the can up with water.

Just couldn't tell whether he's shticking or not. The line between sick and humane is thin.

 

[Fennis]

bring it in the house, and raise it as human

 

[Otis]

Sounds like hes dying in the perfect spot

That was my reaction initially. Just bring the trash cans out on Friday and let the garbage men take him away.

 

[Widbil83]

Just reach in and grab him you'll be fine.

 

[McGarnicle]

It's a nuisance animal like a rat or a cockroach. You're doing the community a favor.

 

[Otis]

It's a nuisance animal like a rat or a cockroach. You're doing the community a favor.

I've been battling these guys for years. I still feel bad. This isn't how I wanted to win.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Fill up the can with water.

Seriously?

Honestly wondering if I need to put him out of his misery somehow. If I were some hillbilly I'd have a gun and could Ole Yeller him into pest heaven.

I think that's why he suggested filling the can up with water.

Just couldn't tell whether he's shticking or not. The line between sick and humane is thin.

Obviously shooting it would put it out of its misery quickly yet you don't have a gun (too bad you broke up with that Mormon chick or whatever that took you shooting in Mayberry that one time). Drowning it sounds terrible...not sure if I could do it...but it will probably be quicker than it just suffering away in your garbage can.

 

[Sarnoff]

Fill up the can with water.

 

[Otis]

Fill up the can with water.

Seriously?

Honestly wondering if I need to put him out of his misery somehow. If I were some hillbilly I'd have a gun and could Ole Yeller him into pest heaven.

I think that's why he suggested filling the can up with water.

Just couldn't tell whether he's shticking or not. The line between sick and humane is thin.

Obviously shooting it would put it out of its misery quickly yet you don't have a gun (too bad you broke up with that Mormon chick or whatever that took you shooting in Mayberry that one time). Drowning it sounds terrible...not sure if I could do it...but it will probably be quicker than it just suffering away in your garbage can.

Honestly don't think I can do it.

 

[Osaurus]

Appease him/her with many peanuts

 

[McGarnicle]

Drowning may be a bit cruel. Try duct taping a good sharp butcher knife to the end of a broom stick, then simply jab at the thing until it stops screaming.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Fill up the can with water.

Seriously?

Honestly wondering if I need to put him out of his misery somehow. If I were some hillbilly I'd have a gun and could Ole Yeller him into pest heaven.

I think that's why he suggested filling the can up with water.

Just couldn't tell whether he's shticking or not. The line between sick and humane is thin.

Obviously shooting it would put it out of its misery quickly yet you don't have a gun (too bad you broke up with that Mormon chick or whatever that took you shooting in Mayberry that one time). Drowning it sounds terrible...not sure if I could do it...but it will probably be quicker than it just suffering away in your garbage can.

Honestly don't think I can do it.

Drag the can out to the driveway. Stick one end of a hose in the tailpipe of your car. Stick the other end in the can with the lid on it (maybe use some duct tape or something to provide a better seal). Turn the car on.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Drowning may be a bit cruel. Try duct taping a good sharp butcher knife to the end of a broom stick, then simply jab at the thing until it stops screaming.

JFC

 

[Sarnoff]

It's a nuisance animal like a rat or a cockroach. You're doing the community a favor.

I've been battling these guys for years. I still feel bad. This isn't how I wanted to win.

Told you before, this is the way to go

 

[RC94]

Call animal control?

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Have sex with his wife

 

[Politician Spock]

Fill up the can with water.

Seriously?

Honestly wondering if I need to put him out of his misery somehow. If I were some hillbilly I'd have a gun and could Ole Yeller him into pest heaven.

I think that's why he suggested filling the can up with water.

Just couldn't tell whether he's shticking or not. The line between sick and humane is thin.

Obviously shooting it would put it out of its misery quickly yet you don't have a gun (too bad you broke up with that Mormon chick or whatever that took you shooting in Mayberry that one time). Drowning it sounds terrible...not sure if I could do it...but it will probably be quicker than it just suffering away in your garbage can.

Honestly don't think I can do it.

Just imagine you're boiling fresh lobster.

 

[dgreen]

Be sure to call the ACLU first or whatever the hell you people do.

 

[dgreen]

I had to put a mouse out its misery once with a rock. The mouse trap in our house didn't kill him and only got his leg. So I scooped him into a box, took him outside, and dropped a big rock on him. The first drop didn't so the job, so I had to bash him a few times.

I guess you'd need a pretty big rock for a raccoon. Maybe bash it with a shovel?

 

[Politician Spock]

I had to put a mouse out its misery once with a rock. The mouse trap in our house didn't kill him and only got his leg. So I scooped him into a box, took him outside, and dropped a big rock on him. The first drop didn't so the job, so I had to bash him a few times.

I guess you'd need a pretty big rock for a raccoon. Maybe bash it with a shovel?

You have to be more specific with Otis. You just created the risk of a racoon being beaten by a snow shovel.

 

[Otis]

Call animal control?

Great idea.

 

[Otis]

He's barely breathing now, and you have to look carefully to even notice. Doesn't even move when I drag the garbage can around.

I dragged the can out to the curb and left it there. Animal Control and the Friday morning garbage pickup can race for it.

 

[belljr]

Drown that #####

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

He's barely breathing now, and you have to look carefully to even notice. Doesn't even move when I drag the garbage can around.

I dragged the can out to the curb and left it there. Animal Control and the Friday morning garbage pickup can race for it.

LINK

 

[Ignoramus]

For $1800 I know a guy that can come take care of it for you.

 

[msommer]

It's already in the trash. Leave it

 

[Das Boot]

I hope the drowning suggestions are schtick, that's not a humane way to put an animal down.

 

[dgreen]

Metal trash can, lighter fluid, match.

 

[CurlyNight]

Fill up the can with water.

Drowning is not humane....

 

[Das Boot]

Call Winston Wolf, he solves problems.

If you can't reach Winston, PM Shuke for a list of possible actions to choose from.

 

[CurlyNight]

He's barely breathing now, and you have to look carefully to even notice. Doesn't even move when I drag the garbage can around.

I dragged the can out to the curb and left it there. Animal Control and the Friday morning garbage pickup can race for it.

That's best to leave him there if you don't feel comfortable putting him out of his misery very quick so there is no more suffering. At least in there he won't get eaten by prey.

 

[Uwe Blab]

Just put those enormous mitts to work and snap its neck. If it eeks you out to much just imagine you are Jack Bauer and that varmint know the launch codes. "WHO DO YOU WORK FOR!!!1!"

 

[BustedKnuckles]

I hope you have an autopsy performed ...im sure we all would love to know what it died from

 

[sublimeone]

The maintenance guy at the factory I worked at in high school used to catch raccoons in a humane trap and then submerge the entire trap in a 55 gallon drum of water. At the time it seemed a lot more humane than what the Mexicans were suggesting.

 

[CurlyNight]

The maintenance guy at the factory I worked at in high school used to catch raccoons in a humane trap and then submerge the entire trap in a 55 gallon drum of water. At the time it seemed a lot more humane than what the Mexicans were suggesting.

Exactly how is drowning a living thing humane?? It's no different that you drowning as far as the experience... would you like to go that way?

 

[sublimeone]

The maintenance guy at the factory I worked at in high school used to catch raccoons in a humane trap and then submerge the entire trap in a 55 gallon drum of water. At the time it seemed a lot more humane than what the Mexicans were suggesting.

Exactly how is drowning a living thing humane?? It's no different that you drowning as far as the experience... would you like to go that way?

What's my alternative? Dehydrating to death in some d-bags garbage can? I think I'd opt for the drink.

 

[proninja]

I hope the drowning suggestions are schtick, that's not a humane way to put an animal down.

Fill up the can with water.

Drowning is not humane....

The maintenance guy at the factory I worked at in high school used to catch raccoons in a humane trap and then submerge the entire trap in a 55 gallon drum of water. At the time it seemed a lot more humane than what the Mexicans were suggesting.

Exactly how is drowning a living thing humane?? It's no different that you drowning as far as the experience... would you like to go that way?

That's how animal control recommends taking care of racoons where I'm from. They say it's the most humane way to kill them.