Fear (5 Viewers)

[Northern Voice]

I think it's underlying so many conversations here and I think it should be able to be discussed without any political context.

What are you afraid of? What are you not afraid of? How have your fears changed over the years?

 

[Hastur]

I encourage everyone to read the following book about personal bias, spotting blind spots, and basic critical thinking skills in general before responding to the original poster.

"Thinking: Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman

 

[Max Power]

Aging and finances are my two biggest fears right now. Im 43 and starting to feel my body slow down on me. I do a decent job focusing on longevity, but I have some adjustments to make. Im fearful for what healthcare will look like in 20 years.

Pre covid my finances looked good. I probably have 20 more years of earnings before I retire, but long term financial stability is on my mind. I commented in another thread how my father in law retired 5 years ago and basically inflation turned a good retirement plan into a bad one.

I have 4 teenagers about to hit the real world in the next 4 years and I'm fearful for them. Its going to be tough for them to get on their feet, so I'm half expecting to foot some of their bills for the near future.

Maybe more a fear of the unknown. I feel like I'm doing everything right, but I'm not as comfortable thinking about the future as I once was.

 

[HellToupee]

Disappointed that this is a more cerebral thread . I was expecting Lee Ving talk

 

[Northern Voice]

I think fear of change is a big one for a lot of people, myself included to a degree. My dad hated change and I see that in my older brother. As we come up to holidays, he really wants things to be as they always have been to the point it causes issues in the family if people want to do things differently.

I'm not quite as entrenched as that but I have lived in basically only two houses my entire life (the one I grew up in until my early 20s and the one I moved into when I got married), so I suppose I get pretty set it my ways as well.

 

[Northern Voice]

Disappointed that this is a more cerebral thread . I was expecting Lee Ving talk

Good with that too.

 

[Northern Voice]

I encourage everyone to read the following book about personal bias, spotting blind spots, and basic critical thinking skills in general before responding to the original poster.

"Thinking: Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman

I'm also afraid of birds, will the book help? They can fly, it's not fair.

 

[Scoresman]

The usual health/finances. Also the economy. I'm fearful of having to enter this horrific job market anytime soon.

I used to be more fearful we were headed towards full on authoritarianism. But with recent news, that is looking less likely. But who knows. That's probably as far as we can take that topic.

 

[KarmaPolice]

Fears:

AI
Dying alone/of a long death
Clowns
Outliving my kids

 

[ChicoCat]

All I know is that it doesn't exist in certain Dojos.

 

[ChicoCat]

I imagine the thing that bothers me most is that at times I feel like Quint in Jaws where he's telling the story about being stuck in the water after the torpedoing of the Indianapolis; that he really became most terrified when the plane came and they started pulling people out of the water; that he was going to get eaten right before he was saved.

I'm approaching retirement with a pension; although I probably will still have to work at least part time for awhile. My mortgage is paid off by this Feb. I have one kid entering college fully paid whose has goals to go into medicine, I have one at one of the best schools in my state who is wicked smart but a little socially awkward. I have a wife who likes sex and Viagra if I need it. I feel like I'm getting ready to enter a pretty "golden" era of semi-responsible late adulthood....and I'm just worried that a shark is going to get me right when I'm getting pulled out of the water.

 

[foxco]

If I had to guess right now I think in there's at least a reasonable probability in the next 30-50 years there will be a few billion less people on Earth.

 

[Quint]

irrational fear: clowns, people in costumes or with painted faces

rational fear: receiving a dementia/Alzheimer's diagnosis, not being able to care for myself

 

[Kanil]

When I was young, it was the normal things: Heights, spiders, dark, rejection, etc...

In my 20s/30s it was: career progress, money, bills

Now it's unkowns around KanilJrs (14yo) progress through life: He appears to be happy, but is he? Will he be a happy adult? Is he doing well enough in school to get into the college he wants to get into? He seems fairly set on a career path but is what he wants to do at 14 going to be what he wants to do at 44? How is his social life going? He was extremely anxious when he was younger but seems to have settled down quite a bit as he's gotten older (and some therapy), but is he just hiding it better?

 

[dkp993]

Disappointed that this is a more cerebral thread . I was expecting Lee Ving talk

I was expecting talk about the movie Fear with Mark Walberg and elite Alyssa Milano.

 

[Gally]

I get the hee-bee-jee-bees when swimming in the ocean at night. Really any large body of water. It's not a fear necessarily just an excited-anxious feeling.

Other than that I really don't have fears that I know of.

 

[dkp993]

rational fear: receiving a dementia/Alzheimer's diagnosis, not being able to care for myself

Bar none my biggest fear (maybe pair this with a stroke that takes my mental facilities). While I have no family history of it, the thought of losing my mental capacity is absolutely terrifying for me.

On the irrational side: some kind of societal breakdown (world wide catastrophe type thing). While I know this is unlikely in my lifetime I do feel a small constant tug to be a bit of a “prep’er”. I haven’t fully succumb to the urge yet, but I do find myself looking at generators or solar backup battery packs on the regular.

 

[Judge Smails]

1) Health. Have been thrown 2 big curveballs the last 5 years. Health is wealth. This includes fear of getting one of the terrible illnesses later in life and becoming a burden to my family
2) My kid’s/grandkids prosperity. Much tougher than we had it. I’m greasing the skids but still
3) AI gets out of control and takes over the world
4) Politics/country remain this divisive going forward
5) Market crashes

 

[Scoresman]

I always liked NGT's take on this question too.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

www.youtube.com

 

[-fish-]

Mostly clowns. Debilitating disease.

Some things give me anxiety but not fear, like being in a confined space for a long period of time.

 

[TripItUp]

An unhealthy 50s and 60s

War

Economic Collapse

continued ecosystem disruption by man

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I didn't think I had any before I waded in here, but apparently it's people who fear clowns. WTF is wrong with all you people?

 

[Gatorade]

For those of you that fear aging, someone told me this recently.
We all get to enjoy life when we are young, but not all get the privilege of being old.
Don't fear aging, embrace it .

 

[Joe Bryant]

I think it's underlying so many conversations here and I think it should be able to be discussed without any political context.

What are you afraid of? What are you not afraid of? How have your fears changed over the years?

Thanks. I'm curious, what type of specific things do you see here where it feels like fear is underlying?

I think this is a great idea for a topic if we can do it without politics. I'm skeptical but would like to try. I was interested in specifically the kinds of things you saw here that made you think there was underlying fear.

 

[Gatorade]

AI

Crowds - not really fear, I just don't like crowds

 

[Joe Bryant]

Mostly clowns. Debilitating disease.

Some things give me anxiety but not fear, like being in a confined space for a long period of time.

I can see that. How small a space are you talking about?

I'm reading an interesting book, Hail Mary. It's by the guy who wrote "The Martian." I'm just getting started with it. But he's an astronaut who wakes up from a coma in space. Apparently it's a known thing that people can't survive in very tight spaces for too long.

 

[Joe Bryant]

AI

Crowds - not really fear, I just don't like crowds

How does the crowd thing present itself? Like tens of thousands at a football stadium or a few hundred at a movie theater. Does indoor or outdoor make a difference?

 

[Joe Bryant]

Now it's unkowns around KanilJrs (14yo) progress through life: He appears to be happy, but is he? Will he be a happy adult? Is he doing well enough in school to get into the college he wants to get into? He seems fairly set on a career path but is what he wants to do at 14 going to be what he wants to do at 44? How is his social life going? He was extremely anxious when he was younger but seems to have settled down quite a bit as he's gotten older (and some therapy), but is he just hiding it better?

Totally get this.

It's commonly said of parents, "You're as happy as your unhappiest child." I think that's so true.

 

[FairWarning]

rational fear: receiving a dementia/Alzheimer's diagnosis, not being able to care for myself

Bar none my biggest fear (maybe pair this with a stroke that takes my mental facilities). While I have no family history of it, the thought of losing my mental capacity is absolutely terrifying for me.

On the irrational side: some kind of societal breakdown (world wide catastrophe type thing). While I know this is unlikely in my lifetime I do feel a small constant tug to be a bit of a “prep’er”. I haven’t fully succumb to the urge yet, but I do find myself looking at generators or solar backup battery packs on the regular.

I've dealt with my father's major stroke and my mothers alzheimers in the last 7 years. I'm not sure which was worse. After losing two of my three best friends this year, i feel like I question a lot more than in the past.

 

[Gatorade]

AI

Crowds - not really fear, I just don't like crowds

How does the crowd thing present itself? Like tens of thousands at a football stadium or a few hundred at a movie theater. Does indoor or outdoor make a difference?

BIG crowds. Thousands
I would never go to Thanksgiving Day parade or to see the ball drop in times square. Went to see the Redskins play once and that was enough NFL. Maybe that was because I had on my Cowboys jacket or just the old RFK stadium stink. Have been to several NASCAR races and it was okay. Never been to NYC, LA or LV and have no desire to go.

 

[titusbramble]

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

youtu.be

His finest solo work

 

[-fish-]

Mostly clowns. Debilitating disease.

Some things give me anxiety but not fear, like being in a confined space for a long period of time.

I can see that. How small a space are you talking about?

I'm reading an interesting book, Hail Mary. It's by the guy who wrote "The Martian." I'm just getting started with it. But he's an astronaut who wakes up from a coma in space. Apparently it's a known thing that people can't survive in very tight spaces for too long.

Elevators. Planes after more than 3 hours. MRI machines. Things like that can trigger severe anxiety.

Project Hail Mary was a fun read. Read it on the beach on vacation in September. Movie looks good.

 

[snogger]

I think it's underlying so many conversations here and I think it should be able to be discussed without any political context.

What are you afraid of? What are you not afraid of? How have your fears changed over the years?

Easiest answer is my greatest fear is my wife passing before me.

I was stumbling through life at 19 jumping from job to job. She saw more in me that I did. She twisted my arm to go to college.
I would not be where I am in life if not for her.

She taught me not to fear being loved and loving others.

 

[jhib]

I think it's underlying so many conversations here and I think it should be able to be discussed without any political context.

What are you afraid of? What are you not afraid of? How have your fears changed over the years?

Thanks. I'm curious, what type of specific things do you see here where it feels like fear is underlying?

I think this is a great idea for a topic if we can do it without politics. I'm skeptical but would like to try. I was interested in specifically the kinds of things you saw here that made you think there was underlying fear.

Probably threads like this.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Elevators. Planes after more than 3 hours. MRI machines. Things like that can trigger severe anxiety.

I can see that.

Especially something really tight like the MRI machine. I do ok in an elevator but the idea of not being able to move my arms fully is weird.

I have a friend super fearful of this and aside from any other good reasons, it's the primary reason they want to be cremated when they die - just to make sure they don't wind up in the coffin still alive.

 

[Judge Smails]

Yeah - wife and I are both sorta claustrophobic. We will drive to get an Open or Wide Bore MRI

 

[jamny]

I would hate to be eaten by a lion but since that isn't happening right at this moment, there's nothing to fear. Same with anything else.
Don't let anything that might never happen occupy your thoughts. As I sit here, life is good. That's all that matters.

 

[MTskibum]

Disease or when my kids have something going on scary. My daughter has asthma and her cough sometimes causes me anxiety. Especially if we are out to eat and she doesn't have a rescue inhaler.

Kids climbing on rocks, falling, getting pulled out to ocean in undertow, etc.

 

[dkp993]

I would hate to be eaten by a lion but since that isn't happening right at this moment, there's nothing to fear. Same with anything else.
Don't let anything that might never happen occupy your thoughts. As I sit here, life is good. That's all that matters.

This is a great mindset, no doubt. But I do think there is a difference between fearing something and being consumed by that fear. As I said upstream I’m afraid of Alzheimer’s, but I don’t think about it every day. It’s just something that if I do think about is something I’m fearful of, like your being eaten by a lion.

 

[jamny]

I would hate to be eaten by a lion but since that isn't happening right at this moment, there's nothing to fear. Same with anything else.
Don't let anything that might never happen occupy your thoughts. As I sit here, life is good. That's all that matters.

This is a great mindset, no doubt. But I do think there is a difference between fearing something and being consumed by that fear. As I said upstream I’m afraid of Alzheimer’s, but I don’t think about it every day. It’s just something that if I do think about is something I’m fearful of, like your being eaten by a lion.

It's taken me a long time to get close to this mindset, being conscious of staying present. Still working on it. Obviously, no one wants to get Alzheimer's or be eaten by a lion. But it serves no purpose being afraid of it. Actually, it can serve a purpose if you use it to examine yourself and separate the emotion from the thought. Use it to appreciate that, at this moment, you don't have Alzheimer's and aren't being eaten by a lion. Appreciate what is, not what might happen. That's all we can control.