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Fictitious NBA Rumor Thread (1 Viewer)

Orlando Woolridge and Magic Johnson are going head up a new ownership group for the Orlando Magic.

Orlando, Magic to purchase Orlando Magic

 
Kupchak and Riley are working on a sign-and-trade that would send LeBron James to the Lakers in exchange for Kobe Bryant. Other players and picks may need to be involved to make salaries match.

 
Melo, in a Family Feud inspired physical challenge has requested Phil Jackson and James Dolan to tongue kiss for 120 seconds to retain his rights.

 
High-level source inside Carmelo Anthony's camp says Melo and Jim Boeheim are now a "package deal". Melo wants to play 2-3 matchup zone wherever he ends up, and 2-3 matchup mastermind Boeheim is just the man to install it.

Some say Boeheim will only go where he can be head coach, while others claim he will take an assistant coach position if the role and price is right, similar to packages Tex Winter and Pete Carrill have received in recent years. Boeheim is reportedly "fed up" with NCAA rules and officiating, and is ready to take on a new challenge.

 
Looks like Stephen A. Smith is playing too:

Sixers trade for Amare Stoudamire and Iman Shupert:

http://www.nj.com/sixers/index.ssf/2014/07/nba_rumors_amare_stoudemire_iman_shumpert_to_sixers.html

Really one of the dumbest trade scenarios i could imagine. Not saying Sixers wouldn't have done it in the past with prior front offices, but this is the exact opposite thing Hinkie would try for. Good 'ol ESPN
Not really. The Sixers are paying that money anyway whether it divided through out the rest of the players or goes to Amare. If they can get some picks and Hardaway from the Knicks it makes sense. They can buy Amare out if they don't want him on the team and they get some assets. It is exactly what Hinkie has been doing.
 
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Looks like Stephen A. Smith is playing too:

Sixers trade for Amare Stoudamire and Iman Shupert:

http://www.nj.com/sixers/index.ssf/2014/07/nba_rumors_amare_stoudemire_iman_shumpert_to_sixers.html

Really one of the dumbest trade scenarios i could imagine. Not saying Sixers wouldn't have done it in the past with prior front offices, but this is the exact opposite thing Hinkie would try for. Good 'ol ESPN
Not really. The Sixers are paying that money anyway whether it divided through out the rest of the players or goes to Amare. If they can get some picks and Hardaway from the Knicks it makes sense. They can buy Amare out if they don't want him on the team and they get some assets. It is exactly what Hinkie has been doing.
Unless LeBron has indicated he'd come to the Knicks if there was room for him and Melo, that would make no sense for them.

 
Ballmer buys Staples Center, renegotiates the Lakers' tenancy contract to charge a billion per championship banner hung, Jimmy moves the Lakers back to the Fabulous Forum and rehires Dancin' Barry as entertainment.

 
Looks like Stephen A. Smith is playing too:

Sixers trade for Amare Stoudamire and Iman Shupert:

http://www.nj.com/sixers/index.ssf/2014/07/nba_rumors_amare_stoudemire_iman_shumpert_to_sixers.html

Really one of the dumbest trade scenarios i could imagine. Not saying Sixers wouldn't have done it in the past with prior front offices, but this is the exact opposite thing Hinkie would try for. Good 'ol ESPN
Not really. The Sixers are paying that money anyway whether it divided through out the rest of the players or goes to Amare. If they can get some picks and Hardaway from the Knicks it makes sense. They can buy Amare out if they don't want him on the team and they get some assets. It is exactly what Hinkie has been doing.
Unless LeBron has indicated he'd come to the Knicks if there was room for him and Melo, that would make no sense for them.
You're assuming that the Knicks make wise choices. I would like to point out the signing of Amare to that contract and more recently, the multiple draft picks they gave up for Bargnani.

 
Some player name changes-

Carmelo Anthony will change his name to Donald Farasopolous

LeBron James will change his name to LeBaron James

Roy Hibbert will change his name to Jamal Jefferson

 
Glenn Taylor, owner of the Timberwolves, sues the Los Angeles Lakers and wins, regaining the rights to the name and logo. The 11 NBA Championships L.A. won now become the property of the Minneapolis Lakers, who won 5 of their own.

For punitive damages, Jeanie Buss is forced to accept the Timberwolves franchise as her own. She renames them the L.A. Coast.

Kevin Love can save face and sign a max contract with the Minneapolis Lakers, as he wanted to play for them all along. Garnett comes back to "Minny" (as he liked to say) and now has Kobe too. Magic teaches Rubio how to develop an outside shot just as he did himself after coming into the league without one.

Magic, Kareem, Worthy, Jerry West and Shaq (who should've been the #1 pick of MN anyway) all sign one-day contracts so they can retire as Minneapolis Lakers.

With 16 World Championships, the pressure is off the Vikings, who go on to win two of the next five Super Bowls.

 
The New Orleans Pelicans, citing poor merchandise sales, will change their name to the New Orleans Bobcats.

50 Cent will be a referee next season.

 
Sam Cassell to purchase the L.A. Clippers and move them to Roswell, New Mexico. Their new jerseys have been modified to accommodate snouts and blow-holes, and are pending league approval.

 
Mark Cuban decides to hire a new head coach, will give job to the best pitchman on the next episode of Shark Tank.

 
Adam Silver decides to "cement his legacy" by raising the rims to 15 feet and installing trampolines in the floor.

 
Joakim Noah and Blake Griffin will sit out the 2015 season so they can star as the new leads on True Detective.

 
Carmelo, Wade and Bosh all express interest in going to Detroit.

Pistons not interested, preferring to use available cap space to lure Darko Milicic out of retirement.

 
Lebron signs with Cleveland and will become Johnny Footballs #1 TE.

The Browns did not release terms of his contract.

 
To appease purists tired of endless marketing, league goes to a "Shirts vs. Skins" format. Glen Davis immediately retires.

 

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