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Funny things your kid has said (2 Viewers)

El Floppo said:
my 5yo nae naes like a drunk caveman. it's awesome.
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Last year I took my kid (4yo) to his first preseason game.  He got a little antsy so we left after the 3rd quarter.  On our way back to the car there is a group of 5 or 6 guys who are listening to that song.  These guys look like they're about 20 years old and doing their best to look gangster.  My 4yo gets close and starts singing along and starts the dance.  The reaction was great and the guys ended up dancing with my son, giving him high fives, etc.

 
Daughter is a little over two now...

Wife was home sick the other day. Me and daughter are having breakfast when Mom comes stumbling out of the bedroom looking like hell. Daughter points and yells 'Mommy mess!' She didn't appreciate my laughter :mellow:

Walking the dog and kid on the weekend and a black guy walks towards. She's never seen a black person in person before so of course she points and yells 'Chocho!' (her word for chocolate). 

 
My daughter and her friend singing and doing their own choreography to the old Dana Carvey "Choppin Broccoli" skit has me rolling.  

 
At A&W I told 8-yo son that he tells me he loves me about 100x per hour. He constantly says it. 
He said, "If my mouth was a thruster and I was a car, I'd be breaking the speed limit all the time."

 
A fly got in the house. Wife and I were on the lookout for it. I lost sight of it and asked her if she knew where it was. She says she doesn't see it. My son (almost 4) nonchalantly says "Well, shhhit. I don't see it, either." 

Once we stopped  :lol:  it was time to explain to him why he shouldn't be saying that word. 

 
Took the kids out to Arby's for dinner last night.  Going through the drive thru and ready to place our order, the worker came over the speaker and said "Sorry, but we're out of beef.  You can have any other kind of sandwich that doesn't need beef."  From the back seat I hear the 8 year old yell out, "They can't be out!  They have all the meats!"

:lmao:

 
Peak said:
Took the kids out to Arby's for dinner last night.  Going through the drive thru and ready to place our order, the worker came over the speaker and said "Sorry, but we're out of beef.  You can have any other kind of sandwich that doesn't need beef."  From the back seat I hear the 8 year old yell out, "They can't be out!  They have all the meats!"

:lmao:
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:lmao:  I can totally see my 7yr old saying this too.  

HTF does Arby's run out of their signature meat?

 
Peak said:
Took the kids out to Arby's for dinner last night.  Going through the drive thru and ready to place our order, the worker came over the speaker and said "Sorry, but we're out of beef.  You can have any other kind of sandwich that doesn't need beef."  From the back seat I hear the 8 year old yell out, "They can't be out!  They have all the meats!"

:lmao:
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:lol:  Awesome.

This actually happened to us one time at an Arby's at the drive through. I almost fell out of the car. 

 
ChiefD said:
:lol:  Awesome.

This actually happened to us one time at an Arby's at the drive through. I almost fell out of the car. 
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They should have just closed early. Who the #### orders anything but roast beef at Arbys?

 
4y/o daughter: Dad, I knew it was going to storm

Me: Oh, did you watch the news with Gram today?

4y/o: No, I saw it on my phone

Me: You don't have a phone

4y/o: On my pretend phone, dad

 
Son runs into my room because his mom has dinner ready and he's so excited. He says, "I knew we were having hamburgers. I could smell it. I'm side kick."

 
Cliff Clavin said:
Daughter is a little over two now...

Wife was home sick the other day. Me and daughter are having breakfast when Mom comes stumbling out of the bedroom looking like hell. Daughter points and yells 'Mommy mess!' She didn't appreciate my laughter :mellow:

Walking the dog and kid on the weekend and a black guy walks towards. She's never seen a black person in person before so of course she points and yells 'Chocho!' (her word for chocolate). 
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Why has she never seen a black person?

 
Our 3 year old decided she wanted to watch something on Netflix while eating breakfast. Struggles with the TV remote for a bit because she's not pointing it at the TV, then sets them down and walks into the kitchen:

"Those ####### things don't turn on the TV"

 
I was taking my 11&13 yo boys to track practice but went the opposite way. 11yi asks where we were going. I said we had to pick up two kids who asked for a ride. He says "if life were a Broadway musical this would be there part where break into song and sing 'you need to learn to say no to stuff'!"

 
Had Jay-Z stuck in my head this morning while I was helping my 5yo get ready for school....

Me: *singing* I'm the best rapper alive KanilJr, ask about me

KanilJr: No, I'm the best rapper alive

Me: Oh really?  Let me hear you flow.

KanilJr: 15 seconds of fart noises.

 
Kanil said:
Had Jay-Z stuck in my head this morning while I was helping my 5yo get ready for school....

Me: *singing* I'm the best rapper alive KanilJr, ask about me

KanilJr: No, I'm the best rapper alive

Me: Oh really?  Let me hear you flow.

KanilJr: 15 seconds of fart noises.
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:lmao: :lmao:  

 
Sitting here watching some preseason football with my ten year old. He sort of follows the NFL, but wouldn't consider him a die hard. Anyway, we are Chiefs fans, so we are talking about the Bronco's.

Him: Daddy, who is playing quarterback for the Bronco's this year?

Me: Well, I think it might be Mark Sanchez for now.

Him: (looks at me) Seriously?

Me:  :lol: . Yeah.

Him: Wow. That guy is a turd.

Me:  :lol:   :hifive:

 
Was up early with my 6 yo son and he started throwing a fit so I took away his tablet and told him I was headed out to mow the grass. His fit woke up my wife...

Wife: What's wrong and where's dad?

Son: He took...away...my iPad. He went to mow. He's mean! AND he even called me Felicia!

Wife: ....wait...you were throwing a fit and...did your dad possibly say, "Bye Felicia" ?

Son: He called me Felicia!

 
ChiefD said:
Sitting here watching some preseason football with my ten year old. He sort of follows the NFL, but wouldn't consider him a die hard. Anyway, we are Chiefs fans, so we are talking about the Bronco's.

Him: Daddy, who is playing quarterback for the Bronco's this year?

Me: Well, I think it might be Mark Sanchez for now.

Him: (looks at me) Seriously?

Me:  :lol: . Yeah.

Him: Wow. That guy is a turd.

Me:  :lol:   :hifive:
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My 5yo (and Bronco fan) calls him buttfumble.  Thank god he's going to be cut soon!

 
car discussion with my 6 year old about who is more powerful, Emporer Palpatine or a big badfrom Skylanders (Kaos). We were unable to reach consensus. 

Almost 5 yr old daughter was not involved in conversation until she chimed in to ask, "who would win Emporer Palpatine or John Cena?"

This put my son in hysterics and set off extensive Cena sound effects. 

 
My eldest son (5 year old) has been watching a lot of the old Disney Folk Legend cartoons.

i come home from work to the following exchange:

Me: Hi Connor

Connor: Hi daddy! 

Me: What are you watching?

C: Disney John Henry- Daddy did you know you are the same size as John Henry... Just not very strong

Is this a compliment or a veiled shot at my manliness

 
The Hank said:
My eldest son (5 year old) has been watching a lot of the old Disney Folk Legend cartoons.

i come home from work to the following exchange:

Me: Hi Connor

Connor: Hi daddy! 

Me: What are you watching?

C: Disney John Henry- Daddy did you know you are the same size as John Henry... Just not very strong

Is this a compliment or a veiled shot at my manliness
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Both.

 
My 6 year old and I walking through the store this past weekend.

Her: I would love that

Me: We arent here to but toys today

Her: I know, would be a good Christmas gift.  Oh I better get writing my Christmas list! Lots to add.

 
I picked up some donut holes for the family while on vacation last week: my 4yo boy loved the chocolate ones. :thumbup:  

Cut to today...

I was confused as all hell when his reply to my question of what he wanted for breakfast was "Breakfast Meatballs". :oldunsure:  

His 9yo sister broke the code a few minutes later :lol:

 
Jaysus said:
I picked up some donut holes for the family while on vacation last week: my 4yo boy loved the chocolate ones. :thumbup:  

Cut to today...

I was confused as all hell when his reply to my question of what he wanted for breakfast was "Breakfast Meatballs". :oldunsure:  

His 9yo sister broke the code a few minutes later :lol:
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This is outstanding - I'm surprised my eldest doesn't refer them to Breakfast Meatballs too

 
So my 7 yo daughter and I are watching Star Wars ep I last night (yeah I know but it was on and she loved Ep 7 and doesnt remember watching the other 6)....

Anakin is flying off Naboo into space and she asks "Where is is going?"

me: He is going to the battle above.  In space

her: Is he going into the space time continuum?

me: Wait, what?  How do you know about the space time continuum?

her: (singing) Phineas and Ferb! Phineas and Ferb! 

 
we haven't allowed our kids to see the abominations that are the 2nd trilogy (first... whatever) until after they've seen the original trilogy.

that said,

on the subway to school today, 5yo floppinha was talking about having dance today as a special (they get daily special classes... art, dance, music, etc).

9yo floppinho asked- are you going to have to wear... (pantomiming a leotard and tutu)... a toupe?

 
Walking Boot said:
Machete Order FTW. New Hope, 5, 2, 3, 6.

Start with Luke, and the Star Wars you love. Follow his actions in New Hope, then the drama of Empire. End with Han Solo frozen in carbonite and Vader revealed as Luke's father. Massive cliffhanger. How did Luke's father turn out this way? Well, let's go on an extended flashback about how that came to be... two quick dips into the past, then back to the main story as Luke redeems his father.

Completely skip episode I. It's irrelevant to the story. No one introduced in Episode I has any impact on the rest of the movies. Darth Maul dies, Qui-Gon... Darth Sidious is reintroduced later so you don't need E1 at all. No Jar Jar. No midichlorians. No trade disputes. No pod racing. Darth Sidious is training Count Dooku and Obi-Wan is training Anakin, and nothing else confuses that.

Then we're back to resolve the cliffhanger and move on. Episode 1? Meh, if the kids want to see a stand-alone story as a "Muppet Babies" of the original, they can watch it later.
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I agree with this.  And she's seen all 7, just doesnt really remember the first 6 and ep 1 was on TNT (showing 1 per night in ep order 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) so we watched.

But skipping Ep 1 is probably a good idea.  Makes it hard to explain how Padme and Anakin are Luke & Leia's parents.  Led to "How old is the Queen? That seems weird since he is so young"

 
(Just saw a ridiculously huge fake set of cans on TV)

Me: "Good lord she's got huge..."

(Suddenly realizing I'm thinking out loud in front of my 9yr old daughter)

Me: "...tracts of land."

Daughter: "Oh God. "

Me: "'Oh God' what?"

Daughter: "You mean boobs, don't you?"

 
pats3in4 said:
(Just saw a ridiculously huge fake set of cans on TV)

Me: "Good lord she's got huge..."

(Suddenly realizing I'm thinking out loud in front of my 9yr old daughter)

Me: "...tracts of land."

Daughter: "Oh God. "

Me: "'Oh God' what?"

Daughter: "You mean boobs, don't you?"
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
pats3in4 said:
(Just saw a ridiculously huge fake set of cans on TV)

Me: "Good lord she's got huge..."

(Suddenly realizing I'm thinking out loud in front of my 9yr old daughter)

Me: "...tracts of land."

Daughter: "Oh God. "

Me: "'Oh God' what?"

Daughter: "You mean boobs, don't you?"
Click to expand...
:lol:

 
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