Ok gilly, now listen, because this is very serious. I'm going to introduce you to my old man. He's an ####### and he kind of wanted me dead. And he'll want you dead if you tell him you're a wildling. So. What's the first thing you're going to tell him? I'm a wildling. No. Listen. He's going to kill you and the baby if you tell him that. Remember how you used to live in a cabin in the woods while your father brutally beat and raped you and your sisters and you knew better than to talk back because it would only make things worse? Dig deep here, I know you know how to bite your tongue. So, what are you going to tell him when you see him? That I'm a wildling?
I feel like a lot of the fans watching this show will find this scene unbelievable, and that is because they have are virgins and have never gone car shopping with their wife.
The sword is ridiculous. You know how jamie fell all over himself thanking his father when he got a valerian steel sword at age 40 or whatever he is? Rarest thing in the world and the richest family in the world finally got one and had to split it between their two kids? Samwise just had one lying around the house where he grew up.
Finishing the episode with khaleesi actually made me angry. OK let's take inventory here, we have no boats and we're in the middle if the desert with an army of people and we will get there eventually. Let's have a speech and some cgi dragon time.
Also you had to know that was going to be Benji, right? I'm not sure how much he's going to play into the story but I think we've hit our quota for mysterious undead characters. The big reveal where he slowly takes off his balaclava was a little anticlimactic - if you hadn't already guessed, you had to recognize him one they froze the camera on his majestic schnozz.
Speaking of thwarted climaxes, I knew Margery wasn't going to do that walk of shame but I wouldn't have minded if the army was just like five minutes late. The mob that as gathered around to see some royal ####### must have been like, oh, great, thank you tommen, king of the cockblock, first of his name. I should probably put this handful of my own #### down now.
The old lady sucks now. Her one line - he's beaten us - was so hammy it belonged in that play.
Jamie not wanting to help Walter Frey is a far cry from that lannisters always pay their debts thing they beat us over the heads with the first few seasons.
To summarize the stark storyline: Ok, ned, i need you to stay around and be hand of the king and help me rule. Oops, boar. Well, can you at least look after my kid after i die? Damn. Ok, rob, i know you were going to learn from your father to be lord of winter fell, but that didn't work out so great. Go gather up an army, you can learn as you go. ####. Well, sansa, at least you can learn how to be a lady. That seems easy enough. Hey Jon, we need you to be an apprentice to the Lord commander. Oh, ####. We're going to need you to be lord commander. Arya, listen close, we need you to become a sword fighter. Dang, there goes the first sword of bravos. Well, you can apprentice with the faceless men. Nope, now we're going to have to kill you too. Hey bran, you can't walk so we need to turn into tree Yoda some day. He'll teach you everything you need to know. ####. These starks just can't finish what they start.
Stay in school kids, or you'll get raped, tortured, and used by the worst people in the planet, brutally betrayed and murdered by your friends then turned into a zombie, betrayed by your childhood friend, blinded and cracked in your face by a girl with a stick, crippled, have your friends killed in front of you and your dreams haunted, and if there's one certainty in life, if you don't finish school they'll kill your ####### dog.
at "Dany's scene shows she's finally ready to hit up Westeros". Because she did the same thing she's done like 15 times now before NOT going to Westeros? Of course we know probably things will be different this time just because of the time limit on number of episodes left, but then again people were saying the same thing about the fire episode and all we've gotten from her since then is two episodes of her horseback riding through the desert.
