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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (27 Viewers)

heckmanm said:
One other weiner-dog story. Every toy MUST be ripped apart at the seams, ESPECIALLY if it squeaks.  Squeakers generally don't go beyond about 15 minutes, and God help you if you bought a toy with stuffing inside, because that #### is going EVERYWHERE. Fortunately you can get un-stuffed furry critters like this, which they love.

We once found one of those with about 20 squeakers inside.  Hilarious for about 10 minutes, then :wall:
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Yeah, our chiweenie takes out squeakers like it's his damn job.

 
DA RAIDERS said:
Loving the pet stories. Keep em coming!
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I had a cat named Larry that...

  • Would play with disposable razors even though they cut up his little toes.  You couldn't hide them from him either.  He knew how to open up cupboards and drawers until he found them.  And he wouldn't play with the ones where I took out the blades.
  • Larry Katz got mail from everything from car dealerships to the armed forces.  One time he got a call from a Navy recruiter.  I might have had something to do with that.
  • I cannot confirm this nor do I really believe it but we had a neighbor that swore that Larry knew how to turn on his hot tub so that he could sleep on top of the cover while the heater ran.
 
we had a goldfish we named Bubbles that my littlest daughter won at a Oktoberfest neighborhood event 2 years ago.   It lived in a plastic cup for about a month, like an 8 oz  drinking cup and didn't die.   

Then we moved it to a fishbowl and rarely changed the water  and fed it whenver someone remembered.   after about a year that thing went from being basically a zygote to about a half pounder.   I was wondering how it got so damn big eating fish flakes.   It probably ate its own poo.

This year, 2 yrs later Bubbles is almost big enough to turn into sushi.   Then my son goes to the same damn Oktoberfest deal and wins not one, but TWO of these ####### goldfish.   My wife throws them in the fishbowl with Bubbles.    couple days later,  Bubbles is floating on the surface paddling around with one flipper, so wife takes the smaller guys out of the bowl and puts them in plastic cups where they promptly die within a day or so.     Bubbles comes back to life though.   As soon as those little oxygen stealing bastards got transfereed into solitary, he perked right up!    

That was about a month ago.   Bubbles took his last dump on Saturday and then floated into goldfish heaven.   

 
My daughter won Larry Fishgerald at one of those school carnival toss a ping pong ball into a bowl things.  3+ years that little effin thing chugged away.  Pretty sure he committed suicide while watching a Trump and Clinton debate.

 
OrtonToOlsen said:
I had a cat named Larry that...

  • Would play with disposable razors even though they cut up his little toes.  You couldn't hide them from him either.  He knew how to open up cupboards and drawers until he found them.  And he wouldn't play with the ones where I took out the blades.
  • Larry Katz got mail from everything from car dealerships to the armed forces.  One time he got a call from a Navy recruiter.  I might have had something to do with that.
  • I cannot confirm this nor do I really believe it but we had a neighbor that swore that Larry knew how to turn on his hot tub so that he could sleep on top of the cover while the heater ran.
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:lol:

we live across the street from Katz's (jewish deli- famous for "I'll have what she's having" and for pastrami and corned beef) which is also across the street from the parking lot where we rescued Chip the cat. I lobbied hard to name him Katz's, which I think would've been a truly amazing and terrible name. guess who won.

 
tommyboy said:
we had a goldfish we named Bubbles that my littlest daughter won at a Oktoberfest neighborhood event 2 years ago.   It lived in a plastic cup for about a month, like an 8 oz  drinking cup and didn't die.   

Then we moved it to a fishbowl and rarely changed the water  and fed it whenver someone remembered.   after about a year that thing went from being basically a zygote to about a half pounder.   I was wondering how it got so damn big eating fish flakes.   It probably ate its own poo.

This year, 2 yrs later Bubbles is almost big enough to turn into sushi.   Then my son goes to the same damn Oktoberfest deal and wins not one, but TWO of these ####### goldfish.   My wife throws them in the fishbowl with Bubbles.    couple days later,  Bubbles is floating on the surface paddling around with one flipper, so wife takes the smaller guys out of the bowl and puts them in plastic cups where they promptly die within a day or so.     Bubbles comes back to life though.   As soon as those little oxygen stealing bastards got transfereed into solitary, he perked right up!    

That was about a month ago.   Bubbles took his last dump on Saturday and then floated into goldfish heaven.   
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RIP Bubbles.

also said that the last time I went to a strip club.

 
heckmanm said:
One other weiner-dog story. Every toy MUST be ripped apart at the seams, ESPECIALLY if it squeaks.  Squeakers generally don't go beyond about 15 minutes, and God help you if you bought a toy with stuffing inside, because that #### is going EVERYWHERE. Fortunately you can get un-stuffed furry critters like this, which they love.

We once found one of those with about 20 squeakers inside.  Hilarious for about 10 minutes, then :wall:
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Try this with a 60+ lb boxer.  Toys?  What are toys?  That unstuffed thing would take up residence inside a poop bag in less than a day.  Traditional toys are not an option.  They're chewing machines, just waiting for the next thing they have permission to destroy.  Same deal with the squeakers, though.  It's a search and destroy mission. 

The flip side, however, is that they're afraid of the most ridiculous things.  If somebody wanted to break into our house, their best weapon against her would be a cardboard box.  We put one on the couch when we leave so she won't get up there.  She doesn't bark ay anything... except hot air balloons.  Which would seem like it should be an infrequent occurrence, except that they frequently launch from the field southwest of us when it cools off outside.  I always know, because she's suddenly hunched at the back door with hairs on end and this guttural growl that originates in the depths of hell and makes its way out in a half-bark, half-help-me-jesus-help-me-tom-cruise plea for mercy.

 
i really like boxers.     Max was a boxer when we picked him up at the pound, but when we got the DNA test back he was a pitbull, bull dog mix.    American bulldog that is, they aren't the lovable english variety  see here:  https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/2d/06/90/2d06909ce4133b67fa3fc2ef3b82f0a4.jpg

about a month ago i was camping over near the Oregon coast and we went to the beach to relax in the sun.   Two different owners and their boxers arrived and one of the dogs was like a prized show dog.  I've never seen a bigger more muscular boxer, thing looked like it coould run through brick walls

 
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heckmanm said:
Does he also like to periodically pick up one of the "carcasses" and just shake the bejeezus out of it? (Making sure it's dead, I suppose)
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Of course.  Dachshunds were bred to hunt badgers.  Mine is afraid of his own shadow but will straight up murder a squeaky toy.

 
spent a couple hours visiting with my buddy's dad tonight. guy smokes. been a while since i've been in a smokers home. my eyes burn, my clothes stink and i am incredibly thirsty.

 
My dog is just a mutt but as loveable as can be. Loves snuggling, especially with Mrs. SLB.  He also likes to hoard dirty socks. Whenever we're gone,  upon our return, he runs to his stash/laundry room/hamper to present a dirty sock to the rightful owner.  He also laid in bed with me for almost two straight weeks while I was recovering from foot surgery.  Good boy. 

 
St. Louis Bob said:
My dog is just a mutt but as loveable as can be. Loves snuggling, especially with Mrs. SLB.  He also likes to hoard dirty socks. Whenever we're gone,  upon our return, he runs to his stash/laundry room/hamper to present a dirty sock to the rightful owner.  He also laid in bed with me for almost two straight weeks while I was recovering from foot surgery.  Good boy. 
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I think this is one of those stories where dog= you.

 
Limp Ditka said:
Something appealing about sleeping in dog hair that I’m missing? 
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I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if you live in a house with a dog your are almost certainly sleeping in/breathing/eating dog hair whether you "allow them on the bed" or not. (Unless they have alopecia, I suppose.)

 
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mr roboto said:
I have killed 12 mice in the last 3 days. I may have a problem...
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We have one that refuses to touch a trap. I have multiple traps with peanut butter, usually it's a day at most before they are dead. We are now on a week and multiple loaves of bread later. Little **** figured out how to climb on our kitchen table to get at it after we moved it from the counter.

 
5-ish Finkle said:
I hate to be the one to break it to you, but if you live in a house with a dog your are almost certainly sleeping in/breathing/eating dog hair whether you "allow them on the bed" or not. (Unless they have alopecia, I suppose.)
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Understood. Not sure why you should maximize the exposure though. I mean its animal hair. Its simply not clean and not something I want to be wallowing in.

 
Tootsie rolls. Chew them up till they are soft then wrap them around the trigger on the trap. They harden around the trigger and are virtually impervious to the little bastards removing the bait. I’ve reset traps several times - they can’t gat that tootsie roll off the trap without triggering it. 

 
Busy day and I got a lot done so far.  I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket and flew to the moon. What was his name? Apollo Creed?

 
Doctor Detroit said:
So I'm getting my stuff ready to go to Florida, Texas, or the islands for Hurricane relief and I need some good work pants and the Special Ops guys have some cool stuff.

I wander up to the X floor and talk with a dude I know who has the good pants.  We talk a bit and then he says his boss' office, which faces a bunch of condos with a lot of "activity," is very interesting.  So we go there and he points out a condo with the shades down.  He explains that almost every day there is a 20 something in there getting plowed by one or two guys at a time, and she's prime. Sure there is.  :rolleyes:

So two condos over and one floor down I see a chick walk to the window completely nude. :excited: So I said, yeah there are some boobs there also.  Where?  Are you serious?  He runs back to the office as my top employee and I enjoy the view.  The Spec Ops guy comes back with binoculars, but this is close enough that anyone with say 20/40 is fine. 

So this chick then puts on a Wonder Woman costume, then takes it off so she's totally nude.  Then she puts on another Wonder Woman costume, :popcorn:

SpecOps guy then announces: "There is a dude on the couch in there watching!!!" 

:Silence:

:Moresilence:

She then removes the 2nd costume and gives us a total cooter shot, and this was a nice piece of ###. 

Moral of the story is I wish I was on the eastside of the building. :mellow:
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Betting it's @Arizona Ron apartment 

 
Doctor Detroit said:
So I'm getting my stuff ready to go to Florida, Texas, or the islands for Hurricane relief and I need some good work pants and the Special Ops guys have some cool stuff.

I wander up to the X floor and talk with a dude I know who has the good pants.  We talk a bit and then he says his boss' office, which faces a bunch of condos with a lot of "activity," is very interesting.  So we go there and he points out a condo with the shades down.  He explains that almost every day there is a 20 something in there getting plowed by one or two guys at a time, and she's prime. Sure there is.  :rolleyes:

So two condos over and one floor down I see a chick walk to the window completely nude. :excited: So I said, yeah there are some boobs there also.  Where?  Are you serious?  He runs back to the office as my top employee and I enjoy the view.  The Spec Ops guy comes back with binoculars, but this is close enough that anyone with say 20/40 is fine. 

So this chick then puts on a Wonder Woman costume, then takes it off so she's totally nude.  Then she puts on another Wonder Woman costume, :popcorn:

SpecOps guy then announces: "There is a dude on the couch in there watching!!!" 

:Silence:

:Moresilence:

She then removes the 2nd costume and gives us a total cooter shot, and this was a nice piece of ###. 

Moral of the story is I wish I was on the eastside of the building. :mellow:
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Betting it's @Arizona Ron apartment 

 
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