GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (1 Viewer)

[McJose]

Vent

 

[General Malaise]

You ever watch Treme?

No, I've been meaning to do that.  Pretty good?

 

[McJose]

A guy is sitting at a bar looking miserable.  After his third double in 10 minutes the bartender asks him what's wrong.

The guys says "There is this absolutely gorgeous woman at my work.  I mean this chick is the hottest thing around.   I finally scored a date with her tonight."

"Well, I would think you'd be happy about that." says the bartender.

"Yeah, you'd think so.  This girl is so freaking sexy that every time I see her I get a massive erection.  Never fails."

"So what happened?" the bartender asks.

"Well" the guys says "I was really afraid of getting a boner around her and creeping her out.  So I had a plan.  I taped my #### to my leg so if I did get a woody she wouldn't see it."

"And what happened?"

"I got to her house and she opened the door.  She looked even hotter than usual.  Just smokin'"

"And?"

Spoiler

"I kicked her in the face."

 

[McJose]

No, I've been meaning to do that.  Pretty good?

It's good.  Nowhere near as good as The Wires but good.

The guys that play Lester and Bunk are two of the main characters.  

 

[Dan Lambskin]

It's good.  Nowhere near as good as The Wires but good.

The guys that play Lester and Bunk are two of the main characters.  

It was ok, honestly not sure if I finished the series or not.  Not super memorable, but it’s well done

i still need to finish season 5 of the wire BTW

 

[McJose]

It was ok, honestly not sure if I finished the series or not.  Not super memorable, but it’s well done

i still need to finish season 5 of the wire BTW

And you expect anyone to take your opinion on any TV show seriously?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Now it's actively trying to kill you.  Can't say you weren't warned, people.

Outbreak Alert: E.coli outbreak linked to chopped romaine lettuce.

 

[bostonfred]

Got this memo at work today:

Lying – it’s always wrong, but sometimes companies have to say things that aren’t 100% true.  Is that wrong?  No.  When companies aren’t truthful it’s not because they're bad, it’s because they understand things that you don’t.  People lie.  Companies protect their interests.  It’s different.

https://youtu.be/a1dibdSsLlc

 

[bostonfred]

Teamwork

I'm starting to question the sincerity

Many more (from better off Ted)

 

[RC94]

https://youtu.be/a1dibdSsLlc

One of my favorite shows ever.  I can't believe it only lasted 2 seasons

 

[Dan Lambskin]

My 9 year old told the teacher that another kid said the F word at recess.  I yelled at him and told him not to be a tattletale 

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Oh and he walked in on me and the wife last night (forgot to lock the door).  Going with the “ignore it” strategy...

 

[RC94]

This one is my favorite (from Better off Ted):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFzndri1xPo

 

[El Floppo]

Got this memo at work today:

Lying – it’s always wrong, but sometimes companies have to say things that aren’t 100% true.  Is that wrong?  No.  When companies aren’t truthful it’s not because they're bad, it’s because they understand things that you don’t.  People lie.  Companies protect their interests.  It’s different.

I missed you getting the job- congrats!.... I...uh....think.

 

[El Floppo]

Not AT&T

Rocco's?

 

[RC94]

I missed you getting the job- congrats!.... I...uh....think.

That post was a joke, like 95% of my posts. 

2 interviews next week, though (not a joke), both are hopefully final round.  2 very different companies.  That said, I have had a lot of interviews and gone into the final round 5 times... and still looking.

 

[El Floppo]

That post was a joke, like 95% of my posts. 

2 interviews next week, though (not a joke), both are hopefully final round.  2 very different companies.  That said, I have had a lot of interviews and gone into the final round 5 times... and still looking.

Good luck, man. 

 

[the rover]

My 9 year old told the teacher that another kid said the F word at recess.  I yelled at him and told him not to be a tattletale 

Did you tell him not to be a ####### tattletale?

 

[kevzilla]

I'm at the bar. CAN YOU IMAGINE?

 

[Uruk-Hai]

!#@$#$^%$# I JUST STUBBED THE #### OUT OF MY TOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[McJose]

Two graduates

 

[McJose]

At urgent care getting stitches on finger.  Stupid box cutters.

 

[cosjobs]

Oh and he walked in on me and the wife last night (forgot to lock the door).  Going with the “ignore it” strategy...

No wonder the f word traumatizes him.

 

[McJose]

Here's something to cheer you up.  I'm 45, and listening to a 3 day old newborn cry in the next room. 

You’re right.  That makes me feel better.

 

[cosjobs]

You’re right.  That makes me feel better.

I hope the the box got the worst of it/

 

[Epic Problem]

Here's something to cheer you up.  I'm 45, and listening to a 3 day old newborn cry in the next room. 

Would you happen to be partially responsible for this newborn being in existence? 

 

[mr. furley]

At urgent care getting stitches on finger.  Stupid box cutters.

it's right there in the name, Brant

you cut boxes with it

 

[Osaurus]

I’m going to a Rays game.  Pretty sure I have it the worst here 

 

[kevzilla]

I’m going to a Rays game.  Pretty sure I have it the worst here 

Upside: you'll have your own section

 

[Osaurus]

Upside: you'll have your own section

Troof.  The crowd’s not as bad as the White Sox game earlier in the week though.

 

[Osaurus]

Down 7 in the 4th.  WTF?  Rays=

 

[tommyboy]

Oh and he walked in on me and the wife last night (forgot to lock the door).  Going with the “ignore it” strategy...

Wrestling

 

[McJose]

@General Malaise @tommyboy

You know this guy? https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ntLmL_OUdXk&feature=youtu.be

Did a Reddit AMA https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/8c8f2t/im_a_news_reporter_in_portland_oregon_a_montage/

Quote
[–]Jon_Benet_Rambo 414 points 7 hours ago 

Do you have any funny stories from Vikings training camp?

[–]tault002 1010 points 6 hours ago 

It was in lovely Mankato, Minnesota, and I got there before camp and had time to kill. One night I went to a townie bar and joined a trivia team, and we ended up winning the prize. Which was.... Adult-themed. And designed for men. I took it back to my hotel room and threw it in the trash. The next morning the person who cleaned my room must have assumed I made a mistake, and took the "prize" out of the trash and placed it on the table

 

[psychobillies]

Here's something to cheer you up.  I'm 45, and listening to a 3 day old newborn cry in the next room. 

Going out for a pack of cigarettes down?

 

[Henry Ford]

You'll like this too.  

At the end of the year we have a bunch of service organizations that give out awards to deserving students.  Kiwanis, Optimists, Elks, etc.  This is about the time of year where we have to nominate kids for said awards.

One of the groups is Alpha Kappa Alpha.  Each year they award a small scholarship to one of our female, African-American students (which at my school means that if you are a black girl you've got about a 1-out of-8 chance of winning that award).  

One of my students came in late just now because the principal was talking to her about "something called 'The Alpaca' award".  

You give black girls the “AKA award”? Any red flags for you folks there?

 

[McJose]

You give black girls the “AKA award”? Any red flags for you folks there?

We didn’t name the sorority,  Malcolm.

 

[RC94]

I think we should all take a moment and be thankful that spiders can't fly.

 

[RC94]

A real memo? 

No, it was a joke from a TV show

Did you take a moment to give thanks that spiders can't fly?

 

[McJose]

Hey, local barband:

Tom Petty is cool but...FFS

 

[kevzilla]

#TitleOfMySexTape is trending on Twitter this morning.

 

[boom king]

Pretty sure I’m signing my boys (pre-k and k) up for Taekwondo pretty soon. Anyone have experience with this? 

My Kindergartner has a guy come to school and do some short lessons and he loved it. 

 

[RC94]

Pretty sure I’m signing my boys (pre-k and k) up for Taekwondo pretty soon. Anyone have experience with this? 

My Kindergartner has a guy come to school and do some short lessons and he loved it. 

Not as a parent, but I started taking shudokan lessons when I was young.  I didn't need to learn how to fight where I grew up, but it was more for my own discipline and controlling my temper.  I loved it and continued taking various kinds of martial arts lessons until college.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

At urgent care getting stitches on finger.  Stupid box cutters.

Terrorist

 

[the rover]

I think I’d rather be attacked by a pit bull then have to deal with a 13 year old girl with PMS.   Anyone want to buy a kid?  She doesn’t actually do anything useful and she only has two moods:  sullen and angry.  She could probably install Netflix if sufficiently motivated.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Pretty sure I’m signing my boys (pre-k and k) up for Taekwondo pretty soon. Anyone have experience with this? 

My Kindergartner has a guy come to school and do some short lessons and he loved it. 

My daughter loves it. It's a good activity for kids. The master of the dojang is the most important element. If he's good, you're good. 

 

[Ignoramus]

Would you happen to be partially responsible for this newborn being in existence? 

I heard the box got the worst of it/

 

[shuke]

Pretty sure I’m signing my boys (pre-k and k) up for Taekwondo pretty soon. Anyone have experience with this? 

My Kindergartner has a guy come to school and do some short lessons and he loved it. 

My son did it for about 3 years.  Greatly helped with his confidence and coordination.  He got up to two levels below black and just wasn't into it any more.  

 

[Tecumseh]

My daughter loves it. It's a good activity for kids. The master of the dojang is the most important element. If he's good, you're good. 

This. My daughter started at 5, and continued until she was 10 or 11. Made 2nd degree black belt. Then her school was sold, and it made all the difference. She tried another school, but it just felt like a belt mill. After 6 months the master didn't even know her name. She quit and started basketball instead.

 

[McJose]

Totes adorbz

 

[Henry Ford]

I think I just agreed to buy a 10-year-old BMW.  TPWs, please.