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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (15 Viewers)

General Malaise said:
El Floppo said:
Leeroy Jenkins said:
El Floppo said:
General Malaise said:
RedmondLonghorn said:
Circus peanuts seem gross, but I've never once actually eaten one. Didn't even consider it as a kid.

You know a candy has issues when a kid won't even try it.
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Always had a bunch of these leftover. Underrated awfulness here.
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wow. those look... terrible. like fruit cake, but without the fruit... or cake.there was a sweet tart looking thing that came in a roll... but was shockingly neither sweet or tart. more wafery colored dirt/board than candy. can't remember what it was called- but it was terrible.
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Neco wafers?
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nice work- thanks, that's exactly what I was thinking about.
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I like those. :bag:

I also love black licorice, but had to stop eating it because it turned my poop green. :mellow:
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imagine if you had liked those brachs abortions. you'd have turned your #### off-white

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
RedmondLonghorn said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
RedmondLonghorn said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
I'm not a proponent of the death penalty but in this case I would say it is called for http://wtvr.com/2015/10/22/baby-carrot-assault-charge/
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Based on this quote, I'd support the death penalty for Todd Stone.

"If it's a soft carrot, it may not be as offensive,” said CBS 6 legal expert Todd Stone. “But if it's a raw carrot, you don't have to have an injury or show you were hurt to prove a battery. It just has to be an offensive, vindictive touch. That's what the law says."
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Exactly. Doesn't matter what kind of carrot it was. This girl is a danger to not just the honest, hardworking middle school teachers of America but society in general as well.
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Fictional characters?
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http://i.imgur.com/1c7aPJm.jpg
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Whoa. Friendly fire there, dude. :angry:

 
Homer J Simpson said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
RedmondLonghorn said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
RedmondLonghorn said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
I'm not a proponent of the death penalty but in this case I would say it is called for http://wtvr.com/2015/10/22/baby-carrot-assault-charge/
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Based on this quote, I'd support the death penalty for Todd Stone.

"If it's a soft carrot, it may not be as offensive,” said CBS 6 legal expert Todd Stone. “But if it's a raw carrot, you don't have to have an injury or show you were hurt to prove a battery. It just has to be an offensive, vindictive touch. That's what the law says."
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Exactly. Doesn't matter what kind of carrot it was. This girl is a danger to not just the honest, hardworking middle school teachers of America but society in general as well.
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Fictional characters?
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http://i.imgur.com/1c7aPJm.jpg
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Whoa. Friendly fire there, dude. :angry:
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:shrug: it's just a photo of a girl.

 
I hate my mom's neighbor.

My mom is having the block foundation of her house (been in it since 1972) repaired so she can prepare to downsize to something with little to no maintenance. There is about 3 feet between that side of her house and the neighbor's driveway, so she had to get signed approval for the company doing the work to be on the driveway for about a week.

Begrudgingly, the horrid wretch signed, after my mom promised to repair/replace anything damaged during the repair (at her expense). The driveway was in pretty bad shape, so we got tons of "before" pictures. Well, during the repair, the company broke off the corner of one square of the driveway (outside work mostly wrapping up today), so they told mom they would jackhammer that half section out and pour new at the beginning of next week. Mom then said she would kick the extra $800 to just replace that whole section.

Workers go to tell the neighbor what they are doing....and she calls the police. She won't even talk to the workers. Wants the front half of the drive replaced (the part with grass visible growing through all the cracks BEFORE any work even started), blah blah blah.

Mom was even going to SLB her with a gift card as thanks for giving up use of her driveway the week prior to this because she had been uncharacteristcally sane during this process. Well, that ain't gonna happen now.

This is the same gem who called the police on:

- a tree service working for the neighbor whose lot runs across the back for breaking her chain link fence (they didn't, I was working in the yard the whole time)

- another neighbor's visiting kids, whose car broke down in front of her driveway as they were leaving (they knocked on her door to tell her they broke down and had already called a tow truck)

There's probably more that I don't even know about. I'm pissed off that my mom did everything right and now has to worry about this #### because of her lowlife neighbor, who got the down payment on the house covered by a grant and apparently pays for it all with child support from her two baby daddies (who are probably paying a premium to disentangle themselves from her psycho ###).

TLDR; My mom's neighbor is a wretched hosebeast and I should probably drink some bourbon to calm down.

 
At my kids elementary school for a Halloween movie night

Movie in the gym (hotel Transylvania) with a bunch of K-5 kids running around

I think this is the 3rd circle of Hell

 
My job really put me through the wringer this week. Which am I going to regret less at the gym tomorrow morning, Bailey's or Drambuie?

 
Rustoleum said:
I hate my mom's neighbor.

My mom is having the block foundation of her house (been in it since 1972) repaired so she can prepare to downsize to something with little to no maintenance. There is about 3 feet between that side of her house and the neighbor's driveway, so she had to get signed approval for the company doing the work to be on the driveway for about a week.

Begrudgingly, the horrid wretch signed, after my mom promised to repair/replace anything damaged during the repair (at her expense). The driveway was in pretty bad shape, so we got tons of "before" pictures. Well, during the repair, the company broke off the corner of one square of the driveway (outside work mostly wrapping up today), so they told mom they would jackhammer that half section out and pour new at the beginning of next week. Mom then said she would kick the extra $800 to just replace that whole section.

Workers go to tell the neighbor what they are doing....and she calls the police. She won't even talk to the workers. Wants the front half of the drive replaced (the part with grass visible growing through all the cracks BEFORE any work even started), blah blah blah.

Mom was even going to SLB her with a gift card as thanks for giving up use of her driveway the week prior to this because she had been uncharacteristcally sane during this process. Well, that ain't gonna happen now.

This is the same gem who called the police on:

- a tree service working for the neighbor whose lot runs across the back for breaking her chain link fence (they didn't, I was working in the yard the whole time)

- another neighbor's visiting kids, whose car broke down in front of her driveway as they were leaving (they knocked on her door to tell her they broke down and had already called a tow truck)

There's probably more that I don't even know about. I'm pissed off that my mom did everything right and now has to worry about this #### because of her lowlife neighbor, who got the down payment on the house covered by a grant and apparently pays for it all with child support from her two baby daddies (who are probably paying a premium to disentangle themselves from her psycho ###).

TLDR; My mom's neighbor is a wretched hosebeast and I should probably drink some bourbon to calm down.
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Easy - your mom allows the hosebeast to go to small claims court. The challenge will be to convince your mom to do so since she is so nice she may not be able to stand the thought of someone suing her.

 
Rustoleum said:
cstu said:
Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kisses - for when you absolutely, positively hate children but don't want to get your house egged or tp'ed.
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If they chuck those things back at your house, they're likely to break windows. I think they age them until they are about 98% petrified, but just soft enough for the wrapper to get irretrievably embedded. Never, ever, had a fresh one as a kid.
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Agree - if hard they are like Now or Laters that will either break your teeth or pull them out if you can sink your teeth into them.

Note: creates LOTS of drool.

 
One year we put a big stainless mixing bowl full of candy on the doorstep with a little sign that said "take one" and then went trick or treating with my 4 kids.

When we got home the candy was all gone, and the bowl and the sign. Now we just throw a pile of candy on the porch

 
tommyboy said:
One year we put a big stainless mixing bowl full of candy on the doorstep with a little sign that said "take one" and then went trick or treating with my 4 kids.

When we got home the candy was all gone, and the bowl and the sign. Now we just throw a pile of candy on the porch
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Two years ago, we did this toward the end of the night because my wife wanted to go with my daughter and I for the last hour or so of trick or treating. From the time of putting out the bowl (with about 4 large bags of top quality candy bars), closing the front door and out the garage door to leave ...bowl emptied.

The older, clearly "not from our neighborhood" kids/early teenagers walked by me not having seen me come out of the garage. I couldn't prove it and because I didn't want to ruin the night for my daughter I didn't say anything. Will never do it again.

 
Exactly. I think anyone past age 14 should be summarily executed for trick or treating, unlesz they have a kid or nice rack

 
Willie Neslon said:
I was a rodeo clown for a rodeo clown competition. It was a one day job and I had no experience as a rodeo clown. It wasn't a real rodeo, there were no bulls. It was just professional rodeo clowns being timed running around barrels and stuff and being judged for their costume and humor. It was awful because the crowd knew I was a fraud because I wasn't in the competition. It was embarrassing to "perform" in front of the pro clowns because they knew I sucked. There was no actual rodeo so there really wasn't much to do. I basically would run out front every ten minutes and wave my hat around a bunch of times. Never got one person to clap or smile, just a few get out of the ways. They didn't even give me any clown clothes or makeup. I pretty much just rolled up my jeans and rubbed some dirt on my face. So ghetto. One of the real clowns asked me what my clown name was and I think I said Ray. Only thing I could think of. He just said oh and nodded and walked away so he could hang out with cooler clowns. Humiliated for fifty bucks.
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If he's fake, he's Nipsey level brilliant with his shtick.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Drifter said:
Willie Neslon said:
I was a rodeo clown for a rodeo clown competition. It was a one day job and I had no experience as a rodeo clown. It wasn't a real rodeo, there were no bulls. It was just professional rodeo clowns being timed running around barrels and stuff and being judged for their costume and humor. It was awful because the crowd knew I was a fraud because I wasn't in the competition. It was embarrassing to "perform" in front of the pro clowns because they knew I sucked. There was no actual rodeo so there really wasn't much to do. I basically would run out front every ten minutes and wave my hat around a bunch of times. Never got one person to clap or smile, just a few get out of the ways. They didn't even give me any clown clothes or makeup. I pretty much just rolled up my jeans and rubbed some dirt on my face. So ghetto. One of the real clowns asked me what my clown name was and I think I said Ray. Only thing I could think of. He just said oh and nodded and walked away so he could hang out with cooler clowns. Humiliated for fifty bucks.
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If he's fake, he's Nipsey level brilliant with his shtick.
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Well...yeah.

 
:coffee:

Morning, folks.

How was the sauerbraten, Frosty? I love me some German food. Rouladen is manna from heaven.

Texasguys, stay dry if you can. Looks like y'all have gotten an ### of rain with more coming from that hurricane.

 
Rained out the tailgate for today. Somehow, drinking mimosas on the couch while half the family sleeps isn't quite as much fun as doing it while eating breakfast tacos with a bunch of other people in front of an old school bus.

 
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