GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (16 Viewers)

[Annyong]

Help?

I need the video clip of this lionel hutz moment from the simpsons:

Mr. Hutz we've been in here for four hours. Do you have any evidence at all?

Hutz: Well, Your Honor. Weve plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are kinds of evidence.

Kids these days

 

[bentley]

Jimtan friends,

I'm not an adorable kid raising money for a good cause, but I am hitting you up for money. Despite not actually owning a bike and not having ridden more than 15 miles at a time in more than a decade, I'm riding in the MS 150 bike ride from Houston to Austin in three weeks. My fundraising page is here.

http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Bike/TXHBikeEvents?px=13842064&pg=personal&fr_id=25298

For $100 in GMTAN donations, I'll shotgun a beer and video it as soon as I get to La Grange, which is the stopping point for the first day. I'll be exhausted and in a taint crushing amount of pain, so it should be good. I'm also willing to take script suggestions.

Thank you for your support. YIC.

donated

You are also awesome. The rest of you guys are turds. Except for GM. Um, I mean, I appreciate your future consideration.

 

[tommyboy]

West Virginia getting piped. What was the line?

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

I am generally against vanity plates, but I snapped a picture of one that other day that rules.

 

[tommyboy]

No way that guy lets you merge

 

[Henry Ford]

Help?

I need the video clip of this lionel hutz moment from the simpsons:

Mr. Hutz we've been in here for four hours. Do you have any evidence at all?

Hutz: Well, Your Honor. Weve plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are kinds of evidence.

I know. Only so many you can bury in the basement before people start to notice, though.

 

[heckmanm]

Page 2 save - somebody check on UH?

 

[heckmanm]

Also - went to Alton Brown's live show last night. Very entertaining.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Also - went to Alton Brown's live show last night. Very entertaining.

He annoys the crap out of me. Can't watch any of his shows except Iron Chef.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Also - went to Alton Brown's live show last night. Very entertaining.

You and krista4like this Unlike

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Also - went to Alton Brown's live show last night. Very entertaining.

You and krista4like this Unlike

Lurking

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I had some naan last night. Awful, repulsive stuff. I have no idea how anybody could possibly eat that crap.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

In the continued saga of my crazy ex- and sociopathic children, additional shots have been fired. I sent off this email this AM:

After considering our schedule and discussing the issue, I am withdrawing our offer of flexibility on Easter. Easter this year is mine and I intend to have the kids for the whole day. I'd suggest you plan your family Easter get-together for Saturday.
I am sure you will recognize this as another case where [Wife 2.0] has talked to me and I have changed my mind. It's true; she has talked some sense into me. I have been a push-over to you for far too long. We are no longer pretending things are okay when the kids act out over here and I am no longer going to pretend that you and I have a functional co-parenting relationship.

It has become painfully obvious to me that no matter what I do to be accomodating and reasonable, you continue to undermine things between the kids and me on your end, among other things.

Some recent examples include:
--You failing to notify me that [Kid#3] went to the school psychologist a few weeks back.
--You blowing off the fact that [Kid#1] lied to you about knocking on our door (he has since acknowledged as much) and refusing to even engage when I sought to discuss it.
--You feeding [Kid#3] a BS definition of "bullying", confusing a fairly clear-cut issue in his head.

Waiting on her reply.

 

[Limp Ditka]

TRE's here, krista's LURKING

It's like a JIMTAN reunion

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

I had some naan last night. Awful, repulsive stuff. I have no idea how anybody could possibly eat that crap.

I am sorry to be the one to tell you this GB, but you should seek psychiatric help.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I had some naan last night. Awful, repulsive stuff. I have no idea how anybody could possibly eat that crap.

I am sorry to be the one to tell you this GB, but you should seek psychiatric help.

Your ex- sent me to one last Thursday. She said she was going to tell you.

 

[Annyong]

Naan sucks

Hiking sucks

Cats sucks

Pizza Ovens sucks

Moving sucks

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Naan sucks

Hiking sucks

Cats sucks

Pizza Ovens sucks

Moving sucks

2.5/5

Good for baseball, but failing everywhere else

 

[Limp Ditka]

Facebook feed blew up today with my friend's bat#### crazy ex wife giving birth to a son.

Things I know

This is her first child

She is bat#### crazy

She is 46 years old

Thing I assume

There's no possible way she stayed sober for 40 weeks

No man in her life

That leads me to think sperm donor

During the time my friend was married to this woman

Would stay up drinking by herself until sunrise (Homer - no offense)

Was prone to violent outbursts

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Brought strangers, at times the strangers had dogs, into their homes at all times of the day.

I genuinely fear for the safety of this child.

When I told my wife about this, and she is fully aware of all of the above, her reply was 'good for her'

I just shook my head at her and said that she's not the one that matters in this.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Naan sucks

Hiking sucks

Cats sucks

Pizza Ovens sucks

Moving sucks

Your face sucks!

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Facebook feed blew up today with my friend's bat#### crazy ex wife giving birth to a son.

Things I know

This is her first child

She is bat#### crazy

She is 46 years old

Thing I assume

There's no possible way she stayed sober for 40 weeks

No man in her life

That leads me to think sperm donor

During the time my friend was married to this woman

Would stay up drinking by herself until sunrise (Homer - no offense)

Was prone to violent outbursts

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Brought strangers, at times the strangers had dogs, into their homes at all times of the day.

I genuinely fear for the safety of this child.

When I told my wife about this, and she is fully aware of all of the above, her reply was 'good for her'

I just shook my head at her and said that she's not the one that matters in this.

Some of that sounds eerily familiar.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I saw a drunken stripper pee herself last night. I was far enough away to avoid the wet zone. I sincerely doubt she made it through her shift and got home safely. She soaked the bills and her fetish wear strewn about her stage. She seemed oblivious to the soaking as she stuffed the bills into her purse and then put on the soaked clothing items before stumbling from the stage. At the time the Kentucky game was on so there was little else to watch, that game being over as soon as it started.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

I saw a drunken stripper pee herself last night. I was far enough away to avoid the wet zone. I sincerely doubt she made it through her shift and got home safely. She soaked the bills and her fetish wear strewn about her stage. She seemed oblivious to the soaking as she stuffed the bills into her purse and then put on the soaked clothing items before stumbling from the stage. At the time the Kentucky game was on so there was little else to watch, that game being over as soon as it started.

Go on...

 

[urbanhack]

Page 2 save - somebody check on UH?

All good here.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

On a sort of similar note local radio had a topic today about things you did or said to have your significant other stop sexy time

One guy said his new GF was getting super wet and he blurted out "wow...we're gonna need a mop!"

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I saw a drunken stripper pee herself last night. I was far enough away to avoid the wet zone. I sincerely doubt she made it through her shift and got home safely. She soaked the bills and her fetish wear strewn about her stage. She seemed oblivious to the soaking as she stuffed the bills into her purse and then put on the soaked clothing items before stumbling from the stage. At the time the Kentucky game was on so there was little else to watch, that game being over as soon as it started.

Go on...

I left directly after. Didn't seem, to me, like the place to be, though that may not be true for others.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Page 2 save - somebody check on UH?

All good here.

How was the Europes?

 

[urbanhack]

Page 2 save - somebody check on UH?

All good here.

How was the Europes?

Fantastic. Two weeks for sights, food, drink and fun. Sucks to be back.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Facebook feed blew up today with my friend's bat#### crazy ex wife giving birth to a son.

Things I know

This is her first child

She is bat#### crazy

She is 46 years old

Thing I assume

There's no possible way she stayed sober for 40 weeks

No man in her life

That leads me to think sperm donor

During the time my friend was married to this woman

Would stay up drinking by herself until sunrise (Homer - no offense)

Was prone to violent outbursts

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Brought strangers, at times the strangers had dogs, into their homes at all times of the day.

I genuinely fear for the safety of this child.

When I told my wife about this, and she is fully aware of all of the above, her reply was 'good for her'

I just shook my head at her and said that she's not the one that matters in this.

Some of that sounds eerily familiar.

The only positive I can think of is that she's had dogs before and they didn't die under her care.

Of course she also gave each of those dogs away over time.

This has written all over it.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

I saw a drunken stripper pee herself last night. I was far enough away to avoid the wet zone. I sincerely doubt she made it through her shift and got home safely. She soaked the bills and her fetish wear strewn about her stage. She seemed oblivious to the soaking as she stuffed the bills into her purse and then put on the soaked clothing items before stumbling from the stage. At the time the Kentucky game was on so there was little else to watch, that game being over as soon as it started.

Go on...

I left directly after. Didn't seem, to me, like the place to be, though that may not be true for others.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Page 2 save - somebody check on UH?

All good here.

How was the Europes?

Fantastic. Two weeks for sights, food, drink and fun. Sucks to be back.

You guys looked like you were having a blast in the pics.

I gathered you went to London/South of England and maybe Amsterdam, but I lost track beyond that.

 

[urbanhack]

Page 2 save - somebody check on UH?

All good here.

How was the Europes?

Fantastic. Two weeks for sights, food, drink and fun. Sucks to be back.

You guys looked like you were having a blast in the pics.

I gathered you went to London/South of England and maybe Amsterdam, but I lost track beyond that.

London --> Amsterdam --> Paris

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Page 2 save - somebody check on UH?

All good here.

How was the Europes?

Fantastic. Two weeks for sights, food, drink and fun. Sucks to be back.

You guys looked like you were having a blast in the pics.

I gathered you went to London/South of England and maybe Amsterdam, but I lost track beyond that.

London --> Amsterdam --> Paris

Sounds like a great trip.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I saw a drunken stripper pee herself last night. I was far enough away to avoid the wet zone. I sincerely doubt she made it through her shift and got home safely. She soaked the bills and her fetish wear strewn about her stage. She seemed oblivious to the soaking as she stuffed the bills into her purse and then put on the soaked clothing items before stumbling from the stage. At the time the Kentucky game was on so there was little else to watch, that game being over as soon as it started.

Go on...

I left directly after. Didn't seem, to me, like the place to be, though that may not be true for others.

See now I feel like I let you down by not having a Paul Harvey "and now the Rest of the Story" moment to follow up with.

 

[walnutz]

Tech question for you guys --

Do any of you use VPN on your home PC for non work internet surfing. If so which one are you using? Appreciate it.

 

[UniAlias]

Page 2 save - somebody check on UH?

All good here.

How was the Europes?

Fantastic. Two weeks for sights, food, drink and fun. Sucks to be back.

You guys looked like you were having a blast in the pics.

I gathered you went to London/South of England and maybe Amsterdam, but I lost track beyond that.

London --> Amsterdam --> Paris

How many days in each?

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

See now I feel like I let you down by not having a Paul Harvey "and now the Rest of the Story" moment to follow up with.

Nah Counselor. You shouldn't feel responsible for indulging my prurient interests any more than you have.

For me to expect you to would be both rude and creepy.

 

[Henry Ford]

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Did anyone find it? Is it out there somewhere, waiting to be taken?

 

[El Floppo]

Facebook feed blew up today with my friend's bat#### crazy ex wife giving birth to a son.

Things I know

This is her first child

She is bat#### crazy

She is 46 years old

Thing I assume

There's no possible way she stayed sober for 40 weeks

No man in her life

That leads me to think sperm donor

During the time my friend was married to this woman

Would stay up drinking by herself until sunrise (Homer - no offense)

Was prone to violent outbursts

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Brought strangers, at times the strangers had dogs, into their homes at all times of the day.

I genuinely fear for the safety of this child.

When I told my wife about this, and she is fully aware of all of the above, her reply was 'good for her'

I just shook my head at her and said that she's not the one that matters in this.

is the kid's name Duke?

 

[urbanhack]

Tech question for you guys --

Do any of you use VPN on your home PC for non work internet surfing. If so which one are you using? Appreciate it.

Cisco

 

[urbanhack]

Page 2 save - somebody check on UH?

All good here.

How was the Europes?

Fantastic. Two weeks for sights, food, drink and fun. Sucks to be back.

You guys looked like you were having a blast in the pics.

I gathered you went to London/South of England and maybe Amsterdam, but I lost track beyond that.

London --> Amsterdam --> Paris

How many days in each?

5 / 4 / 5

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I saw a drunken stripper pee herself last night. I was far enough away to avoid the wet zone. I sincerely doubt she made it through her shift and got home safely. She soaked the bills and her fetish wear strewn about her stage. She seemed oblivious to the soaking as she stuffed the bills into her purse and then put on the soaked clothing items before stumbling from the stage. At the time the Kentucky game was on so there was little else to watch, that game being over as soon as it started.

How much extra did it cost?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Would stay up drinking by herself until sunrise (Homer - no offense)

I wasn't drinking by myself...I had you guys.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

She could be a great mom. Instead of sitting her kids down with her iphone 6 to keep them out of her hair for hours on end, they'd always be involved in more interactive activities, like scavenger hunts.

"Kids, mommy left home with 9 things last night, and she only came home with 4. So we're going to spend today trying to find the other 5. Here's your list:

-diaphragm

-iphone 6

-Fluffy. But she's chipped, so don't worry if you don't find her. Maybe check near that Korean restaurant on 5th and Oak first.

-BMW 328i. License plate 40HANDS

-Shelby

Whoever finds the most gets an Otter Pop. But don't touch the ones on the top shelf. Those are mommy's special freeze pops with the adult juice in them."

 

[Limp Ditka]

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Did anyone find it? Is it out there somewhere, waiting to be taken?

It was found 3-4 days later.

Long story short

Blew a red light

Got pulled over

Cops parked car and put her in a cab home, which led everyone to believe that the red light wasn't the only thing she blew that night

No memory of where car was parked

 

[Limp Ditka]

She could be a great mom. Instead of sitting her kids down with her iphone 6 to keep them out of her hair for hours on end, they'd always be involved in more interactive activities, like scavenger hunts.

"Kids, mommy left home with 9 things last night, and she only came home with 4. So we're going to spend today trying to find the other 5. Here's your list:

-diaphragm

-iphone 6

-Fluffy. But she's chipped, so don't worry if you don't find her. Maybe check near that Korean restaurant on 5th and Oak first.

-BMW 328i. License plate 40HANDS

-Shelby

Whoever finds the most gets an Otter Pop. But don't touch the ones on the top shelf. Those are mommy's special freeze pops with the adult juice in them."

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Did anyone find it? Is it out there somewhere, waiting to be taken?

the red light wasn't the only thing she blew that night

chunks is her dog.

 

[Thorn]

Facebook feed blew up today with my friend's bat#### crazy ex wife giving birth to a son.

Things I know

This is her first child

She is bat#### crazy

She is 46 years old

Thing I assume

There's no possible way she stayed sober for 40 weeks

No man in her life

That leads me to think sperm donor

During the time my friend was married to this woman

Would stay up drinking by herself until sunrise (Homer - no offense)

Was prone to violent outbursts

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Brought strangers, at times the strangers had dogs, into their homes at all times of the day.

I genuinely fear for the safety of this child.

When I told my wife about this, and she is fully aware of all of the above, her reply was 'good for her'

I just shook my head at her and said that she's not the one that matters in this.

at "stooper"

at literally losing a car

 

[Sammy3469]

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Did anyone find it? Is it out there somewhere, waiting to be taken?

It was found 3-4 days later.

Long story short

Blew a red light

Got pulled over

Cops parked car and put her in a cab home, which led everyone to believe that the red light wasn't the only thing she blew that night

No memory of where car was parked

Go on....

you mentioned sperm donor in the initial post...couldn't she just have been knocked up?

 

[Limp Ditka]

Literally lost a BMW in a drunken stooper

Did anyone find it? Is it out there somewhere, waiting to be taken?

It was found 3-4 days later.

Long story short

Blew a red light

Got pulled over

Cops parked car and put her in a cab home, which led everyone to believe that the red light wasn't the only thing she blew that night

No memory of where car was parked

Go on....

you mentioned sperm donor in the initial post...couldn't she just have been knocked up?

This was about 5 years ago. So unless my friends ex is YSR....