Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Did this homeless person try to spread anything with this spoon?
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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (19 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
General Malaise
Footballguy
Rustoleum
Footballguy
If you want to sell to my wife:
C. Take the $20 item. Mark it down 25%. Now mark it down 30% more. Final price $10.50.
"But honey, I saved 55%!!!"
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
go vote for typsy in his thread
krista4
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
New Yorker caption contest but everything has to do with sucking some D. http://suckmydicknewyorker.tumblr.com
Ignoramus
Footballguy
Saw something the other day that said every New Yorker caption could be "Christ, what an #######!" Seems legit.
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Ignoramus
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
Yesterday as I was wrapping up my walk I saw a guy in a convertible BMW broken down on a busy street. At first I thought it was another meanie looking at their phone. As I got closer I realized the car was immobile. Putting myself and the dog at great risk I approached the said vehicle after noticing the handicapable plates and gray hair. "Sir" I asked him, "can I help you?". Only then did I notice it was a women. Fetching women at that for 69. I guess the sun was in my eyes. She was fiddling with her phone trying to call AAA but looked a little flustered. I called a tow truck for her and then directed traffic so people would stop honking their horn. Pretty sure she thought I was going to rob her or something because I look all bad ### in my skull cap and being black and all. After we talked she was cool and very grateful. I was also happy to report that five other men offered to help as I stood watch. Of course lets not take our eye off the ball, I'm the real hero here. A cop finally showed up and it was the guy I know, met, because he's always running radar. He pulls up and asks me what was going on and after I told him, he shakes his head, laughs and says "I'm recommending you to be deputized!" I'm really hoping he does, it would look good with my honorary Major Case Squad card.
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Wouldn't deputy be a demotion?
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
Where's Imp?
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Back when my oldest son was in kindergarten he played tee ball. I helped coach.
There was one kid on the team named Blaine. This kid was effeminate as all get out.
He ran with his hands up by his shoulders kinda like a T-Rex. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ed/ef/32/edef3216badb4fc92c5a8a89e902bb37.jpg
He threw the ball with his hands at the same position. http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/06/throw-like-a-girl-gif.gif And you never knew where it was going to go because he would whip his head from right to left as he threw. He had no concept of looking at the target.
As far as batting is concerned I don't think he once hit the ball cleanly off the tee all season. Half the time he would hit the tee about 6 inches below the ball. The other half of the time he would whiff about 6 inches above the ball.
I also seem to remember he jumped out of the way of very slow ground ball while playing 3rd base. There might have been some squealing too.
Oh, and he could never remember which hand his glove was supposed to go on. Pretty sure he had to be reminded at least 4 times a game.
Watching Blaine play tee ball was probably the worst exhibition of athletic skill I've ever seen.
The Redskins performance tonight is a very close second.
There was one kid on the team named Blaine. This kid was effeminate as all get out.
He ran with his hands up by his shoulders kinda like a T-Rex. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ed/ef/32/edef3216badb4fc92c5a8a89e902bb37.jpg
He threw the ball with his hands at the same position. http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/06/throw-like-a-girl-gif.gif And you never knew where it was going to go because he would whip his head from right to left as he threw. He had no concept of looking at the target.
As far as batting is concerned I don't think he once hit the ball cleanly off the tee all season. Half the time he would hit the tee about 6 inches below the ball. The other half of the time he would whiff about 6 inches above the ball.
I also seem to remember he jumped out of the way of very slow ground ball while playing 3rd base. There might have been some squealing too.
Oh, and he could never remember which hand his glove was supposed to go on. Pretty sure he had to be reminded at least 4 times a game.
Watching Blaine play tee ball was probably the worst exhibition of athletic skill I've ever seen.
The Redskins performance tonight is a very close second.
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Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
And right on cue they return a kickoff for a TD 
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
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belljr
Footballguy
So I'm not sure how to help my 10 year old.
She's a perfectionist and when things don't go right especially in sports she gets mad , and overly upset and things just spin out of cobtrol. I try not to push her but am hard on her sometimes. She's had this issue since she was very little. I just don't know what to do.
She's a perfectionist and when things don't go right especially in sports she gets mad , and overly upset and things just spin out of cobtrol. I try not to push her but am hard on her sometimes. She's had this issue since she was very little. I just don't know what to do.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Turn her into a Bears fan. Eventually enough of her will die inside and she'll learn to take disappointment in stride.belljr said:
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Sell her to China, imo. They'll straighten her out.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Look at this ####### guy.Sheriff Bart said:
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Foosball God
Foos
The American President?
Foosball God
Foos
Driving Miss Daisy?
Frostillicus
Footballguy
What about Bob?
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
What?
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
My GB that I used to play football with coaches our son's baseball team. During their game Tuesday night, his son, playing right field, twice attempted to throw the ball to second base and it ended up in the dugout on the first base side. Kind of felt like my GB was Tank Bates.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
krista4
Footballguy
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
Cal just called and left me a VM which is funny since he's at school. Oh and he doesn't have a cell phone. He was very clear though, DO NOT call this number back.
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
I use it to vacuum the basement. I would have one for the other floors too but my stupid family are slobs.Will check those out, too.
krista4
Footballguy
I use it to vacuum the basement. I would have one for the other floors too but my stupid family are slobs.
Mr. krista won't let me get our cats laminated, and I'm tired of vacuuming multiple times per day.I use it to vacuum the basement. I would have one for the other floors too but my stupid family are slobs.
General Malaise
Footballguy
I actually enjoy sweeping. I find it to be cathartic.
krista4
Footballguy
Actually I do, too. Weird.
It's just gotten to be too much when I'm doing it 2 or 3 times a day.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
How often do you have to empty a roomba? That's always been my concern I guess.
belljr
Footballguy
AngerCrying
Last night was full meltdown crying episode.
She is so afraid to mess up. Even though I tell her to try your best it's ok to mess up
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
Shave your, um, cat?I use it to vacuum the basement. I would have one for the other floors too but my stupid family are slobs.Mr. krista won't let me get our cats laminated, and I'm tired of vacuuming multiple times per day.I use it to vacuum the basement. I would have one for the other floors too but my stupid family are slobs.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
I have mine vacuum once a week and usually have to empty it every other week. Takes 10 seconds, a lot better than vacuuming the entire basement. Ha, stupid robot.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
