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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (9 Viewers)

Huh. I was just exposed to so much crazy from Icelandic chick that I think I'm now dating French chick exclusively. Maybe. She could be lying. Cause she's a woman and all.

 
Abraham said:
I don't think it's fair that no one tells you in advance how much of a pain in the ### kids are. And they definitely don't tell you how the curve of going from 1 to 2 is exponentially worse than just having 1. I'm pretty much at that point where when I am home, one of the other humans in the house needs me to do something for them or is complaining that I'm not doing something for them. I can't even imagine what 3 kids is like.

4 seems like it would be way past the point of sanity.

Can you imagine people with 5 kids? Seriously?
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That just means you are living with a woman.

GM, I will swap places with you for the next 15 years. I will gladly take 4 boys and 1 girl over 3 girls. Yesterday the 5 year old threw a fit every time we said no. She made a sandwich using the last piece of cheese, wanted to make a second one and i told her she couldn't since she just ate the last piece of cheese. Flopped on the floor and starting kicking and throwing stuff. Awesome!!! I know it is a phase, and she will grow out of it just in time for her younger sister to reach that phase.

Oh, and my wife managed to break the engraved wine glass she just got for Christmas. Apparently I have been doing the dishes wrong all these years. Instead of placing the dirty dishes in the empty dishwasher you are supposed to just toss them all in the sink. And the appropriate way to fill the sink in the following order: Wine glass and drinking glasses laying down in sink, cover them with a plastic placemat, place several dinner plates on top, add a few kids bowls, then put the large popcorn bowl on top so there is no way to use the sink anymore (but hey, there is nothing on the counter now), wait 10 seconds and then hear the sounds of glass breaking when something shifts.

 
I understand all of this. All of it. I have two daughters and one is in perpetual angry phase and the other is in 1000 questions a day phase. My wife gets aggravated because I'm aggravated - "you will miss this one day when they are older" to which I replied "only because that means I'll be older too" which made her mad.

I can't believe this is how we are meant to spend our 30's and 40's. Probably better in medieval times when you got to father a couple kids then go die in battle.

 
UOFI_316 said:
Abraham said:
I don't think it's fair that no one tells you in advance how much of a pain in the ### kids are. And they definitely don't tell you how the curve of going from 1 to 2 is exponentially worse than just having 1. I'm pretty much at that point where when I am home, one of the other humans in the house needs me to do something for them or is complaining that I'm not doing something for them. I can't even imagine what 3 kids is like.

4 seems like it would be way past the point of sanity.

Can you imagine people with 5 kids? Seriously?
Click to expand...
That just means you are living with a woman.

GM, I will swap places with you for the next 15 years. I will gladly take 4 boys and 1 girl over 3 girls. Yesterday the 5 year old threw a fit every time we said no. She made a sandwich using the last piece of cheese, wanted to make a second one and i told her she couldn't since she just ate the last piece of cheese. Flopped on the floor and starting kicking and throwing stuff. Awesome!!! I know it is a phase, and she will grow out of it just in time for her younger sister to reach that phase.

Oh, and my wife managed to break the engraved wine glass she just got for Christmas. Apparently I have been doing the dishes wrong all these years. Instead of placing the dirty dishes in the empty dishwasher you are supposed to just toss them all in the sink. And the appropriate way to fill the sink in the following order: Wine glass and drinking glasses laying down in sink, cover them with a plastic placemat, place several dinner plates on top, add a few kids bowls, then put the large popcorn bowl on top so there is no way to use the sink anymore (but hey, there is nothing on the counter now), wait 10 seconds and then hear the sounds of glass breaking when something shifts.
Click to expand...
You should have just let her make another sandwich.
 
UOFI_316 said:
Abraham said:
I don't think it's fair that no one tells you in advance how much of a pain in the ### kids are. And they definitely don't tell you how the curve of going from 1 to 2 is exponentially worse than just having 1. I'm pretty much at that point where when I am home, one of the other humans in the house needs me to do something for them or is complaining that I'm not doing something for them. I can't even imagine what 3 kids is like.

4 seems like it would be way past the point of sanity.

Can you imagine people with 5 kids? Seriously?
Click to expand...
That just means you are living with a woman.

GM, I will swap places with you for the next 15 years. I will gladly take 4 boys and 1 girl over 3 girls. Yesterday the 5 year old threw a fit every time we said no. She made a sandwich using the last piece of cheese, wanted to make a second one and i told her she couldn't since she just ate the last piece of cheese. Flopped on the floor and starting kicking and throwing stuff. Awesome!!! I know it is a phase, and she will grow out of it just in time for her younger sister to reach that phase.

Oh, and my wife managed to break the engraved wine glass she just got for Christmas. Apparently I have been doing the dishes wrong all these years. Instead of placing the dirty dishes in the empty dishwasher you are supposed to just toss them all in the sink. And the appropriate way to fill the sink in the following order: Wine glass and drinking glasses laying down in sink, cover them with a plastic placemat, place several dinner plates on top, add a few kids bowls, then put the large popcorn bowl on top so there is no way to use the sink anymore (but hey, there is nothing on the counter now), wait 10 seconds and then hear the sounds of glass breaking when something shifts.
Click to expand...
Throw in some cucumber (Apple, potato) peels and some plates of half eaten food and the paper towel you used to wipe the kids faces and it'll look like my sink. Run some water or milk over it for good measure

If only there was a person who stayed home with the kids all day that could empty the dishwasher and load the dirty dishes as they get used throughout the day

 
JR peppering me with a million questions about what I actually do all day for a living. I don't even really know what it is. How am I supposed to explain it to a six year old?

Now at the Children's Museum. Delicate balance here between the positives of being surrounded by yoga pants MILFs and the negatives of having a million screaming kids around. Screaming kids currently in the lead.

And JR just hit Yuke in the head with a plastic frying pan in the pretend kitchen.

 
bentley said:
JR peppering me with a million questions about what I actually do all day for a living. I don't even really know what it is. How am I supposed to explain it to a six year old?
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Too bad search doesn't work or you could just refer him to your posts in here.
 
Our kids are pretty well behaved (my wife's family is a very laid back peaceful bunch so they got her personality - I'm more grumpy and whiny and sarcastic) but I will say that parents always seem to rate their kids worse than others. It's probably because we are around our kids all the time.

My 7 year old makes noises/sound effects after every single thing that happens. Stop at a red light? She makes a noise. Tell her to brush her teeth? She whines like a dog. Tell her we are going to dance class? She starts beat boxing. I'm talking 100's of sounds a day. Drives my wife insane.

 
mr roboto said:
Our kids are pretty well behaved (my wife's family is a very laid back peaceful bunch so they got her personality - I'm more grumpy and whiny and sarcastic) but I will say that parents always seem to rate their kids worse than others. It's probably because we are around our kids all the time.

My 7 year old makes noises/sound effects after every single thing that happens. Stop at a red light? She makes a noise. Tell her to brush her teeth? She whines like a dog. Tell her we are going to dance class? She starts beat boxing. I'm talking 100's of sounds a day. Drives my wife insane.
Click to expand...
Mr. Pickles said:
General Malaise said:
My 3 YO daughter punched my wife in the face for having the audacity to try and correct her on which shoe goes on which foot.
Click to expand...
Our 4 year old has taken to spitting on us like we're poor Irish immigrants.
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:lmao:

I made a NY resolution to be more patient with my kids, but dammit- they're awful human beings, so screw that.

 
El Floppo said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Had a good story but it hurts to type since I fell down drunk yesterday afternoon and sprained, pull, everything in my left hand.
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there he is!
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:lmao: My wife has a lot of hot nurses at her work. Oh man. Me drunk around a lot of hot nurses was good times. I may never be invited to another work party again though. Guess I'll find out tomorrow after she gets home. Was pretty obnoxious. :bag:

 
St. Louis Bob said:
El Floppo said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Had a good story but it hurts to type since I fell down drunk yesterday afternoon and sprained, pull, everything in my left hand.
Click to expand...
there he is!
Click to expand...
:lmao: My wife has a lot of hot nurses at her work. Oh man. Me drunk around a lot of hot nurses was good times. I may never be invited to another work party again though. Guess I'll find out tomorrow after she gets home. Was pretty obnoxious. :bag:
Click to expand...
:lmao: I miss those times ...waiting to hear what I said ...or did ...or groped.

 
my 6 yr old daughter got to sleep with mom and dad in the big bed on Friday night. I woke up saturday morning with her taking turns scratching my back and then my wifes back. that was nice.

so my wife gets up to go to the bathroom and i hear this loud fart. My daughter then announces "I FARTED" really loud and then she jumps on my wifes pillow and says "IM RUBBING MY FART ON YOUR PILLOW MOM!"

i couldn't stop laughing. nice kid

 
mr roboto said:
Our kids are pretty well behaved (my wife's family is a very laid back peaceful bunch so they got her personality - I'm more grumpy and whiny and sarcastic) but I will say that parents always seem to rate their kids worse than others. It's probably because we are around our kids all the time.

My 7 year old makes noises/sound effects after every single thing that happens. Stop at a red light? She makes a noise. Tell her to brush her teeth? She whines like a dog. Tell her we are going to dance class? She starts beat boxing. I'm talking 100's of sounds a day. Drives my wife insane.
Click to expand...
My kids are extremely well behaved. Doesn't seem to help anything. :shrug:

 
bentley said:
JR peppering me with a million questions about what I actually do all day for a living. I don't even really know what it is. How am I supposed to explain it to a six year old?

Now at the Children's Museum. Delicate balance here between the positives of being surrounded by yoga pants MILFs and the negatives of having a million screaming kids around. Screaming kids currently in the lead.

And JR just hit Yuke in the head with a plastic frying pan in the pretend kitchen.
Click to expand...
My wife doesn't understand what I do and why it matters at all. That's a good feeling.

 
Abraham said:
bentley said:
JR peppering me with a million questions about what I actually do all day for a living. I don't even really know what it is. How am I supposed to explain it to a six year old?

Now at the Children's Museum. Delicate balance here between the positives of being surrounded by yoga pants MILFs and the negatives of having a million screaming kids around. Screaming kids currently in the lead.

And JR just hit Yuke in the head with a plastic frying pan in the pretend kitchen.
Click to expand...
My wife doesn't understand what I do and why it matters at all. That's a good feeling.
Click to expand...
Bentley doesn't know what he does. That's either frightening or awesome.

 
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