GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (9 Viewers)

[Binky The Doormat]

what the ####?

I went to a father/daughter ball tonight. afterward went to my friend's house and dropped the kids off, went to the bar down the street and met a beautiful blonde that lives in portland. took her back to my friend's place and hung out for a while and got her number. called a taxi, and the driver was this very cute mexican girl that has driven me home before. she remembered where I lived an asked if she could take the long way to my house. I had no idea what that meant, but said yes, because why not? she drove me around for half an hour blasting music on her stereo, then took me home, made out with me and didn't charge me anything, gave me her number and asked me out.

what the hell just happened? this can't be real.

That's awesome.

I'm jealous. Not proud of it.

Take me with you.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Telling my wife that law school was not going to happen at the age of 35 led rather quickly to divorce. So not becoming a lawyer may have been the best thing that ever happened to me.

Did she want to go to law school or did she want you to go to law school?

She wanted us to move in with her parents in Waco and for me to go to Baylor Law.

Which part of that request broke the camel's back? I'm waffling between "Waco" & "move in with her parents", but maybe "Baylor Law" is the stealth pick.

 

[kevzilla]

Telling my wife that law school was not going to happen at the age of 35 led rather quickly to divorce. So not becoming a lawyer may have been the best thing that ever happened to me.

Did she want to go to law school or did she want you to go to law school?

She wanted us to move in with her parents in Waco and for me to go to Baylor Law.

Which part of that request broke the camel's back? I'm waffling between "Waco" & "move in with her parents", but maybe "Baylor Law" is the stealth pick.

Take your pick, GB. No way we could have afforded a private law school, or any other tbh.

Her mother had a shelf near the ceiling, running throughout the house, with hundreds of dolls staring at you. I wouldn't spend the night there, much less move in.

And Waco. I mean, seriously.

So anyway, she lined up husband #3 in fairly short order.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

This game needs more fumbles.

 

[El Floppo]

What's wrong with 100s of dolls staring at you?

 

[Rustoleum]

What's wrong with 100s of dolls staring at you?

This would have been considered ideal back in Tanner's day.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

What's wrong with 100s of dolls staring at you?

They judge you while you masterbate.

Really makes you feel awful about yourself.

 

[tommyboy]

What's wrong with 100s of dolls staring at you?

They judge you while you masterbate.

Really makes you feel awful about yourself.

Thats hot

 

[kevzilla]

Dozens of Chuckys in every room.

 

[Henry Ford]

What's wrong with 100s of dolls staring at you?

They judge you while you masterbate.

Really makes you feel awful about yourself.

Hypothetically, what would it cost to rent these hundreds of dolls who judge one while one masturbates and make one feel awful about himself?

 

[bostonfred]

The uptick in superbowl babies in Denver will be matched only by the uptick in masturshamed kleenex in Carolina tonight

 

[bentley]

Doing this stupid 150 mile bike ride again this year in April. Don't think I can count on the first day being rained out again.

25 on the bike today. My taint is killing me. The real challenge is going to be getting on the bike tomorrow and doing the same thing again. Good thing I'm done having kids.

Shoot me a fb message with your address and I'll send you a present.

Got it. Thanks for the bike advice. Ended up getting the Specialized base model.

Did 20 today. It wasn't too bad. Actually a little faster than yesterday.

 

[Ignoramus]

Denver won the Super Bowl, plus I won $400 on the $10 office boxes pool. Milos wishes he were sucking my cawck right about now.

 

[krista4]

Denver won the Super Bowl, plus I won $400 on the $10 office boxes pool. Milos wishes he were sucking my cawck right about now.

I am glad you won some $$ on this, because I couldn't find anything else to like about that game. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnn.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Denver won the Super Bowl, plus I won $400 on the $10 office boxes pool. Milos wishes he were sucking my cawck right about now.

I am glad you won some $$ on this, because I couldn't find anything else to like about that game. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnn.

Cam Newton's look of frustration was okay by me. I'm not even a hardcore Cam-hater, but I am not a fan either.

Other than that, it was awful.

 

[Ignoramus]

As a biased fan, I'll take a boring win over your entertainment. Sorry, I guess.

 

[Frostillicus]

Denver won the Super Bowl, plus I won $400 on the $10 office boxes pool. Milos wishes he were sucking my cawck right about now.

I am glad you won some $$ on this, because I couldn't find anything else to like about that game. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwnnnnnnn.

This is why you gamble. Tonight was a non-stop thrill ride.

 

[krista4]

As a biased fan, I'll take a boring win over your entertainment. Sorry, I guess.

That's cool. It's nice that your happiness is more important than a billion other people's, I guess.

 

[Ignoramus]

It is.

 

[bentley]

Doing this stupid 150 mile bike ride again this year in April. Don't think I can count on the first day being rained out again.

25 on the bike today. My taint is killing me. The real challenge is going to be getting on the bike tomorrow and doing the same thing again. Good thing I'm done having kids.

Shoot me a fb message with your address and I'll send you a present.

Got it. Thanks for the bike advice. Ended up getting the Specialized base model.Did 20 today. It wasn't too bad. Actually a little faster than yesterday.

Nice!

If it's not too far out of your way, you should go back to the shop you bought it from and have them measure your sit bones. Get that exact number from them and send it to me too.

You want me to ask some dude to measure the width of my cornhole?

 

[krista4]

It is.

An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Pretty crap SB. Terrible commercials too.

 

[Abraham]

Im drunk on a plane that can't find a gate at LAX. But at least I didn't have to watch horse face Elway come take all the credit for a super bowl win.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

http://m.imgur.com/JHtkNOd

 

[Homer J Simpson]

http://m.imgur.com/JHtkNOd

If that was full time, I'd be all over it.

 

[bostonfred]

My wife is singing a song from one of my son's favorite cartoons, super why. Just heard her sing

Double you ecks why spells why, super why he's a super guy

 

[General Malaise]

Co-worker has a son Kellen's age - 13. He went to a SuperBowl party yesterday with about 18 other kids his age. At halftime, they decided to walk over to the local middle school where one of the brainiacs thought it might be cool to scale the walls, get up on the roof and then capture the feat with their cell phones and plastering social media with pictures and videos of the achievement.

I think it probably took 10 maybe 15 seconds before parental phones started buzzing with texts and social media alerts asking "Hey, is that your son on top of the middle school roof"?

All I can say is I'm just thankful that social media and cell phones weren't around when I was 13.

 

[General Malaise]

Also, I can't say for certain, but I think Kellen might have a girlfriend. When Kellen was in elementary school, he was big into Battle of the Books and helped his team reach the regional finals a few times. One of the girls in his school - Olivia - was his nemesis on another team, who wanted badly to join Kellen's team. He wasn't having it. Couldn't stand her.

Well, two years ago, they bought a house on our block, much to Kellen's chagrin. But a funny thing happened along the way. The two of them are now on the same Battle of the Books team. The other day, I was driving the boys to school as it was raining and we saw Olivia walking. She flagged us down, asked for a lift and I told her I'd need to move Hazel's car seat. She said "don't bother, I'll just squeeze in next to Kellen". And then yesterday, we hosted a Super Bowl party with friends, family and the neighbors next door. And who shows up out of the blue? Yup, Olivia. Just sauntered on in, grabbed a plate of food, sat down on the couch next to Kellen and watched the Super Bowl with us.

ANOTHER WIN FOR MILOS!

 

[Henry Ford]

A plastic Raising Cane's bag just blew by my office window.

I'm on the 8th floor. I think it might be a little windy outside.

 

[Chemical X]

kellen and Olivia bought a house? congrats

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

kellen and Olivia bought a house? congrats

Now THAT'S a house related TV show I would watch.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

How old is Kellen?

 

[Chemical X]

kellen and Olivia bought a house? congrats

Now THAT'S a house related TV show I would watch.

house hunters junior

 

[Dan Lambskin]

I'm Guessing 13

 

[Tiger Fan]

9 day update?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

The two of them are now on the same Battle of the Books team.

http://i.imgur.com/cyOOP4o.jpg

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Co-worker has a son Kellen's age - 13.

All I can say is I'm just thankful that social media and cell phones weren't around when I was 13.

How old is Kellen?

I'm Guessing 13

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I'm Guessing 13

That's a little young to be sporting a beard.

heyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 

[General Malaise]

How old is Kellen?

13 and in 7th grade. Pretty sharp kid.

 

[General Malaise]

I'm Guessing 13

That's a little young to be sporting a beard.

heyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

nice!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

How old is Kellen?

13 and in 7th grade. Pretty sharp kid.

Pffft....I was 12 in 7th grade.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

How old is Kellen?

13 and in 7th grade. Pretty sharp kid.

Pffft....I was 12 in 7th grade.

I was 11 when I started. I remember an 8th grade girl on the bus showing interest in me and asked how old I was and of course I told her 11. She was like 15 I think and unfortunately not a pedo

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

https://twitter.com/alsoconnor/status/696742546173771776

Need to have sound on to get the effect.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I finished

http://m.nwfdailynews.com/news/20160201/shoplifting-suspect-leaves-cell-phone-puddle-of-urine-at-crime-scene

 

[tommyboy]

Hey boys, we got a squirter.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

http://m.imgur.com/2Nmr1rZ

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Also, I can't say for certain, but I think Kellen might have a girlfriend. When Kellen was in elementary school, he was big into Battle of the Books and helped his team reach the regional finals a few times. One of the girls in his school - Olivia - was his nemesis on another team, who wanted badly to join Kellen's team. He wasn't having it. Couldn't stand her.

Well, two years ago, they bought a house on our block, much to Kellen's chagrin. But a funny thing happened along the way. The two of them are now on the same Battle of the Books team. The other day, I was driving the boys to school as it was raining and we saw Olivia walking. She flagged us down, asked for a lift and I told her I'd need to move Hazel's car seat. She said "don't bother, I'll just squeeze in next to Kellen". And then yesterday, we hosted a Super Bowl party with friends, family and the neighbors next door. And who shows up out of the blue? Yup, Olivia. Just sauntered on in, grabbed a plate of food, sat down on the couch next to Kellen and watched the Super Bowl with us.

ANOTHER WIN FOR MILOS!

Is she hot?

 

[General Malaise]

Also, I can't say for certain, but I think Kellen might have a girlfriend. When Kellen was in elementary school, he was big into Battle of the Books and helped his team reach the regional finals a few times. One of the girls in his school - Olivia - was his nemesis on another team, who wanted badly to join Kellen's team. He wasn't having it. Couldn't stand her.

Well, two years ago, they bought a house on our block, much to Kellen's chagrin. But a funny thing happened along the way. The two of them are now on the same Battle of the Books team. The other day, I was driving the boys to school as it was raining and we saw Olivia walking. She flagged us down, asked for a lift and I told her I'd need to move Hazel's car seat. She said "don't bother, I'll just squeeze in next to Kellen". And then yesterday, we hosted a Super Bowl party with friends, family and the neighbors next door. And who shows up out of the blue? Yup, Olivia. Just sauntered on in, grabbed a plate of food, sat down on the couch next to Kellen and watched the Super Bowl with us.

ANOTHER WIN FOR MILOS!

Is she hot?

I'm just delighted she is a she.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

http://m.imgur.com/2Nmr1rZ

2

1

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Also, I can't say for certain, but I think Kellen might have a girlfriend. When Kellen was in elementary school, he was big into Battle of the Books and helped his team reach the regional finals a few times. One of the girls in his school - Olivia - was his nemesis on another team, who wanted badly to join Kellen's team. He wasn't having it. Couldn't stand her.

Well, two years ago, they bought a house on our block, much to Kellen's chagrin. But a funny thing happened along the way. The two of them are now on the same Battle of the Books team. The other day, I was driving the boys to school as it was raining and we saw Olivia walking. She flagged us down, asked for a lift and I told her I'd need to move Hazel's car seat. She said "don't bother, I'll just squeeze in next to Kellen". And then yesterday, we hosted a Super Bowl party with friends, family and the neighbors next door. And who shows up out of the blue? Yup, Olivia. Just sauntered on in, grabbed a plate of food, sat down on the couch next to Kellen and watched the Super Bowl with us.

ANOTHER WIN FOR MILOS!

Is she hot?

I'm just delighted she is a she.

i