What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (18 Viewers)

A guy I used to play cards with died recently.   It was sad.   He was a Vietnam veteran whose life got ####ed up pretty badly by agent orange. He was constantly sick and  didn't take care of himself so he was in a lot of discomfort towards the end,  and sadly,  he started to be more difficult to be around. He was also a compulsive gambler and used to borrow money against his next month's check to get by.   It was rumored that he sold his pain pills to get money to gamble, or sometimes get a hooker.  And outside of gambling he was exceptionally frugal, so he was living in a crap apartment, eating junk food,  and while I never saw him actually pay a girl to have sex with him, the women who i suspected were some busted up,  snaggle toothed specimens who probably didn't have a lot of other customers.   Eventually his friends and family started dissociating themselves with him and his son in law, who had loaned him loads of money that will never get paid back, had him cremated immediately after he died so there was no funeral.  It really bummed me out when I found that out.  I saw some of his old poker buddies last night, guys who had been fighting with him more and more towards the end, and expected them to still be mad at him,  or maybe to feel bad he died.   What I did not expect was for them to be laughing.  I guess the day after he died some woman started screaming when she found out.  Turns out hours before he died he got a blow  job from this random, ugly as hell hooker, and he hadn't paid her yet.   I don't think there's a better eulogy for the guy.   Good luck in the next life buddy.  And thank you for your service.  

 
Brought the boys to their dentist appointment today since Mrs. SLB had to work.  Very unusual case of female co-worker getting knocked up, giving birth, then right as her maternity leave is up and summer starts, she quits.  Which means my wife "gets" all of her hours.

Anyhow, there were a couple of guys from AT&T working in the office and I didn't really think much of it.  The boys were in the chair(s) and I was trying to get some work done.  When they were finished the doctor comes out and tells me that he is really impressed with Cal.  Not for his dental habits, although they are very good for his age, but his intelligence.  Doc wanted a wifi connection for their patients to use but AT&T guy said they couldn't do it because it violated HIPPA.  Cal, in the chair waiting his exam after the cleaning tells the AT&T guy to just set up a separate guest wifi then it won't violate the law.  AT&T guy says let me check on that, leaves the office, comes back a few minutes later and tells the doc, "you know, he's right, that will work".  So now doc has wifi at the office for his staff and his patients and I got my new sleeping appliance comped.  Thanks Cal! :thumbup:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
proninja said:
My wife's grandmother is in failing health, and next week she's taking our spawn and heading to iowa for a week. 

I'm a little disappointed with myself because of how much I'm looking forward to a week alone. 
Click to expand...
God that sounds amazing.

 
-fish- said:
I have tried the genie joke on 7 women on an online dating site.   All 7 stopped messaging.  
Click to expand...
I told it last night to four people.  The two I thought would like it walked off.  The other two, who I was sure would hate it, laughed hysterically for a few minutes each. 

 
I just told the genie joke to my wife.  She said I don't get it.  I spun my arms around again and bobbed my head and said I think I made a huge mistake with my eyes and mouth wide open in my best happy dog telling a great joke face.  She said good night Fred and walked away. 

 
still giggling. funniest thing i've read this week.

http://www.crossingbroad.com/2016/06/was-walter-thurmond-iii-playing-on-a-local-softball-team-under-the-alias-****-mahoney.html

 
Huh.  One response was "I think there'a something wrong with you" accompanied by a topless picture.  So 0-7 on it being funny, but a total success.

 
Well, can't imagine having a much worse week than Orlando has had. First that singer got killed by her stalker "fan", then the horrific 50+ person mass shooting, and now a 2 year old dragged away from her mom by an alligator at the Grand Floridian inside Disney World. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
GroveDiesel said:
Well, can't imagine having a much more bad week than Orlando has had. First that singer got killed be her stalker "fan", then the horrific 50+ person mass shooting, and now a 2 year old dragged away from her mom at the Grand Floridian inside Disney World. 
Click to expand...
nuke it from orbit

 
GroveDiesel said:
Well, can't imagine having a much more bad week than Orlando has had. First that singer got killed be her stalker "fan", then the horrific 50+ person mass shooting, and now a 2 year old dragged away from her mom at the Grand Floridian inside Disney World. 
Click to expand...
You kind of left out a critical detail here....

An alligator attacked and dragged a 2-year-old boy into the water Tuesday night while he was playing on a beach near a resort in Orlando, police said.

A massive search was still under way Wednesday morning, with more than 50 law-enforcement officers and wildlife officials scouring the lake for the boy, reports NBC.

Jeff Williamson, a spokesman for the Orange County Sheriff’s Department, described it as a “search and rescue operation” during a Wednesday morning press conference. “We are very hopeful,” he said at a morning news conference. “Sometimes you get the worst, but we are hoping for the best.”

The child was playing in the shallows of the lake with his father near Disney’s Grand Floridian Resort & Spa when the alligator — described as being between 4 ft. and 7 ft. long — attacked.
Click to expand...


My god....I just.....man.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's thread about nothing
4998 4999 5000
Replies
250K
Views
6M
rockaction
rockaction

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 13 (members: 0, guests: 13)
Back
Top