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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (7 Viewers)

Why I'm justified in having no respect for women, chapter 41:

Remember married former playboy model?  The one that lied to me and said she was getting divorced, and then didn't, so I waved her off?  She texted me and said her husband has inoperable cancer.  "So I'm going to be single soon!"

1.  Is this the single worst person ever?

2.  (Homer only)  still hit it, right?

 
Why I'm justified in having no respect for women, chapter 41:

Remember married former playboy model?  The one that lied to me and said she was getting divorced, and then didn't, so I waved her off?  She texted me and said her husband has inoperable cancer.  "So I'm going to be single soon!"

1.  Is this the single worst person ever?

2.  (Homer only)  still hit it, right?
JFC.

 
1. There are days I'm reasonably certain that would be my wife's reaction.

There are days it would likely be warranted.

2. You probably shouldn't trust anything she wants you to put in your body.  The other way around is probably safe. 

 
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Why I'm justified in having no respect for women, chapter 41:

Remember married former playboy model?  The one that lied to me and said she was getting divorced, and then didn't, so I waved her off?  She texted me and said her husband has inoperable cancer.  "So I'm going to be single soon!"

1.  Is this the single worst person ever?

2.  (Homer only)  still hit it, right?
1.  No. Close, but no

2.  (not homer). Duh. And what have you done with my gb fish?

 
Why I'm justified in having no respect for women, chapter 41:

Remember married former playboy model?  The one that lied to me and said she was getting divorced, and then didn't, so I waved her off?  She texted me and said her husband has inoperable cancer.  "So I'm going to be single soon!"

1.  Is this the single worst person ever?

2.  (Homer only)  still hit it, right?
Congrats?

 
Nobody wants to hear that she's buying me martinis next Thursday for a late lunch and said to block out extra time to discuss this bill she wants to draft.  I'll just keep it to myself.
Wait. I'm pretty sure this is one of my areas of expertise. Should be a good afternoon.

 
Whenever I post in here, I always end up thinking to myself, "how in the hell is Krista willing to be friends with me?"

 
I also have a lunch date with a Tinder chick today.  Working overtime because of Homer's rehab.  We really need zooks back.

 
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Whenever I post in here, I always end up thinking to myself, "how in the hell is Krista willing to be friends with me?"
Me, too. Especially after I did a shot (I have a feeling I broke a rule of good taste and human decency here) of the Pappy's she brought to CH2013 and half of it ended up on my shirt. #IwasdrunkbecausetheRavenswereintheSBthatday

 
Why I'm justified in having no respect for women, chapter 41:

Remember married former playboy model?  The one that lied to me and said she was getting divorced, and then didn't, so I waved her off?  She texted me and said her husband has inoperable cancer.  "So I'm going to be single soon!"

1.  Is this the single worst person ever?

2.  (Homer only)  still hit it, right?
I think just go ahead and file the restraining order now.  Along with the E. Pluribus Unum and some Habeas Corpus.

 
Nobody wants to hear that she's buying me martinis next Thursday for a late lunch and said to block out extra time to discuss this bill she wants to draft.  I'll just keep it to myself.
Only guppies draft Bills

 
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St. Louis Bob said:
I think just go ahead and file the restraining order now.  Along with the E. Pluribus Unum and some Habeas Corpus.
get that in to the Hennepin County office before they close for Purim

 
She's texting me with emojis now.  

I don't think I can continue to work with someone who texts me emojis. What the #### does a cat mean? Other than the filthy meaning we'd ascribe to it in here?

 
She's texting me with emojis now.  

I don't think I can continue to work with someone who texts me emojis. What the #### does a cat mean? Other than the filthy meaning we'd ascribe to it in here?
Wait, we aren't supposed to use emojis in business texts? That would affect at least 80% of my conversations.

 
An attorney with morals is causing me considerable cognitive dissonance. I have an assortment of substances that will probably fix that. Sorry, Homer.

 
We sponsored a hole at a 420 golf event yesterday.  I stood on the 18th hole and shared a spleef with Cliff Robinson.  

/humblebrag

 

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