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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (9 Viewers)

Ig, the doctors can't figure out what's causing the infections?

There's gotta be a cause, right? Multiple ones in a few months?

 
mr. furley said:
work in a small'ish office. 70/30 women to men. one bathroom for the guys. two stalls, one urinal.

unwritten rule is one guy at a time in the stalls. get in, get out if someone is in a stall but you have to piss.

in the small group we have lots of quirks

1) the guy who smokes way too much. you know when he has been in there be cause the room reeks of smoke for an hour after. not sure he isn't smoking in there like it's high school again.

2) the guy who weighs himself in the kitchen, takes a ####, then weighs himself afterward. he also pulls off one square at a time, wipes, repeat until finished.

3) the guy who combs his hair after he pisses but doesn't wash his hands.

4) the guy who refuses to touch the door handle so he waits for someone else to go and let him in

5) maybe the most bizarre and as yet unsolved. the guy who spends 30-40 minutes on the toilet. he moans a lot.... and spits in the toilet constantly. i'm not sure if he's dying, has horrible hemorrhoids or he's jacking off in there. i know he's hitting the booze, coke and painkillers pretty hard so maybe he's just incredibly constipated? 

i'm sitting here about to explode but i'm not going in until he comes out.  we're going on 30 minutes right now. only way i know that is because i've popped in a couple times, heard him moaning and had to duck out. 

if he doesn't come out in another 30 am i obligated to check on him or do i make the paramedics do that?
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Good lord, use the second stall

 
mr. furley said:
work in a small'ish office. 70/30 women to men. one bathroom for the guys. two stalls, one urinal.

unwritten rule is one guy at a time in the stalls. get in, get out if someone is in a stall but you have to piss.

in the small group we have lots of quirks

1) the guy who smokes way too much. you know when he has been in there be cause the room reeks of smoke for an hour after. not sure he isn't smoking in there like it's high school again.

2) the guy who weighs himself in the kitchen, takes a ####, then weighs himself afterward. he also pulls off one square at a time, wipes, repeat until finished.

3) the guy who combs his hair after he pisses but doesn't wash his hands.

4) the guy who refuses to touch the door handle so he waits for someone else to go and let him in

5) maybe the most bizarre and as yet unsolved. the guy who spends 30-40 minutes on the toilet. he moans a lot.... and spits in the toilet constantly. i'm not sure if he's dying, has horrible hemorrhoids or he's jacking off in there. i know he's hitting the booze, coke and painkillers pretty hard so maybe he's just incredibly constipated? 

i'm sitting here about to explode but i'm not going in until he comes out.  we're going on 30 minutes right now. only way i know that is because i've popped in a couple times, heard him moaning and had to duck out. 

if he doesn't come out in another 30 am i obligated to check on him or do i make the paramedics do that?
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I think every office has smokey-le-smoke-face. and #3 doesn't horrify me. but 2, 4 and 5... whoa.

our tiny office (12-15 people) the worst that happens is somebody forgets to leave the fan running after dropping one. or leaves the seat up. or doesn't replace the tp or paper towel after it's empty.

 
thoprawishes to everybody who needs them, though I think 'ninja has you all scooped at the moment. glll

I won't even make snide remarks about people going through marriage once and then somehow deciding it's a good idea to do it again. 

Red, just keep trying, man.  It might take a lot more time than you'd like, but at some point, he'll see it.

 
Bob Sacamano said:
thoprawishes to everybody who needs them, though I think 'ninja has you all scooped at the moment. glll

I won't even make snide remarks about people going through marriage once and then somehow deciding it's a good idea to do it again. 

Red, just keep trying, man.  It might take a lot more time than you'd like, but at some point, he'll see it.
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:lmao:

 
i'll spin this the other way a bit.  

my daughter was chosen to participate in her tae kwon do's halloween party/demonstration.  it's a big deal to be on the 'demo team".  she got a t-shirt and everything!  lol  she's easily the lowest ranked person on the demo team and last night, they increased her role past the one demonstration she was originally asked to perform.  she's over the moon excited about being chosen!  i'm so proud of her, she's a really great kid!

thops to all that might need it

 
General Malaise said:
Or better yet, self-identify as a female and go in there.  Nothing ever nasty or bad happens in the Women's' Rest Room.
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It is a fact that women's rooms are the worst.

 
DA RAIDERS said:
i'll spin this the other way a bit.  

my daughter was chosen to participate in her tae kwon do's halloween party/demonstration.  it's a big deal to be on the 'demo team".  she got a t-shirt and everything!  lol  she's easily the lowest ranked person on the demo team and last night, they increased her role past the one demonstration she was originally asked to perform.  she's over the moon excited about being chosen!  i'm so proud of her, she's a really great kid!

thops to all that might need it
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Ain't that a kick?

 
krista4 said:
It is a fact that women's rooms are the worst.
Click to expand...
Actually, actually true. I was a maintenance/janitor/general landscape guy one summer at a kids camp. Teenage girls' restroom was by far and away the worst. Makeup, sticky hair products, and those paper bags with the special treats inside...

 
General Malaise said:
I did NOT get pissed on last night. :bowtie:  
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OMG me too!

Went to meet my friend Jason at The Brooklyn [aside:  thanks for recommendations; I forgot how damn good that place is] and had a rollicking good time, though I could have done a better job choosing something that was not right by where a Norah Jones concert and a Kanye West concert were happening.  By the way, hot bartender, #### you for asking me if I was there for the Norah Jones concert.  

In addition to those two events, there is 3000-person pest control conference going on in town, which is what Jason was here for.  Lots of people from the conference at The Brooklyn so we were chatting with tons of folks, including some guy who it turned out took some classes with my law-school boyfriend Joe, who is now married to a man, and douchey guy proceeded to grill me, through use of increasingly colorful language, about how I could possibly not have known Joe was gay.  I DON'T KNOW, DUDE, BUT I DATED HIM FOR TWO YEARS AND HE DIDN'T WEAR SUCH TIGHT SHIRTS THEN AND I GUESS HE DID KISS MALE FRIENDS ON THE MOUTH IN GREETING OCCASIONALLY BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST FRIENDLY OR WHATEVER I DON'T ####### KNOW.  We did agree that Joe was/is monumentally good-looking and that should have been the first clue, and then we took a picture together and emailed it to Joe.

After The Brooklyn we headed back to the bar at the Sheraton where all these conference people are staying.  Have I mentioned that not many women work in pest control?  In a room packed with a couple hundred people, I saw only two others.  That made us...popular.  Like, way too popular, had to leave the room several times just to get away popular.  I didn't want to leave - hadn't seen Jason in three years and he practically saved my life in Memphis - but eeeeeesh.  Actual quote:  "You never knew bug guys were so fun, did you?"

Finally I couldn't do it anymore and said my goodbyes, only to get to the parking garage and find it was closed.  Walked around the block, twice, looking at every possible point of ingress and egress.  Nothing.  Which turned out to be a good thing because somewhere around this time is when I realized I was ####### hammered.  Somehow made my way back to the Sheraton, where Jason luckily was still in the bar, and told him I'd be sleeping in his room.

Poor Jason.  He immediately agreed but Jason is a salt-of-the-earth, Mississippi boy, has three boys and a fourth on the way (sorry for the trigger, GM), just a good person, so the whole thing made him so uncomfortable.  He sat down at the desk in the room and started working (it was after 2 a.m.) while I tried to get comfortable in the world's worst chair and Jason kept telling me he'd sleep in the chair and I should use the bed.  I kept refusing and it devolved into his just repeatedly pointing behind him at the bed every few seconds, without even turning around, and saying, "Get" (or more accurately, "Git").  The chair was a nightmare so I eventually agreed, but then proceeded to build an ever-taller wall of pillows - I used every pillow I could find, might have even called housekeeping for more - and kept telling him that he could sleep on the other side of the wall instead of the chair, all while he still wouldn't even turn around and was intensely focused on his computer.  I woke up around 5 and found he was sleeping on the chair.  

Also I somehow lost a sock.  

 
General Malaise said:
Or better yet, self-identify as a female and go in there.  Nothing ever nasty or bad happens in the Women's' Rest Room.
Click to expand...
I've actually compromised my sexual identity twice in the last month. Both because of one hole ####ters where the occupant was taking a 20 minute dump.

 
krista4 said:
Ew.
Click to expand...


krista4 said:
OMG me too!

Went to meet my friend Jason at The Brooklyn [aside:  thanks for recommendations; I forgot how damn good that place is] and had a rollicking good time, though I could have done a better job choosing something that was not right by where a Norah Jones concert and a Kanye West concert were happening.  By the way, hot bartender, #### you for asking me if I was there for the Norah Jones concert.  

In addition to those two events, there is 3000-person pest control conference going on in town, which is what Jason was here for.  Lots of people from the conference at The Brooklyn so we were chatting with tons of folks, including some guy who it turned out took some classes with my law-school boyfriend Joe, who is now married to a man, and douchey guy proceeded to grill me, through use of increasingly colorful language, about how I could possibly not have known Joe was gay.  I DON'T KNOW, DUDE, BUT I DATED HIM FOR TWO YEARS AND HE DIDN'T WEAR SUCH TIGHT SHIRTS THEN AND I GUESS HE DID KISS MALE FRIENDS ON THE MOUTH IN GREETING OCCASIONALLY BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS JUST FRIENDLY OR WHATEVER I DON'T ####### KNOW.  We did agree that Joe was/is monumentally good-looking and that should have been the first clue, and then we took a picture together and emailed it to Joe.

After The Brooklyn we headed back to the bar at the Sheraton where all these conference people are staying.  Have I mentioned that not many women work in pest control?  In a room packed with a couple hundred people, I saw only two others.  That made us...popular.  Like, way too popular, had to leave the room several times just to get away popular.  I didn't want to leave - hadn't seen Jason in three years and he practically saved my life in Memphis - but eeeeeesh.  Actual quote:  "You never knew bug guys were so fun, did you?"

Finally I couldn't do it anymore and said my goodbyes, only to get to the parking garage and find it was closed.  Walked around the block, twice, looking at every possible point of ingress and egress.  Nothing.  Which turned out to be a good thing because somewhere around this time is when I realized I was ####### hammered.  Somehow made my way back to the Sheraton, where Jason luckily was still in the bar, and told him I'd be sleeping in his room.

Poor Jason.  He immediately agreed but Jason is a salt-of-the-earth, Mississippi boy, has three boys and a fourth on the way (sorry for the trigger, GM), just a good person, so the whole thing made him so uncomfortable.  He sat down at the desk in the room and started working (it was after 2 a.m.) while I tried to get comfortable in the world's worst chair and Jason kept telling me he'd sleep in the chair and I should use the bed.  I kept refusing and it devolved into his just repeatedly pointing behind him at the bed every few seconds, without even turning around, and saying, "Get" (or more accurately, "Git").  The chair was a nightmare so I eventually agreed, but then proceeded to build an ever-taller wall of pillows - I used every pillow I could find, might have even called housekeeping for more - and kept telling him that he could sleep on the other side of the wall instead of the chair, all while he still wouldn't even turn around and was intensely focused on his computer.  I woke up around 5 and found he was sleeping on the chair.  

Also I somehow lost a sock.  
Click to expand...
Have any oysters? 

 
mr roboto said:
Actually, actually true. I was a maintenance/janitor/general landscape guy one summer at a kids camp. Teenage girls' restroom was by far and away the worst. Makeup, sticky hair products, and those paper bags with the special treats inside...
Click to expand...
go on...

 
proninja said:
My turn:

I spent most of last night in the ER, good news is it isn't my appendix so I don't need surgery, bad news is I've got colitis, and it very well could be a chronic thing which means food instantly becomes a huge pain in the ###. There is a nonzero chance that coffee isn't a thing for me anymore. I'll find out more tomorrow, meeting with a GI doc. I'm basically a wreck, mostly doubled over in pain, pretty much every bathroom episode is like that "dumb and dumber" scene. 

And to top it off, I'm getting wicked headaches everytime I move from a seated to a standing position. Tomorrow I see my sleep doctor, the GI doc, and my neurosurgeon. Getting old is really awesome. 

My wife is almost 7 months pregnant and just can't do everything on her own like she's had to do the last couple days. She's nearing the end of her rope, which means I have to find a way to do a lot of the things in addition to work, feeling like I've got a dirty bomb in my abdomen, and recovering from brain surgery. 

But, on the bright side, I've lost 13 pounds in 3 weeks due to being a fanatic about what I eat. And hey, GI problems make it even easier to cut calories. 
Click to expand...
I've struggled with my guts. The only thing that works for me is papaya enzyme chewables. Buy them at new seasons or local health store, they work

 
krista4 said:
Finally I couldn't do it anymore and said my goodbyes, only to get to the parking garage and find it was closed.  Walked around the block, twice, looking at every possible point of ingress and egress.  Nothing.  Which turned out to be a good thing because somewhere around this time is when I realized I was ####### hammered.  Somehow made my way back to the Sheraton, where Jason luckily was still in the bar, and told him I'd be sleeping in his room. 
Click to expand...
They always sell you on the ingress, but really it's the egress that's key.

 
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