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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (24 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
heckmanm
Footballguy
Hawks64
Footballguy
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
-fish-
Footballguy
tommyboy
Footballguy
tommyboy
Footballguy
-fish-
Footballguy
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Maybe by morning
5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
-fish-
Footballguy
5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
Well, then I guess you'll be missing out, won't you?
It basically meant "date them both at the same time without letting either realize you're doing it", in a mild reference to an episode of the Brady Bunch(albeit the gimmick there was that our buddy Pete had met his "identical double" at school and used him to try and help pull off the "two dates at the same time" ruse).
They can't all be gems. I'll try and do better next time.
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mr. furley
Footballguy
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
And here I was thinking that he was going to 'pork' chop the 1/2 Korean chick and Apple 'Sauce' the 22 year old
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
Obviously he blames you for the divorce from w1 and probably blames both you and W2.
Maybe you and him should go to therapy together.
Don't know what else to say except good luck, I can't imagine the heartbreak.
psychobillies
Footballguy
I'm pretty sure the 1/2 Brazilian part is gonna find out about the 22 year old and cut his #### off while he sleeps. Strangely though, I still envy him.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
I'll be in St. Paul Monday, Tuesday and maybe Weds and Thursday.
Going to the Tap Room on Monday, any good?
tommyboy
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
Cal has run 56 plays and scored 31 points by half tonight
Sconch
Footballguy
![[icon]](/data/avatars/m/5/5167.jpg?1660313464){kind=avatar}
[icon]
Insoxicated
Thank you. This.
Other 3 guys are off buying expensive bourbon and high fiving and all I can think about is we have a LOT of work to do before the meeting in 2 weeks... and then IF this unfolds half of what it looks like it MAY, there's a LOT of work past that.
Dunno I know I'm not usually one to post in here and this ain't intended to be a brag post... I see it as 10% chance of awesome and 90% chance of trainwreck. I know there are a lot of folks here who've walked this path 10x so I was hoping for exactly this post. Thx GB
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Abraham
Footballguy
I am not trying to be a downer. But I have indeed been through this before and some of my closest friends are "startup" guys who have done awesome startupy things. The next time I hear a legit story of "we had an idea, got a team, and the awesomeness made the money flow like a river!" will be the first.
These things are really hard for a reason.
AAABatteries
Footballguy
Pretty common in large companies. Ours has started sending something out about quarterly and they are pretty sophisticated phishing attempts. If you click on one they send you an email signing you up for training. Luckily I'm 2 for 2 in not falling for it but I can see how people do, especially if you work in a large company where you regularly get company wide emails from HR, the communications team and the like.
tommyboy
Footballguy
When I started my company, it was boots on the ground, glad handing. Filing papers, asking a #### ton of questions from older, wiser businessmen, designing logos, setting up a webpage. Getting an office, getting accounts at banks, lines of credit. Checks. An office. Learning the tax code. Deciding what type of corporation to create. Only after all that was done then I could really focus on how do I build this up? Went through several stages of growth over the first two years. Business grew every year for 7 years. Thus is yr 8 and we'll be down about 10% for first time, mainly because I'm not trying as hard as I used to. I'm burnt out a bit.
You're never off the clock.
Good luck
mr roboto
Footballguy
mr roboto
Footballguy
Uruk-Hai
Footballguy
So, my boring threesome story.
I have a friend who is an escort. I helped her out of a (non-escort-y) problem a few years ago. We never dated or did "business", but will hang out when convenient - meeting for meals, drinks, sex, whatever. It's a cool friendship, and one more honest than most.
She felt the favor was worth bringing in a lady co-worker. I agreed because ............gonads.
I have a feeling my friend is mentoring the co-worker, but the co-worker was really aggressive with my friend - there were toy disappearances to distances than Common Core math couldn't solve. Most of it was a show with those two (they like each other) with a fine finish.
I have a friend who is an escort. I helped her out of a (non-escort-y) problem a few years ago. We never dated or did "business", but will hang out when convenient - meeting for meals, drinks, sex, whatever. It's a cool friendship, and one more honest than most.
She felt the favor was worth bringing in a lady co-worker. I agreed because ............gonads.
I have a feeling my friend is mentoring the co-worker, but the co-worker was really aggressive with my friend - there were toy disappearances to distances than Common Core math couldn't solve. Most of it was a show with those two (they like each other) with a fine finish.
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bostonfred
Footballguy
Been thinking a lot about the divorced dad talk and redmond recently.
As the child of divorce myself, I have a lot of empathy for the mom, the dad, the stepmother, and the sons. It's a really ####ty process and one that kids aren't emotionally equipped to deal with. What you're going through is natural, and it is necessary, and it does change over time.
You're talking about a kid who is not yet fully developed as an adult mind. At thst age, there's something called dualism - the belief that theres two kinds of people. Kids, and adults who tell me what to do. When kids show a little vulnerability, it's reassuring. I'm not the only ####ed up person. Adults are supposed to do everything perfectly and have all the answers. When they don't, it's a betrayal of the social contract.
It's easy to forget how dIfficult it is for them to put things in context at that age. I'm grounded? Mom you ruined my life. If you throw a ball to a kid carrying an urn with grandma's ashes, get the vacuum. They don't have the experience in life to quickly compare the importance of two very different things.
It's even harder when it's about emotional issues. Boys at that age deal with loss by looking for ways to win next time. They have genuine emotional responses, but they've been socialized to subjugate them and show the expected behavior instead. Don't cry, rub some dirt on it. Get mad when someone kneels for the national anthem. Say i love you to get laid. There are a lot of real emotions hidden under the facades they show and it's really difficult to separate because they haven't developed the introspection to figure out which are which. So you get a confused kid making confident statements of emotions they don't know if they really feel, but they feel like they're supposed to feel.
And in this case, the emotional response is "stick up for mom". Which makes dad the obvious enemy.
You're talking about a kid who is not yet fully developed as an adult mind. At thst age, there's something called dualism - the belief that theres two kinds of people. Kids, and adults who tell me what to do. When kids show a little vulnerability, it's reassuring. I'm not the only ####ed up person. Adults are supposed to do everything perfectly and have all the answers. When they don't, it's a betrayal of the social contract.
It's easy to forget how dIfficult it is for them to put things in context at that age. I'm grounded? Mom you ruined my life. If you throw a ball to a kid carrying an urn with grandma's ashes, get the vacuum. They don't have the experience in life to quickly compare the importance of two very different things.
It's even harder when it's about emotional issues. Boys at that age deal with loss by looking for ways to win next time. They have genuine emotional responses, but they've been socialized to subjugate them and show the expected behavior instead. Don't cry, rub some dirt on it. Get mad when someone kneels for the national anthem. Say i love you to get laid. There are a lot of real emotions hidden under the facades they show and it's really difficult to separate because they haven't developed the introspection to figure out which are which. So you get a confused kid making confident statements of emotions they don't know if they really feel, but they feel like they're supposed to feel.
And in this case, the emotional response is "stick up for mom". Which makes dad the obvious enemy.
hagmania
Footballguy
Hawks64
Footballguy
heckmanm
Footballguy
Agree. I'm a stepdad of 2 teenagers myself and count myself fortunate that we don't have these kinds of conflicts.doesn't do this post justice. Fantastic post bf!
Thorn
Footballguy
bostonfred
Footballguy
] @RedmondLonghorn part 2
Do you're trying to deal with this the way you would with other problems. You fix it. If you can't fix it, you hire an expert. You treat him like an adult
The problems you face with that approach are:
1) he feels like you are the Enemy, even though it's not necessarily your fault or even a genuine feeling from him. He just knows it's how he's supposed to feel, and he's acting the way he thinks he's supposed to act.
2) he doesn't understand the context of the situation so he is behaving rationally
3) you (the Enemy) are doing what he expects the Enemy to do. You're fighting with him and telling him his emotions are wrong, you're forcing him to hang out with you, and you're punishing him by sending him to a shrink, as if your Very Bad Behavior is his fault. This tact will never work, because it reinforces everything he thinks he thinks.
4) neither of you really understand how ####ed up you are, too
Let me expand on that last one because it's important.
He doesn't understand that you are a regular person struggling too. He sees your decisions as adult decisions and therefore when you make decisions that hurt him or his mom, you are a Bad Guy.
And you probably don't understand your own broken thought process. If you invest in a stock and the price goes down right away, you don't get mad at the stock. You recognize that it will go up and down, and you can see the influences with a rational eye because you have a lot of experience with it.
You don't have a lot of experience with this, and you probably suck at it. Every father who goes through this sees the mother as the enemy for poisoning their relationship. (And that's probably true, because mothers tend to believe you should never ever do that, but then they go through their own divorce and realize that this case is different because MY ex is a Bad Guy. But it's fair to realize she's ####ed up too. This is an emotional ordeal for everyone.)
The problem is that now you see her as the enemy and she sees you as the enemy and he sees you as both his and her enemy, and you've got one hand tied behind your back because you're trying not to poison the well and your other hand tied behind your back because you resent your ex and think she's poisoning the well while you're trying to act like you don't. It'a a losing approach.
This relationship has a long lifecycle, like an investment you plan to hold for several years. Take the long view. I'll give you an example in post number 3
The problems you face with that approach are:
1) he feels like you are the Enemy, even though it's not necessarily your fault or even a genuine feeling from him. He just knows it's how he's supposed to feel, and he's acting the way he thinks he's supposed to act.
2) he doesn't understand the context of the situation so he is behaving rationally
3) you (the Enemy) are doing what he expects the Enemy to do. You're fighting with him and telling him his emotions are wrong, you're forcing him to hang out with you, and you're punishing him by sending him to a shrink, as if your Very Bad Behavior is his fault. This tact will never work, because it reinforces everything he thinks he thinks.
4) neither of you really understand how ####ed up you are, too
Let me expand on that last one because it's important.
He doesn't understand that you are a regular person struggling too. He sees your decisions as adult decisions and therefore when you make decisions that hurt him or his mom, you are a Bad Guy.
And you probably don't understand your own broken thought process. If you invest in a stock and the price goes down right away, you don't get mad at the stock. You recognize that it will go up and down, and you can see the influences with a rational eye because you have a lot of experience with it.
You don't have a lot of experience with this, and you probably suck at it. Every father who goes through this sees the mother as the enemy for poisoning their relationship. (And that's probably true, because mothers tend to believe you should never ever do that, but then they go through their own divorce and realize that this case is different because MY ex is a Bad Guy. But it's fair to realize she's ####ed up too. This is an emotional ordeal for everyone.)
The problem is that now you see her as the enemy and she sees you as the enemy and he sees you as both his and her enemy, and you've got one hand tied behind your back because you're trying not to poison the well and your other hand tied behind your back because you resent your ex and think she's poisoning the well while you're trying to act like you don't. It'a a losing approach.
This relationship has a long lifecycle, like an investment you plan to hold for several years. Take the long view. I'll give you an example in post number 3
mr. furley
Footballguy
bostonfred
Footballguy
Redmond part 3
Hey bud. I get that you are mad at me and that you don't want to be here right now. And that really hurts because i want you to be here, and i want you to want to be here. But you don't, and i get that. I really do. I just want you to hear me out.
I'm sorry.
I made some bad decisions and they affected you and your mom. I didn't want that but it's too late.
The thing is, i really care about your mom. When i was a little older than your age right now, i met her and fell in love with her and we spent all our time together and we loved each other so much we decided to get married and raise a family. We both really thought we were going to live happily ever after. Those were some of the best times of my life and i miss those days like you wouldn't believe.
Then we had you and your brother. I have never felt anything like that. You were 8 pounds 3 ounces when they handed you to me. I had no idea how to change a diaper or feed you but i knew i would love you forever, no matter what. It's an experience i can't begin to explain. I hope you get to feel it some day.
Watching you guys grow up was the joy of my life. I would love to go back to those days. Every time i look at that picture on the mantle i think of that time you did that thing. And when you and youtr brother did that other thing. And your mother. She was an incredible mother to you guys.
But it was also a lot of work. I tried so hard to earn enough money for you guys to have a good childhood and be able to live in a nice house near a good school and maybe go to college some day. But i alo wanted to be home. Your mother tried so hard to raise two young kids and she loved you so much. But it's exhausting. And what happens is instead of wanting to spend time with each other, we both just needed rest. And that's how the fighting happens. You don't mean for it to, but when one person feels like they are doing all the work you start to get mad at the other person. And both of us probably felt like we were doing all the work.
And then these other things started to happen. She wanted to do this. I wanted to do that. It wasn't unreasonable, it's just that we wanted different things. We were different people who shared one thing in common more than anything else - we both loved you two more than anything.
So when we started fighting about things - little things, big things, some things i don't even want to talk about - it was clear we weren't doing you two or each other any favors. We needed to fix it and neither of us knew how. So we split up.
I know it probably doesn't feel this way but i sincerely want her to be happy. It's just really hard for me because i don't know how to be the one to make her happy. I feel like i failed. But i still care about her very much. And i know how much you care about her and how much she cares about you.
I also wanted to live my own life. I felt a terrible sense of loss when your mother and i split up and i didn't know what to fo. And when i found your stepmother i realized she was a really incredible person too. She's not your mother but she is a really great person and as i got to know her i realized that she is someone i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I am a lot different person now than when i met your mother. She's never going to replace your mother but she's a really great person and important to me and she cares about you and your brpther a great deal.
But i get it. It sucks having your dad bring her into the house. I'm sorry for putting you and your brother in that position. I'm sorry for putting your mother through a divorce. I didn't choose for things to work out like this. I really and truly love you and your brother more than anything.
So from now on i'm going to try not to make you do things you don't want to do. I want you to do your homework and get good grades, and i'm still going to expect that, but if you don't want to hang out with me and your stepmother during our visitation days, ok. You can go to a friend's house, or have them here, as long as you get your work done. You're s young man now and i owe you a little more respect than i've been giving you.
I just want you to know i love you and your brother more than anything. Just like your mother does. And your stepmother cares about you a great deal too. I know you're mad at us right now but hopefully that's something we can all build on down the road.
That's it. That's all i wanted to say. Now give me a hug. I'm going upstairs if you want to talk later or beat me at some call of duty.
I'm sorry.
I made some bad decisions and they affected you and your mom. I didn't want that but it's too late.
The thing is, i really care about your mom. When i was a little older than your age right now, i met her and fell in love with her and we spent all our time together and we loved each other so much we decided to get married and raise a family. We both really thought we were going to live happily ever after. Those were some of the best times of my life and i miss those days like you wouldn't believe.
Then we had you and your brother. I have never felt anything like that. You were 8 pounds 3 ounces when they handed you to me. I had no idea how to change a diaper or feed you but i knew i would love you forever, no matter what. It's an experience i can't begin to explain. I hope you get to feel it some day.
Watching you guys grow up was the joy of my life. I would love to go back to those days. Every time i look at that picture on the mantle i think of that time you did that thing. And when you and youtr brother did that other thing. And your mother. She was an incredible mother to you guys.
But it was also a lot of work. I tried so hard to earn enough money for you guys to have a good childhood and be able to live in a nice house near a good school and maybe go to college some day. But i alo wanted to be home. Your mother tried so hard to raise two young kids and she loved you so much. But it's exhausting. And what happens is instead of wanting to spend time with each other, we both just needed rest. And that's how the fighting happens. You don't mean for it to, but when one person feels like they are doing all the work you start to get mad at the other person. And both of us probably felt like we were doing all the work.
And then these other things started to happen. She wanted to do this. I wanted to do that. It wasn't unreasonable, it's just that we wanted different things. We were different people who shared one thing in common more than anything else - we both loved you two more than anything.
So when we started fighting about things - little things, big things, some things i don't even want to talk about - it was clear we weren't doing you two or each other any favors. We needed to fix it and neither of us knew how. So we split up.
I know it probably doesn't feel this way but i sincerely want her to be happy. It's just really hard for me because i don't know how to be the one to make her happy. I feel like i failed. But i still care about her very much. And i know how much you care about her and how much she cares about you.
I also wanted to live my own life. I felt a terrible sense of loss when your mother and i split up and i didn't know what to fo. And when i found your stepmother i realized she was a really incredible person too. She's not your mother but she is a really great person and as i got to know her i realized that she is someone i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I am a lot different person now than when i met your mother. She's never going to replace your mother but she's a really great person and important to me and she cares about you and your brpther a great deal.
But i get it. It sucks having your dad bring her into the house. I'm sorry for putting you and your brother in that position. I'm sorry for putting your mother through a divorce. I didn't choose for things to work out like this. I really and truly love you and your brother more than anything.
So from now on i'm going to try not to make you do things you don't want to do. I want you to do your homework and get good grades, and i'm still going to expect that, but if you don't want to hang out with me and your stepmother during our visitation days, ok. You can go to a friend's house, or have them here, as long as you get your work done. You're s young man now and i owe you a little more respect than i've been giving you.
I just want you to know i love you and your brother more than anything. Just like your mother does. And your stepmother cares about you a great deal too. I know you're mad at us right now but hopefully that's something we can all build on down the road.
That's it. That's all i wanted to say. Now give me a hug. I'm going upstairs if you want to talk later or beat me at some call of duty.
