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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (19 Viewers)

I could use a Jim Morrison experience.  Do I have to hurt my back to get one?  Because, ####, I may as well at this point.

Also, I'm considering alcoholism.  Cons, anyone?

 
Chaos Commish said:
For the hikers. I hurt my back last week so I've been bed/chair ridden a few days, which is why I'm hanging out around here. Yesterday I was feeling better and decided to go for a walk. Many around here (Mojave desert) are talking about the wildflower super bloom. So rather than my usual challenging route, I drove my weak back to some basalt fields that have better scenery and the reported super bloom. A mile of walking, feeling no pain, I came to a rolling field littered with van sized lava rocks and covered in golden poppies and purple verbena. A ten acre tie dyed Lakers uniform. So I left the trail to wander through. A fat Red Racer slithered through flowers into a den under a massive rock. Dozens of little puppy bunnies scurried about the rare colorful growth. The ground teemed with black polka dotted green caterpillars. Birdsong filled the oddly moist air. A flock of small white butterflies lifted around me like a cloud of fairies. The desert has been barren, dusty, and dry for years during the drought. As I considered how unique this moment truly seemed, a low pitched sustained thunder shattered the sky. An F-18, blue and gold, 300 feet above a color matched landscape, barely subsonic, overhead, then gone vertical.  Chuck Yeager leaving the atmosphere at 2017 speeds. The floral field of bunnies and butterflies gave me childish joy, and this booming beast in the sky indeed filled me precisely with shock and awe. Two more roared overhead and banked left and right as they hit the vertical climb. They made two massive inverted loops, smoke trails painting a 5 mile high heart on the sky above me. I hiked into the backdoor of yesterday's Blue Angels show. I could see the air field in the distance beyond two surreal darts coming at me low and terrifying, speed and power so ridiculous. The horror they must invoke when doing business. Just whoa... alone in a blooming desert of baby bunnies and fairy butterflies. I felt vulnerable, a synaptic malfunction of oh #### Trump knows what I said. As the combination of fragrant delicate cuddly nature providing no protection and brutal war technology bearing down on my position juxtaposed in my unfortunately sober mind, a petite young nudist with 34Bs rose from the bunnies, butterflies and flowers between us and did everything in her power to save me and cause pilot error. Arms waving joyfully at the terror in sky, she bounced and twirled to follow the jet fighters as they roared overhead only to see grinning me sheepishly waving thank you, which caused her to nosedive into the floral cover, which caused a half dozen little faces to pop up from the behind a large lava rock framed in verbena and poppies, one of which called me a pervert. :shrug:
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China Lake?

wtf are you?

 
Binky The Doormat said:
Sounds like a mushroom dream on a technicolor cloud man.  
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My brother loves and dearly misses this desert. He's jealous that I live here. I shared that post with him and all he took away from it is I'm still talking #### about Trump. If I was shroomin', I would probably still be wandering around out there.

 
Chaos Commish said:
I thought you knew that. I mocked your Trader Joes once confessing I have to drive all the way to you to find one. My doctor's in Bakersfield because... it's scary out here, man. Born on base, btw. Retired out here because I could afford it and only it. I'm in LA a few days a week though. 
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Trader Joe's is like 5 minutes from me and I hardly go there.

 
Reg Lllama of Brixton said:
Trader Joe's is like 5 minutes from me and I hardly go there.
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Yeah me either. I haven't been to your town since 5-26-15. Same Dr also has an office at UCLA. I remember that date because it was a lady friend's bday and I took her to Dinner on the Kern, then down that horrible twisting 178 to Robobank where I made her dreams come true. Look it up.

 
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I'm enjoying the Chaos Commish posts.  Can't say I understand a lick of 'em, but I'm enjoying them.  Hope you stick around.

 
"Was that wrong? Should I have not done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon, you know, ‘cause I've coached at a lot of schools and I tell you people do that all the time."

a player came forward to school officials to report that while Sharkey was grilling hot dogs, he turned around with his exposed penis in a hot dog bun and said, “You think that is a big dog — take a look at this.”
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I replaced an old cable box a few months ago. It has packed it in again. Worked this evening, went to the store, won't turn on. Won't reboot either--stuck in mid-cycle. The phone slave at the cable company is less than helpful, implying that it's my cable splitter. He invites me to come down to the office and pick up a new, high quality Time-Warner splitter. I suspect he is full of ####, but I let him go, because he's not going to be any help. Then I switch around the lines coming out of the splitter, and my cable modem still works fine, but my cable TV box still does not. I'll be heading down to their office tomorrow, all right. With their crapped-out box, and malevolent intent. :hot:  

 
tommyboy said:
"I like the blue teams and the green ones. "(Furiously fills in brackets)
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Roverkid is being raised as a gambler.  The kid is money at the horses, and seems to have a knack for hoops.

when I take her to the track she gets annoyed with me if she can't get to the paddock in time to see the horses before the jockeys mount up.  The kid has been reading the daily racing form since she was 6

 
the rover said:
Roverkid is being raised as a gambler.  The kid is money at the horses, and seems to have a knack for hoops.

when I take her to the track she gets annoyed with me if she can't get to the paddock in time to see the horses before the jockeys mount up.  The kid has been reading the daily racing form since she was 6
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"Look daddy that pony has braids (furiously fills out race form)"

In all seriousness if you're raising your kid to be the Nostradamus of betting, I have a friend that wants to know if Kansas is going to win it this year.

 
Joke check re: Marvel's Wolverine

"Since the Weapon X program, Logan no longer smokes or drinks"

It's hilarious in my head, but I don't know how many people will make all of the connections as it involves a couple different sorts of nerdery. 

 
kevzilla said:
I replaced an old cable box a few months ago. It has packed it in again. Worked this evening, went to the store, won't turn on. Won't reboot either--stuck in mid-cycle. The phone slave at the cable company is less than helpful, implying that it's my cable splitter. He invites me to come down to the office and pick up a new, high quality Time-Warner splitter. I suspect he is full of ####, but I let him go, because he's not going to be any help. Then I switch around the lines coming out of the splitter, and my cable modem still works fine, but my cable TV box still does not. I'll be heading down to their office tomorrow, all right. With their crapped-out box, and malevolent intent. :hot:  
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if you replaced the old cable box with a cable box from your provider... you replaced an old cable box with an old cable box that was refurbished

been down that road :hot:

 
Coworker got fired the other day around 3:30.  Asked the boss if he could stay until 5:00 so people wouldn't get suspicious and wonder why he was leaving early.

Bro, you've been meandering around the office several times a day for months doing nothing, and NOW you're worried about what people will think?

 
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