What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (12 Viewers)

Holy #### crazy girl at the bar is crazy. Thirty seconds in, she's telling me about the brain tumor she had removed by one of the surgeons I work for. In the next five minutes, she told me about her long-term friendships with Eminem, Erin Brockovitch and Dale Earnhardt Jr. 

Unlike roverfish, the crazy chicks don't want to have sex with me or anything. Just express their nuttiness.  :kicksrock:

 
kevzilla said:
Holy #### crazy girl at the bar is crazy. Thirty seconds in, she's telling me about the brain tumor she had removed by one of the surgeons I work for. In the next five minutes, she told me about her long-term friendships with Eminem, Erin Brockovitch and Dale Earnhardt Jr. 

Unlike roverfish, the crazy chicks don't want to have sex with me or anything. Just express their nuttiness.  :kicksrock:
Click to expand...
Of course she doesn’t want to.  You haven’t convinced her you believe her insanity.  

Tell her how impressed you are and it’s always been your dream to have sex with someone who knows Eminem, Erin Brockovitch, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Olivia Munn.  Then ask her if she knows Olivia Munn. 

Let me know how it goes. 

 
kevzilla said:
Holy #### crazy girl at the bar is crazy. Thirty seconds in, she's telling me about the brain tumor she had removed by one of the surgeons I work for. In the next five minutes, she told me about her long-term friendships with Eminem, Erin Brockovitch and Dale Earnhardt Jr. 

Unlike roverfish, the crazy chicks don't want to have sex with me or anything. Just express their nuttiness.  :kicksrock:
Click to expand...
It's believable.  Those 3 people do run in the same circles.

 
McJose said:
A friend of mine’s mother likes to tell a story about learning to cook as a newlywed in the mid-late 60s.

She had a recipe for meatloaf that called for both ground beef and ground pork.  She didn’t have any ground pork so she chopped up hot dogs and put them in the loaf.

Husband sits down and takes a look “What the hell is this ####?”
Click to expand...
I had to teach my wife how to cook. First time I went over to her place all she had was milk, butter, cereal and Kraft Mac and cheese. 

She's a pretty good cook now. Her best skill is baking. Unbelievable.

Last night I made rice pilaf and grilled shrimp. The shrimp is easy, take raw deveined large shrimp about two lbs, and dump a whole bottle of Newman's original Italian over, add juice of a lime and some chopped cilantro. Let it sit in the fridge for a couple hrs then skewer them and cook on a hot grill. 

 
Elon Musk‏Verified account @elonmusk 17h17 hours ago

The rumor that I’m secretly creating a zombie apocalypse to generate demand for flamethrowers is completely false

 
Bought my last cell phone about 4 years ago, a Nexus 5. Promptly dropped it on the driveway and cracked the screen 2 days later. It was and still is functional except it dropped on the corner of the camera facing me, so I couldn't take selfies (No biggie, no one want to see this ugly mug anyway)

Started looking for a new phone and found the Moto G5+ for $199 at Costco. Good price, good reviews, so I bought it. Got it UPS yesterday, today, not 24 hours later, it slipped out of my shirt pocket and into the toilet :X  when I bent down to flush it after taking a leak. Unbelievable, seriously un####ingbelieable. I cleaned it with a bleach wipe and its sitting in a bag of rice. But I did see that while I was cleaning it, the message "No Sim card" was showing........

Unbelievable...... FML

:wall:

 
Mr.Pack said:
Bought my last cell phone about 4 years ago, a Nexus 5. Promptly dropped it on the driveway and cracked the screen 2 days later. It was and still is functional except it dropped on the corner of the camera facing me, so I couldn't take selfies (No biggie, no one want to see this ugly mug anyway)

Started looking for a new phone and found the Moto G5+ for $199 at Costco. Good price, good reviews, so I bought it. Got it UPS yesterday, today, not 24 hours later, it slipped out of my shirt pocket and into the toilet :X  when I bent down to flush it after taking a leak. Unbelievable, seriously un####ingbelieable. I cleaned it with a bleach wipe and its sitting in a bag of rice. But I did see that while I was cleaning it, the message "No Sim card" was showing........

Unbelievable...... FML

:wall:
Click to expand...
Just made myself a couple hot dogs for dinner, lathered in Ketchup (Deal with it) and Mustard. Get the plate in the living room and somehow it slipped out of my hand and fell on the living room carpet, yes face down..... Ketchup and mustard all over the freaking carpet.

Done with today, good night

 
Mr.Pack said:
Just made myself a couple hot dogs for dinner, lathered in Ketchup (Deal with it) and Mustard. Get the plate in the living room and somehow it slipped out of my hand and fell on the living room carpet, yes face down..... Ketchup and mustard all over the freaking carpet.

Done with today, good night
Click to expand...
#ketchuponahotdogjustice

 
as much as luge and bobsled are entertaining.. it feels like they lack suspense. maybe its how the network broadcasts races but the result of each racer seems to always be slightly better than the previous person.

the ice is melting ever so slightly during each run, making each run slightly more... lubricated

and as i say it, this woman just went +0,139 seconds so there goes that theory

 
strykerpks said:
Epees
Click to expand...
"I'll take "Swords" for $400!"

Mr.Pack said:
it slipped out of my shirt pocket and into the toilet :X  when I bent down to flush it after taking a leak.
Click to expand...
Are you, like, 12 feet tall?  Who needs to bend completely over to flush?  I'm 6'2", and the idea anyone, outside of maybe Shaq, would need to double over to far enough to have something fall out of a shirt pocket in a flushing toilet is just *boggle* to me. 

Are you dooking in a terlet that's 6" off the ground?

 
Last edited by a moderator:
mr. furley said:
as much as luge and bobsled are entertaining.. it feels like they lack suspense. maybe its how the network broadcasts races but the result of each racer seems to always be slightly better than the previous person.

the ice is melting ever so slightly during each run, making each run slightly more... lubricated

and as i say it, this woman just went +0,139 seconds so there goes that theory
Click to expand...
These events are cool to watch, the athleticism and skill is obviously impressive, but these type of events have always lacked excitement. 
Give me cross-country skiing any day.

 
Mr.Pack said:
Bought my last cell phone about 4 years ago, a Nexus 5. Promptly dropped it on the driveway and cracked the screen 2 days later. It was and still is functional except it dropped on the corner of the camera facing me, so I couldn't take selfies (No biggie, no one want to see this ugly mug anyway)

Started looking for a new phone and found the Moto G5+ for $199 at Costco. Good price, good reviews, so I bought it. Got it UPS yesterday, today, not 24 hours later, it slipped out of my shirt pocket and into the toilet :X  when I bent down to flush it after taking a leak. Unbelievable, seriously un####ingbelieable. I cleaned it with a bleach wipe and its sitting in a bag of rice. But I did see that while I was cleaning it, the message "No Sim card" was showing........

Unbelievable...... FML

:wall:
Click to expand...


Mr.Pack said:
Just made myself a couple hot dogs for dinner, lathered in Ketchup (Deal with it) and Mustard. Get the plate in the living room and somehow it slipped out of my hand and fell on the living room carpet, yes face down..... Ketchup and mustard all over the freaking carpet.

Done with today, good night
Click to expand...
Haha

 
5-ish Finkle said:
"I'll take "Swords" for $400!"

Are you, like, 12 feet tall?  Who needs to bend completely over to flush?  I'm 6'2", and the idea anyone, outside of maybe Shaq, would need to double over to far enough to have something fall out of a shirt pocket in a flushing toilet is just *boggle* to me. 

Are you dooking in a terlet that's 6" off the ground?
Click to expand...
seems judgey

 
shuke said:
These events are cool to watch, the athleticism and skill is obviously impressive, but these type of events have always lacked excitement. 
Give me cross-country skiing any day.
Click to expand...
I like the biathalon.  That’s the one where the cross country skiers shoot at each other I think.

 
Mr.Pack said:
Bought my last cell phone about 4 years ago, a Nexus 5. Promptly dropped it on the driveway and cracked the screen 2 days later. It was and still is functional except it dropped on the corner of the camera facing me, so I couldn't take selfies (No biggie, no one want to see this ugly mug anyway)

Started looking for a new phone and found the Moto G5+ for $199 at Costco. Good price, good reviews, so I bought it. Got it UPS yesterday, today, not 24 hours later, it slipped out of my shirt pocket and into the toilet :X  when I bent down to flush it after taking a leak. Unbelievable, seriously un####ingbelieable. I cleaned it with a bleach wipe and its sitting in a bag of rice. But I did see that while I was cleaning it, the message "No Sim card" was showing........

Unbelievable...... FML

:wall:
Click to expand...
You should pee sitting down.

 
mr. furley said:
as much as luge and bobsled are entertaining.. it feels like they lack suspense. maybe its how the network broadcasts races but the result of each racer seems to always be slightly better than the previous person.

the ice is melting ever so slightly during each run, making each run slightly more... lubricated

and as i say it, this woman just went +0,139 seconds so there goes that theory
Click to expand...
I think it's mostly because the 2nd round (which is always where I seem to tune in) goes in reverse order of standings, so in that way, each racer is better than the previous one.  And they also have a slight effective head start due to a faster time in the first round.  

 
5-ish Finkle said:
"I'll take "Swords" for $400!"

Are you, like, 12 feet tall?  Who needs to bend completely over to flush?  I'm 6'2", and the idea anyone, outside of maybe Shaq, would need to double over to far enough to have something fall out of a shirt pocket in a flushing toilet is just *boggle* to me. 

Are you dooking in a terlet that's 6" off the ground?
Click to expand...
No clue, only thing I can think of, it was a new phone and really slick, and maybe I didn't have it all the way in the pocket.......  I can still see that ####er splashing into the toilet tho

 
cosjobs said:
seems judgey
Click to expand...
Welcome, cos.  I see this must be your first day.  Complimentary naan is available in krista's bathroom(don't worry, she doesn't poop in there) and please make sure you see Flop to get measured for your forum-issued scarf (first one is free, you pay for any necessary replacements).

 
Mr.Pack said:
No clue, only thing I can think of, it was a new phone and really slick, and maybe I didn't have it all the way in the pocket.......  I can still see that ####er splashing into the toilet tho
Click to expand...
I've had a phone get immersed (not in the terlet, though.  I flush standing up like a normal person :) ), so I can commiserate.

Rice dry it out well enough to allow it to function?  Guy at my local Verizon shop had me open mine up (because this was long enough ago you could still open up the back of a Samsung) and sit the phone on top of the vents of my cable box.  The fan in that thing runs pretty frequently, plus the box gets warm so that helps evaporate moisture.  Left it there over night and damned if it didn't work in the morning.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
5-ish Finkle said:
I've had a phone get immersed (not in the terlet, though.  I flush standing up like a normal person :) ), so I can commiserate.

Rice dry it out well enough to allow it to function?  Guy at my local Verizon shop had me open mine up (because this was long enough ago you could still open up the back of a Samsung) and sit the phone on top of the vents of my cable box.  The fan in that thing runs pretty frequently, plus the box gets warm so that helps evaporate moisture.  Left it there over night and damned if it didn't work in the morning.
Click to expand...
After I used a bleach wipe to clean it, it went right into a bag of rice. Going to let it sit for a few days. 

 
shuke said:
Take a vacuum hand extension or a shop vac and try to suck all the liquid out of every opening RIGHT NOW.
Click to expand...
This happened yesterday evening and I'm at work, so that probably won't happen until tonight. It's a sealed phone too, so i can't take it apart. I did pull the Sim card tho and that's in the rice as well

 
Maybe I'm paranoid but I always try to get the "active" version of whatever phone I'm buying (currently galaxy s6 and due for an upgrade). They are usually okay in water for a few seconds and withstand drops fine.

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's thread about nothing
4998 4999 5000
Replies
250K
Views
6M
rockaction
rockaction

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 10 (members: 0, guests: 10)
Back
Top