Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
Yeah had to mute mid conversation on multiple calls today due to kids and wife yelling at each otherNow imagine it with 3 crazed and deranged animals running around this same home. They shriek and cry with noises that gyrate down the spine and stick inside your eardrums like there was flypaper in your cochleas. You try to evade them, hide, lock doors but they find you and they don't let up. They never. Let up. Relentless in their pursuit for more food, more attention, a charged iPad, finding the remote. You shout back "PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I'M WORKING!" but they feed off your emotions, detecting weaknesses they can exploit. You try reason and bribery, but you've now exposed yourself to be vulnerable. Oh, the home was big when you first bought it, double the size of anything you've ever lived in prior but suddenly, the expanse is very finite and the square footage feels like square centimeters. There's a woman present who can help you, but she doesn't. She hates you. She hates that you did this to her. You must suffer now too, she is no longer alone. Oh, your commute is much better? Partner, you'd walk to Pluto right now to spend the next 10 years filling out cover pages to TPS reports. Oh, you wanna crank up the music? Good idea "Alexa, play me some 90's grunge and play it loud!".....but the animals thwart you. They cackle and shout louder "ALEXA, PLAY BABY SHARK!"......Break room? There are no more breaks.
the highlight was probably the wife yelling “WHO POOPED AND DIDNT FLUSH THE TOILET”