Josie Maran
Footballguy
My favorite AF song. :jealous:
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GM's thread about nothing (29 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
I'm only saying that I hate you right now out of pure jealousy.
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Heh.
Josie Maran
Footballguy
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
And that last post was just so I finally had more posts than Pickles.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
DeMori's?
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
That is awesome!
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Yep. But the chicks are over at Sgt Peppers doing karaoke right now. Activate!
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Cheap shot.
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
SPELLING NAZIS
Josie Maran
Footballguy
I giggled.
Celph Titled
Footballguy
What did he say?
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
He's upset with a painting depicting Jesus cradling a T-Rex?Let's go no avatars for now.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
I am literally five minutes away.
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Just asked what it meant. In a completely non-passive aggressive way even though he might have been accused of it on this very board in the past.
YSR
Footballguy
Check to see if there is a meat raffle.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Opps is a dealbreaker. ######ation clearly involved.
Josie Maran
Footballguy
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
It's a dromaeosaurid.
Celph Titled
Footballguy
You guys cool now?
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Of course. Unlike Zilla, I bring a lot to the table.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
I'm starting to see his point.It's a dromaeosaurid.
Celph Titled
Footballguy
I'm renting my services out. Anyone you want me to fight on a current topic of the FFA, just point me in the direction. Also please direct me as to the level of aggression/vitriol with 1 being shadow-boxing, and 5 being nuclear bombs.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
Literally get in your car.
YSR
Footballguy
You sure you're up to it? What, with all the suckiness lately.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Someday we'll meet there for a Meat Raffle.
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Watch out for that black ice.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
I'd like to know your rates.
Celph Titled
Footballguy
Celph Titled
Footballguy
Demo version. Let's see how this goes.
Gadzooks
Footballguy
So I was watching some Mexican porn, and it reminded of a wild night in Newport about 10 years ago that involved a near bar-room fight with Geraldo Rivera, a batchelorette party that crashed in the same house with us, a near 3-some for me and a dead squirrel.
In the summer of 2000, a long time female friend from home named Mandy was spending the summer in Newport in a house she was renting with her old college roommates. Several times a bunch of us were going to head down there to party, but something always came up and we wouldn't end up going. Finally, me and 2 buddies (Chris and Tommy) made plans to go down one Friday and hangout for the day and night and come back Saturday morning because Tommy had to be back in town for a baptism. We planned it out a couple weeks in advance, but then a few days before our trip, Mandy calls to say she mixed up her dates and she and her roommates were leaving the night before we were heading down there. They were going to a wedding on the Cape and staying there for the weekend. But she told us we could come down and use the house if we wanted to. So we did.
We got down there around 3pm-ish found a liquor store and then went to the house to have a few drinks before heading out for a night on the town. As we are sitting on the couch, the front door opens and 6 very attractive girls walk in. Me and my GBs are stunned and pretty much speechless (I immediately got half a chubby) One of the girls says, "oh we're sorry, are you guys staying here?" We nodded our heads "yes". The girl then says "oh, we are too". (I now have a full chubby) Then she said "you guys must be friends with Mandy, well, we are friends with Stacey, Mandy's roommate. She told us a few weeks ago that we could come down and crash here for the weekend because we're having a batchelorette party tonight, she called us yesterday and said that Mandy had some friends that might be crashing here tonight, we are really sorry and we promise we won't be in your way, we're just gonna get ready and then head out for dinner and go to some bars and then we'll all crash in one room together, we promise we won't bother you guys". Again we nodded our heads "yes" (I still have the full chubby and now "Dream Weaver" is playing in my head)
So the girls pile into the bathroom to get ready and the 3 of us are just sitting on the couch staring at each other and asking if this is really happening. Shockingly, these girls got ready very quickly and headed out. So we sat there trying to comprehend what just happened, and my buddy Chris, gets up and goes into the bedroom where the girls put their stuff. Chris is a tad immature and little crazy, but funny. He comes out of their room with a thong over his face. He said he went thru one of their bags and found the thong and he decided he was going to steal it now so that we would have a souvenir for the night. He was always a forward-thinker.
So then we head out and hit a few bars. We walk into this one bar and it was pretty crowded and it had a DJ and a lot of girls on the dance floor. I went to the men's room and when I came out Tommy, grabs me and says "hey come over here, check out who's here" we go over to the bar and find Geraldo Rivera standing there drinking a beer. I said "hey Geraldo, what's going on?" and he just shook his head and turned the other way, definitely didn't want to talk to us. He kinda seemed like jerk, so I looked over to the dance floor and noticed the batchelorette party girls were in the bar. So I made my over and started talking to a couple of them. After a couple minutes Tommy comes running over and grabs me and says "come over here now, Chris is fighting Geraldo Rivera". It took me a second to register that, because that is definitely a sentence I never thought I would hear. I look over and I see 2 bouncers holding back Geraldo, actually they were trying to drag Geraldo away and Chris was being restrained by the bartender. I go up to Chris and ask WTF is going on and Chris tells me "Friggin Geraldo started it. I was just standing here, and he told me to leave because I was in his space, I told him to relax and he started sayng "do you know who I am? I have black belt, I can kill you with my hands and feet" To which Chris again told him to relax. Then Geraldo grabbed a handful of Chris' shirt and got in his face so Chris pushed him away and then Geraldo charged at him but I guess the bouncers were watching the whole thing and they grabbed Geraldo before he could get to Chris. The bartender then told us that Geraldo does this alot, he comes down, starts drinking and then starts a fight with a younger guy. The bartender then asked us to leave, and Chris told him no way, Geraldo should have to leave. The bartender agreed with us, but said that Geraldo spends A LOT of cash in the bar and they wouldn't kick him out, so it would be easier if we left. So we walked out and Chris flipped off Geraldo on the way out the door, we considered that a moral victory for Chris.
So after we go to a few more bars (where Chris brags to random girls that he just beat up Montell Williams, which was funny because almost every girl would then say how shocked they were that Montell would act like that, Tommy and I decided to let it go and not correct the story, today I kinda feel bad about tarnishing Montell's image) We end up back at the house and we are completely wasted. Then the batchelorette party comes back and they are all wasted as well. Despite my drunken stupor, my chubby is in full effect. So I'm chatting with a couple girls in the kitchen and I hear a lot of laughing in the living room, I go to check it out and I see Chris standing in the middle of the room completely naked. He tends to do this alot when he's really wasted, it's like he becomes a super hero, "Naked Chris". I didn't ask any questions, I went back to the kitchen. The 2 girls I was talking to were very flirty and very touchy-feely with me and each other. I told them I'd be right back and I went into the bathroom, I only went in there to splash water on face hoping I could sober up a bit to enjoy what might possibly be the greatest moment of my life. Then the bathroom door opens and the 2 girls come in and one says that the other girl bet her that she wouldn't kiss me. (Chubby in full effect) So she starts making out with me. The other girls then says that she is getting jealous, I was about to say that she could come over and kiss both of us when all of sudden the door gets pushed open and the bride to be comes running in and starts throwing up everywhere. She barely got any in the toilet, it was mostly on the floor, on my leg and all over herself. All of the girls are now in crisis-mode surrounding the bride and trying to help her. Naked Chris is standing in the door-way with an incredulous look on his face. The mood of the evening completely shifted. (I was back to only half a chubby) The girls were now concerned about whether or not the bride had alcohol poisoning and they were frantically trying to clean the bathroom. Naked Chris and I went out on the porch and smoked a joint. When we went back inside, the bride and 3 other girls (including the 2 girls that were my potential 3-some) were all passed out. The other 2 girls were still trying to clean the bathroom and lectured us about how pot is bad for you and kept asking Naked Chris to put his clothes back on. He politely declined and he actually remained naked until about 2 minutes before we left in the morning.
I told Tommy about the Bride getting sick and Chris getting naked, he just nodded and said that didnt' surprise him at all. The girls seemed relieved that we were leaving so early. As we were walking out, one girl told Chris that he needs to grow up and be more mature. Chris just smiled and nodded in agreement, then he whispered to me "should I tell her that I stole one of their thongs and it's in my back pocket right now?" We both agreed to not to tell that little secret. So we get to my car, and there is a dead squirrel on my hood. I was like WTF. Chris then eloquently stated: "hey, I got in a fight with Geraldo, stole a thong, spent the night naked with 6 chicks without getting laid, watched a bride to be almost vomit to death.... I gotta say, this dead squirrel isn't that shocking to me". Tommy figured the squirrel must have fallen from the telephone wires up above the car and died. We moved the squirrel off the hood with a stick and I noticed there was no dent in my hood. No mark at all. I said that it seemed like the squirrel was already dead and someone put it on my hood.
To this day I am mystified about that dead squirrel and also to this day, Chris swears the dead squirrel was the handy work of Geraldo Rivera.
In the summer of 2000, a long time female friend from home named Mandy was spending the summer in Newport in a house she was renting with her old college roommates. Several times a bunch of us were going to head down there to party, but something always came up and we wouldn't end up going. Finally, me and 2 buddies (Chris and Tommy) made plans to go down one Friday and hangout for the day and night and come back Saturday morning because Tommy had to be back in town for a baptism. We planned it out a couple weeks in advance, but then a few days before our trip, Mandy calls to say she mixed up her dates and she and her roommates were leaving the night before we were heading down there. They were going to a wedding on the Cape and staying there for the weekend. But she told us we could come down and use the house if we wanted to. So we did.
We got down there around 3pm-ish found a liquor store and then went to the house to have a few drinks before heading out for a night on the town. As we are sitting on the couch, the front door opens and 6 very attractive girls walk in. Me and my GBs are stunned and pretty much speechless (I immediately got half a chubby) One of the girls says, "oh we're sorry, are you guys staying here?" We nodded our heads "yes". The girl then says "oh, we are too". (I now have a full chubby) Then she said "you guys must be friends with Mandy, well, we are friends with Stacey, Mandy's roommate. She told us a few weeks ago that we could come down and crash here for the weekend because we're having a batchelorette party tonight, she called us yesterday and said that Mandy had some friends that might be crashing here tonight, we are really sorry and we promise we won't be in your way, we're just gonna get ready and then head out for dinner and go to some bars and then we'll all crash in one room together, we promise we won't bother you guys". Again we nodded our heads "yes" (I still have the full chubby and now "Dream Weaver" is playing in my head)
So the girls pile into the bathroom to get ready and the 3 of us are just sitting on the couch staring at each other and asking if this is really happening. Shockingly, these girls got ready very quickly and headed out. So we sat there trying to comprehend what just happened, and my buddy Chris, gets up and goes into the bedroom where the girls put their stuff. Chris is a tad immature and little crazy, but funny. He comes out of their room with a thong over his face. He said he went thru one of their bags and found the thong and he decided he was going to steal it now so that we would have a souvenir for the night. He was always a forward-thinker.
So then we head out and hit a few bars. We walk into this one bar and it was pretty crowded and it had a DJ and a lot of girls on the dance floor. I went to the men's room and when I came out Tommy, grabs me and says "hey come over here, check out who's here" we go over to the bar and find Geraldo Rivera standing there drinking a beer. I said "hey Geraldo, what's going on?" and he just shook his head and turned the other way, definitely didn't want to talk to us. He kinda seemed like jerk, so I looked over to the dance floor and noticed the batchelorette party girls were in the bar. So I made my over and started talking to a couple of them. After a couple minutes Tommy comes running over and grabs me and says "come over here now, Chris is fighting Geraldo Rivera". It took me a second to register that, because that is definitely a sentence I never thought I would hear. I look over and I see 2 bouncers holding back Geraldo, actually they were trying to drag Geraldo away and Chris was being restrained by the bartender. I go up to Chris and ask WTF is going on and Chris tells me "Friggin Geraldo started it. I was just standing here, and he told me to leave because I was in his space, I told him to relax and he started sayng "do you know who I am? I have black belt, I can kill you with my hands and feet" To which Chris again told him to relax. Then Geraldo grabbed a handful of Chris' shirt and got in his face so Chris pushed him away and then Geraldo charged at him but I guess the bouncers were watching the whole thing and they grabbed Geraldo before he could get to Chris. The bartender then told us that Geraldo does this alot, he comes down, starts drinking and then starts a fight with a younger guy. The bartender then asked us to leave, and Chris told him no way, Geraldo should have to leave. The bartender agreed with us, but said that Geraldo spends A LOT of cash in the bar and they wouldn't kick him out, so it would be easier if we left. So we walked out and Chris flipped off Geraldo on the way out the door, we considered that a moral victory for Chris.
So after we go to a few more bars (where Chris brags to random girls that he just beat up Montell Williams, which was funny because almost every girl would then say how shocked they were that Montell would act like that, Tommy and I decided to let it go and not correct the story, today I kinda feel bad about tarnishing Montell's image) We end up back at the house and we are completely wasted. Then the batchelorette party comes back and they are all wasted as well. Despite my drunken stupor, my chubby is in full effect. So I'm chatting with a couple girls in the kitchen and I hear a lot of laughing in the living room, I go to check it out and I see Chris standing in the middle of the room completely naked. He tends to do this alot when he's really wasted, it's like he becomes a super hero, "Naked Chris". I didn't ask any questions, I went back to the kitchen. The 2 girls I was talking to were very flirty and very touchy-feely with me and each other. I told them I'd be right back and I went into the bathroom, I only went in there to splash water on face hoping I could sober up a bit to enjoy what might possibly be the greatest moment of my life. Then the bathroom door opens and the 2 girls come in and one says that the other girl bet her that she wouldn't kiss me. (Chubby in full effect) So she starts making out with me. The other girls then says that she is getting jealous, I was about to say that she could come over and kiss both of us when all of sudden the door gets pushed open and the bride to be comes running in and starts throwing up everywhere. She barely got any in the toilet, it was mostly on the floor, on my leg and all over herself. All of the girls are now in crisis-mode surrounding the bride and trying to help her. Naked Chris is standing in the door-way with an incredulous look on his face. The mood of the evening completely shifted. (I was back to only half a chubby) The girls were now concerned about whether or not the bride had alcohol poisoning and they were frantically trying to clean the bathroom. Naked Chris and I went out on the porch and smoked a joint. When we went back inside, the bride and 3 other girls (including the 2 girls that were my potential 3-some) were all passed out. The other 2 girls were still trying to clean the bathroom and lectured us about how pot is bad for you and kept asking Naked Chris to put his clothes back on. He politely declined and he actually remained naked until about 2 minutes before we left in the morning.
I told Tommy about the Bride getting sick and Chris getting naked, he just nodded and said that didnt' surprise him at all. The girls seemed relieved that we were leaving so early. As we were walking out, one girl told Chris that he needs to grow up and be more mature. Chris just smiled and nodded in agreement, then he whispered to me "should I tell her that I stole one of their thongs and it's in my back pocket right now?" We both agreed to not to tell that little secret. So we get to my car, and there is a dead squirrel on my hood. I was like WTF. Chris then eloquently stated: "hey, I got in a fight with Geraldo, stole a thong, spent the night naked with 6 chicks without getting laid, watched a bride to be almost vomit to death.... I gotta say, this dead squirrel isn't that shocking to me". Tommy figured the squirrel must have fallen from the telephone wires up above the car and died. We moved the squirrel off the hood with a stick and I noticed there was no dent in my hood. No mark at all. I said that it seemed like the squirrel was already dead and someone put it on my hood.
To this day I am mystified about that dead squirrel and also to this day, Chris swears the dead squirrel was the handy work of Geraldo Rivera.
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
We need more of this.
YSR
Footballguy
Yes, my bad.Meat Raffles are never at night.
Celph Titled
Footballguy
Solid.
I'm T-R-E
Giant Wooden Badger
the Beav
Dude playing the spatula is money.
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
A regular just showed up and said "I need to say 'hi' to some friends, then we' ll do some shots.
Wheeeeee!
Wheeeeee!
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
bostonfred
Footballguy
It seems unlikely that the bachelorette party did it.
Giant Wooden Badger
the Beav
We expect vids.JZilla said:Went ahead and bought myAmazon's like, hey dummy you already bought thisCan't wait to blend along with Forrest
Giant Wooden Badger
the Beav
Oops. Meant to post this in the Arcade Fire thread last night.
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