GM's thread about nothing (15 Viewers)

[General Malaise]

bonus

You at the gun show?

That's Ma Malaise for you.....'Suns out/guns out' is her motto. And we are oh so blessed for this. I need to figure out how to find a pair of bee shorts for men before October 31.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Truck> Brown Sugar Kitchen rules.

 

[bentley]

I'm sure that kids are great but having a five day old that takes constant effort and brings nothing to the table along with a superjealous two year old that is prone to flying into fits of rage will cause one to empty the whiskey from the liquor cabinet.

 

[Gadzooks]

bonus

Is there anyway you can have that viser shipped around the GMTAN so we can all post pics of each other wearing the viser?

 

[bentley]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

 

[YSR]

bonus

You at the gun show?

That's Ma Malaise for you.....'Suns out/guns out' is her motto. And we are oh so blessed for this. I need to figure out how to find a pair of bee shorts for men before October 31.

I was referring more to the strapping man in the blue hat.

 

[General Malaise]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

hide yo guns, hide yo knives.

Congrats, GB. Adorable kids, even if they grow up to murder you.

 

[McJose]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

Good looking kids**SLB posted this when in reply to a pick of my son on FB

 

[FDASv2.0]

a 9/11 tribute thread started in August?? Can you say a tad bit early?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

I remember feeling that hatred myself. And I was 2.5 at the time. It burns hot and bright, my friend. Hot and bright.

 

[General Malaise]

bonus

You at the gun show?

That's Ma Malaise for you.....'Suns out/guns out' is her motto. And we are oh so blessed for this. I need to figure out how to find a pair of bee shorts for men before October 31.

I was referring more to the strapping man in the blue hat.

i was trying to entice Kellen to dance with me.

 

[FDASv2.0]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

Good stuff GB. Congrats again to resetting the clock to 18 years before you get the house back to yourself.

 

[dharmapunk]

Uh huh....now imagine you hated it as a kid, never got the fake lincense plates or keychains and THEN - right in the middle of your college experience where you are trying your damndest to get laid - they come out with a little movie called "Krista Gump".

Thanks, jesus.

That's pretty rough GB. You must have had some pretty thick pasty white skin to get through your childhood.

I bet this is why GM is so funny. I'm not knocking his name (I kind of like it), but with a name like that you either develop a killer sense of humor, learn kung-fu, or become a serial killer.

I agree and I think I'm on record as saying that I'd be gay for him if I was gay and he was better looking and had darker skin.

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

cute kids

gl mang.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Got stood up for predraft drinks. Outside bar having a cigar. Won't be my first solo bar effort I suppose.

 

[dharmapunk]

One the kids next door to us is named Phoenix, spelled right. Good kid. Another one of them is named Orion. Middle one is Ronnie. I always wonder if Ronnie gets up thanking his lucky stars he was named after his dad.

In a family with the names Phoenix, Ronnie and Orion, I'd want to be Phoenix or Orion...at least until I was grown up. You think Thor and Loki had a brother named Frank that was grateful for his name?

Definitely. Thor, god of thunder.Loki, god of mischief.Frank, god of sandwiches.

 

[eoMMan]

Got stood up for predraft drinks. Outside bar having a cigar. Won't be my first solo bar effort I suppose.

Pickles? Woz?

 

[Drifter]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

Yeah, I recognize that, "I'll sit here and let you take my picture but I hate this ####### thing" look.

 

[eoMMan]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

Cute kids.When are they invading Poland?

 

[commisholio]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

I've seen that look before. GL GB. It will get worse before it gets better. My wife wonders why we go though so much scotch...

 

[McJose]

Public enemies #1 and 2

You can tell that JR is plotting to kill us all from the look in his eyes.

Cute kids.When are they invading Poland?

 

[kotzwinkle]

bonus

You at the gun show?

That's Ma Malaise for you.....'Suns out/guns out' is her motto. And we are oh so blessed for this. I need to figure out how to find a pair of bee shorts for men before October 31.

I was referring more to the strapping man in the blue hat.

I don't think he's very vascular.

 

[dharmapunk]

In an hour I'm leaving for the first family outing to a baseball game in a year.

JTG will remember the last flysack family night at the ballpark. It was Sack jr.'s first game. He was three and could barely contain his excitement. He ate hotdogs. He drank chocolate milk. He bounced around in his seat.

Then in the top of the fourth he has to go to the bathroom. I look at my wife. She looks at me. I say, "who do you want to take you, mommy or daddy?"

To this day I love the little f@#ker for saying, "Mommy!"

They leave.

The top and bottom of the fourth pass.

At the start of the fifth, my wife appears with the child in toe. She's clinging her white peasant skirt nervously and looks wildly distressed.

"Get the bag" (meaning her bag of child stuff, like wipes, etc.)

"Ok. Do you need help?"

"Just get my bag. And get my purse. Get everything."

"Um, do we need to go?"

"YES."

Turns out while he was peeing in the toilet, he farted a warning shot, then exploded a massive shart right onto my wife's white peasant skirt. That's why she had it bunched up to her knees. The thing was stained full of crap.

Now we return to the scene of the crime.

I just told the boy that we're going to ballpark again. "Do you remember what happened last time?"

"Yea," he laughs evilly, "I pooed all over mommy!" More laughter. "That was silly!"

I try not to laugh but can't help it.

"Um, you won't do that again, right?"

He just laughs more, then runs off.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Got stood up for predraft drinks. Outside bar having a cigar. Won't be my first solo bar effort I suppose.

Pickles? Woz?

I wish. No.

 

[FDASv2.0]

Like I said earlier, going to a draft tomorrow in a league with some guys from my church. No money, just for fun, I have no real interest in winning. 12 teams, maybe one or two decent players, the rest will fight over Cowboys early in the draft.

What would be the best drafting shtick to bring humor here to the GMTAN on Monday morning?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Peasant skirt seemed like an unnecessary detail until I read on. Lol

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Like I said earlier, going to a draft tomorrow in a league with some guys from my church. No money, just for fun, I have no real interest in winning. 12 teams, maybe one or two decent players, the rest will fight over Cowboys early in the draft.What would be the best drafting shtick to bring humor here to the GMTAN on Monday morning?

Draft players that are either on the same team or have been a teammate ( college alma mater or pro) of the player picked right before you.

 

[McJose]

In an hour I'm leaving for the first family outing to a baseball game in a year.JTG will remember the last flysack family night at the ballpark. It was Sack jr.'s first game. He was three and could barely contain his excitement. He ate hotdogs. He drank chocolate milk. He bounced around in his seat.Then in the top of the fourth he has to go to the bathroom. I look at my wife. She looks at me. I say, "who do you want to take you, mommy or daddy?"To this day I love the little f@#ker for saying, "Mommy!"They leave. The top and bottom of the fourth pass. At the start of the fifth, my wife appears with the child in toe. She's clinging her white peasant skirt nervously and looks wildly distressed."Get the bag" (meaning her bag of child stuff, like wipes, etc.)"Ok. Do you need help?""Just get my bag. And get my purse. Get everything.""Um, do we need to go?""YES."Turns out while he was peeing in the toilet, he farted a warning shot, then exploded a massive shart right onto my wife's white peasant skirt. That's why she had it bunched up to her knees. The thing was stained full of crap.Now we return to the scene of the crime.I just told the boy that we're going to ballpark again. "Do you remember what happened last time?""Yea," he laughs evilly, "I pooed all over mommy!" More laughter. "That was silly!"I try not to laugh but can't help it."Um, you won't do that again, right?" He just laughs more, then runs off.

 

[kotzwinkle]

Like I said earlier, going to a draft tomorrow in a league with some guys from my church. No money, just for fun, I have no real interest in winning. 12 teams, maybe one or two decent players, the rest will fight over Cowboys early in the draft.What would be the best drafting shtick to bring humor here to the GMTAN on Monday morning?

draft only players with the last name of johnson or jackson. your qb will be a second-stringer for the bucs, but the rest of your team should be stacked.

 

[dharmapunk]

EXACTLY.

 

[mr. furley]

Does not sound like a painful medical condition at all....I almost want to chuckle when I hear it.

do not taunt gout

 

[General Malaise]

bonus

You at the gun show?

That's Ma Malaise for you.....'Suns out/guns out' is her motto. And we are oh so blessed for this. I need to figure out how to find a pair of bee shorts for men before October 31.

I was referring more to the strapping man in the blue hat.

I don't think he's very vascular.

And that's my SUMMER glow! hey, do you and Drifter want to try for a beer in Seattle tomorrow night? I'm in town for a draft and to see friends, but might have some time to grab a cold one if either of you (or both) wanted to meet up.

 

[Tiger Fan]

We have two boys, Doug and Jim. Trying to help, gb.

Thank you, sir.

I've got a Ben and an Abby.

I'm afraid I'm bringing the class average down with my two...and I'm not even going to admit what we were going with this spring had we made it full term and provided number 3 had a penis.

Don't worry about it. At least you spelled their names right...at least I know one of them is.

Cooper (rhymes with 'pooper') is coming on strong as a popular name, but I'm curious how people would go about an alternate spelling. Cuper? With an oomlout?

The oldest Manning brother is Cooper (pronounced Cup-per)seriously

Hang on here...Redmond Longhorn is personal friends with this cat....I'm going to ask him about the validity of this. I don't buy it.

From CNNSI article: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1030460/index.htm

It's not Coo-per, by the way, but Cupper. No, it's not Cupper either. His Southern roots are deep, so the name sounds more like Cooker. You need to practice saying it a few times before trying it out on him. Get it wrong and he'll correct you before your tongue can reset itself. "You don't eat a chocolate-chip coo-kee, do you?" he asks. "No, you eat a cookie. My name is pronounced the same way. It's Cuh-pah. Cuh-pah,"

 

[General Malaise]

Peasant skirt seemed like an unnecessary detail until I read on. Lol

Gonna have to go to the google on this one...brb.

 

[kotzwinkle]

bonus

You at the gun show?

That's Ma Malaise for you.....'Suns out/guns out' is her motto. And we are oh so blessed for this. I need to figure out how to find a pair of bee shorts for men before October 31.

I was referring more to the strapping man in the blue hat.

I don't think he's very vascular.

And that's my SUMMER glow! hey, do you and Drifter want to try for a beer in Seattle tomorrow night? I'm in town for a draft and to see friends, but might have some time to grab a cold one if either of you (or both) wanted to meet up.

would totally be in, but I'm going to vegas for a draft this weekend.

 

[General Malaise]

Peasant skirt seemed like an unnecessary detail until I read on. Lol

Gonna have to go to the google on this one...brb.

Interesting. Didn't know the Amish went to ball games.

 

[General Malaise]

bonus

You at the gun show?

That's Ma Malaise for you.....'Suns out/guns out' is her motto. And we are oh so blessed for this. I need to figure out how to find a pair of bee shorts for men before October 31.

I was referring more to the strapping man in the blue hat.

I don't think he's very vascular.

And that's my SUMMER glow! hey, do you and Drifter want to try for a beer in Seattle tomorrow night? I'm in town for a draft and to see friends, but might have some time to grab a cold one if either of you (or both) wanted to meet up.

would totally be in, but I'm going to vegas for a draft this weekend.

DRIFTER: ANNOUNCE!

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Like I said earlier, going to a draft tomorrow in a league with some guys from my church. No money, just for fun, I have no real interest in winning. 12 teams, maybe one or two decent players, the rest will fight over Cowboys early in the draft.What would be the best drafting shtick to bring humor here to the GMTAN on Monday morning?

Draft players that are either on the same team or have been a teammate ( college alma mater or pro) of the player picked right before you.

Chris Johnson (East Carolina) going in front of you would hurt in this format.

 

[General Malaise]

We have two boys, Doug and Jim. Trying to help, gb.

Thank you, sir.

I've got a Ben and an Abby.

I'm afraid I'm bringing the class average down with my two...and I'm not even going to admit what we were going with this spring had we made it full term and provided number 3 had a penis.

Don't worry about it. At least you spelled their names right...at least I know one of them is.

Cooper (rhymes with 'pooper') is coming on strong as a popular name, but I'm curious how people would go about an alternate spelling. Cuper? With an oomlout?

The oldest Manning brother is Cooper (pronounced Cup-per)seriously

Hang on here...Redmond Longhorn is personal friends with this cat....I'm going to ask him about the validity of this. I don't buy it.

From CNNSI article: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/vault/article/magazine/MAG1030460/index.htm

It's not Coo-per, by the way, but Cupper. No, it's not Cupper either. His Southern roots are deep, so the name sounds more like Cooker. You need to practice saying it a few times before trying it out on him. Get it wrong and he'll correct you before your tongue can reset itself. "You don't eat a chocolate-chip coo-kee, do you?" he asks. "No, you eat a cookie. My name is pronounced the same way. It's Cuh-pah. Cuh-pah,"

he kind of reads like a dooooosh, imo. COOP is so much more fun to to yell at a sporting event than CUP.

also, never heard anyone say 'he flew the CUHP'...it's COOP. Sounds like Poop. Flew the Coop. Not Cup.

Easily my least favorite Manning now.

 

[General Malaise]

Like I said earlier, going to a draft tomorrow in a league with some guys from my church. No money, just for fun, I have no real interest in winning. 12 teams, maybe one or two decent players, the rest will fight over Cowboys early in the draft.What would be the best drafting shtick to bring humor here to the GMTAN on Monday morning?

Draft players that are either on the same team or have been a teammate ( college alma mater or pro) of the player picked right before you.

Chris Johnson (East Carolina) going in front of you would hurt in this format.

Jeff Blake FTW!

 

[shamwow!]

Just picked up some 4 Loko and a 12 pack of talls for my draft tonight. I hope I can still see by the 6th round

Oh and we plan on going out afterwards.

Slap it high?

 

[General Malaise]

Dropping wife/kids at airport tomorrow. She's taking them to Michigan with her for a week. Pretty ambitious gal, this one. I'll be driving up to Seattle as soon as they are out of the car for my draft on Sunday. Staying with my little brother from fraternity days at his lovely Seattle home (tremendous views of Ranier, City Skyline, Space Needle, Olympic Mts). One of my oldest friends from Dallas is flying up for a wedding this weekend, so he'll be joining us for the draft and will hang out with us on Sunday night. Haven't seen this guy since my FIRST wedding in 2001. Looking very forward to this.

Took Monday off work in anticipation of a zombie like state that morning and though I mentioned something about coming in around noon (assuming an early wake up/drive back to Portland) there's about a 1% chance I actually come in.

Will fly out to Detroit on Wednesday to meet up with wife/kids. Kids don't know I'm coming, so it'll be a pretty cool surprise when I show up. They've been begging me all summer to buy a ticket and meet them out there.

Should be an awesome final 10 days of summer...one of the best ones I can remember.

 

[Lieutenant Dan]

GM's long lost non-albino brother

 

[Reginald Cornsilks]

6 ounces deep into a sniffer of Makers Mark at the bar. Why is it only the ugly cougars hit on me?

Is it because I'm ugly? Because in posting on FBG from a bar? both?

Was hoping to get balls deep in someone named Debbie or Pat tonight. Don't ban me for that Joe, I'll buy a dingy from you after my neighborhood gets flooded.

 

[Reginald Cornsilks]

A female Pat, before anyone says it.

 

[Lomez]

Like I said earlier, going to a draft tomorrow in a league with some guys from my church. No money, just for fun, I have no real interest in winning. 12 teams, maybe one or two decent players, the rest will fight over Cowboys early in the draft.What would be the best drafting shtick to bring humor here to the GMTAN on Monday morning?

draft only players with the last name of johnson or jackson. your qb will be a second-stringer for the bucs, but the rest of your team should be stacked.

I tried telling everyone last season that the best approach to drafting was to grab 3 Johnsons. They all chuckled and ignored me.

 

[krista4]

Like I said earlier, going to a draft tomorrow in a league with some guys from my church. No money, just for fun, I have no real interest in winning. 12 teams, maybe one or two decent players, the rest will fight over Cowboys early in the draft.What would be the best drafting shtick to bring humor here to the GMTAN on Monday morning?

draft only players with the last name of johnson or jackson. your qb will be a second-stringer for the bucs, but the rest of your team should be stacked.

I tried telling everyone last season that the best approach to drafting was to grab 3 Johnsons. They all chuckled and ignored me.

I remember watching a Bengals game a few years ago ( ) in which one of the commentators exclaimed, "There sure are a lot of Johnsons out there on the field!"On a separate note, wanted to give a public huge to Guster for sending me a four-page detailed description of all the best places to go in Belgium, after I posted on Facebook that I'd be there for a few days. This is awesome! Ever think of writing travel guides?

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Just picked up some 4 Loko and a 12 pack of talls for my draft tonight. I hope I can still see by the 6th roundOh and we plan on going out afterwards.Slap it high?

Shops still sell 4 Loko?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Just picked up some 4 Loko and a 12 pack of talls for my draft tonight. I hope I can still see by the 6th roundOh and we plan on going out afterwards.Slap it high?

Shops still sell 4 Loko?

I believe Four Loko had to take the caffeine out. The caffeine + alcohol mixture was frowned upon by the FDA.

 

[Reginald Cornsilks]

You know you've worn out your welcome at the local bar when you walk in and 2 guys you've never seen before in your life look and say "There he is!  This guy is hilarious!!!"