GM's thread about nothing (42 Viewers)

[Officer Pete Malloy]

You guys all working today or what?

Film day.

Which one?

 

[Tremendous Upside]

You guys all working today or what?

Film day.

Which one?

Today

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

You guys all working today or what?

Film day.

Which one?

Today

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Class of '84?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Class of '84?

I am the future!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

YSR post from sometime in 2016?

He actually hit quads (Ks, Js) in two hands, but he played super tight (first time at this game) and he actually did kind of treat it like a job (his words). His feeling is that there is more to be made at that game, especially since the host has open bar, etc, and he's not one for excessive booze or coke.

How much coke is considered excessive?

YSR post from sometime in 2016?

Would smash.

YSR?

 

[Idiot Boxer]

[QUOTE='SLB]

YSR post from sometime in 2016?

Would smash.

YSR?[/QUOTE]In 2016, if this is indeed future her. If it instead some other redneck, then her.

 

[General Malaise]

It was also pretty hilarious (really sad) at the beginning of the event. The guy in charge of fund raising, somebody sent in from HQ I guess, starts his spiel by saying "Now I don't want you to get worried, you probably noticed my uniform is a different color than the rest of the troop leaders. That's just because of my rank."

Oh alright dude.

Can you imagine the comedic potential of me, you, Tanner, Cos, Shuke and more as troop leaders running this little Jamboree thing?

"Okay, troops. After breakfast, General Malaise will teach you some important knots, like the square and the shoe-tier. St. Louis Bob will lead a discussion about how to trap poisonous snakes in a bag. Cosjobs will be teaching the art of making the perfect S'More. Tanner's got disc golf lessons at 13:00 and Shuke is going to read out loud from his latest novel before supper."

So you're concocting a hypothetical creww of GMTANers as Scout Leaders and I don't even make the cut? Seriously?I mean, there isn't a "Do any of you have younger sisters?" joke in there somewhere?

There are so many options here. Flysack's conference entitled "Books that weigh more than you." Uruk and Krista could host an interactive course on spotting the differences betweeen human trafficking and just some neighbor's hot daughters. Tanner's "alternative history" shtick could be epic...a symposium on how JFK's legacy was ruined by the League of Nations. My god, manb, the possibilities are endless.

Oh, I had you in there, GB, but I'm trying to avoid pedo jokes so I can continue receiving fine Nicaraguan cigars in the future.

 

[heckmanm]

My stepson's Boy Scout leader send out an e-mail yesterday entitled "Boy Scouts under Legislative Attack", ranting against the discussions over lifting the ban on gays. (I see now that California is considering stripping the BSA's state tax breaks over the issue, so maybe that's the "legislative" part.) Chock full of nuggets like:

[*]I am not against gays.

[*]I don’t want to force anything on them and I don’t want them to force their beliefs/values on me

[*]The safety and future of our youth are at stake.

[*]If gay scouts want to be in scouting let them start their own Gay Scouts of the Rainbow or whatever they want to call it.

My wife (whose brother is gay) was about as mad as I've seen her since a local state lawmaker went after the Girl Scouts around this time last year (She was a Girl Scout through high school and is currently a leader for 2 different troops).

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My stepson's Boy Scout leader send out an e-mail yesterday entitled "Boy Scouts under Legislative Attack", ranting against the discussions over lifting the ban on gays. (I see now that California is considering stripping the BSA's state tax breaks over the issue, so maybe that's the "legislative" part.) Chock full of nuggets like:

[*]I am not against gays.

[*]I don’t want to force anything on them and I don’t want them to force their beliefs/values on me

[*]The safety and future of our youth are at stake.

[*]If gay scouts want to be in scouting let them start their own Gay Scouts of the Rainbow or whatever they want to call it.

My wife (whose brother is gay) was about as mad as I've seen her since a local state lawmaker went after the Girl Scouts around this time last year (She was a Girl Scout through high school and is currently a leader for 2 different troops).

Reply "On the next camping trip, I want you to be the one that spits in my hand".

 

[Good Posting Judge]

My stepson's Boy Scout leader send out an e-mail yesterday entitled "Boy Scouts under Legislative Attack", ranting against the discussions over lifting the ban on gays. (I see now that California is considering stripping the BSA's state tax breaks over the issue, so maybe that's the "legislative" part.) Chock full of nuggets like:

[*]I am not against gays.

[*]I don’t want to force anything on them and I don’t want them to force their beliefs/values on me

[*]The safety and future of our youth are at stake.

[*]If gay scouts want to be in scouting let them start their own Gay Scouts of the Rainbow or whatever they want to call it.

My wife (whose brother is gay) was about as mad as I've seen her since a local state lawmaker went after the Girl Scouts around this time last year (She was a Girl Scout through high school and is currently a leader for 2 different troops).

Reply "On the next camping trip, I want you to be the one that spits in my hand".

Hey, come on man. There might be kids who read this board.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

My stepson's Boy Scout leader send out an e-mail yesterday entitled "Boy Scouts under Legislative Attack", ranting against the discussions over lifting the ban on gays. (I see now that California is considering stripping the BSA's state tax breaks over the issue, so maybe that's the "legislative" part.) Chock full of nuggets like:

[*]I am not against gays.

[*]I don’t want to force anything on them and I don’t want them to force their beliefs/values on me



[*]The safety and future of our youth are at stake.

[*]If gay scouts want to be in scouting let them start their own Gay Scouts of the Rainbow or whatever they want to call it.

My wife (whose brother is gay) was about as mad as I've seen her since a local state lawmaker went after the Girl Scouts around this time last year (She was a Girl Scout through high school and is currently a leader for 2 different troops).

Unlike when scoutmasters molest scouts. That was perfectly safe.

 

[T Bell]

Ugh, I'm fighting a painful sinus infection here. I get them at least once every winter. Last winter I went to my doctor begging for antibiotics but he refused to write a script, saying it's better for my body to just fight them off naturally, as while antibiotics will speed up the healing process, they're also creating stronger, more resistant viruses.

"Better?" I wanted to say. "Better for who? Me? No. Humanity, ok. The future, ok. But not me. #### the world, you self-righteous *******; give me my drugs!@#"

But I just said, "ok" and suffered an extra couple weeks.

< -- biological martyr. <_<

Think globally, act nasally.

 

[T Bell]

Has anyone listened to music wearing headphones, forgotten where they are, and cut a loud fart? I just did in the campus library.

 

[Thorn]

The amusing thing I read about the scouts was some leader who said, what if two gays are leading a troop and they're out in the woods and start being flirtatious or even sexual?Yes, because you would be unable to discipline/remove a leader who starts boinking someone else in front of kids whether homo or hetero.

 

[T Bell]

Hollymeme Squares?

Still the best meme-ish thing in recent memory.

literally

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

The amusing thing I read about the scouts was some leader who said, what if two gays are leading a troop and they're out in the woods and start being flirtatious or even sexual?Yes, because you would be unable to discipline/remove a leader who starts boinking someone else in front of kids whether homo or hetero.

At least twice a day I wag my dong at the broad that teaches across the way from me.

 

[T Bell]

The amusing thing I read about the scouts was some leader who said, what if two gays are leading a troop and they're out in the woods and start being flirtatious or even sexual?Yes, because you would be unable to discipline/remove a leader who starts boinking someone else in front of kids whether homo or hetero.

What happens in vegetation, stays in vegetation.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Hollymeme Squares?

Still the best meme-ish thing in recent memory.

literally

I've had that pic on my refigerator for the last month.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

The amusing thing I read about the scouts was some leader who said, what if two gays are leading a troop and they're out in the woods and start being flirtatious or even sexual?Yes, because you would be unable to discipline/remove a leader who starts boinking someone else in front of kids whether homo or hetero.

What happens in vegetation, stays in vegetation.

"Well you see, scouts, Scoutmaster Rick suffered a serious snakebite to the tip of his penis and I was just..."

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My stepson's Boy Scout leader send out an e-mail yesterday entitled "Boy Scouts under Legislative Attack", ranting against the discussions over lifting the ban on gays. (I see now that California is considering stripping the BSA's state tax breaks over the issue, so maybe that's the "legislative" part.) Chock full of nuggets like:

[*]I am not against gays.

[*]I don’t want to force anything on them and I don’t want them to force their beliefs/values on me



[*]The safety and future of our youth are at stake.

[*]If gay scouts want to be in scouting let them start their own Gay Scouts of the Rainbow or whatever they want to call it.

My wife (whose brother is gay) was about as mad as I've seen her since a local state lawmaker went after the Girl Scouts around this time last year (She was a Girl Scout through high school and is currently a leader for 2 different troops).

Unlike when scoutmasters molest scouts. That was perfectly safe.

Has anyone listened to music wearing headphones, forgotten where they are, and cut a loud fart?

I just did in the campus library.

The amusing thing I read about the scouts was some leader who said, what if two gays are leading a troop and they're out in the woods and start being flirtatious or even sexual?

Yes, because you would be unable to discipline/remove a leader who starts boinking someone else in front of kids whether homo or hetero.

I was so bored on the last camping trip even two guys banging would have been better than sitting there doing nothing.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I was so bored on the last camping trip even two guys banging would have been better than sitting there doing nothing.

"Would you two sodomize each other or something? I'm bored out of my #### over here."

 

[T Bell]

I was so bored on the last camping trip even two guys banging would have been better than sitting there doing nothing.

"Would you two sodomize each other or something? I'm bored out of my #### over here."

"This isn't the Vatican! Is this the Vatican?"

 

[General Malaise]

Pre gay?

 

[T Bell]

Pre gay?

Seems more pre-Harry Potter.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Pre gay?

Don't think there's any pre- involved here.NTTAWWT.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Pre gay?

"Cascadia" just sounds gay right off the bat.

 

[Thorn]

Nobody cares whether you’re gay, straight or religious.

I didn't realize "religious" was the third option. Interesting.

 

[flysack]

You guys all working today or what?

Film day.

Which one?

Persepolis, as a springboard for reading Reading Lolita In Tehran. .

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

You guys all working today or what?

Film day.

Which one?

Persepolis, as a springboard for reading Reading Lolita In Tehran. .

Sounds pretty communist if you ask me.

 

[flysack]

Has anyone listened to music wearing headphones, forgotten where they are, and cut a loud fart? I just did in the campus library.

Forgotten? I do this on purpose and pretend to be oblivious.

 

[flysack]

You guys all working today or what?

Film day.

Which one?

Persepolis, as a springboard for reading Reading Lolita In Tehran. .

Sounds pretty communist if you ask me.

There is a brief dialogue between Karl Marx and Allah. But it ends with Allah rolling his eyes, so I'm clearly only training future terrorists.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Felis catus stupidus

 

[Sweet J]

So a question for the powers that be:

First, some facts to set things up:

1. I ####ing love to gamble. Love it. And in particular, I love to play poker. Mostly 1-2NL. I'm probably down over my lifetime. In particular, the last couple of years I have lost more than I won (my patience with starting hands needs work). But I think if I play my best, I probably could be a net positive player at the 1-2 level.

2. My wife hates the very idea of gambling. She's not a religious fanatic by any means, but her disdain for all things gambling borders on spiritual. She once told me she has a moral problem with gambling.

3. I will fully admit I have a borderling gambling problem, in that I could sit down and play for 15 hours straight (not to disimilar from my ability to play video games for hours on end. It is a nice escape). I also have had "poker benders" where I have lost a couple hundred and go on tilt and re-buy when I should just walk away. I've had a couple of times where I have come home after loosing a grand or so and felt pretty ####ty about myself.

4. But I still love to play. When the above happens, I take a few months off, lick my wounds, save up money, and try again.

5. Last september or so, I had a work trip to Albuquerque where I spend a week there, and played at the poker room, and probably lost about $2k over the course of the week. I felt bad about it and told my wife when I got home, and told her I'd take a break from playing poker. I did. I also cut down on expenses and decided not to go on a couple of year-end trips to make up for the money I dropped.

6. Other than the above, playing poker hasn't really affected my life negatively, and as a household, we have NEVER wanted. For example:

7. Bills are always paid on time every month, which includes maxing out my retirement, my wife's Roth IRA, $500 or so on the kids' 529, and a little left over for savings. So even if I drop 2k a year (say) on poker, all those other things are getting paid.

8. Because my wife is a royal btch about it when I play, I will usually lie to her about going. I generally save money here and there during the year, and then go play. And then I play on my winnings (until september, I'd been playing on the same $1k or so slush fund for the last 5 years or so). I either play on a work-trip, or I take a sick day and go play at the casino about an hour away.

9. I want to go play a little poker. I've saved up about $500 bucks from here and there without wife knowing.

10. The majority of all household expenses are paid by my salary.

11. I'm undecided if I have a gambling problem, or if I am ok with gambling generally, but I have days where I have impulse control.

12. Wife is ADAMANT that she doesn't want me playing poker, but has admitted that she can't really do anything to stop me (aside from being a btch to me when I do, which is remarkably effective).

So, questions, I guess:

Does anyone have any thoughts on the matter? I am torn here, because although it is technically "household" money, she's been living a VERY nice life for the last 12 years thanks to my ability to bring it in, and I'm a little bitter.

Does bostonfred read GMTAN? rabidfireweasel? Anyone else have thoughts? I'm kind of at a loss about moving forward.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So a question for the powers that be:

First, some facts to set things up:

1. I ####ing love to gamble. Love it. And in particular, I love to play poker. Mostly 1-2NL. I'm probably down over my lifetime. In particular, the last couple of years I have lost more than I won (my patience with starting hands needs work). But I think if I play my best, I probably could be a net positive player at the 1-2 level.

2. My wife hates the very idea of gambling. She's not a religious fanatic by any means, but her disdain for all things gambling borders on spiritual. She once told me she has a moral problem with gambling.

3. I will fully admit I have a borderling gambling problem, in that I could sit down and play for 15 hours straight (not to disimilar from my ability to play video games for hours on end. It is a nice escape). I also have had "poker benders" where I have lost a couple hundred and go on tilt and re-buy when I should just walk away. I've had a couple of times where I have come home after loosing a grand or so and felt pretty ####ty about myself.

4. But I still love to play. When the above happens, I take a few months off, lick my wounds, save up money, and try again.

5. Last september or so, I had a work trip to Albuquerque where I spend a week there, and played at the poker room, and probably lost about $2k over the course of the week. I felt bad about it and told my wife when I got home, and told her I'd take a break from playing poker. I did. I also cut down on expenses and decided not to go on a couple of year-end trips to make up for the money I dropped.

6. Other than the above, playing poker hasn't really affected my life negatively, and as a household, we have NEVER wanted. For example:

7. Bills are always paid on time every month, which includes maxing out my retirement, my wife's Roth IRA, $500 or so on the kids' 529, and a little left over for savings. So even if I drop 2k a year (say) on poker, all those other things are getting paid.

8. Because my wife is a royal btch about it when I play, I will usually lie to her about going. I generally save money here and there during the year, and then go play. And then I play on my winnings (until september, I'd been playing on the same $1k or so slush fund for the last 5 years or so). I either play on a work-trip, or I take a sick day and go play at the casino about an hour away.

9. I want to go play a little poker. I've saved up about $500 bucks from here and there without wife knowing.

10. The majority of all household expenses are paid by my salary.

11. I'm undecided if I have a gambling problem, or if I am ok with gambling generally, but I have days where I have impulse control.

12. Wife is ADAMANT that she doesn't want me playing poker, but has admitted that she can't really do anything to stop me (aside from being a btch to me when I do, which is remarkably effective).

So, questions, I guess:

Does anyone have any thoughts on the matter? I am torn here, because although it is technically "household" money, she's been living a VERY nice life for the last 12 years thanks to my ability to bring it in, and I'm a little bitter.

Does bostonfred read GMTAN? rabidfireweasel? Anyone else have thoughts? I'm kind of at a loss about moving forward.

Tough one. I would like to say that if your financial loses do not negatively impact your family that your wife should pipe down. But then again if you aren't a very good poker player (i'm terrible at it) you might want to step back and reevaluate things.

 

[UniAlias]

Taking a sick day from work just so you can go gamble without your spouse knowing sounds really bad.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

she's been living a VERY nice life for the last 12 years thanks to my ability to bring it in, and I'm a little bitter.

Welcome to my world. :manhug:Yes, BF & RFW both check in here.

Taking a sick day from work just so you can go gamble without your spouse knowing sounds really bad.

My link

 

[Sweet J]

Taking a sick day from work just so you can go gamble without your spouse knowing sounds really bad.

One correction (not sure if it makes a difference or not): I actually take annual leave, not sick days. For what it's worth. And mainly because I want to spend time with the kids on the weekends, so playing on weekends is something that I avoid. Doesn't leave me many options, I guess.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

she's been living a VERY nice life for the last 12 years thanks to my ability to bring it in, and I'm a little bitter.

Welcome to my world. :manhug:Yes, BF & RFW both check in here.

Taking a sick day from work just so you can go gamble without your spouse knowing sounds really bad.

My link

But I do agree with Uni.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

she's been living a VERY nice life for the last 12 years thanks to my ability to bring it in, and I'm a little bitter.

Welcome to my world. :manhug:Yes, BF & RFW both check in here.

Taking a sick day from work just so you can go gamble without your spouse knowing sounds really bad.

My link

But I do agree with Uni.

Me too plus I really like the guy. Just couldn't resist.

 

[UniAlias]

she's been living a VERY nice life for the last 12 years thanks to my ability to bring it in, and I'm a little bitter.

Welcome to my world. :manhug:Yes, BF & RFW both check in here.

Taking a sick day from work just so you can go gamble without your spouse knowing sounds really bad.

My link

 

[Sweet J]

But I do agree with Uni.

Yeah, I'm trying to keep an open mind here.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Can you swing a "poker isn't gambling, it's skill" argument?Doesn't sound like you are dropping Gs on blackjack or craps or the horses

 

[UniAlias]

Taking a sick day from work just so you can go gamble without your spouse knowing sounds really bad.

One correction (not sure if it makes a difference or not): I actually take annual leave, not sick days. For what it's worth. And mainly because I want to spend time with the kids on the weekends, so playing on weekends is something that I avoid. Doesn't leave me many options, I guess.

Doesn't seem quite as bad then. I thought you meant you were lying to your employer. Sounds like you just enjoy playing casually, not nearly an addict.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Can you swing a "poker isn't gambling, it's skill" argument?Doesn't sound like you are dropping Gs on blackjack or craps or the horses

But (speaking from experience) if you're not very good at it you might as well be playing blackjack or craps or the ponies.

 

[bostonfred]

You need to be honest about your gambling. It sounds like you are trying to. Thats a good thing. Tilt is not the same as a gambling problem, but it can definitely lead to serious gambling problems if you go beyond your means and lose money you can't afford. It sounds like you have a ####ty bankroll for playing, and it sounds like you don't take protecting that bankroll seriously enough to be a winning player. That's true of most poker players, myself included. So lets call it what it is. Youre not gambling, youre paying for entertainment, and its an expensive hobby that your wife disapproves of. The question you need to answer for yourself is, what do you get out of gambling that makes it so important to you that you're willing to be a consistent loser and keep spending large amounts of time on something your wife disapproves of enough for you to lie to her about it? I don't mean that in as negative a way as it sounds - this may seem like a really loaded question, but its one you need to answer for yourself if you want to make a good decision here. Is it the chance to get away from your wife? The chance to be out with the guys? Or meet new people at a poker table, if you're playing with strangers? Is it the juice you feel when you win a big hand? Im willing to bet (no pun intended) that you'd say all of the above, but the big one is the dopamine rush you get from winning. Thats why you play too many hands even though you know better. Dopamine is literally the best drug on earth, because its made by your brain and it gives you a happy and almost satisfied feeling that other drugs can only simulate. And if thats your drug of choice, cool. There's nothing wrong with recreational drug or alcohol use in and of itself. Things start to go wrong when you lie to yourself and your family about it.So now the next question is, is this how you want your life to be? Do you want your occasional indulgences in dopamine to cause problems with your marriage? is this costing you more than, say, golf? Or some other hobby you might take up instead? Have you considered what else you'd like to do with the time and money you spend on gambling? Once you've answered these questions, and can talk about them confidently and honestly with your wife, you can have the conversation with her. But most gamblers don't have good answers to these questions, and the serious conversations don't happen until after the problem gets out of control. You're at a good point in the process to make clear headed decisions. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here that somebody can give you, and while you've mentioned some relationship issues in the past, I don't think there's anybody as important in this process as your wife.

 

[Thorn]

I'm a single guy, so take it for what it's worth, but it seems to me the real problem is lying to your wife and sneaking around. No chance of having a sit-down with her and saying look, I'm not risking our future, I'm not cheating, I'm not doing 1000 other things that would be dangerous or illegal. I happen to enjoy, as a hobby, a perfectly legal poker day now and then. Let's agree that I'll save X dollars in a separate account, and I'll let you know when I'm going, give you half of it to spend on whatever frivolous thing like (healing oils?), but you'll agree not to give me a hard time about it.Or is that just crazy talk?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I'm a single guy, so take it for what it's worth, but it seems to me the real problem is lying to your wife and sneaking around. No chance of having a sit-down with her and saying look, I'm not risking our future, I'm not cheating, I'm not doing 1000 other things that would be dangerous or illegal. I happen to enjoy, as a hobby, a perfectly legal poker day now and then. Let's agree that I'll save X dollars in a separate account, and I'll let you know when I'm going, give you half of it to spend on whatever frivolous thing like (healing oils?), but you'll agree not to give me a hard time about it.Or is that just crazy talk?

No, you're pretty much spot on. It would be the same if his wife was lying about how much she spends on clothes or getting her hair done or essential oils.

 

[Sweet J]

You need to be honest about your gambling. It sounds like you are trying to. Thats a good thing. Tilt is not the same as a gambling problem, but it can definitely lead to serious gambling problems if you go beyond your means and lose money you can't afford. It sounds like you have a ####ty bankroll for playing, and it sounds like you don't take protecting that bankroll seriously enough to be a winning player. That's true of most poker players, myself included. So lets call it what it is. Youre not gambling, youre paying for entertainment, and its an expensive hobby that your wife disapproves of. The question you need to answer for yourself is, what do you get out of gambling that makes it so important to you that you're willing to be a consistent loser and keep spending large amounts of time on something your wife disapproves of enough for you to lie to her about it? I don't mean that in as negative a way as it sounds - this may seem like a really loaded question, but its one you need to answer for yourself if you want to make a good decision here. Is it the chance to get away from your wife? The chance to be out with the guys? Or meet new people at a poker table, if you're playing with strangers? Is it the juice you feel when you win a big hand?

Im willing to bet (no pun intended) that you'd say all of the above, but the big one is the dopamine rush you get from winning. Thats why you play too many hands even though you know better. Dopamine is literally the best drug on earth, because its made by your brain and it gives you a happy and almost satisfied feeling that other drugs can only simulate. And if thats your drug of choice, cool. There's nothing wrong with recreational drug or alcohol use in and of itself. Things start to go wrong when you lie to yourself and your family about it.

So now the next question is, is this how you want your life to be? Do you want your occasional indulgences in dopamine to cause problems with your marriage? is this costing you more than, say, golf? Or some other hobby you might take up instead? Have you considered what else you'd like to do with the time and money you spend on gambling?

Once you've answered these questions, and can talk about them confidently and honestly with your wife, you can have the conversation with her. But most gamblers don't have good answers to these questions, and the serious conversations don't happen until after the problem gets out of control. You're at a good point in the process to make clear headed decisions. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here that somebody can give you, and while you've mentioned some relationship issues in the past, I don't think there's anybody as important in this process as your wife.

Wow, you really this this right on the money.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

You need to be honest about your gambling. It sounds like you are trying to. Thats a good thing. Tilt is not the same as a gambling problem, but it can definitely lead to serious gambling problems if you go beyond your means and lose money you can't afford. It sounds like you have a ####ty bankroll for playing, and it sounds like you don't take protecting that bankroll seriously enough to be a winning player. That's true of most poker players, myself included. So lets call it what it is. Youre not gambling, youre paying for entertainment, and its an expensive hobby that your wife disapproves of. The question you need to answer for yourself is, what do you get out of gambling that makes it so important to you that you're willing to be a consistent loser and keep spending large amounts of time on something your wife disapproves of enough for you to lie to her about it? I don't mean that in as negative a way as it sounds - this may seem like a really loaded question, but its one you need to answer for yourself if you want to make a good decision here. Is it the chance to get away from your wife? The chance to be out with the guys? Or meet new people at a poker table, if you're playing with strangers? Is it the juice you feel when you win a big hand?

Im willing to bet (no pun intended) that you'd say all of the above, but the big one is the dopamine rush you get from winning. Thats why you play too many hands even though you know better. Dopamine is literally the best drug on earth, because its made by your brain and it gives you a happy and almost satisfied feeling that other drugs can only simulate. And if thats your drug of choice, cool. There's nothing wrong with recreational drug or alcohol use in and of itself. Things start to go wrong when you lie to yourself and your family about it.

So now the next question is, is this how you want your life to be? Do you want your occasional indulgences in dopamine to cause problems with your marriage? is this costing you more than, say, golf? Or some other hobby you might take up instead? Have you considered what else you'd like to do with the time and money you spend on gambling?

Once you've answered these questions, and can talk about them confidently and honestly with your wife, you can have the conversation with her. But most gamblers don't have good answers to these questions, and the serious conversations don't happen until after the problem gets out of control. You're at a good point in the process to make clear headed decisions. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here that somebody can give you, and while you've mentioned some relationship issues in the past, I don't think there's anybody as important in this process as your wife.

Wow, you really this this right on the money.

You out a word there.