GM's thread about nothing (39 Viewers)

[General Malaise]

 

[bostonfred]

Taking a sick day from work just so you can go gamble without your spouse knowing sounds really bad.

One correction (not sure if it makes a difference or not): I actually take annual leave, not sick days. For what it's worth. And mainly because I want to spend time with the kids on the weekends, so playing on weekends is something that I avoid. Doesn't leave me many options, I guess.

Your wife doesn't own your time, and she doesn't own your vacation days. But if you're taking vacation days to play poker, that's worse, imo, then taking weekend days. You're using up time that could have been spent staying home during school vacation week, or going on a trip, or doing the things you want to do. I think its really, really good that you're trying to minimize the impact on your time with your family, but it seems like you're lying to yourself here about the importance of your annual leave so you can lie to your wife.

 

[commisholio]

Kevin Durant has 16 rebounds through 3 quarters? Seattle really could have used that guy on their new NBA team.

I'm just so thankful we have Greg Oden to cheer on at the Rose Garden here in Draft City, USA.

I don't really follow basketball but this is funny because his body has fallen apart like drunken Jenga, right?

Well, I would say that when I first saw him play for Ohio State, I was wondering whose grandfather that was playing Center for the Buckeyes, so it wasn't TOO shocking when his knees crumbled like an elderly woman's spine after decades with osteoporosis. But to put things into perspective...Oden had 773 Points and 602 Rebounds for Portland in 5 seasons with the team.Durant has 11,569 Points and 2926 Rebounds for OKC and counting.But I'm over it. I swear.

Blame tommygunz. That guy could jinx Stu's chances of getting laid in a Arizona state sorority house.

 

[bostonfred]

(Whisper) "rachel maddow".

 

[St. Louis Bob]

That got me too along with "it's literally the biggest...".

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I have a wife and I gamble, so I guess I'll chime in:I would talk to your wife and get to her root issue with gambling. For most wives, I think it comes down to the worry that it's going to end in financial ruin. Did she have a parent or relative with a gambling problem? Does she think it's a waste of time? Does she have a problem with poker specifically, or all gambling?I'd then try to forge a compromise. Look at your yearly budget, figure out a sensible amount to play with every month -- something that would be akin to golfing expenses -- and agree with her that that will be your hard cap for how much you can play with. And stick to that. That might allay some of her concerns.Lastly, I'd buy a couple books on poker. 2+2 always puts out some good stuff. Show her that you're making an effort to improve your game, and maybe even read up on poker bankroll management and take a more conservative stance. That'll show her that you're making an effort to lose less. And, if you get to a point where you're losing less money or even making money long-term, most women will stop worrying so much. Another idea might be to start playing online instead of live. Live cash games are mighty expensive in terms of the rake, gas money, etc. There are still a few networks that are operating, Sportsbook.ag has a linked poker website that I've played on on occasion. Juicystakes.eu (formerly Cake poker) also serves US customers. That would allow you to get your fix, but to play for smaller stakes than you would otherwise be playing for live.

 

[General Malaise]

Can you swing a "poker isn't gambling, it's skill" argument?Doesn't sound like you are dropping Gs on blackjack or craps or the horses

My link

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

"It is literally the biggest #### I've seen."Damn, Bob beat me to it.

 

[T Bell]

So a question for the powers that be:

First, some facts to set things up:

1. I ####ing love to gamble. Love it. And in particular, I love to play poker. Mostly 1-2NL. I'm probably down over my lifetime. In particular, the last couple of years I have lost more than I won (my patience with starting hands needs work). But I think if I play my best, I probably could be a net positive player at the 1-2 level.

2. My wife hates the very idea of gambling. She's not a religious fanatic by any means, but her disdain for all things gambling borders on spiritual. She once told me she has a moral problem with gambling.

3. I will fully admit I have a borderling gambling problem, in that I could sit down and play for 15 hours straight (not to disimilar from my ability to play video games for hours on end. It is a nice escape). I also have had "poker benders" where I have lost a couple hundred and go on tilt and re-buy when I should just walk away. I've had a couple of times where I have come home after loosing a grand or so and felt pretty ####ty about myself.

4. But I still love to play. When the above happens, I take a few months off, lick my wounds, save up money, and try again.

5. Last september or so, I had a work trip to Albuquerque where I spend a week there, and played at the poker room, and probably lost about $2k over the course of the week. I felt bad about it and told my wife when I got home, and told her I'd take a break from playing poker. I did. I also cut down on expenses and decided not to go on a couple of year-end trips to make up for the money I dropped.

6. Other than the above, playing poker hasn't really affected my life negatively, and as a household, we have NEVER wanted. For example:

7. Bills are always paid on time every month, which includes maxing out my retirement, my wife's Roth IRA, $500 or so on the kids' 529, and a little left over for savings. So even if I drop 2k a year (say) on poker, all those other things are getting paid.

8. Because my wife is a royal btch about it when I play, I will usually lie to her about going. I generally save money here and there during the year, and then go play. And then I play on my winnings (until september, I'd been playing on the same $1k or so slush fund for the last 5 years or so). I either play on a work-trip, or I take a sick day and go play at the casino about an hour away.

9. I want to go play a little poker. I've saved up about $500 bucks from here and there without wife knowing.

10. The majority of all household expenses are paid by my salary.

11. I'm undecided if I have a gambling problem, or if I am ok with gambling generally, but I have days where I have impulse control.

12. Wife is ADAMANT that she doesn't want me playing poker, but has admitted that she can't really do anything to stop me (aside from being a btch to me when I do, which is remarkably effective).

So, questions, I guess:

Does anyone have any thoughts on the matter? I am torn here, because although it is technically "household" money, she's been living a VERY nice life for the last 12 years thanks to my ability to bring it in, and I'm a little bitter.

Does bostonfred read GMTAN? rabidfireweasel? Anyone else have thoughts? I'm kind of at a loss about moving forward.

I think you need to meet in the middle. This is a hobby, and it's not a bad or evil hobby but like all hobbies it's got to have limits on time and money spent. You seem to do some of that, but you yourself admit that there are times it feels at least a little out of control. It's the old story - if you have to ask if it's a problem, then yes, it's a problem, at least a little bit.

Scaling back is also throwing your wife a bone. As the saying goes, "Happy wife, happy life."

On the other hand, it's entirely fair for you to say that while you certainly don't want it to be a problem, you disagree on her moralizing about it categorically and it's just a hobby, and one that you're not going to quit.

If it was me, I'd sit down with her, have the above discussion and then come to a concrete agreement about how much you will budget to spend gambling, and how often you'll do it. It doesn't have to be set in stone, especially the number of times (e.g. a group of buddies has an non-routine trip to Vegas that you go on) but there needs to be a commitment. You also need to stick to it and be honest with her about when you're gambling and how much you're spending.

EDIT- already nicely covered by bostonfred and GPJ.

 

[General Malaise]

Kevin Durant has 16 rebounds through 3 quarters? Seattle really could have used that guy on their new NBA team.

I'm just so thankful we have Greg Oden to cheer on at the Rose Garden here in Draft City, USA.

I don't really follow basketball but this is funny because his body has fallen apart like drunken Jenga, right?

Well, I would say that when I first saw him play for Ohio State, I was wondering whose grandfather that was playing Center for the Buckeyes, so it wasn't TOO shocking when his knees crumbled like an elderly woman's spine after decades with osteoporosis. But to put things into perspective...Oden had 773 Points and 602 Rebounds for Portland in 5 seasons with the team.Durant has 11,569 Points and 2926 Rebounds for OKC and counting.But I'm over it. I swear.

Blame tommygunz. That guy could jinx Stu's chances of getting laid in a Arizona state sorority house.

Well done.

 

[General Malaise]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

SweetJ, my advice is to become a winning player. It shouldn't be that hard to do. Then a lot of the negatives your wife may associate with gambling won't really apply here.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

GB separate accounts.

 

[bostonfred]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

I see what happened here.

 

[T Bell]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

 

[Guster]

Ugh, I'm fighting a painful sinus infection here. I get them at least once every winter. Last winter I went to my doctor begging for antibiotics but he refused to write a script, saying it's better for my body to just fight them off naturally, as while antibiotics will speed up the healing process, they're also creating stronger, more resistant viruses.

"Better?" I wanted to say. "Better for who? Me? No. Humanity, ok. The future, ok. But not me. #### the world, you self-righteous *******; give me my drugs!@#"

But I just said, "ok" and suffered an extra couple weeks.

< -- biological martyr. <_<

I used to get sinus infections 3+ times/year, but started using a Neti Pot (ok, the squeeze bottle type) last fall and have made it through sinus infection free thus far

 

[Abraham]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Can you swing a "poker isn't gambling, it's skill" argument?Doesn't sound like you are dropping Gs on blackjack or craps or the horses

My link

Ponies can be beaten long-term, just like poker or sports. I don't know how to do it, but it can be done.Jaw-dropping article I posted in the FFAWT today (it's from 2003).

 

[Guster]

You guys all working today or what?

I keep meaning to ask you, what really happens on teacher workshop days?They are always very cryptic about it and make sure to remind us 3 times a day for the entire week before

 

[T Bell]

Ugh, I'm fighting a painful sinus infection here. I get them at least once every winter. Last winter I went to my doctor begging for antibiotics but he refused to write a script, saying it's better for my body to just fight them off naturally, as while antibiotics will speed up the healing process, they're also creating stronger, more resistant viruses.

"Better?" I wanted to say. "Better for who? Me? No. Humanity, ok. The future, ok. But not me. #### the world, you self-righteous *******; give me my drugs!@#"

But I just said, "ok" and suffered an extra couple weeks.

< -- biological martyr. <_<

I used to get sinus infections 3+ times/year, but started using a Neti Pot (ok, the squeeze bottle type) last fall and have made it through sinus infection free thus far

I guess everyone's different, but haven't Neti Pots also been found to house bacteria and cause infections in some people?Also, the Net Pot robot woman gif.

 

[Guster]

YSR post from sometime in 2016?

Would smash.

 

[T Bell]

YSR post from sometime in 2016?

Would smash.

(I'm referring to the older of the two, Homer.)

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

 

[General Malaise]

I'd just continue lying and doing what you want. Signed,Divorced Guy

 

[T Bell]

I just rode the train home and some dude with a giant basket gets on with his bike. Plastered on each side of the basket are his messages about the evils of circumcision, complete with a graphic pic.

Link

 

[General Malaise]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

I'm about to bike home. Should I ditch the gay little safety hat and blinking lights?

 

[bostonfred]

I don't think I would look inside that basket if I were you

 

[commisholio]

Kevin Durant has 16 rebounds through 3 quarters? Seattle really could have used that guy on their new NBA team.

I'm just so thankful we have Greg Oden to cheer on at the Rose Garden here in Draft City, USA.

I don't really follow basketball but this is funny because his body has fallen apart like drunken Jenga, right?

Well, I would say that when I first saw him play for Ohio State, I was wondering whose grandfather that was playing Center for the Buckeyes, so it wasn't TOO shocking when his knees crumbled like an elderly woman's spine after decades with osteoporosis. But to put things into perspective...Oden had 773 Points and 602 Rebounds for Portland in 5 seasons with the team.Durant has 11,569 Points and 2926 Rebounds for OKC and counting.But I'm over it. I swear.

Blame tommygunz. That guy could jinx Stu's chances of getting laid in a Arizona state sorority house.

Well done.

Took a while, but I found it.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I just rode the train home and some dude with a giant basket gets on with his bike. Plastered on each side of the basket are his messages about the evils of circumcision, complete with a graphic pic. Link

Some people get in a real huff about having part of their weiner cut off.

 

[T Bell]

I don't think I would look inside that basket if I were you

If you're curious, I did in fact put the ####### lotion in the basket.

 

[T Bell]

I just rode the train home and some dude with a giant basket gets on with his bike. Plastered on each side of the basket are his messages about the evils of circumcision, complete with a graphic pic. Link

Some people get in a real huff about having part of their weiner cut off.

I don't miss my foreskin. The only reason I'd want it back is to maybe be able to wear it as an eye patch, or at Thanksgiving as one of those things that hangs down from a turkey's chin.

 

[Tecumseh]

I have to go to Denver for company meetings, and part of the itinerary is bowling tomorrow night. As an added bonus, for some reason they want us to wear our favorite jersey. I thought about wearing my Browns jersey, but I'm afraid someone would steal my ball and shoes, and bowl a 300. Think I'll stick to the Buckeyes.

Tell me they were cool enough to go to an institution like Elitch Lanes and not the Lucky Strike downtown.

We have an evening gathering that will be at the Lucky Strike Bowling Alley which is an upscale place where we will have dinner, bowl a few games and mingle. You will not see any tank tops, mullets or “wife beaters” at this place. We would like you to wear a jersey, shirt, or sweatshirt representing your favorite team to display your team spirit.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Which one of you is taking over at WWTDD?

Splash, one of ten or fifteen new celebrity diving shows appearing on network television shortly because some ####### in a focus group said it sounded like something they’s want to watch. I’m looking at you liquid detergent buying middle-aged housewife from Bakersfield, CA where such matters are put to science.

 

[T Bell]

Which one of you is taking over at WWTDD?

Splash, one of ten or fifteen new celebrity diving shows appearing on network television shortly because some ####### in a focus group said it sounded like something they’s want to watch. I’m looking at you liquid detergent buying middle-aged housewife from Bakersfield, CA where such matters are put to science.

Is the answer to this not evident?

 

[Guster]

she's been living a VERY nice life for the last 12 years thanks to my ability to bring it in, and I'm a little bitter.

Welcome to my world. :manhug:Yes, BF & RFW both check in here.

Taking a sick day from work just so you can go gamble without your spouse knowing sounds really bad.

My link

 

[Limp Ditka]

Which one of you is taking over at WWTDD?

Splash, one of ten or fifteen new celebrity diving shows appearing on network television shortly because some ####### in a focus group said it sounded like something they’s want to watch. I’m looking at you liquid detergent buying middle-aged housewife from Bakersfield, CA where such matters are put to science.

Is the answer to this not evident?

Tanner can form a sentence. Whoever posted that (the above is just a snippet) is one illiterate mfer.

 

[Ignoramus]

I just rode the train home and some dude with a giant basket gets on with his bike. Plastered on each side of the basket are his messages about the evils of circumcision, complete with a graphic pic. Link

Yeah, I'm not clicking that link.

 

[flysack]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

### #### it.

 

[T Bell]

I just rode the train home and some dude with a giant basket gets on with his bike. Plastered on each side of the basket are his messages about the evils of circumcision, complete with a graphic pic. Link

Yeah, I'm not clicking that link.

There's an "afraid-of-a-little-####?" joke in there somewhere...It's just a pic, SFW and all that.

 

[Tiger Fan]

My $.02 on marriage and gambling. To me, it's all about transparency...everyone sets up their finances differently...some do separate accounts, some do joint accounts, etc. As long as whatever is decided on and agreed to, and nobody is intentionally lying or hiding money then everything should be working smoothly. We have joint accounts for everything and each of us gets a certain amount of money per month for us to spend on whatever we want. If she wants to go on a shopping spree...more power to her, as long as she sticks within the budget. If she thinks she's going to overspend, she lets me know that it will dip into the next month. I do the same thing. We both don't take advantage of the other, so there are no issues.To me, it sounds like your wife doesn't like gambling at all; and it's not about the amount of money....so like others have said, tell her it's a hobby for you. Some people golf, hunt, fish, etc...you like to gamble. And as long as your doing it with a certain agreed to allottment of $, it should be ok.IMO, you're going down a slippery slope of lying and hiding to gamble...this only makes it worse when she finds out. And she will

 

[rabidfireweasel]

So a question for the powers that be:

First, some facts to set things up:

1. I ####ing love to gamble. Love it. And in particular, I love to play poker. Mostly 1-2NL. I'm probably down over my lifetime. In particular, the last couple of years I have lost more than I won (my patience with starting hands needs work). But I think if I play my best, I probably could be a net positive player at the 1-2 level.

2. My wife hates the very idea of gambling. She's not a religious fanatic by any means, but her disdain for all things gambling borders on spiritual. She once told me she has a moral problem with gambling.

3. I will fully admit I have a borderling gambling problem, in that I could sit down and play for 15 hours straight (not to disimilar from my ability to play video games for hours on end. It is a nice escape). I also have had "poker benders" where I have lost a couple hundred and go on tilt and re-buy when I should just walk away. I've had a couple of times where I have come home after loosing a grand or so and felt pretty ####ty about myself.

4. But I still love to play. When the above happens, I take a few months off, lick my wounds, save up money, and try again.

5. Last september or so, I had a work trip to Albuquerque where I spend a week there, and played at the poker room, and probably lost about $2k over the course of the week. I felt bad about it and told my wife when I got home, and told her I'd take a break from playing poker. I did. I also cut down on expenses and decided not to go on a couple of year-end trips to make up for the money I dropped.

6. Other than the above, playing poker hasn't really affected my life negatively, and as a household, we have NEVER wanted. For example:

7. Bills are always paid on time every month, which includes maxing out my retirement, my wife's Roth IRA, $500 or so on the kids' 529, and a little left over for savings. So even if I drop 2k a year (say) on poker, all those other things are getting paid.

8. Because my wife is a royal btch about it when I play, I will usually lie to her about going. I generally save money here and there during the year, and then go play. And then I play on my winnings (until september, I'd been playing on the same $1k or so slush fund for the last 5 years or so). I either play on a work-trip, or I take a sick day and go play at the casino about an hour away.

9. I want to go play a little poker. I've saved up about $500 bucks from here and there without wife knowing.

10. The majority of all household expenses are paid by my salary.

11. I'm undecided if I have a gambling problem, or if I am ok with gambling generally, but I have days where I have impulse control.

12. Wife is ADAMANT that she doesn't want me playing poker, but has admitted that she can't really do anything to stop me (aside from being a btch to me when I do, which is remarkably effective).

So, questions, I guess:

Does anyone have any thoughts on the matter? I am torn here, because although it is technically "household" money, she's been living a VERY nice life for the last 12 years thanks to my ability to bring it in, and I'm a little bitter.

Does bostonfred read GMTAN? rabidfireweasel? Anyone else have thoughts? I'm kind of at a loss about moving forward.

New Poker related graphic novel artwork that sweetJ and cos might likefred, GPJ and TBell have covered this in an incredibly solid and thorough way. I will add a bit and try to be moderately amusing.

I am going to go shuke style and do this is several small posts instead of one awesome well-written expertly thought out one like bfred's

 

[Frostillicus]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

 

[rabidfireweasel]

You need to be honest about your gambling. It sounds like you are trying to. Thats a good thing. Tilt is not the same as a gambling problem, but it can definitely lead to serious gambling problems if you go beyond your means and lose money you can't afford. It sounds like you have a ####ty bankroll for playing, and it sounds like you don't take protecting that bankroll seriously enough to be a winning player. That's true of most poker players, myself included. So lets call it what it is. Youre not gambling, youre paying for entertainment, and its an expensive hobby that your wife disapproves of. The question you need to answer for yourself is, what do you get out of gambling that makes it so important to you that you're willing to be a consistent loser and keep spending large amounts of time on something your wife disapproves of enough for you to lie to her about it? I don't mean that in as negative a way as it sounds - this may seem like a really loaded question, but its one you need to answer for yourself if you want to make a good decision here. Is it the chance to get away from your wife? The chance to be out with the guys? Or meet new people at a poker table, if you're playing with strangers? Is it the juice you feel when you win a big hand? Im willing to bet (no pun intended) that you'd say all of the above, but the big one is the dopamine rush you get from winning. Thats why you play too many hands even though you know better. Dopamine is literally the best drug on earth, because its made by your brain and it gives you a happy and almost satisfied feeling that other drugs can only simulate. And if thats your drug of choice, cool. There's nothing wrong with recreational drug or alcohol use in and of itself. Things start to go wrong when you lie to yourself and your family about it.So now the next question is, is this how you want your life to be? Do you want your occasional indulgences in dopamine to cause problems with your marriage? is this costing you more than, say, golf? Or some other hobby you might take up instead? Have you considered what else you'd like to do with the time and money you spend on gambling? Once you've answered these questions, and can talk about them confidently and honestly with your wife, you can have the conversation with her. But most gamblers don't have good answers to these questions, and the serious conversations don't happen until after the problem gets out of control. You're at a good point in the process to make clear headed decisions. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here that somebody can give you, and while you've mentioned some relationship issues in the past, I don't think there's anybody as important in this process as your wife.

this post is awesome-first- you have to be incredibly honest and thoughtful about yourself and your relationship to losing poker. You have to really know yourself before you can talk to your wife. If you can be honest, thoughtful and can admit your own short-comings, then you are much more likely to have a real conversation that she wants to participate. I also want to applaud your honesty and self reflection.

 

[mr. furley]

When I saw the video of the injured fans in the stands at Daytona, I imagined some of them yelling "Is there a doctor here?"With the answer being: No, of course not.

:golfclap:

 

[charvik]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

 

[mr. furley]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

### #### it.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

Throw out half of her beauty supplies in retaliation.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

You guys all working today or what?

I keep meaning to ask you, what really happens on teacher workshop days?They are always very cryptic about it and make sure to remind us 3 times a day for the entire week before

Depends on the school/district but usually it can involve one or two or all of the following 3 things:1. Semi-valuable training of some sort. Typically involving technology. Something like new software for keeping track of benchmark tests or grades or the ilk. It may not seem like that would require an entire school-day but when you combined poorly designed technology with a bunch of techno-deficient teachers it's a recipe for hours of frustration.2. Some new curricular-based program that the school wants to implement. Like "The 8 1/2 Step Writing Process" or "Teaching Math with a Bunch of Twist-Ties and Skittles". Basically something that will go out of style in about 6 years and/or until some other PhD comes up with something else to peddle. 3. Some guest speaker that presents a bunch of different ideas to help improve instruction or classroom management. Maybe they're just there to inspire the teachers. Using my own experience roughly 68.7% of these speakers are terrible. The other 36.5% run somewhere between 'tolerable' and 'pretty interesting'.

 

[rabidfireweasel]

SweetJ I am just going to be really honest, with no intentions of hurting your feeling or being a jerk. SOmetimes, I might be describing you almost perfectly, other times, I will be way off base.

So, apologies in advance:

If you aren’t beating the game, you are being outplayed. There is a reason why you lose, even if you can’t figure it out.

Albert Morehead

First, some facts to set things up:

1. I ####ing love to gamble. Love it. And in particular, I love to play poker. Mostly 1-2NL. I'm probably down over my lifetime. In particular, the last couple of years I have lost more than I won (my patience with starting hands needs work). But I think if I play my best, I probably could be a net positive player at the 1-2 level.

Most reasonably intelligent people can play poker well enough to win when things are going well and they are playing their best. When I was a poker player, I made a living trying to make people play less than their best, and want to stay at the table. The reality is, most people rarely play their best game or have things go well. What makes a player dangerous is how well they play when they are playing well. What makes a winning player is how they play when they are at their worst or things are going poorly.

he question you need to answer for yourself is, what do you get out of gambling that makes it so important to you that you're willing to be a consistent loser and keep spending large amounts of time on something your wife disapproves of enough for you to lie to her about it? I don't mean that in as negative a way as it sounds - this may seem like a really loaded question, but its one you need to answer for yourself if you want to make a good decision here. Is it the chance to get away from your wife? The chance to be out with the guys? Or meet new people at a poker table, if you're playing with strangers? Is it the juice you feel when you win a big hand?

Im willing to bet (no pun intended) that you'd say all of the above, but the big one is the dopamine rush you get from winning. Thats why you play too many hands even though you know better.

This is the key. I have been working on a graphic novel lately, and there is a big chunk about poker. I have written the following:I have been an emotional predator in poker rooms- seeking broken men who are not playing poker but gambling- trying to silence their own demons for a few hours of shoving chips at the table. Some guys talk about going to Vegas to play in the WSOP or in 50/100 no limit games to test themselves against the best- so they can see where they stood. That was never me. I looked for a tables of guys I could beat, and I would keep playing them until they quit or I couldn't beat them any more. If either event happened, I would simply try to find new guys to beat. But that isn't really what made me a scum bag. What makes me a bottom feeder, and a good poker player, is that I am really good at figuring out why people are at the table: to make money, to feed ego, to be punished (yes, many go to lose, although they don't know it), to escape etc. Then, if you are a l

osing player, I will manipulate you so that you will come back and lose again.

If you are there to prove your manhood, I will try beat you like a drum and talk #### to you, so that you will be eager to come back. You will get such a rush out of those hands where you beat me for $500 dollars that you will be happy to lose ten to fifteen $100 pots to me in order to get that $500 fix.

If you are a poor player there for verbal affirmation/emotional punishment (yes it seems like a strange combo, but it is very common), I will tell you that you are making great plays and have great instincts about when to go against the grain. I will never be rude to you. Every time you put a bad beat on me, I will say, "Man, you have my number. I just can't beat you." When you lose all your money playing stupid, I say "You played great. You just had bad luck."

Many an affirmation/punishment player is there specifically for that moment- when they lose all their money seemingly because of bad luck. These are unhappy with life. They feel like they they have played life correctly and just have gotten bad cards. They usually date/marry nasty dominating women, are smart, well read and often suffer from white guilt. They go to the poker room to reaffirm their miserable existence, where the metaphors for their bad luck plays out at the table most nights. I am always there to tell them that they did all they could, but simply have bad luck. I understand them. I am their minister and there therapist. They will come back to me for $90 per hour.

There are literal young guys wanting to learn the game. You take them under your wing and tell them books to read. This helps them against other players, but not against you, because you know what they have read, and likely, what they will do in most situations. They often will take it a little easier on you, will show you their hands (for affirmation) and will help you in a pinch. This makes you look like less like a ####,

and more like a good guys. These guys are happy to lose to you because they are "paying for lessons".

This is the part of poker I am best at. I figure out why you are there and what will make you come back. If you are a bad player, I try to give you that. If you are a good player, I do what I can not only to deny you that, but to rally the table into denying you that- so that you would not return, so that you would seek out a similarly profitable but more enjoyable game.

So, try really really hard to figure out what you are getting out of it, and why it is worth the hassle, the subtle dishonesty and perhaps, some poor choices you make at the table.