GM's thread about nothing (36 Viewers)

[Officer Pete Malloy]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

She's lucky she's hot.

 

[Guster]

You guys all working today or what?

I keep meaning to ask you, what really happens on teacher workshop days?They are always very cryptic about it and make sure to remind us 3 times a day for the entire week before

Depends on the school/district but usually it can involve one or two or all of the following 3 things:1. Semi-valuable training of some sort. Typically involving technology. Something like new software for keeping track of benchmark tests or grades or the ilk. It may not seem like that would require an entire school-day but when you combined poorly designed technology with a bunch of techno-deficient teachers it's a recipe for hours of frustration.2. Some new curricular-based program that the school wants to implement. Like "The 8 1/2 Step Writing Process" or "Teaching Math with a Bunch of Twist-Ties and Skittles". Basically something that will go out of style in about 6 years and/or until some other PhD comes up with something else to peddle. 3. Some guest speaker that presents a bunch of different ideas to help improve instruction or classroom management. Maybe they're just there to inspire the teachers. Using my own experience roughly 68.7% of these speakers are terrible. The other 36.5% run somewhere between 'tolerable' and 'pretty interesting'.

And the hookers and blow? When do they show up?

 

[Guster]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

She's lucky she's hot.

Just waiting til she throws Frosty out :zooks:

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

I've been laughing at this for hours.

 

[flysack]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

First sign of the apocalypse. Second sign is when she joins a bunch of people who wear glow-in-the-dark beanies and muumuus, who believe in the coming apocalypse.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

She's lucky she's hot.

Just waiting til she throws Frosty out :zooks:

Most poisonous thing in the house, imo.

 

[flysack]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

I've been laughing at this for hours.

This one needs bookmarking in the first post. "Bfred advises GM on how to score some dopamine."

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

WTMF

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

I've been laughing at this for hours.

This one needs bookmarking in the first post. "Bfred advises GM on how to score some dopamine."

 

[mr. furley]

You guys all working today or what?

I keep meaning to ask you, what really happens on teacher workshop days?They are always very cryptic about it and make sure to remind us 3 times a day for the entire week before

Depends on the school/district but usually it can involve one or two or all of the following 3 things:1. Semi-valuable training of some sort. Typically involving technology. Something like new software for keeping track of benchmark tests or grades or the ilk. It may not seem like that would require an entire school-day but when you combined poorly designed technology with a bunch of techno-deficient teachers it's a recipe for hours of frustration.2. Some new curricular-based program that the school wants to implement. Like "The 8 1/2 Step Writing Process" or "Teaching Math with a Bunch of Twist-Ties and Skittles". Basically something that will go out of style in about 6 years and/or until some other PhD comes up with something else to peddle. 3. Some guest speaker that presents a bunch of different ideas to help improve instruction or classroom management. Maybe they're just there to inspire the teachers. Using my own experience roughly 68.7% of these speakers are terrible. The other 36.5% run somewhere between 'tolerable' and 'pretty interesting'.

this is all bull####, right?

 

[flysack]

You guys all working today or what?

I keep meaning to ask you, what really happens on teacher workshop days?They are always very cryptic about it and make sure to remind us 3 times a day for the entire week before

Depends on the school/district but usually it can involve one or two or all of the following 3 things:1. Semi-valuable training of some sort. Typically involving technology. Something like new software for keeping track of benchmark tests or grades or the ilk. It may not seem like that would require an entire school-day but when you combined poorly designed technology with a bunch of techno-deficient teachers it's a recipe for hours of frustration.2. Some new curricular-based program that the school wants to implement. Like "The 8 1/2 Step Writing Process" or "Teaching Math with a Bunch of Twist-Ties and Skittles". Basically something that will go out of style in about 6 years and/or until some other PhD comes up with something else to peddle. 3. Some guest speaker that presents a bunch of different ideas to help improve instruction or classroom management. Maybe they're just there to inspire the teachers. Using my own experience roughly 68.7% of these speakers are terrible. The other 36.5% run somewhere between 'tolerable' and 'pretty interesting'.

Or as my wife says on her way to one: "a big ####ing waste of time."

 

[rabidfireweasel]

Where can I get some of this dopamine?

Lots of ways. You could take up gambling. Especially on trivial things. Maybe try a risky or possibly unwise relationship decision. Find an internet forum where you can get lols and lmaos. Take a job where you rely on seemingly random outcomes for your income, or even better, one where you get positive feedback from customers and management. Engage in risky behavior, like sending porn from your work email to a network of countless strangers and business associates. Smoke some pot. I could go on, but surely you could try one of these.

I've been laughing at this for hours.

This one needs bookmarking in the first post. "Bfred advises GM on how to score some dopamine."

this is where fred won the thread.:confetti:

 

[cosjobs]

Has anyone listened to music wearing headphones, forgotten where they are, and cut a loud fart? I just did in the campus library.

Forgotten? I do this on purpose and pretend to be oblivious.

Do you stick your nose in the air and sniff, then slowly show a self-satisfied smile?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

You guys all working today or what?

I keep meaning to ask you, what really happens on teacher workshop days?They are always very cryptic about it and make sure to remind us 3 times a day for the entire week before

Depends on the school/district but usually it can involve one or two or all of the following 3 things:1. Semi-valuable training of some sort. Typically involving technology. Something like new software for keeping track of benchmark tests or grades or the ilk. It may not seem like that would require an entire school-day but when you combined poorly designed technology with a bunch of techno-deficient teachers it's a recipe for hours of frustration.2. Some new curricular-based program that the school wants to implement. Like "The 8 1/2 Step Writing Process" or "Teaching Math with a Bunch of Twist-Ties and Skittles". Basically something that will go out of style in about 6 years and/or until some other PhD comes up with something else to peddle. 3. Some guest speaker that presents a bunch of different ideas to help improve instruction or classroom management. Maybe they're just there to inspire the teachers. Using my own experience roughly 68.7% of these speakers are terrible. The other 36.5% run somewhere between 'tolerable' and 'pretty interesting'.

Or as my wife says on her way to one: "a big ####ing waste of time."

Pretty much. Of course if the school spends X-amount of $$$ on some new technology they better make sure it is being used and being used correctly.

this is all bull####, right?

Yes/no.

 

[Frostillicus]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

She's lucky she's hot.

Yes, she is.

 

[T Bell]

3. Using my own experience roughly 68.7% of these speakers are terrible. The other 36.5% run somewhere between 'tolerable' and 'pretty interesting'.

I'm no sociology major, but....

 

[rabidfireweasel]

I have a wife and I gamble, so I guess I'll chime in:

I would talk to your wife and get to her root issue with gambling. For most wives, I think it comes down to the worry that it's going to end in financial ruin. Did she have a parent or relative with a gambling problem? Does she think it's a waste of time? Does she have a problem with poker specifically, or all gambling?

I'd then try to forge a compromise. Look at your yearly budget, figure out a sensible amount to play with every month -- something that would be akin to golfing expenses -- and agree with her that that will be your hard cap for how much you can play with. And stick to that. That might allay some of her concerns.

Lastly, I'd buy a couple books on poker. 2+2 always puts out some good stuff. Show her that you're making an effort to improve your game, and maybe even read up on poker bankroll management and take a more conservative stance. That'll show her that you're making an effort to lose less. And, if you get to a point where you're losing less money or even making money long-term, most women will stop worrying so much.

Another idea might be to start playing online instead of live. Live cash games are mighty expensive in terms of the rake, gas money, etc. There are still a few networks that are operating, Sportsbook.ag has a linked poker website that I've played on on occasion. Juicystakes.eu (formerly Cake poker) also serves US customers. That would allow you to get your fix, but to play for smaller stakes than you would otherwise be playing for live.

All of this is great. After you figure your own issues, and what you get out of it, really talk with her about why she hates it. Don't argue. When she answers, ask more questions to further unpack those answers. Then, tell her about why you like it. What it offers you. Then, work on finding some middle ground.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

She's lucky she's hot.

Yes, she is.

You should tell her that.Or you should tell her "You're hot but you're not going to get any hotter so if you plan on getting crazier you better watch your step."

 

[T Bell]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

She's lucky she's hot.

Just waiting til she throws Frosty out :zooks:

Estimated Amazon delivery of Rectal Gluten Tester: March 1, 2013. Status: Shipped

 

[T Bell]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

First sign of the apocalypse. Second sign is when she joins a bunch of people who wear glow-in-the-dark beanies and muumuus, who believe in the coming apocalypse.

Yeah?

 

[rabidfireweasel]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

She's lucky she's hot.

Yes, she is.

You should tell her that.Or you should tell her "You're hot but you're not going to get any hotter so if you plan on getting crazier you better watch your step."

Awesome. She would definitely understand.I think this should be standard fare before marriage to any hot wife:"Look, we both know you're hot, but even still, you are operating on outer thresh hold in the hotness/crazy ratio. So, unless you get hotter, don't get any crazier."Then you give her a pre-nup that involves the wit, wisdom and mathematical stylings of our very own MoP.ANy lady would be straight up ready to elope at that point.

 

[T Bell]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

She's lucky she's hot.

Yes, she is.

You should tell her that.Or you should tell her "You're hot but you're not going to get any hotter so if you plan on getting crazier you better watch your step."

Awesome. She would definitely understand.I think this should be standard fare before marriage to any hot wife:"Look, we both know you're hot, but even still, you are operating on outer thresh hold in the hotness/crazy ratio. So, unless you get hotter, don't get any crazier."Then you give her a pre-nup that involves the wit, wisdom and mathematical stylings of our very own MoP.ANy lady would be straight up ready to elope at that point.

I've found that graphics are good additions to presentations.

 

[flysack]

Has anyone listened to music wearing headphones, forgotten where they are, and cut a loud fart? I just did in the campus library.

Forgotten? I do this on purpose and pretend to be oblivious.

Do you stick your nose in the air and sniff, then slowly show a self-satisfied smile?

No. I ostentatiously sniff, look disgusted, then stare down the hottest female present.

 

[T Bell]

Has anyone listened to music wearing headphones, forgotten where they are, and cut a loud fart? I just did in the campus library.

Forgotten? I do this on purpose and pretend to be oblivious.

Do you stick your nose in the air and sniff, then slowly show a self-satisfied smile?

No. I ostentatiously sniff, look disgusted, then stare down the hottest female present.

and then... :raisedeyebrow:

 

[flysack]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

First sign of the apocalypse. Second sign is when she joins a bunch of people who wear glow-in-the-dark beanies and muumuus, who believe in the coming apocalypse.

Yeah?

With your dating history, you've probably already been initiated with the muumuu, the beanie, and the kelp-tasting toothpaste.

 

[flysack]

Has anyone listened to music wearing headphones, forgotten where they are, and cut a loud fart? I just did in the campus library.

Forgotten? I do this on purpose and pretend to be oblivious.

Do you stick your nose in the air and sniff, then slowly show a self-satisfied smile?

No. I ostentatiously sniff, look disgusted, then stare down the hottest female present.

and then... :raisedeyebrow:

I'm married. This is how we get our kicks.

 

[T Bell]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

First sign of the apocalypse. Second sign is when she joins a bunch of people who wear glow-in-the-dark beanies and muumuus, who believe in the coming apocalypse.

Yeah?

With your dating history, you've probably already been initiated with the muumuu, the beanie, and the kelp-tasting toothpaste.

All I know is that I'm top of the list whenever the alien abductions start. If there's a preying mantis alien, I'll be both the first to find a gushing predator, and then the first to be decapitated.

 

[flysack]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

She's lucky she's hot.

Just waiting til she throws Frosty out :zooks:

Estimated Amazon delivery of Rectal Gluten Tester: March 1, 2013. Status: Shipped

 

[shuke]

homemade toothpaste

Album name.

 

[-fish-]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

 

[T Bell]

homemade toothpaste

Album name.

Don't try to get in technical compliance with Pickles' standards.

 

[rabidfireweasel]

Krista,

I can't advise you strongly enough to get out of that job. It has been making you miserable - just go back and look at your pre-Coshole meltdown posting to remind you how miserable, just in case you've started telling yourself that maybe it isn't that bad.

Then think about the fact that they are lying to you about how things are going to change. They might not mean to lie; maybe they actually believe themselves when they tell you things will be different. Things won't be different. And after they've bent over to change things for you, they're not going to listen to any future complaints you have. Instead, you're just going to be the continual malcontent who threatened to quit once, gained all these concessions (allegedly), and still continues to complain.

Finally, you are clearly extremely marketable. Pretend you didn't currently hold this job and were evaluating it - knowing all that you know about how awful it is - in comparison to other jobs now on the table. Would you take it?

Life is too short and too hard as it is, without forcing yourself to keep a job that affirmatively makes you miserable.

You definitely shouldn't stay at a place of work that makes you miserable, just because it offers more money and is in Memphis. part of the problem is that you have gotten into the habit of using consumer therapy and buying things to make yourself feel better about your horrible work situation. You will be fine and make a bunch o cash anyway.If you are silly enough to stay, you should probably buy a bunch of my art to hand around your house. I have this 6'x8' painting of a bunch of penismen trying to stretch themselves out to meet the entry requirement for access to Ron Jeremy's bar that look great behind your sofa.

We're going to need a link.

link providedNot high quality images, but the best I can take with my ipad out of my basement.

 

[flysack]

So I found the beer forum today. In unrelated news, I'm posting half-drunk.

 

[flysack]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

Dude, it's way beyond that. Read Frosty's posts over the past few days. She's making toothpaste.

 

[shuke]

He said that they watch a lot of British shows on PBS that just weren't loud enough and he hoped the surround sound could help them out

 

[shuke]

Oh, and my buddy is OK. We hung out again tonight and all is (reasonably) well.Seriously though, our other buddy was cras=ing on suicideguy's couch Friday night and happened to wake up in time to catch him friggin hanging himself. Imagine waking up in a drunken stupor to your friend pulling a Brooks ten feet away from you.Crazy ####.

Jesus. Glad he's okay.

 

[Frostillicus]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

No. Something about GMO which I think means genetically modified organism.

 

[-fish-]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

No. Something about GMO which I think means genetically modified organism.

Oh, well Monsanto is the devil. Good luck. Your grocery bill is going to double buying only organic.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

homemade toothpaste

Album name.

Toothpaste name.

 

[proninja]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

No. Something about GMO which I think means genetically modified organism.

Oh, well Monsanto is the devil. Good luck. Your grocery bill is going to double buying only organic.

Agree on both parts.Edit: buying meat directly from the butcher and getting a garage freezer and Costco can defray this cost increase a lot

 

[cosjobs]

He said that they watch a lot of British shows on PBS that just weren't loud enough and he hoped the surround sound could help them out

you still in austin?

 

[cosjobs]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

No. Something about GMO which I think means genetically modified organism.

Its actually Gspot Manipulated OrgasmYou need to spend a little more time on the back wall of the pantry

 

[shuke]

He said that they watch a lot of British shows on PBS that just weren't loud enough and he hoped the surround sound could help them out

you still in austin?

Sorry dude, I left this morning. We had a group of about 10 others from out of town plus I didn't have any free time from work. I'll be back in a month.

 

[Aerial Assault]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

No. Something about GMO which I think means genetically modified organism.

Yes. We tried to mandate that they be labeled here in CA this past November, but the measure failed for some reason. Evidently Mrs. Frosty needs no labels.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

No. Something about GMO which I think means genetically modified organism.

Yes. We tried to mandate that they be labeled here in CA this past November, but the measure failed for some reason. Evidently Mrs. Frosty needs no labels.

I'd think at this point that everyone knows to just vote the opposite side of whatever Monsanto's supporting, but I guess not.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

No. Something about GMO which I think means genetically modified organism.

Yes. We tried to mandate that they be labeled here in CA this past November, but the measure failed for some reason. Evidently Mrs. Frosty needs no labels.

I'd think at this point that everyone knows to just vote the opposite side of whatever Monsanto's supporting, but I guess not.

They're pretty much all GMOs at this point.

 

[Aerial Assault]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

No. Something about GMO which I think means genetically modified organism.

Yes. We tried to mandate that they be labeled here in CA this past November, but the measure failed for some reason. Evidently Mrs. Frosty needs no labels.

I'd think at this point that everyone knows to just vote the opposite side of whatever Monsanto's supporting, but I guess not.

Well said. Of the ten or so initatives on the CA ballot this November, I was pleased with the results of eight of them, and the only one that surprised me, pass or fail, was the GMO labeling. It's LABELING, for crying out loud. Unfortunately Monsanto paid off some scientists to whore themselves out in ads claiming ludicrous reasons why the measure shouldn't be passed, including a very effective but totally false one claiming a 50% higher grocery bill, and that was that. It was a shame.

 

[flysack]

My wife threw out over 50% of the food in our pantry today.

let me guess...she's going gluten-free?

No. Something about GMO which I think means genetically modified organism.

Oh, well Monsanto is the devil. Good luck. Your grocery bill is going to double buying only organic.

Agree on both parts.Edit: buying meat directly from the butcher and getting a garage freezer and Costco can defray this cost increase a lot

All kidding aside, we do this too. I-town is lucky to have one of the country's best agricultural unis (Cornell), so the surrounding farm land is tended by agricultural geniuses and whatnot who are very self-conscious about the way they raise their livestock and tend their crops. There's a few place in town that only sell locally raised meat.

 

[Aquaman]

SweetJ I am just going to be really honest, with no intentions of hurting your feeling or being a jerk. SOmetimes, I might be describing you almost perfectly, other times, I will be way off base.

So, apologies in advance:

If you aren’t beating the game, you are being outplayed. There is a reason why you lose, even if you can’t figure it out.

Albert Morehead

First, some facts to set things up:

1. I ####ing love to gamble. Love it. And in particular, I love to play poker. Mostly 1-2NL. I'm probably down over my lifetime. In particular, the last couple of years I have lost more than I won (my patience with starting hands needs work). But I think if I play my best, I probably could be a net positive player at the 1-2 level.

Most reasonably intelligent people can play poker well enough to win when things are going well and they are playing their best. When I was a poker player, I made a living trying to make people play less than their best, and want to stay at the table. The reality is, most people rarely play their best game or have things go well. What makes a player dangerous is how well they play when they are playing well. What makes a winning player is how they play when they are at their worst or things are going poorly.

he question you need to answer for yourself is, what do you get out of gambling that makes it so important to you that you're willing to be a consistent loser and keep spending large amounts of time on something your wife disapproves of enough for you to lie to her about it? I don't mean that in as negative a way as it sounds - this may seem like a really loaded question, but its one you need to answer for yourself if you want to make a good decision here. Is it the chance to get away from your wife? The chance to be out with the guys? Or meet new people at a poker table, if you're playing with strangers? Is it the juice you feel when you win a big hand?

Im willing to bet (no pun intended) that you'd say all of the above, but the big one is the dopamine rush you get from winning. Thats why you play too many hands even though you know better.

This is the key. I have been working on a graphic novel lately, and there is a big chunk about poker. I have written the following:I have been an emotional predator in poker rooms- seeking broken men who are not playing poker but gambling- trying to silence their own demons for a few hours of shoving chips at the table. Some guys talk about going to Vegas to play in the WSOP or in 50/100 no limit games to test themselves against the best- so they can see where they stood. That was never me. I looked for a tables of guys I could beat, and I would keep playing them until they quit or I couldn't beat them any more. If either event happened, I would simply try to find new guys to beat. But that isn't really what made me a scum bag. What makes me a bottom feeder, and a good poker player, is that I am really good at figuring out why people are at the table: to make money, to feed ego, to be punished (yes, many go to lose, although they don't know it), to escape etc. Then, if you are a l

osing player, I will manipulate you so that you will come back and lose again.

If you are there to prove your manhood, I will try beat you like a drum and talk #### to you, so that you will be eager to come back. You will get such a rush out of those hands where you beat me for $500 dollars that you will be happy to lose ten to fifteen $100 pots to me in order to get that $500 fix.

If you are a poor player there for verbal affirmation/emotional punishment (yes it seems like a strange combo, but it is very common), I will tell you that you are making great plays and have great instincts about when to go against the grain. I will never be rude to you. Every time you put a bad beat on me, I will say, "Man, you have my number. I just can't beat you." When you lose all your money playing stupid, I say "You played great. You just had bad luck."

Many an affirmation/punishment player is there specifically for that moment- when they lose all their money seemingly because of bad luck. These are unhappy with life. They feel like they they have played life correctly and just have gotten bad cards. They usually date/marry nasty dominating women, are smart, well read and often suffer from white guilt. They go to the poker room to reaffirm their miserable existence, where the metaphors for their bad luck plays out at the table most nights. I am always there to tell them that they did all they could, but simply have bad luck. I understand them. I am their minister and there therapist. They will come back to me for $90 per hour.

There are literal young guys wanting to learn the game. You take them under your wing and tell them books to read. This helps them against other players, but not against you, because you know what they have read, and likely, what they will do in most situations. They often will take it a little easier on you, will show you their hands (for affirmation) and will help you in a pinch. This makes you look like less like a ####,

and more like a good guys. These guys are happy to lose to you because they are "paying for lessons".

This is the part of poker I am best at. I figure out why you are there and what will make you come back. If you are a bad player, I try to give you that. If you are a good player, I do what I can not only to deny you that, but to rally the table into denying you that- so that you would not return, so that you would seek out a similarly profitable but more enjoyable game.

So, try really really hard to figure out what you are getting out of it, and why it is worth the hassle, the subtle dishonesty and perhaps, some poor choices you make at the table.

This is brilliant RFW. The perfect cash game summary, and even more perfect for Houston rooms.

 

[Tiger Fan]

He said that they watch a lot of British shows on PBS that just weren't loud enough and he hoped the surround sound could help them out

you still in austin?

Sorry dude, I left this morning. We had a group of about 10 others from out of town plus I didn't have any free time from work. I'll be back in a month.

scrubs on in airport?