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Congrats. Seriously. Glad to hear you are being smart about it and hopefully at least contributing enough to get your company's matching. We shouldn't have to work until we're to old to ENJOY retirement!I've been slowly upping my 401K contributions without her being remotely aware
It won't be enough, but I'm not ignoring the problem either...and she's (slowly) getting better
Glad you are planning for the future and I'm not trying to be a wet blanket, but if she's fiscally irresponsible now odds are it won't be any better later no matter how much you stick in your 401k.I've been slowly upping my 401K contributions without her being remotely aware
It won't be enough, but I'm not ignoring the problem either...and she's (slowly) getting better
I'm reaching her I think...she's getting better in many ways, and she will usually check with me before buying anything costing more than 20 bucks or so. She hasn't gotten to the point where she can leave $50 just sitting untouched somewhere accessible for more than a few days, but she's at least thinking about her purchases, and I no longer struggle to keep the budget in the green month to month.
or at least listen to the radio show. It's repetitive but that's because his plan is simple.
sure you can. you'd have to write it down but you can track your spending with paper. Maybe not the easiest thing, but our grandparents did it.
With the envelopes, you can track your spend. Anytime you buy something that comes from an envelope, put the receipt in the envelope in place of the cash used. Track on a spreadsheet, by hand, whatever you prefer, but you have all of your records right there.
Anyone remember when you used to have to balance a check book? Maybe try using checks for everything because it also makes you go through the thought process of actually writing out in words exactly how much you are spending on whatever you are buying. 
This was a complete shift for me...I never used the envelope approach although my parents have used envelopes their whole life without Ramsey. I used tracking software to track my spending history but never had real success until I adopted a zero based budget system. We use the YNAB program (you need a budget) which is essentially electronic envelopes. It allows you to track spending but encourages a zero budget philosophy which is key. Tracking your spending is like looking at history and it never helped us be proactive about our spending habits. We would look at the spending at the end of the month and say "what happened" lets fix it next month, but the cycle continued. When you assign money to envelopes or use a zero based budget (like YNAB), you proactively track your spending. This is the same philosophy that Ramsey teaches but he prefers using cash instead of electronic purchases. The software still allows you to track and see history but you set up a zero based budget and "spend" every dollar from every paycheck. As long as you keep up with the budget, it will allow you and your wife to see what needs to be sacrificed when you overspend in a category because you will need to move money to give yourself a "zero" budget.
ah, you changed your avatar! I didn't look at the name before reading the post, was agreeing with most of what you wrote until the purchase shaming part. Just can't get behind the need to shame each other into compliance. But otherwise,
It's all about goals. While the $5 latte doesn't seem like a lot at the moment, those add up. But if you keep in mind the larger goal and prioritize accordingly, things tend to work out better. I do spend money on an expensive hobby but that hobby could be a LOT more expensive if I let it be and prioritized the wants for the hobby over the wants of the family. She spends some money on lunch once a week with our 5yo this year before he goes to school, she buys clothes for our future daughter but she's smart about it. Literally, she'll buy clothing for a few dollars that she sells for more after our kids wear it for a year or so. 
Yeah, the actor that played Jaws died, so i changed my avatar out of respect. I'm not in love with the new avatar, but I like Bad Beats.ah, you changed your avatar! I didn't look at the name before reading the post, was agreeing with most of what you wrote until the purchase shaming part. Just can't get behind the need to shame each other into compliance. But otherwise,
It certainly helps that we haven't developed expensive tastes, she doesn't drink alcohol so my consumption is mostly limited to the occasional get together with the guys and a beer or cocktail at home - it's amazing how much most people spend on alcohol and how much more people spend after consuming. We don't buy art or the newest electronics, but we do pay for the annual vacation, lunch after church every week, taking the kids places every so often, but we have developed the habit of considering the cost (but not dwelling on it for stuff we find worthwhile). That's probably the biggest thing: develop the muscle memory to impulsively think "do I really need X or is that money better off invested or spent on something else." Budgeting helps force you to do that, as Dave says "spend intentionally".
As to the "growth of net worth" being the utmost goal; it might work for you but it won't for many. It means a lot more to me to consider the ultimate goal of that net worth - freedom to retire, travel, buy a beach house (that's our utmost goal right now), or whatever you want to do with the money. Not the money itself. But whatever works for you.
Die alone??
she gets to take half that when you get divorcedI've been slowly upping my 401K contributions without her being remotely aware
It won't be enough, but I'm not ignoring the problem either...and she's (slowly) getting better
I believe you should be compounding interest on a weekly basis in that scenario, and allowing for discounted value of future outflows
you're probably right, I hadn't considered that. Thank you for the correction. What's your number?
basically, never do anything because the money you spend could be 13.61 hours of retirement in twenty years.
Freaking awful, but the bolded was the sign your marriage was doomed. Your ex didn't have a money management problem. She had a "Statcruncher is my doormat" problem.
Wait wait wait. You own a ####### boat. The biggest money pit known to mankind, your advice is null and void.
I was gifted a boat. I pay to maintain and store it.
It's really like playing the lotto.
I like that. I'm going to use that going forward to describe my marriage. My wife and I are in the business of raising our kids.
Thankfully mine and I never had kids....makes the check I am going to write that much less. Why do we do this you ask, because it is worth it.
