Had a WTF? conversation with the wife (1 Viewer)

[Clifford]

To make this even more bizarre, I asked when she was under the influence why her ex- never got a paternity test -- if for no other reason to rule him out as the father and not have to pay child support. But he never did and instead has shelled out hundreds of $200K in support over the years. She said he didn't want to go through the embarrassment of having a cheating wife and he always thought the kid was really his and he didn't want to know. He later moved to our area and sees the two kids a lot, so I commend him on that.

As for the level of cheating she fessed up to, she said there were 2 or 3 regular guys she was seeing while married and "sometimes things might have happened at parties". I don't speak drunken girl talk, so people will have to clue me in on what number that translates to. Apparently things in the sack were infrequent with her ex- and he was out of town for several months on business when the miracle of conception occurred, so she is "pretty sure" it wasn't her husband that did the inseminating. If it was one guy, one time or 50 guys, 500 times in terms of cheating, does it really matter?

Amateur move following up good bait with stink bait. Better luck next time.

Yeah. I created a whole new board name, waited out the multi day waiting period to be able to post, and then posted this ONE TOPIC just because I felt like messing with people on a message board about a made up story. That makes sense. Like I don't have anything better to do than go fishing about a personal issue on this site.

Well if that is true the "things happened" part of this sentence means you married a complete and total whore, like gangbang, multi-dude facial type whore. IMO you had grounds for possible divorce before this little nugget. Add in the fact that she is clearly still lying to you about the situation with her ex (biggest load of BS I have ever heard).Hate to say it but I agree with GG on this one. Start getting as much info as possible and prep for divorce. Unless you are ok being married to a girl that gets used like a ragdoll at parties and lies to you all the time.

dude

are you the father?

Context. This vague reference comes after she admits to cheating on her husband with multiple partners in the same time period, and that some of them were one-night stands. So contrasted with what she has just admitted to, she's obviously being intentionally vague on what the "things" were. I just threw the gangbang thing out there. Could have been swinging, could have been anything, but likely worse in her mind than a one night stand.

First she reveals original sob story was bs. Then that she was cheating on him with multiple men, then she didn't know who the father of kid 2 was. But the kicker for me isn't any of that or the "things", it's the question of whether it mattered to him if he was the father of kid 3 or not. Given what OP has just heard, this would make anyone suspicious of whether the cheating didn't continue into the marriage.

 

[Tchula]

paging Maury Povitch

 

[Zow]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Good God you're dramatic.

 

[Henry Ford]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Honestly, are you wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask right now?

 

[Andrew74]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Honestly, are you wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask right now?

 

[DSP]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Honestly, are you wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask right now?

What does this mean?

 

[DSP]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Good God you're dramatic.

Do you not think this is quite dramatic for the OP?

 

[Slapdash]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Honestly, are you wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask right now?

What does this mean?

 

[DSP]

Can we please keep the focus on helping eggroll and leave the elementary school garbage at the door.

We are supposed to be helping the poor guy

 

[BobbyLayne]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Honestly, are you wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask right now?

 

[fantasycurse42]

bluemagic?

1st post of the thread

Nailed it...

 

[fantasycurse42]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Honestly, are you wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask right now?

This man is the player of the week

 

[Zow]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Good God you're dramatic.

Do you not think this is quite dramatic for the OP?

Sure. Which is why "a level I feel is evil" is freaking weird and irrelevant.

 

[DSP]

A married woman sleeping around, or as it seems even worse is implied, its extremely irresponsible and disrespectful to her husband and the child she had at the time.

Not using protection with these random tom, ##### and harrys and risking pregnancy is a completely different level os disrespect and irresponsibility.

A level I feel is evil.

Good God you're dramatic.

Do you not think this is quite dramatic for the OP?

Sure. Which is why "a level I feel is evil" is freaking weird and irrelevant.

He asked advice, so anyones opinion is relevant.

Do you not think evil exists?

 

[trogg78]

And of course. Another he should not be mentioned "look at me" thread. While it is an interesting hypothetical, it's still a pathetic attempt for attention.

 

[optionmaven]

When is the right time to tell someone you just starting dating about your gang bang history? By date 3?

all sorts of good in this thread(cliff and nc commish, nice job) but i like this the best. What is protocol on letting the cats out of the bag? I'm thinking more like 7-10. How many cats do you let out?? All of them at one time??

 

[Frostillicus]

I would be more concerned if my wife was suddenly drinking. Her mental well being. I really wouldn't care about lies she told in a previous relationship.

100% agree.

 

[trogg78]

OMG a woman may have lied about how many guys she banged. Ring the Church Bells we need to have another Bible lesson.

 

[shadyridr]

OMG a woman may have lied about how many guys she banged. Ring the Church Bells we need to have another Bible lesson.

yeah the outrage has nothing to do with her lying about her babys daddy

 

[rockaction]

OMG a woman may have lied about how many guys she banged. Ring the Church Bells we need to have another Bible lesson.

yeah the outrage has nothing to do with her lying about her babys daddy

Felonious behavior is so passe, you rube.

 

[HughHoney]

Have you ever questioned her faithfulness in the past?

 

[tri-man 47]

When is the right time to tell someone you just starting dating about your gang bang history? By date 3?

My wife's best friend encouraged my wife (then girlfriend) to tell me a secret she was holding during our dating period. My wife did not do so until a burst of tears one night a few months after we were married. It might have been a deal-breaker, but I'll never know for sure. Things happen, yet I believe she was the one for me.

More generally, the joke has been that since she's half-Swedish, half-German, I dated the Swede: Married the German. I suspect a lot of women roll out some degree of salesmanship during the courtship.

what was the secret

not tellin' ...I'm not completely anonymous to everyone around here and choose not to say. But I understand the mixed feelings the OP has.

 

[optionmaven]

OMG a woman may have lied about how many guys she banged. Ring the Church Bells we need to have another Bible lesson.

While i agree with this, the woman can't narrow down to 5-10 guys she banged in a month who fathered the 2nd kid? Pre AIDS era, promiscuity ran rampant, and without protection. I could see it happening more then, what kind of a woman runs around unprotected in the 1990 plus era anyway??

 

[trogg78]

OMG a woman may have lied about how many guys she banged. Ring the Church Bells we need to have another Bible lesson.

While i agree with this, the woman can't narrow down to 5-10 guys she banged in a month who fathered the 2nd kid? Pre AIDS era, promiscuity ran rampant, and without protection. I could see it happening more then, what kind of a woman runs around unprotected in the 1990 plus era anyway??

Sounds like most young women lacking self esteem.

 

[TwinTurbo]

Well the OP used the atomic bomb analogy to describe the revelations from his wife which means this secret hurt him badly. Also a cheater is always a cheater. That's a character flaw that never gets fixed and resurfaces when the opportunity presents itself.

 

[rockaction]

OMG a woman may have lied about how many guys she banged. Ring the Church Bells we need to have another Bible lesson.

While i agree with this, the woman can't narrow down to 5-10 guys she banged in a month who fathered the 2nd kid? Pre AIDS era, promiscuity ran rampant, and without protection. I could see it happening more then, what kind of a woman runs around unprotected in the 1990 plus era anyway??

Sounds like most young women lacking self esteem.

Most young women lacking self-esteem don't pin the baby on a person who isn't the father and them bilk him for child support. This is different than youthful transgressions. This is thievery, and a whole lot of other things.

 

[Soulfly3]

Deciding to explore his horizons for the first time since his breakup with Kelly, Zack starts dating a college girl whom he meets outside an over-18 dance club, The Attic. Since Zack's new girl hangs out at The Attic, Zack asks Screech to make fake ID's for Screech, Slater and him so that they may meet . While there, they discover Kelly's boyfriend, Jeff with a girl other than Kelly. Kelly needs to be told about her cheating boyfriend, but no one will tell her except Zack. Naturally, Kelly refuses to believe Zack when he tells her that Jeff is cheating on her. Next, Kelly demands that Zack get fake ID's for her and Jessie so that they may accompany the boys to the club to see for themselves what is going on. Consequently, Zack asks Screech to make fake ID's for Jessie and Lisa so that they may go to The Attic to catch Jeff in the act. Despite Kelly's woes, Zack hits it off with Danielle. However, after a wayward telephone call, Zack's mother finds out that Zack is doing something every evening that he should not be doing. Soon enough, both Kelly's and Zack's worlds are in for big changes.

The answer lies within Saved By The Bell

 

[rockaction]

Deciding to explore his horizons for the first time since his breakup with Kelly, Zack starts dating a college girl whom he meets outside an over-18 dance club, The Attic. Since Zack's new girl hangs out at The Attic, Zack asks Screech to make fake ID's for Screech, Slater and him so that they may meet . While there, they discover Kelly's boyfriend, Jeff with a girl other than Kelly. Kelly needs to be told about her cheating boyfriend, but no one will tell her except Zack. Naturally, Kelly refuses to believe Zack when he tells her that Jeff is cheating on her. Next, Kelly demands that Zack get fake ID's for her and Jessie so that they may accompany the boys to the club to see for themselves what is going on. Consequently, Zack asks Screech to make fake ID's for Jessie and Lisa so that they may go to The Attic to catch Jeff in the act. Despite Kelly's woes, Zack hits it off with Danielle. However, after a wayward telephone call, Zack's mother finds out that Zack is doing something every evening that he should not be doing. Soon enough, both Kelly's and Zack's worlds are in for big changes.

The answer lies within Saved By The Bell

Snark doesn't really save this. Regardless if this is a troll or not. My two cents.

 

[ILUVBEER99]

OMG a woman may have lied about how many guys she banged. Ring the Church Bells we need to have another Bible lesson.

what kind of a woman runs around unprotected in the 1990 plus era anyway??

a lot of them.

 

[domvin]

Trust is gone. You need to go through her phone, and pore over every pic, text, email, phone call, phone number.

Posters are saying she's a terrible Mom. Not really. She lied, scammed, tricked her way to having her children being taken care of. Her one priority is her kids and she got them care that they needed. In that sense, she is a great Mom. She got her kids security.

She lacked morals and made terrible choices. Yes.

People can change, but these are not little white lies. My fear for you eggroll, is why all of a sudden do you lay this out? Something triggered it. Another bombshell to come or maybe 14 years of guilt.

The kid you have together, is how old?

I think hiring a PI is a good call here.

You also need to get this revelation recorded. Id get her drunk again and get her talking again... you need to cover yourself as much as possible.

 

[Abraham]

I imagine the trigger was someone threatening to tell the son that his assumption on who his dad is is incorrect.

 

[Godsbrother]

The other thing I left out was during the drunken rant and tell all, she didn't exactly go about all this in a clear and concise manner. She drifted among topics and didn't go in chronological order. So I had to try to follow the narrative and then reverse engineer it. What made things confusing (and suspicious) was when she would retell part of the story and changed what she said five minutes earlier. For example: hooked up with X at 4th of July and Y at the beach. 10 minutes later. Yes, I hooked up with Z at the 4th of July party and X at the beach. When I asked how Z got into the story, she would be like, "Oh he was so cute. He was so nice to me. I wish I did stuff with him. Never did though. It would have been really nice if something happened. There was that one time at the beach though and that was great." So suddenly there are 3 guys in a story that only had two. But then she denied anything to do with X. Really jumbled and hard to follow her stream of consciousness.

I don't know but I think THIS would be pissing me off more than anything. She is married to you for 14 years, and now supposedly pouring her heart out, and in the midst of all the heartache she says that she wishes she did stuff with other guys???

She seems to be wrapped up in her own feelings and really doesn't have a whole lot of respect for the feelings of others like her ex, her son and most of all you. I don't think I could be with a person like that.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

 

[Zow]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

 

[LinusMarr]

I think i'll just back on out of this doo-doo of a thread....

 

[Keerock]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

I'll do it for 2K.

Disclaimer: I am not an attorney, I don't play one on TV, but I will stay at a Holiday Inn Express (I will add that to my bill though)

 

[Kraft...]

This chick is probably great in the sack, amirite?

maybe not

"wasn't into doing anything physical. The discussion was more interesting anyway" - Eggroll

 

[DocHolliday]

It is not what the wife did in the past that is the concern. It is the ability to lie for 14 years and the number of lies that she told. It would be tough to trust her.

I would not tell the kids anything. Why screw them up? Be the best father that you can. Try to keep your marriage going. In order for the marriage to continue, you have to demand that the wife comes clean on everything in order for you to trust her. Even that may not work since she is such a great liar.

Good luck.

 

[Banger]

you need to get her drunk more often.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

How do you make money? (Or is Arizona another world compared to New Jersey? Standard "easy" divorce here requires 3 court appearances. I'm guessing there will be a paternity test as part of this and a few motions regarding that. If I am in court all day - and you are here the calendar is so backed up - 3 full days is more than 5K right off the bat.

 

[Henry Ford]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

How do you make money? (Or is Arizona another world compared to New Jersey? Standard "easy" divorce here requires 3 court appearances. I'm guessing there will be a paternity test as part of this and a few motions regarding that. If I am in court all day - and you are here the calendar is so backed up - 3 full days is more than 5K right off the bat.

I wasn't going to say anything, but I'd imagine doing a divorce involving a lying, cheating spouse for a flat fee is a terrible idea.

 

[HughHoney]

Get her really drunk and tell her it's poker(really poke her) night at your house and the guys are coming over. Invite 8 guys and see how many she'll take on at the same time. If it's 4 or more that's over the line and you should leave her. Three and under, she's a keeper.

 

[Keerock]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

How do you make money? (Or is Arizona another world compared to New Jersey? Standard "easy" divorce here requires 3 court appearances. I'm guessing there will be a paternity test as part of this and a few motions regarding that. If I am in court all day - and you are here the calendar is so backed up - 3 full days is more than 5K right off the bat.

Well, I did mention I'd charge for the hotel stay.

 

[Henry Ford]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

How do you make money? (Or is Arizona another world compared to New Jersey? Standard "easy" divorce here requires 3 court appearances. I'm guessing there will be a paternity test as part of this and a few motions regarding that. If I am in court all day - and you are here the calendar is so backed up - 3 full days is more than 5K right off the bat.

Well, I did mention I'd charge for the hotel stay.

Plus, what do you care? All you have to buy are toothpaste and lube at the commissary for the next few years while you pay your debt to society for impersonating an attorney.

 

[Keerock]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

How do you make money? (Or is Arizona another world compared to New Jersey? Standard "easy" divorce here requires 3 court appearances. I'm guessing there will be a paternity test as part of this and a few motions regarding that. If I am in court all day - and you are here the calendar is so backed up - 3 full days is more than 5K right off the bat.

Well, I did mention I'd charge for the hotel stay.

Plus, what do you care? All you have to buy are toothpaste and lube at the commissary for the next few years while you pay your debt to society for impersonating an attorney.

And cigs... don't forget the cigs.

 

[Dentist]

so she has 3 kids with 3 different men?

History repeats itself again...

man i love that song

 

[Keerock]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

How do you make money? (Or is Arizona another world compared to New Jersey? Standard "easy" divorce here requires 3 court appearances. I'm guessing there will be a paternity test as part of this and a few motions regarding that. If I am in court all day - and you are here the calendar is so backed up - 3 full days is more than 5K right off the bat.

Well, I did mention I'd charge for the hotel stay.

Plus, what do you care? All you have to buy are toothpaste and lube at the commissary for the next few years while you pay your debt to society for impersonating an attorney.

I've always wondered... those people who "represent themselves"... why don't they get charged with impersonating an attorney?

 

[Zow]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

How do you make money? (Or is Arizona another world compared to New Jersey? Standard "easy" divorce here requires 3 court appearances. I'm guessing there will be a paternity test as part of this and a few motions regarding that. If I am in court all day - and you are here the calendar is so backed up - 3 full days is more than 5K right off the bat.

I'm in a smaller county, so unless the divorce is particularly messy I'm generally just looking at 1-2 court appearances and a few hours of paperwork. My office is in walking distance to the court and the court here runs on a pretty tight schedule so I'm not in court for a 30 minute hearing for much more than 45 minutes.

 

[Zow]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

How do you make money? (Or is Arizona another world compared to New Jersey? Standard "easy" divorce here requires 3 court appearances. I'm guessing there will be a paternity test as part of this and a few motions regarding that. If I am in court all day - and you are here the calendar is so backed up - 3 full days is more than 5K right off the bat.

I wasn't going to say anything, but I'd imagine doing a divorce involving a lying, cheating spouse for a flat fee is a terrible idea.

Eh, it can be. The partner in charge of divorce fees here still strongly prefers flat fees though because our odds of getting paid are so much higher and he believes in the value of not sending invoices amidst settlement discussions. Naturally, the flat fee includes an additional trial fee if the case proceeds to trial so we have a withdraw point if the case cannot settle.

In essence, we are betting on ourselves to effectively screen our clients and efficiently reach a favorable resolution. If we do that, divorces work out well for us. Of course, given that I'm relatively new to this area of practice, my selection isn't perfect and it still takes me a bit longer to get through a case so I've already been burned a couple times by undercharging. I consider that a learning curve though and my boss/partner in charge has been good with it.

 

[James Daulton]

I have reviewed the case and have determined that I would need a $10,000.00 retainer to handle the divorce proceeding.

I'll do it for 5k flat fee.

How do you make money? (Or is Arizona another world compared to New Jersey? Standard "easy" divorce here requires 3 court appearances. I'm guessing there will be a paternity test as part of this and a few motions regarding that. If I am in court all day - and you are here the calendar is so backed up - 3 full days is more than 5K right off the bat.

I'm in a smaller county, so unless the divorce is particularly messy I'm generally just looking at 1-2 court appearances and a few hours of paperwork. My office is in walking distance to the court and the court here runs on a pretty tight schedule so I'm not in court for a 30 minute hearing for much more than 45 minutes.

And for that you charge $5k?