how much would somebody have to pay you to eat a turd? (1 Viewer)

[jon_mx]

Is this even possible. I would gag immediately.

 

[KCitons]

Is this even possible. I would gag immediately.

I wonder the same thing. People on Fear Factor or Survivor have had to eat bugs, etc and couldn't do that without throwing up.

 

[Area51Inhabitant]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

 

[KCitons]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

I've watched my dog lick his balls too, doesn't mean it's possible.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Is it my turd? Can I freeze it beforehand? Can I add flavor? Can I eat lots of corn beforehand and customize my turd?

If you want it to be. no freezing. no additional flavor. you may eat what you want beforehand.

I'm thinking eat a bunch of really hot peppers right before to destroy taste buds and all sensation in your mouth. Then close your eyes and pretend it's a corn dog (like Ross when he was going to drink the glass of fat on Friends.. "vanilla milk shake... vanilla milk shake")

 

[Dentist]

Will I be eating it off my own chest, or someone else's chest?

 

[Dentist]

$1million+ or its not happening

I"ve had literally hundred of similar conversations with my buddies about topics similar to this.

I don't know your personal financial situation, but I find it INCREDIBLY hard to believe that if there were 50K stacked up in hundreds that you wouldn't be BEGGING to gobble that turd up.

1 million is flat ridiculous. It's all fun to make comments like that on a purely hypothetical basis, but if the turd is there and the cash is really there for the taking, I'm guessing your asking price would be a FRACTION of 1 Million bucks.

 

[Rayderr]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

I've watched my dog lick his balls too, doesn't mean it's possible.

I'm pretty sure you could lick your dog's balls if you really tried.

 

[thornberry]

What condiment would you put on a turd?

Grey Poupon?

 

[Scoresman]

Can we puke repeatedly?

Yes, as long as the whole turd makes its way down at some point, I don't care how many times you puke it back up.

Will it be sprinkled with Jimmies?

How many ounces will I need to consume?

Do a get a taste beverage handy to wash it down?

Can I just eat the peanuts? Hell, I've heard plenty here offer to eat the peanuts out of various chicks stools just to get close to them. Maybe they are experienced.I like to learn from th experiences of others and they seem to think it well worth it.

What's a Jimmy?

A normal human sized turd. never weighed one before to say the ounces.

Sure on the beverage

No, you must eat the whole turd.

So we can't freeze the turd.

Can we let it petrify for a month at room temp, or does it have to be a fresh steamer straight from the starfish?

No. you must eat it hot and fresh from the chamber.

How big is the turd? Solid or soft? Is this sitting a couple days after initial dumping or straight from the butt? Flavoring added or as is? After eating corn or no? A lot of questions need to be answered.

answered a lot of these already. A normal human sized turd. Solid. straight from the butt. no flavoring. you can eat what you want.

Is this even possible. I would gag immediately.

Gagging is acceptable.

 

[TheIronSheik]

how much would somebody have to pay you to eat a turd?

Too be fair, if they really wanted to eat a turd, I wouldn't require they pay me first. Seems like that's just insult to injury.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Could I blend it up in a chocolate milkshake?

 

[KCitons]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

I've watched my dog lick his balls too, doesn't mean it's possible.

I'm pretty sure you could lick your dog's balls if you really tried.

Only if he puts peanut butter on them.

 

[Oink Oink the Pig]

Usually a couple of tabs of E and some crank.

 

[Parrothead]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

I've watched my dog lick his balls too, doesn't mean it's possible.

I'm pretty sure you could lick your dog's balls if you really tried.

I'd lick his dog's balls for a million dollars.. I wouldn't eat a turd for any amount

 

[Dentist]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

I've watched my dog lick his balls too, doesn't mean it's possible.

I'm pretty sure you could lick your dog's balls if you really tried.

I'd lick his dog's balls for a million dollars.. I wouldn't eat a turd for any amount

BS. Unless you're a multi-millionaire you'd eat a turd for 10 mil tax free and you'd be asking for another one

In fact, for that kind of jack you'd probably let the person directly deposit the turd into your mouth from their butt.

Momentary agony and discomfort for a lifetime of leisure?

 

[sdp1226]

What condiment would you put on a turd?

Grey Poupon?

Staying classy.

 

[Angry Beavers]

A whole lot more than 1k...

do we get to see who shat it? I mean, if it is a Mila Kunis Turd that is a whole different ballgame than some big nasty fat dude.

 

[mquinnjr]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

I've watched my dog lick his balls too, doesn't mean it's possible.

I'm pretty sure you could lick your dog's balls if you really tried.

I'd lick his dog's balls for a million dollars.. I wouldn't eat a turd for any amount

BS. Unless you're a multi-millionaire you'd eat a turd for 10 mil tax free and you'd be asking for another one

In fact, for that kind of jack you'd probably let the person directly deposit the turd into your mouth from their butt.

Momentary agony and discomfort for a lifetime of leisure?

The turd is from a person who has high risk sechs with other people engaging in high risk sechs on the reg.

The agony might not be momentary, and there is not enough time to do a STD test when you are posed the question. But, the offer is upped to 20MM due to the higher potential risk.

Take your chances, or walk away?

 

[koby925]

Enough to take care of my family to the point where they wouldn't have to contemplate eating turds for money.

 

[sdp1226]

Can I put the turd in a hotdog bun so I wont have to touch it? Would this now qualify as a sandwich?

 

[fantasycurse42]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

I've watched my dog lick his balls too, doesn't mean it's possible.

I'm pretty sure you could lick your dog's balls if you really tried.

I'd lick his dog's balls for a million dollars.. I wouldn't eat a turd for any amount

BS. Unless you're a multi-millionaire you'd eat a turd for 10 mil tax free and you'd be asking for another one

In fact, for that kind of jack you'd probably let the person directly deposit the turd into your mouth from their butt.

Momentary agony and discomfort for a lifetime of leisure?

This is true... Even a "multi-millionaire" say worth $3.5MM for $10MM tax free will do this without hesitation.

 

[Parrothead]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

I've watched my dog lick his balls too, doesn't mean it's possible.

I'm pretty sure you could lick your dog's balls if you really tried.

I'd lick his dog's balls for a million dollars.. I wouldn't eat a turd for any amount

BS. Unless you're a multi-millionaire you'd eat a turd for 10 mil tax free and you'd be asking for another one

In fact, for that kind of jack you'd probably let the person directly deposit the turd into your mouth from their butt.

Momentary agony and discomfort for a lifetime of leisure?

nope.. couldn't do it.. as a matter of fact, I pooped this morning, and with this thread in mind, took a peek.. :X Ain't no way I'd eat one of those

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

I can't understand the people that would do this for 1K, I'm tempted to put up the grand and the turd myself.

 

[Franknbeans]

now imagine a turd eating contest

 

[Parrothead]

now imagine FINISHING OUT OF THE MONEY IN a turd eating contest

fixed

 

[Todd Andrews]

Can I coat it in corn batter and fry it and eat it off a stick like a cornturd dog?

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Can I put the turd in a hotdog bun so I wont have to touch it? Would this now qualify as a sandwich?

Now that's a po' boy.

 

[mquinnjr]

Can I coat it in corn batter and fry it and eat it off a stick like a cornturd dog?

TURDucken

 

[fantasycurse42]

nope.. couldn't do it.. as a matter of fact, I pooped this morning, and with this thread in mind, took a peek.. :X Ain't no way I'd eat one of those

Did you by chance have 5 duffel bags stuffed to the brim with $100 dollar bills next to the toilet? Might have made it look better.

 

[jhib]

Momentary discomfort? All I can think of is changing my kid's diaper and getting a little bit of #### on my hand somehow. You can scrub with soap and water, but there's still that faint smell there for some time reminding you that you had #### on your hand a while ago.

Now imagine that in your mouth. Wash it down with some food and drink, brush your teeth, floss, etc and you still have that taste lingering there. Maybe get some go up your nose as you're vomiting it back up, and now the smell is stuck there, too.

 

[Dentist]

Momentary discomfort? All I can think of is changing my kid's diaper and getting a little bit of #### on my hand somehow. You can scrub with soap and water, but there's still that faint smell there for some time reminding you that you had #### on your hand a while ago.

Now imagine that in your mouth. Wash it down with some food and drink, brush your teeth, floss, etc and you still have that taste lingering there. Maybe get some go up your nose as you're vomiting it back up, and now the smell is stuck there, too.

there are plenty of people that would allow you to amputate part of their body for a million bucks or even less possibly.... and you're telling me you couldn't suffer through some poop aftertaste for a week or so?

 

[jhib]

Momentary discomfort? All I can think of is changing my kid's diaper and getting a little bit of #### on my hand somehow. You can scrub with soap and water, but there's still that faint smell there for some time reminding you that you had #### on your hand a while ago.

Now imagine that in your mouth. Wash it down with some food and drink, brush your teeth, floss, etc and you still have that taste lingering there. Maybe get some go up your nose as you're vomiting it back up, and now the smell is stuck there, too.

there are plenty of people that would allow you to amputate part of their body for a million bucks or even less possibly.... and you're telling me you couldn't suffer through some poop aftertaste for a week or so?

I never said I couldn't do it. I was more just trying to express why I would need more money than some.

That said, I tend to try not to base my decisions on what tons of morons (or just people with much different priorities than mine) in the world would do.

 

[Scoresman]

Requesting this thread now be merged with the "F*** Armageddon, This Is Hell - Burger Edition. 5G vs I&O " thread

 

[spreagle]

Couple years ago some Illinois ##### (I presume) left a big greasy turd on a log 3 feet off the ground on a trail at one of my favorite Wisconsin fishing spots. Didn't see the turd, I stepped over that log and got a horribly smelly Illinois turd streak from knee to knee with a big heaping pile of Illinois turd in my crotch region. Fishing was ruined, I had throw the blue jeans in the brush and drove home in my underwear.

That episode disgusted me so much I don't think I could ever eat human turd for a pittance. My price has since risen to $20,000.

 

[Das Boot]

Can I coat it in corn batter and fry it and eat it off a stick like a cornturd dog?

TURDucken

Outstanding.

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

Will it be sprinkled with Jimmies?

What's a Jimmy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZWE9q6MLL4

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Will it be sprinkled with Jimmies?

What's a Jimmy?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZWE9q6MLL4

This kind of coating could make a serious difference.

Jimmies mutha ####ers

http://icecreamjournal.turkeyhill.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/sprinklecone.jpg

 

[Doctor Detroit]

This would largely depend on the turd, how much money, and where in my life I was.

Also...

THE QUESTION: This week's query comes from Gawker writer Max Read (not a joke, I want it to be perfectly clear that this question came from Max Read): Can you eat your own poop? We've all heard of people who claim that drinking your own urine has health benefits (vitamins, etc). Why not poop? Would there by any benefits to eating your own poop? Since it's already been fully processed by our own bodies, how could there be any dangers? Might it even be GOOD for us?

Daniel Pomp, PhD, professor, UNC School of Global Public Health:

A big difference between urine and poop is that urine is sterile while poop is, well, you know, smelly and full of bacteria.
That said, those are the same bacteria that live in your gut and play many healthy roles in your body, so coprophagy [
Ed.: this means "eating poop," write it down
] is not necessarily unhealthy unless the poop originates from an unhealthy individual.
In fact, a recent article published in the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine showed that fecal transplants, where poop from one individual is infused into another individual's intestines, have performed better than regular antibiotics in treating certain bacterial infections that cause severe diarrhea.

That's food for thought.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I've watched my dog do it for years so I know it must be possible to do.

I've watched my dog lick his balls too, doesn't mean it's possible.

Its plenty possible. I too have licked his balls.

 

[flapgreen]

100k

 

[Mister CIA]

This would largely depend on the turd, how much money, and where in my life I was.

Also...

THE QUESTION: This week's query comes from Gawker writer Max Read (not a joke, I want it to be perfectly clear that this question came from Max Read): Can you eat your own poop? We've all heard of people who claim that drinking your own urine has health benefits (vitamins, etc). Why not poop? Would there by any benefits to eating your own poop? Since it's already been fully processed by our own bodies, how could there be any dangers? Might it even be GOOD for us?

Daniel Pomp, PhD, professor, UNC School of Global Public Health:

A big difference between urine and poop is that urine is sterile while poop is, well, you know, smelly and full of bacteria.

That said, those are the same bacteria that live in your gut and play many healthy roles in your body, so coprophagy [Ed.: this means "eating poop," write it down] is not necessarily unhealthy unless the poop originates from an unhealthy individual.

In fact, a recent article published in the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine showed that fecal transplants, where poop from one individual is infused into another individual's intestines, have performed better than regular antibiotics in treating certain bacterial infections that cause severe diarrhea.

That's food for thought.

I think I'd eat my own poop before I'd acquiesce to a poop transplant. ... for a million dollars, I presume.

 

[Wilfredo Ledezma]

Okay lets assume there's this sick trillionaire with access to lots of money. but you dont wanna be greedy. cause see this dude is like "i want to see you eat a turd...and we can negotiate the price" but if you ask for too much he won't do it. you gotta go with your baseline price. also this is not my sick fetish.

so how much would you be paid to like eat a glistening creviced turd from a big nasty ######. slipping and sliding in the most poetic usage of "log flume" to date. i really think i could eat a big nasty turd for approximately 10,000 dollars. But if I was really hurting for money it might be less.

I think we have a deal. I am ready to take a ####, paypal me the $10K

 

[Wilfredo Ledezma]

Okay lets assume there's this sick trillionaire with access to lots of money. but you dont wanna be greedy. cause see this dude is like "i want to see you eat a turd...and we can negotiate the price" but if you ask for too much he won't do it. you gotta go with your baseline price. also this is not my sick fetish.

so how much would you be paid to like eat a glistening creviced turd from a big nasty ######. slipping and sliding in the most poetic usage of "log flume" to date. i really think i could eat a big nasty turd for approximately 10,000 dollars. But if I was really hurting for money it might be less.

I think we have a deal. I am ready to take a ####, paypal me the $10K

 

[elguapo07]

Out drinking one night back in high school, one of the guys i'm with squats down and takes a dump. He looks at his poop, picks up a small piece and proceeds to put it in his mouth. He immediately vomits, Based on my eyewitness experience I don't think anyone would be able to keep it down after watching this kid vomit so violently.

True story.

 

[sdp1226]

Will it be sprinkled with Jimmies?

What's a Jimmy?

You would have to freeze the turd first and make a poopcicle.

 

[flapgreen]

Need some parameters, Scoresman.

 

[Tick]

100k for my own

250k for a disease free turd (not my own)

100M for a random turd that hasn't been appraised

Picturing an expert being called in on Pawn Stars...

 

[jon_mx]

100k for my own

250k for a disease free turd (not my own)

100M for a random turd that hasn't been appraised

Picturing an expert being called in on Pawn Stars...

If you had a turd preserved from a historical figure like Abraham Lincoln which was authenticated, would it have value?

 

[Todd Andrews]

Can I coat it in corn batter and fry it and eat it off a stick like a cornturd dog?

TURDucken

Outstanding.

very outstanding, and tasty