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I post my least favorite commercials here (5 Viewers)

Car commercial with the maybe Asian dad and his 1/2 & 1/2 daughter who may be 16, may be 26, may be Asian and seemingly has no idea how to drive, as she is distracted by star wars stuff she is hallucinating about.  The car stops on its own and Asian dad says it stopped for you!  If my daughter was distracted and couldn't figure out how to stop at a red light with cars in front of her, I would take her license right there and make her walk home.

 
I have been making up my own words to holiday road;

if I hear this thing just one more time, whoaaaaaa

the next thing I do is commit a crime, whoaaaaaaa

gonna behead someone somewhere, whoaaaaaaaaaaa

locked up in prison, well I don't care, whoaaaaaaaaa

 
The perfume commercial with Natalie Portman.  

 I Love yo-- PROVE IT!!!!!!!!!!! 

"And you.. what would you do for love?"

I would find someone who wouldn't stab me in my sleep, you pretentious #####.  

 
Chemical X said:
Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch Apple Strawberry TV Commercial, 'Fishing'

On a father-daughter fishing trip, the duo pokes fun at each other. The girl tells her dad, who's eating a bowl of Kellogg's Raisin Bran Crunch, that his crunching is scaring away all the fish. Despite his noisy chewing she ends up catching one, but it's so small her dad jokes that they'll be eating cereal for dinner.

Playing Warren Zevon's Werewolves on London on loop in the background makes this interaction even more dopey.  What does the song have to do with this dopey ad?

It’s about a really well-dressed, ladies’ man, a werewolf preying on little old ladies. In a way it’s the Victorian nightmare, the gigolo thing. The idea behind all those references is the idea of the ne’er do-well who devotes his life to pleasure: the debauched Victorian gentleman in gambling clubs, consorting with prostitutes, the aristocrat who squanders the family fortune. All of that is secreted in that one line: “I’d like to meet his tailor.” ~Jackson Browne
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Holy crap now I LOVE that commercial.

 
The General said:
It boggles my mind the amount of money, planning, people, approvals, that companies go through to come up with a giant turd like these MasterPass commercials that are playing with Joe Montana throwing the vase into the wall. 

It's like they made it up in a few minutes. It's not even remotely clever, funny or informative.
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What I have decided is the worst thing about this commercial is that get one of the best quarterbacks in NFL history and he looks like he has never thrown a ball in his life with that follow through.

 
Josie Maran said:
Every jewelry store commercial. Every single one of them.
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Oh yes.  From November through February 14 they just bombard us with these ridiculous diamond commercials.  "You need to buy your gf/wife a diamond or you're a monster!"  

Hey, buy two.. one for your lover and one for your best friend...  a two diamond set for when your best friend is your true love.  BARF BARF BARF FART BARF

And that Wang woman tells us "love is a diamond."    :rolleyes:    :X

 
Excited neighbor: Hey man, check out these cool Xmas decorations I got for our yard!

GMC-buying DB: So what? Mine lights up too *hits remote, truck beeps*

EN: Wow, that's awesome, thanks for reminding me how little disposable income I have. You know I had to work extra shifts to pay for these decorations? Just to spread a little Xmas cheer to the neighborhood and my wife and 5 kids. And WTF does your truck have to do with my decorations anyway? See, this is why no one invites you to summer BBQs Jerry, you insufferable jackass. Enjoy your new truck - don't be surprised to find a metal reindeer through the windshield tomorrow morning.

 
kneeshooter said:
Excited neighbor: Hey man, check out these cool Xmas decorations I got for our yard!

GMC-buying DB: So what? Mine lights up too *hits remote, truck beeps*

EN: Wow, that's awesome, thanks for reminding me how little disposable income I have. You know I had to work extra shifts to pay for these decorations? Just to spread a little Xmas cheer to the neighborhood and my wife and 5 kids. And WTF does your truck have to do with my decorations anyway? See, this is why no one invites you to summer BBQs Jerry, you insufferable jackass. Enjoy your new truck - don't be surprised to find a metal reindeer through the windshield tomorrow morning.
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Everytime I see that I think of how dumb the truck buyer is. 

Ornament neighbor: Look at this, I spent several hundred dollars on cheap crap and saved a few hundred dollars because they were on sale.

Truck neighbor:  Ha, that's nothing. I spent $50,000 plus on a brand new vehicle, saved a couple thousand dollars while doing so, and it is now worth $10,000 less than what I paid for it just because I drove it off the lot!

 
kneeshooter said:
Excited neighbor: Hey man, check out these cool Xmas decorations I got for our yard!

GMC-buying DB: So what? Mine lights up too *hits remote, truck beeps*

EN: Wow, that's awesome, thanks for reminding me how little disposable income I have. You know I had to work extra shifts to pay for these decorations? Just to spread a little Xmas cheer to the neighborhood and my wife and 5 kids. And WTF does your truck have to do with my decorations anyway? See, this is why no one invites you to summer BBQs Jerry, you insufferable jackass. Enjoy your new truck - don't be surprised to find a metal reindeer through the windshield tomorrow morning.
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username checks out

 
Bull Dozier said:
Everytime I see that I think of how dumb the truck buyer is. 

Ornament neighbor: Look at this, I spent several hundred dollars on cheap crap and saved a few hundred dollars because they were on sale.

Truck neighbor:  Ha, that's nothing. I spent $50,000 plus on a brand new vehicle, saved a couple thousand dollars while doing so, and it is now worth $10,000 less than what I paid for it just because I drove it off the lot!
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Plus, I got a brand new $550 per month payment... so HA, jokes on you, peasant! 

 
Bull Dozier said:
I could watch the one with Julia Roberts where she's in that white dress on a constant loop indefinitely. 
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That one is horrible, she looks fake as #### with her giant chompers fake smile.

Now at least Charlize Theron is in skimpy clothing and rolling around in water in her commercial.

 
Josie Maran said:
Every jewelry store commercial. Every single one of them.
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This new Pandora jewelry one is particularly obnoxious. starts out with chicks leaving notes in their dudes pockets and stuff with pictures of rings and other crap. Ends with:

Guy: Here is the red cooking pot I bought you for Christmas

Girl: disappointed shrug and angry look

Guy: open it

Girl: puts expensive ### jewelry on and twirls it around her face while leaning back on the couch.

Instead it should end with...

Guy: "go cook me something with your new red pot you spoiled #####!"

 
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Plorfu said:
Hi, we're PC Matic. We are a world-class,  highly sophisticated defense system for your computers. So why do all of our commercials look like they were shot for 100 bucks by my Uncle Rick, including this terrible piece of crap featuring what I can only assume is a failed family Christian rock band?
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It's the same marketing strategy that the Nigerian scammers use. They deliberately create a pitch that is so bad and unbelievable that only a gullible moron would fall for it. Because that's the demographic that is going to be the most profitable for them.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Buckna said:
That one is horrible, she looks fake as #### with her giant chompers fake smile.

Now at least Charlize Theron is in skimpy clothing and rolling around in water in her commercial.
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Life must really suck when you can't appreciate the small things, like the beauty of a gorgeous woman.

 
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