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Footballguy
First time seeing this thread. All-time classic.
How would that be any different from December 19th?We should celebrate this upcoming December 20th by all throwing #### into our ceilings.
I've said too much.Fixed that for ya.Apparently, I'veThe paper thing could be cultural, but the concept that the draws in the ceiling "couldn't be malicious" is way off. I could totally see this type of malevolence from a guy.I haven't read your "soiled toilet tissue in the trash can" thread, but I know it's very common in parts of the world with poor plumbing. This occurred both in Mexico and on the Navajo Reservation because they were being considerate of the toilet owner. To throw toilet paper in the toilet meant to clog the toilet and have it run over. It's hard to change old habits. Just think how hard it would be to remember the opposite, and always toss the paper in the trash. Our church had a problem a while back of soiled paper on the floor next to the toilet in the men's room. Turns out, it was a couple of Navajo boys who did that because there wasn't a trash can in the stall.As far as the putrid underwear, people don't do that maliciously. He might have been sick, or just didn't get to the toilet in time. I'm sure that he hid his dump out of embarrassment rather than to plant a stink bomb. I mean, if he just wanted to be disgusting, he would have kept his tighty whities and placed the dump up in the ceiling sans underwear. I really don't think it will happen again.underestimatedoverestimated the male gender yet again.
My cousin jerked off in my college apartment once and put his ejaculate in one of my roommate's shampoo bottle.He might be masturbating.Still in there. This kid is taking a hell of a dump. Either that, or he's busy wiping with his socks and hanging them inside the stall like Xmas stockings.
Shampoo bottle is kinder than the jar of Mayo in the fridgeMy cousin jerked off in my college apartment once and put his ejaculate in one of my roommate's shampoo bottle.He might be masturbating.Still in there. This kid is taking a hell of a dump. Either that, or he's busy wiping with his socks and hanging them inside the stall like Xmas stockings.
That takes spunkMy cousin jerked off in my college apartment once and put his ejaculate in one of my roommate's shampoo bottle.He might be masturbating.Still in there. This kid is taking a hell of a dump. Either that, or he's busy wiping with his socks and hanging them inside the stall like Xmas stockings.
He also wiped some jizz on the PlayStation controller that belonged to a roommate I had the following year.Shampoo bottle is kinder than the jar of Mayo in the fridgeMy cousin jerked off in my college apartment once and put his ejaculate in one of my roommate's shampoo bottle.He might be masturbating.Still in there. This kid is taking a hell of a dump. Either that, or he's busy wiping with his socks and hanging them inside the stall like Xmas stockings.![]()
Wonder what Clyde is up to these days?
I imagine he's walking the earth, administering wedgies to filthy, filthy MFers, like some kind of custodial Kane.
This is one of the true classic tales ever. EG is definitely first ballot hall of fame if he ever retires from this place. My sincere hope out of all of this is as follows :When I first came to the FFA, someone had posted a list of great threads to read in order to "catch up" on the past goings-on. Some of the funniest things I have ever read were in there : The Colonblow Diaries, the Rocko thread - several other classics. I spent the day in stitches.I only hope someday this thread will be posted in a compliation like that so future generations of FFAers can laugh as much as I did yesterday, despite all the goings-on, as well as appreciate the heroism of Clyde. That man saved me a lot of grief.![]()
You've gotta hunt down Clyde, dude. Tell him he's internet famous.I always smile when this gets bumped. 12 years ago, damn. Still working for the same company, same building as I was when this occurred. I wonder what Clyde is up to these days myself. There's only 1 person still working there other than me who was there when this all went down.
I hope he won the Powerball or something crazy like that.You've gotta hunt down Clyde, dude. Tell him he's internet famous.
It's a first ballot HoFer for certain.Still arguably the best thread in FFA history.
With some of the ones that have been purged, for sure the best we have access to.It's a first ballot HoFer for certain.
I wouldn't even know where to start. I don't remember his last name and the areas he'd be most likely to be living are nowhere I want to start driving around asking questions.5-ish Finkle said:You've gotta hunt down Clyde, dude. Tell him he's internet famous.
That wouldn't have stopped younger EG. Paramore isn't exactly South Philly. You've changed, man.I wouldn't even know where to start. I don't remember his last name and the areas he'd be most likely to be living are nowhere I want to start driving around asking questions.
Yeah, he had to be 65-70 then, meaning he'd be in his late 70s or early 80s now. Also, young EG grew up not too far from some rough areas and thus knew better than to roll into Paramore or Pine Hills asking a bunch of questions about someone's whereabouts.That wouldn't have stopped younger EG. Paramore isn't exactly South Philly. You've changed, man.![]()
Aren't you some kind of big shot at the fake vomit factory(I imagine you work at a fake vomit manufacturer. Just roll with it)? Just order HR to look up Clyde's bona fides.
Actually, it may be possible that Clyde is no longer with us. He didn't exactly look like a young man in that 12-year old picture. Thinking that sorta bums me out. :( *pours one out preemptively for Clyde just in case*
If for some reason you ever do run in to Clyde don't offer him no swine.I wouldn't even know where to start. I don't remember his last name and the areas he'd be most likely to be living are nowhere I want to start driving around asking questions.
Pretty sure it happened in ArkansasThis took place in Florida right?
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If we could get a spy to that place it would be great. I presume they have the standard sign in the restroom that employees must wash hands. It would be awesome to have a professional looking sign made up to go right under that which sign should read "... and not toss poop smeared undergarment up above the ceiling tiles."Holy ####. Serendipitous that this thread was recently bumped. No, I didn't find Clyde, but I think I found the ceiling crapper. I just happened upon a show I didn't know existed 30 minutes ago on a channel I didn't know existed 30 minutes ago. It's called Huang's World on Vice HD. This Huang guy, who I guess is a chef, was knocking around Orlando so I checked in. Not more than 10 minutes later, he walked into a Puerto Rican restaurant and there, behind the counter, was the ceiling tile pooper. I'm almost certain of it. It was a while ago, so I could be wrong, but he instantly looked familiar. At first, he seemed to say his name was Matt, which threw me off, but then said his name was Christian, which is the underwear goblin's name.
I'm 90% sure that's him.
Got into work this morning and the vestibule smelled so badly of crap, I thought I was going to throw up. I came inside and everyone was burning scented candles to fend off the putrid aroma. I asked what the hell was going on and was told the stink was coming through the air vents.I quickly rounded up the head of maintenance and asked him to locate the source of the problem. President of the company thought it was a dead animal in the A/C system, but I suspected otherwise.Sure enough, after a few minutes, the guy locates the source of the problem. Someone had s--t their pants, taken the heavily soiled boxer briefs, and PUT THEM IN THE CEILING. That's right, the perpetrator stood on the toilet, slid a ceiling tile out of the way, tossed the underpants up there, and replaced the tile. This festered all weekend.We have a suspect. Some of you may remember a previous thread where I mentioned we had an employee who was, for some reason, wiping himself after defacating, and throwing the TP in the trash can rather than into the toilet. Maintenance yelled at me daily about this, but without evidence on one person, what can you do?However, I have to do something about this. The evidence I have against this one guy is as follows :1) He is relatively new. He has been here 3 months, and we never had problems before that. However, there is building construction going on and a lot of contractors, plumbers, etc in the building over that time as well, so this is not iron-clad proof.2) One of the maintenance guys swears it's him. Says he saw the kid leaving the bathroom once, went in, and found soiled TP in the garbage. Again, circumstantial evidence.3) The soiled underwear were size 32/34. There are about 25 men working in this building, and only about 4 or so would even fit into those undies. The suspect is one of them.Is this enough evidence to warrant confrontation? I cannot allow this to continue....
Holy ####. Serendipitous that this thread was recently bumped. No, I didn't find Clyde, but I think I found the ceiling crapper. I just happened upon a show I didn't know existed 30 minutes ago on a channel I didn't know existed 30 minutes ago. It's called Huang's World on Vice HD. This Huang guy, who I guess is a chef, was knocking around Orlando so I checked in. Not more than 10 minutes later, he walked into a Puerto Rican restaurant and there, behind the counter, was the ceiling tile pooper. I'm almost certain of it. It was a while ago, so I could be wrong, but he instantly looked familiar. At first, he seemed to say his name was Matt, which threw me off, but then said his name was Christian, which is the underwear goblin's name.
I'm 90% sure that's him.
He was really young when he worked there, maybe 20-21. So he'd be about 32-33 now. That's the only thing that gives me pause. The guy in the restaurant does look young, but he could be early 30s. I just don't know for certain, but it does look like him.Happen to get the name of the place he was working?
I've still got people on the ground back there who may be willing to drop a ceiling duece with a "Here's a little present for you, Christian, you filthy moe fugger. I have never forgotten. XXO, Clyde" note attached.
This the episode? FFS, it's Eddie Huang.![]()
So, the guy working behind the counter at Matt's Latin BBQ(I used to live about a mile from that freaking place a decade and a half ago)? He looks pretty damn young, doesn't he? 12 years ago that guy was probably about 13 years old.
This is one of the true classic tales ever. EG is definitely first ballot hall of fame if he ever retires from this place.