I thought I'd seen it all at work....... (2 Viewers)

[Evilgrin72]

So who did the Kid call at his desk before he was Clyded?

His girlfriend. I pulled the outbound phone record to make sure there was no impropriety going on.

The fact that the "mad crapper" is not eternally single is both astounding and very worrisome.I wonder what's in her bathroom ceiling

I wondered the same.........

 

[gkennedy34]

Maybe this has been mentioned already - I haven't finished reading the whole thread yet...

Can't you just find the worker that is not wearing underwear?

Line 'em up, and have them all drop trou - The one without underwear is the culprit. :rotflmao:

...or was the deed done before today?

What is multipe employees are going commando?

Sorry I'm so late to respond, but we had a similar incident and an underwear inspection was done. Problem was that five workers were not wearing underwear. No joke.

 

[Evilgrin72]

Maybe this has been mentioned already - I haven't finished reading the whole thread yet...

Can't you just find the worker that is not wearing underwear?

Line 'em up, and have them all drop trou - The one without underwear is the culprit.  :rotflmao:

...or was the deed done before today?

What is multipe employees are going commando?

Sorry I'm so late to respond, but we had a similar incident and an underwear inspection was done. Problem was that five workers were not wearing underwear. No joke.

It may have eventually come to this, but luckily Clyde took care of that for me.

 

[flufhed]

Maybe this has been mentioned already - I haven't finished reading the whole thread yet...

Can't you just find the worker that is not wearing underwear?

Line 'em up, and have them all drop trou - The one without underwear is the culprit.  :rotflmao:

...or was the deed done before today?

What is multipe employees are going commando?

Sorry I'm so late to respond, but we had a similar incident and an underwear inspection was done. Problem was that five workers were not wearing underwear. No joke.

This scenario has happened BEFORE? :X

 

[aardball44]

Update? Has Clyde returned to work? Did he receive a hero's welcome? I'm thinking he would've gotten the Office Space variant of a ticker tape parade.

 

[Evilgrin72]

Update? Has Clyde returned to work? Did he receive a hero's welcome? I'm thinking he would've gotten the Office Space variant of a ticker tape parade.

Since it was requested...........Clyde returned to work on the 23rd to a hero's welcome. Since the incident took place, word had spread like wildfire throughout the building, so even those who weren't privy to the first wave of soiled toilet-paper incidents now knew everything that had gone down. Clyde got a lot of standing ovations as he did his morning cleaning. He seemed very shy and was waving people's salutations off with a self-effacing "Maaaaaaaaaan, look..... I didn't do nothin'..." etc.He was VERY happy that I made good for the suspension days in his bonus. He actually came out well ahead and was glad he wasn't "looked down upon" by management. Looked down upon ? If only I could have told him what a hero he'd become ! He didn't want the ham though - "Clyde don't dig on swine." Sounded like Samuel L in Pulp Fiction... I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard. I took the ham to my mom's house Christmas Eve and we ate it there.Clyde actually left work that Thursday - went to the liquor store, bought a bottle of Johnny Walker Black, and came back to the office at 5:00 to give it to me as a gift for taking care of the situation. I couldn't accept it as such, so I sat Clyde down, and we did shots in my office until about 6:00, shooting the ##### about life, kids, aging, poor bathroom habits - you name it. Good times. The bottle is still 1/4 full and in the bar in my office.No sign of the Mad Pooper. I was hoping we weren't going to have "ROT IN HELL" written in diarrhea across the sign out front when I got back o work on the 27th, but no such incidents have occurred. The furor has died down, Clyde's happy, I'm happy, and the building smells terrific.

 

[aardball44]

"Clyde don't dig on swine."

I just might have to violate my "no sigline" rule for this.

 

[Bax]

Just out of curiousity, is this guy an immigrant. There are actually countries where it is customary to not flush TP, but instead throw it in a trash can or, lacking that even in the corner of the room. I think it is because of crappy sewer/plumbing. I've worked in higher ed residential life and have heard of other hall directors who have had students who would do just that until someone figured out who it was and explained that in the U.S., you just flush. Since you had a meeting and covered it, you'd think he gets it, unless he also doesn't speak english well. In either case, the term ####-can comes to mind.

 

[14662]

Update? Has Clyde returned to work? Did he receive a hero's welcome? I'm thinking he would've gotten the Office Space variant of a ticker tape parade.

Since it was requested...........Clyde returned to work on the 23rd to a hero's welcome. Since the incident took place, word had spread like wildfire throughout the building, so even those who weren't privy to the first wave of soiled toilet-paper incidents now knew everything that had gone down. Clyde got a lot of standing ovations as he did his morning cleaning. He seemed very shy and was waving people's salutations off with a self-effacing "Maaaaaaaaaan, look..... I didn't do nothin'..." etc.He was VERY happy that I made good for the suspension days in his bonus. He actually came out well ahead and was glad he wasn't "looked down upon" by management. Looked down upon ? If only I could have told him what a hero he'd become ! He didn't want the ham though - "Clyde don't dig on swine." Sounded like Samuel L in Pulp Fiction... I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard. I took the ham to my mom's house Christmas Eve and we ate it there.Clyde actually left work that Thursday - went to the liquor store, bought a bottle of Johnny Walker Black, and came back to the office at 5:00 to give it to me as a gift for taking care of the situation. I couldn't accept it as such, so I sat Clyde down, and we did shots in my office until about 6:00, shooting the ##### about life, kids, aging, poor bathroom habits - you name it. Good times. The bottle is still 1/4 full and in the bar in my office.No sign of the Mad Pooper. I was hoping we weren't going to have "ROT IN HELL" written in diarrhea across the sign out front when I got back o work on the 27th, but no such incidents have occurred. The furor has died down, Clyde's happy, I'm happy, and the building smells terrific.

You haven't heard the last from me.

 

[SteelCurtain]

Don't have much to add.

 

[Dragons]

Just out of curiousity, is this guy an immigrant. There are actually countries where it is customary to not flush TP, but instead throw it in a trash can or, lacking that even in the corner of the room. I think it is because of crappy sewer/plumbing. I've worked in higher ed residential life and have heard of other hall directors who have had students who would do just that until someone figured out who it was and explained that in the U.S., you just flush. Since you had a meeting and covered it, you'd think he gets it, unless he also doesn't speak english well. In either case, the term ####-can comes to mind.

This might have been good to know a couple weeks ago before the guy got strung up and run out of town.

 

[Evilgrin72]

Just out of curiousity, is this guy an immigrant. There are actually countries where it is customary to not flush TP, but instead throw it in a trash can or, lacking that even in the corner of the room. I think it is because of crappy sewer/plumbing. I've worked in higher ed residential life and have heard of other hall directors who have had students who would do just that until someone figured out who it was and explained that in the U.S., you just flush. Since you had a meeting and covered it, you'd think he gets it, unless he also doesn't speak english well. In either case, the term ####-can comes to mind.

I don't think he was an immigrant. He was 22 and spoke with virtually no trace of an accent, which is to say, not any more than you'd pick up from living around people who were bilingual. He also was told that such behavior was unacceptable, so even if there were a culture barrier there, that would have been addressed.Besides which, I don't know of any cultural misunderstanding that justifies theft. Furthermore, I also cannot think of any culture in which crapping your pants, then shoving the soiled garment into the ceiling is condoned.

 

[Evilgrin72]

Update? Has Clyde returned to work? Did he receive a hero's welcome? I'm thinking he would've gotten the Office Space variant of a ticker tape parade.

Since it was requested...........Clyde returned to work on the 23rd to a hero's welcome. Since the incident took place, word had spread like wildfire throughout the building, so even those who weren't privy to the first wave of soiled toilet-paper incidents now knew everything that had gone down. Clyde got a lot of standing ovations as he did his morning cleaning. He seemed very shy and was waving people's salutations off with a self-effacing "Maaaaaaaaaan, look..... I didn't do nothin'..." etc.He was VERY happy that I made good for the suspension days in his bonus. He actually came out well ahead and was glad he wasn't "looked down upon" by management. Looked down upon ? If only I could have told him what a hero he'd become ! He didn't want the ham though - "Clyde don't dig on swine." Sounded like Samuel L in Pulp Fiction... I almost wet myself I was laughing so hard. I took the ham to my mom's house Christmas Eve and we ate it there.Clyde actually left work that Thursday - went to the liquor store, bought a bottle of Johnny Walker Black, and came back to the office at 5:00 to give it to me as a gift for taking care of the situation. I couldn't accept it as such, so I sat Clyde down, and we did shots in my office until about 6:00, shooting the ##### about life, kids, aging, poor bathroom habits - you name it. Good times. The bottle is still 1/4 full and in the bar in my office.No sign of the Mad Pooper. I was hoping we weren't going to have "ROT IN HELL" written in diarrhea across the sign out front when I got back o work on the 27th, but no such incidents have occurred. The furor has died down, Clyde's happy, I'm happy, and the building smells terrific.

You haven't heard the last from me.

:rotflmao:

 

[Evilgrin72]

"Clyde don't dig on swine."

I just might have to violate my "no sigline" rule for this.

CB you......

 

[Bax]

Just out of curiousity, is this guy an immigrant. There are actually countries where it is customary to not flush TP, but instead throw it in a trash can or, lacking that even in the corner of the room. I think it is because of crappy sewer/plumbing. I've worked in higher ed residential life and have heard of other hall directors who have had students who would do just that until someone figured out who it was and explained that in the U.S., you just flush. Since you had a meeting and covered it, you'd think he gets it, unless he also doesn't speak english well. In either case, the term ####-can comes to mind.

I don't think he was an immigrant. He was 22 and spoke with virtually no trace of an accent, which is to say, not any more than you'd pick up from living around people who were bilingual. He also was told that such behavior was unacceptable, so even if there were a culture barrier there, that would have been addressed.Besides which, I don't know of any cultural misunderstanding that justifies theft. Furthermore, I also cannot think of any culture in which crapping your pants, then shoving the soiled garment into the ceiling is condoned.

Yeah, the in the cieling part was whacko, as was not listening to the hey don't throw you tp in the trash can speech all were given. I was just throwing out something that might have explained the initial issue, not the mad crappers later issues.

 

[Evilgrin72]

I was just throwing out something that might have explained the initial issue, not the mad crappers later issues.

Yeah.... I think that very likely was the cause of the initial issue. What happened after that was sheer lunacy.

 

[Lehigh98]

Caught the first page or so when it first happened but just finished the rest... bravo!

 

[Dragons]

Just out of curiousity, is this guy an immigrant. There are actually countries where it is customary to not flush TP, but instead throw it in a trash can or, lacking that even in the corner of the room. I think it is because of crappy sewer/plumbing. I've worked in higher ed residential life and have heard of other hall directors who have had students who would do just that until someone figured out who it was and explained that in the U.S., you just flush. Since you had a meeting and covered it, you'd think he gets it, unless he also doesn't speak english well. In either case, the term ####-can comes to mind.

I don't think he was an immigrant. He was 22 and spoke with virtually no trace of an accent, which is to say, not any more than you'd pick up from living around people who were bilingual. He also was told that such behavior was unacceptable, so even if there were a culture barrier there, that would have been addressed.Besides which, I don't know of any cultural misunderstanding that justifies theft. Furthermore, I also cannot think of any culture in which crapping your pants, then shoving the soiled garment into the ceiling is condoned.

Yeah, the in the cieling part was whacko, as was not listening to the hey don't throw you tp in the trash can speech all were given. I was just throwing out something that might have explained the initial issue, not the mad crappers later issues.

This theory was actually brought up on about page 4ish and for a brief few posts people starting feeling sorry for the guy, until everyone came back to their senses.It was also the subject of one of the cartoon sketches, well, more specifically, the kid bragging to his girlfriend about how he got out of trouble at work by playing the "bad toilets in my home country" card.Oh, and I believe the kid even used the excuse during the suspension meeting.

 

[Evilgrin72]

This theory was actually brought up on about page 4ish and for a brief few posts people starting feeling sorry for the guy, until everyone came back to their senses.It was also the subject of one of the cartoon sketches, well, more specifically, the kid bragging to his girlfriend about how he got out of trouble at work by playing the "bad toilets in my home country" card.Oh, and I believe the kid even used the excuse during the suspension meeting.

Correct on all counts. I came back from lunch that day and start reading the "poor kid" posts.... they were a good portion of the reason I strictly suspended him rather than firing him right off the bat. Luckily, he made my ultimate decision for me, and in such dramatic fashion !!!!

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Furthermore, I also cannot think of any culture in which crapping your pants, then shoving the soiled garment into the ceiling is condoned.

Have you been to an Eagles game?

 

[Evilgrin72]

Furthermore, I also cannot think of any culture in which crapping your pants, then shoving the soiled garment into the ceiling is condoned.

Have you been to an Eagles game?

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Fortunately, no......

 

[TheIronSheik]

Furthermore, I also cannot think of any culture in which crapping your pants, then shoving the soiled garment into the ceiling is condoned.

Have you been to an Eagles game?

That's a good point.

 

[thefatkid13]

I, personally, am disappointed that no one has used an appropriate "scatman" punchline.

amazing threadi laughedi criedstill amazed that no one has pointed out the obvious Scatman Crothers reference:http://kim.c64.org/covers/full/hong_kong_phooey.jpg

 

[Sack-Religious.]

Thanks for the update EvilGrin - I was wondering what happened."Clyde don't dig on swine" :rotflmao: Even better that he refers to himself in the 3rd person!I do have to add that Clyde has now become a regular contributor to jokes around my house. I shared this thread/story with my wife and at least a couple times a week there's a reference to "crapping the ceiling"Matter fact, the other day after changing a crappy diaper of my son's, instead of putting it in the diaper pail, I told her I'd be right back and I was going to do something in the bathroom. She immediately looked me dead in the eye and said, "If you're planning on hiding that somewhere in the bathroom, Clyde most certainly DOES NOT bless that"

 

[Evilgrin72]

I do have to add that Clyde has now become a regular contributor to jokes around my house. I shared this thread/story with my wife and at least a couple times a week there's a reference to "crapping the ceiling"Matter fact, the other day after changing a crappy diaper of my son's, instead of putting it in the diaper pail, I told her I'd be right back and I was going to do something in the bathroom. She immediately looked me dead in the eye and said, "If you're planning on hiding that somewhere in the bathroom, Clyde most certainly DOES NOT bless that"

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: That is outstanding. Clyde would be so perplexed if he had any idea how far-reaching this has become !

 

[Limp Dogg Bizkits]

GBC

 

[aardball44]

.... Bump

 

[Psychopav]

Nipsey

CB, GB's...

 

[ChampBailey24]

GB Mexicans.

 

[Sam Quentin]

 

[dickey moe]

Nipsey

CB, GB's...

Great thread. ####ty bump.

 

[Seymour Corn]

Fantasic thread.

I #### my pants.

 

[mr. furley]

does the bump mean this one's gonna get the axe too???

 

[Psychopav]

Nipsey

CB, GB's...

Great thread. ####ty bump.

 

[Nigel]

Nipsey

CB, GB's...

Great thread. ####ty bump.

It was a great thread, had its day, ran its course, was beaten like a dead horse - let it RIP.

 

[Emmitt Smith]

I've dated several. Generalizing a lot here, but I found that it always semed that their skin was just slightly rougher or a different texture then other species of women.

IMHO, Latina women are where it's at, and it isn't even close.

 

[Psychopav]

Nipsey

CB, GB's...

Great thread. ####ty bump.

It was a great thread, had its day, ran its course, was beaten like a dead horse - let it RIP.

Every great thread deserves to be brought back once in awhile.Maaaaan, look. CDB Clyde-haters.

 

[AnonymousBob]

As someone who wasn't around when this thread was first created, I'm thankful someone bumped it. One of the funniest things I've ever read online. To Hell with that, this was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

How's Clyde doin' these days?

 

[Evilgrin 72]

As someone who wasn't around when this thread was first created, I'm thankful someone bumped it. One of the funniest things I've ever read online. To Hell with that, this was one of the funniest things I've ever read. How's Clyde doin' these days?

No idea. Haven't seen or heard from the man since he assaulted El DeBarge and sealed his own fate. El DeBarge turned out to be a thief and a loaf, so he was replaced by Joey Boots, who mans the position to this day.

 

[TheIronSheik]

As someone who wasn't around when this thread was first created, I'm thankful someone bumped it. One of the funniest things I've ever read online. To Hell with that, this was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

How's Clyde doin' these days?

No idea. Haven't seen or heard from the man since he assaulted El DeBarge and sealed his own fate. El DeBarge turned out to be a thief and a loaf, so he was replaced by Joey Boots, who mans the position to this day.

WTF? Do you work for the mafia?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

As someone who wasn't around when this thread was first created, I'm thankful someone bumped it. One of the funniest things I've ever read online. To Hell with that, this was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

How's Clyde doin' these days?

No idea. Haven't seen or heard from the man since he assaulted El DeBarge and sealed his own fate. El DeBarge turned out to be a thief and a loaf, so he was replaced by Joey Boots, who mans the position to this day.

WTF? Do you work for the mafia?

I think it's a facial cream company. Oil of Olay, perhaps?

 

[GStrot]

As someone who wasn't around when this thread was first created, I'm thankful someone bumped it. One of the funniest things I've ever read online. To Hell with that, this was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

How's Clyde doin' these days?

No idea. Haven't seen or heard from the man since he assaulted El DeBarge and sealed his own fate. El DeBarge turned out to be a thief and a loaf, so he was replaced by Joey Boots, who mans the position to this day.

WTF? Do you work for the mafia?

I think it's a facial cream company. Oil of Olay, perhaps?

So, it is a front for the mafia.

 

[[icon]]

 

[Evilgrin 72]

As someone who wasn't around when this thread was first created, I'm thankful someone bumped it. One of the funniest things I've ever read online. To Hell with that, this was one of the funniest things I've ever read.

How's Clyde doin' these days?

No idea. Haven't seen or heard from the man since he assaulted El DeBarge and sealed his own fate. El DeBarge turned out to be a thief and a loaf, so he was replaced by Joey Boots, who mans the position to this day.

WTF? Do you work for the mafia?

I think it's a facial cream company. Oil of Olay, perhaps?

So, it is a front for the mafia.

Maybe. Maybe not.

 

[Pip's Invitation]

I'd never seen this before. Great read for a rainy Sunday. Thanks to whomever linked to it from the "Funniest FFA Threads" thread.

 

[Stoneys]

I can't believe this thread is almost 3 years old!!

 

[Evilgrin 72]

I can't believe this thread is almost 3 years old!!

Still feels like it was yesterday......

 

[PatsWillWin]

dot

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

I like to think of Clyde as having gotten a position to provide personal janitorial services for the Dalai Lama who Clyde met while "walking the earth".

 

[Evilgrin 72]

I like to think of Clyde as having gotten a position to provide personal janitorial services for the Dalai Lama who Clyde met while "walking the earth".

If I ever see him again, I'll ask him.