What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

If I went to the Doctor... (1 Viewer)

E

Eminence

Footballguy
And told him I hate weighing 130 lbs, that it depresses me, that it makes me hate my life, and I can't take it anymore.

Would he be able to prescribe me HGH, Steroids, or something to slow down my metabolism?

 
Eminence said:
And told him I hate weighing 130 lbs, that it depresses me, that it makes me hate my life, and I can't take it anymore.

Would he be able to prescribe me HGH, Steroids, or something to slow down my metabolism?
Click to expand...
Just a tip

The more weight you gain, the smaller your #### is going to get. So if you're already a bit lacking, stay at 130. If like the rest of us, you're packing a Lex Steele, gain a solid 40pnds.

I can give you my post-University diet routine. gained 40 in no time.

 
I'm going to one of the weed states and see if that gets me a 'script for legal weed. Only make that 6 '0", 250#.

 
Eminence said:
And told him I hate weighing 130 lbs, that it depresses me, that it makes me hate my life, and I can't take it anymore.

Would he be able to prescribe me HGH, Steroids, or something to slow down my metabolism?
Click to expand...
if you said that to an MD, he'd likely refer you to a mental health professional to discuss your depression. the "...hate my life...I can't take it anymore..." is a big red flag.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Eminence said:
Let me rephrase that, how can I get HGH / steroids?
Click to expand...
You're about 5'8, 130... I think the easiest way to get sauce for you is at a gym. You should walk up to the largest dude in the gym, he'll prefer to be approached when there are a lot of people around who can hear the conversation. Make sure he's at least 6'6, 285lb. You're gonna want to speak up in an intimidating voice and just say "I need the juice, I'll pay you market price!"

Can't go wrong!

 
Sinn Fein said:
Jesus, I have not weighed 130 since I discovered beer and pizza.
Click to expand...
Ronda Rousey weighs about 5 lbs more.

Let that sink in for a moment, Eminence.

.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
wazoo11 said:
Sinn Fein said:
Jesus, I have not weighed 130 since I discovered beer and pizza.
Click to expand...
Ronda Rousey weighs about 5 lbs more.

Let that sink in for a moment, Eminence.

.
Click to expand...
Dude, you don't think I already feel like ####? I went to the bar for New Years last night and there were COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF SMOKING GIRLS. Yet, once again, I could tell that I was borderline transparent to them. Like, I'm handsome as #### but that doesn't matter when you're the skinniest dude at the bar.

Edit: Hence, why I need the juice. If I can acquire it legally, great, if not, so be it.

I know what's going to make me happy.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Eminence said:
wazoo11 said:
Sinn Fein said:
Jesus, I have not weighed 130 since I discovered beer and pizza.
Click to expand...
Ronda Rousey weighs about 5 lbs more.

Let that sink in for a moment, Eminence.

.
Click to expand...
Dude, you don't think I already feel like ####? I went to the bar for New Years last night and there were COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF SMOKING GIRLS. Yet, once again, I could tell that I was borderline transparent to them. Like, I'm handsome as #### but that doesn't matter when you're the skinniest dude at the bar.

Edit: Hence, why I need the juice. If I can acquire it legally, great, if not, so be it.

I know what's going to make me happy.
Click to expand...
Clearly.

 
Eminence said:
wazoo11 said:
Sinn Fein said:
Jesus, I have not weighed 130 since I discovered beer and pizza.
Click to expand...
Ronda Rousey weighs about 5 lbs more.

Let that sink in for a moment, Eminence.

.
Click to expand...
Dude, you don't think I already feel like ####? I went to the bar for New Years last night and there were COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF SMOKING GIRLS. Yet, once again, I could tell that I was borderline transparent to them. Like, I'm handsome as #### but that doesn't matter when you're the skinniest dude at the bar.

Edit: Hence, why I need the juice. If I can acquire it legally, great, if not, so be it.

I know what's going to make me happy.
Click to expand...
If you're boring as #### like you are here, you're not going to get laid at a bar.

Personality/confidence > appearance.

 
Eminence said:
Yet, once again, I could tell that I was borderline transparent to them. Like, I'm handsome as #### but that doesn't matter when you're the skinniest dude at the bar.
Click to expand...
No need to lie "Jackhammer", we've seen your online dating profile.

 
Eminence said:
wazoo11 said:
Sinn Fein said:
Jesus, I have not weighed 130 since I discovered beer and pizza.
Click to expand...
Ronda Rousey weighs about 5 lbs more.

Let that sink in for a moment, Eminence.

.
Click to expand...
Dude, you don't think I already feel like ####? I went to the bar for New Years last night and there were COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF SMOKING GIRLS. Yet, once again, I could tell that I was borderline transparent to them. Like, I'm handsome as #### but that doesn't matter when you're the skinniest dude at the bar.

Edit: Hence, why I need the juice. If I can acquire it legally, great, if not, so be it.

I know what's going to make me happy.
Click to expand...
you need to stack... anavar should get you going as a base (do research)

make sure you "wash it down" with Milk Thistle, to cleanse the liver a bit.

All Im going to tell you

 
Maybe. Get your test level checked, might be low and qualify for test treatment.

And eat a lot of calorically dense foods.

 
Soulfly3 said:
Eminence said:
wazoo11 said:
Sinn Fein said:
Jesus, I have not weighed 130 since I discovered beer and pizza.
Click to expand...
Ronda Rousey weighs about 5 lbs more.

Let that sink in for a moment, Eminence.

.
Click to expand...
Dude, you don't think I already feel like ####? I went to the bar for New Years last night and there were COUNTLESS AMOUNTS OF SMOKING GIRLS. Yet, once again, I could tell that I was borderline transparent to them. Like, I'm handsome as #### but that doesn't matter when you're the skinniest dude at the bar.

Edit: Hence, why I need the juice. If I can acquire it legally, great, if not, so be it.

I know what's going to make me happy.
Click to expand...
you need to stack... anavar should get you going as a base (do research)

make sure you "wash it down" with Milk Thistle, to cleanse the liver a bit.

All Im going to tell you
Click to expand...
Solid advice, make sure and pop those Milk Thistle pills like Skittles.
 
Aren't you almost a pharmacist? Or you tried banging a pharmacist?

I feel like we are lining up for that rare "two birds with one stone" thing my dad told me about.

Chances are you are too skinny to be seen on any surveillance cameras. Godspeed.

 
From your description of things, I am pretty sure Thailand is where you want to go. You will find many other males with your predicament. Many have found a solution to their "issues" they are having. Might work for you as well.

 
Went hard at the gym the past two-days. Trying to regain what I had worked up a few months ago, decided I'm going to do two-days on - one day off this time around.

 
I also bought these "Walgreens Nutrition Drinks" that you're supposed to drink daily. They give you 350 Calories per drink and all the stupid Vitamins and Minerals you're supposed to have to be healthy. They're supposed to be for old people but I figure I had the physique of an old man, so #### it.

 
Eminence said:
I also bought these "Walgreens Nutrition Drinks" that you're supposed to drink daily. They give you 350 Calories per drink and all the stupid Vitamins and Minerals you're supposed to have to be healthy. They're supposed to be for old people but I figure I had the physique of an old man, so #### it.
Click to expand...
Dude.

Go to a GNC, Vitamin World type place. They have 2k calorie drinks.

 
Join a boxing gym and start losing weight. You could be a terror at super flyweight or bantamweight.

 
Eminence said:
I also bought these "Walgreens Nutrition Drinks" that you're supposed to drink daily. They give you 350 Calories per drink and all the stupid Vitamins and Minerals you're supposed to have to be healthy. They're supposed to be for old people but I figure I had the physique of an old man, so #### it.
Click to expand...
I gave you the PERFECT advice in this thread, but you ignored it like a numbskull.

You're an attention seeking lady-boy, with no intentions of changing... And that's cool, but dont pretend that you're not cool with it. You clearly are

Let us know the next time a chick plays xylophone with your ribcage, Trevor Reznik.

 
You may be overtraining. What do your workouts look like?

I am going to offer you serious advice against my better judgement. I feel your pain because I was a skinny kid until I started working out and eating right when I was 15.

You need to avoid cardio except for sex.

You need to work out 3 times/week for about 30 to 40 minutes. Use weight that you can rep 6 times but no more than 10 times. Warm up before each exercise with light reps and 10 to 12 reps. Repeat each exercise three times. You need to work out so hard that you hate working out. I used to feel like throwing up after leg day. That is the intensity that you need to go from being to scrawny to at least being of normal size.

Day one: Legs - Squats, leg press, and hamstring curls.

Day two: Back - Deadlifts, pull ups (pull downs if you are too weak to do 6 pull ups), bent over rows.

Day three: Chest and Shoulders - Incline dumbell press, flat bell flys, shoulder press, and bell side delts.

Follow this routine for 8 weeks then we change it up slightly.

Eat like a pig. Eat healthy most meals but also eat some fat. Do not waste your time with cookies and cake. Eat hamburgers, pasta, pizza, steaks and potatoes. Eat ice cream every night while sitting alone watching TV. You need to eat 4000 calories every day. The protein drink thing is nice but drink those on top of the 4000 calories.

You are not big enough for steroids. You should be able to gain 20 pounds by the end of 2014. At the end of that time, there are prohormones available legally online and at some supplement stores. Prohormones are designer steroids and precursors to steroids. Do a google search. Do not be stupid though. You need a liver. And, losing your hair is possible with steroid use. You can pull off being young and bald if you are 6', 225 pounds and ripped. You will look like even more of an AIDS patient should you lose your hair at 130 pounds.

 
when is this shtick going to end? Paging Iron Sheik to put an end to the madness. Oh, and over under on the number of post before he is begging a mod to "HARD DELETE" this thread.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
sbonomo said:
when is this shtick going to end? Paging Iron Sheik to put an end to the madness. Oh, and over under on the number of post before he is begging a mod to "HARD DELETE" this thread.
Click to expand...
I was just about to post asking for the over/under on the post number when someone asked for the over/under on his request for a "HARD DELETE". You know the schtick is up when even the responses from other posters have become played out.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Terpman22
How many states have you been to? Any all 50 folks?
2 3
Replies
125
Views
2K
dgreen
dgreen
Joe Bryant
A Glimpse of Beauty In an Ugly Place
Replies
0
Views
222
Joe Bryant
Joe Bryant
Senor Schmutzig
I had a heart attack this weekend...
2 3
Replies
115
Views
3K
Mr.Pack
Mr.Pack

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top