If you could have a super power, what would it be? (1 Viewer)

[T J]

I think teleportation for me. Invisibility a close second. The combination of the two? Ohh... The things I could do.

I musta had a dream last night or something, but what say you? What superpower would you want?

 

[Dentist]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

 

[bostonfred]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

If you hate work so much why did you pick your job as a username?

 

[Dentist]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

If you hate work so much why did you pick your job as a username?

I picked the user name 12 years ago when I was pretty new at my job, excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

 

[fantasycurse42]

IIRC dentists have the highest rate of suicide (amongst professionals)?

Not saying that is you, but a lot of depressed dentists out there.

 

[xulf]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

This is weirder than usual for you.

 

[Glass Joe]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

If you hate work so much why did you pick your job as a username?

I picked the user name 12 years ago when I was pretty new at my job, excited about it, and proud of it.Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

Backstory?

 

[hagmania]

Unlimited likes

 

[Spin]

Flight has to be up there

 

[Annyong]

Vibrate through walls

 

[(HULK)]

The ability to bang anyone in their prime.

For example, I find a 80s magazine lying around with a shot of Christy Brinkley on the cover. Bam, she's in the room with me now and super horny.

If I can do this as often as I want, I probably live in a shack in some backwater and never leave home.

<OR>

The ability to grant everyone on the planet perfect teeth and gums, making dentists irrelevant.

 

[Jayrok]

The ability to bang anyone in their prime.

For example, I find a 80s magazine lying around with a shot of Christy Brinkley on the cover. Bam, she's in the room with me now and super horny.

If I can do this as often as I want, I probably live in a shack in some backwater and never leave home.

<OR>

The ability to grant everyone on the planet perfect teeth and gums, making dentists irrelevant.

This is a fine post. I would add the ability to stay young myself. Hard to double bang 1980 Christy Brinkley and 1976 Farrah Faucet as an 85 year old man.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

 

[Sinn Fein]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

If you hate work so much why did you pick your job as a username?

I picked the user name 12 years ago when I was pretty new at my job, excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

Sounds like the world has simply taken a dump on your chest.

 

[Dentist]

The ability to bang anyone in their prime.

For example, I find a 80s magazine lying around with a shot of Christy Brinkley on the cover. Bam, she's in the room with me now and super horny.

If I can do this as often as I want, I probably live in a shack in some backwater and never leave home.

<OR>

The ability to grant everyone on the planet perfect teeth and gums, making dentists irrelevant.

This is a fine post. I would add the ability to stay young myself. Hard to double bang 1980 Christy Brinkley and 1976 Farrah Faucet as an 85 year old man.

Ability to get to 26, stay there 50 years and then die would be great actually.

Good idea

 

[Hastur]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

So, you want a long line of old, overweight women waiting to bang you? You might want to rethink this...

 

[Jayrok]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

creative. You could have session rates based on the current... appearance.. of the client. Sort of weed out the undesirables by making it too expensive.

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

1) Stop time for everyone else but me.

2) Not age.

 

[James Daulton]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

If you hate work so much why did you pick your job as a username?

I picked the user name 12 years ago when I was pretty new at my job, excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

Didn't this also coincide with your nomarriage.com mantra?

 

[Fat Nick]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

Ditkaless Wonders' response in 12 years when asked why he chose that super power:

I picked the super power 12 years ago when I was excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

 

[McGarnicle]

I would be omnipotent. Every human being on the planet would obey my every wish. I'd fix all of society's ills, I'd end poverty, wars, etc., I'd be insanely wealthy, and I'd bang all of the world's hottest women. That would be pretty sweet!

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

Ditkaless Wonders' response in 12 years when asked why he chose that super power:

I picked the super power 12 years ago when I was excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

More like, "Christy, I know you hate looking almost 30, but I already have appointments with Brooklyn and Adrianna this weekend. The only way I could fit this in is if you were willing to double up with one of them, and I'd hate to do this to Christy Brinkley but I would have to charge you double my regular rate." "Anyhow, call Ms. Lima or Ms. Decker's people and see if either of them is amenable, otherwise you will have to wait, next week is booked solid with Ms. Anniston, Ms. Bullock, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Saldano, and half the Sports illustrated swimsuit models who all want a bit of help before their photo shoots for the magazine get underway." "Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how to work Ms. Jolie into the schedule and Selena Gomez's people are offering me triple my rate if I could just find a way to get to her." "Maybe halftime at the Packer's game, but no promises." "Oh, if I do agree to halftime you have to shut up during the game, bring me wings, and leave as soon as we are done, which will be before the second half kickoff, got it?"

 

[KarmaPolice]

IIRC dentists have the highest rate of suicide (amongst professionals)?

Not saying that is you, but a lot of depressed dentists out there.

I thought it was veterinarians - make a bit less, are comfortable with the concept of euthanasia, and have access to those types of drugs.

 

[KarmaPolice]

Ability to manipulate time.

 

[Fat Nick]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

Ditkaless Wonders' response in 12 years when asked why he chose that super power:

I picked the super power 12 years ago when I was excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

More like, "Christy, I know you hate looking almost 30, but I already have appointments with Brooklyn and Adrianna this weekend. The only way I could fit this in is if you were willing to double up with one of them, and I'd hate to do this to Christy Brinkley but I would have to charge you double my regular rate." "Anyhow, call Ms. Lima or Ms. Decker's people and see if either of them is amenable, otherwise you will have to wait, next week is booked solid with Ms. Anniston, Ms. Bullock, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Saldano, and half the Sports illustrated swimsuit models who all want a bit of help before their photo shoots for the magazine get underway." "Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how to work Ms. Jolie into the schedule and Selena Gomez's people are offering me triple my rate if I could just find a way to get to her." "Maybe halftime at the Packer's game, but no promises."

I guess if the magic was in the sauce, you could just bottle it, brand it as "Ditk Juice," and sell it to those you didn't want to have "appointments" for. I mean...maybe Rosie O'Donnell wants to get younger too...

 

[top dog]

Ability to become invisible would be awesome.

 

[Jayrok]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

Ditkaless Wonders' response in 12 years when asked why he chose that super power:

I picked the super power 12 years ago when I was excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

More like, "Christy, I know you hate looking almost 30, but I already have appointments with Brooklyn and Adrianna this weekend. The only way I could fit this in is if you were willing to double up with one of them, and I'd hate to do this to Christy Brinkley but I would have to charge you double my regular rate." "Anyhow, call Ms. Lima or Ms. Decker's people and see if either of them is amenable, otherwise you will have to wait, next week is booked solid with Ms. Anniston, Ms. Bullock, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Saldano, and half the Sports illustrated swimsuit models who all want a bit of help before their photo shoots for the magazine get underway." "Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how to work Ms. Jolie into the schedule and Selena Gomez's people are offering me triple my rate if I could just find a way to get to her." "Maybe halftime at the Packer's game, but no promises." "Oh, if I do agree to halftime you have to shut up during the game, bring me wings, and leave as soon as we are done, which will be before the second half kickoff, got it?"

go on...

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

Ditkaless Wonders' response in 12 years when asked why he chose that super power:

I picked the super power 12 years ago when I was excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

More like, "Christy, I know you hate looking almost 30, but I already have appointments with Brooklyn and Adrianna this weekend. The only way I could fit this in is if you were willing to double up with one of them, and I'd hate to do this to Christy Brinkley but I would have to charge you double my regular rate." "Anyhow, call Ms. Lima or Ms. Decker's people and see if either of them is amenable, otherwise you will have to wait, next week is booked solid with Ms. Anniston, Ms. Bullock, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Saldano, and half the Sports illustrated swimsuit models who all want a bit of help before their photo shoots for the magazine get underway." "Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how to work Ms. Jolie into the schedule and Selena Gomez's people are offering me triple my rate if I could just find a way to get to her." "Maybe halftime at the Packer's game, but no promises."

I guess if the magic was in the sauce, you could just bottle it, brand it as "Ditk Juice," and sell it to those you didn't want to have "appointments" for. I mean...maybe Rosie O'Donnell wants to get younger too...

What do I give a damn about what she wants. I would not be a place of public accommodation, having to serve any and all who approach me. No doubt also that I would have all the money I would ever need from the clients I choose to work with. Exploitation of female vanity would make me rich beyond my wildest dreams, and really, what would I need with money, all my needs would be gratefully supplied gratis.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

"Teri Hatcher you say." I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Pamela Anderson. It will be triple the standard rate and you will have to bring a fluffer from my approved list to at least the first three sessions, and that cost is totally on you. After that I believe we can talk about maintenance sessions at my normal rate, but only if I find you 'compelling' as a client." "I absolutely do not guarantee an ongoing commitment." "Now if you don't mind I will be hanging up now, Gemma is getting rather insistent."

 

[FUBAR]

Time travel

 

[JohnnyU]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

Your wife says speed is not a problem for you

 

[Otis]

Invisibility sounds great in theory, but do you REALLY want to know what people say about you when you're not in the room? Sounds like a curse to me. Ignorance is bliss.

Flash speed would be great. It would be so easy to go anywhere anytime. Lately I'm so impatient and frustrated getting place to place.

Superman flight would be cool too, if you can skip commercial flight, but I question what you would do about luggage. Seems like it would be a PIA to fly with all this crap. And then whenever you travel with the family, you still have to fly commercial. That's annoying. Teleporting I assume has all these same drawbacks.

Super strength probably doesn't come in handy often enough.

XRay vision? Unless there is a gambling mechanism I could defeat with this, it seems silly. Would it let me see the next cards in blackjack? If so, seems pretty good. The problem here is that after you clean out one or two casinos you'll probably just be banned for life.

One-time use of ability to see the future would be enough for me. Line up for one of those big powerball drawings and load up. Couple hundred MM, and you have the super power of never having to work or worry about anything money related ever again.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

'Why Ms. Beckinsale you know I am always willing to squeeze you and Ms. Hurley in for a group session. Don't forget to bring the outfits. Bye."

 

[sharptongued1]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

Ditkaless Wonders' response in 12 years when asked why he chose that super power:

I picked the super power 12 years ago when I was excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

More like, "Christy, I know you hate looking almost 30, but I already have appointments with Brooklyn and Adrianna this weekend. The only way I could fit this in is if you were willing to double up with one of them, and I'd hate to do this to Christy Brinkley but I would have to charge you double my regular rate." "Anyhow, call Ms. Lima or Ms. Decker's people and see if either of them is amenable, otherwise you will have to wait, next week is booked solid with Ms. Anniston, Ms. Bullock, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Saldano, and half the Sports illustrated swimsuit models who all want a bit of help before their photo shoots for the magazine get underway." "Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how to work Ms. Jolie into the schedule and Selena Gomez's people are offering me triple my rate if I could just find a way to get to her." "Maybe halftime at the Packer's game, but no promises."

I guess if the magic was in the sauce, you could just bottle it, brand it as "Ditk Juice," and sell it to those you didn't want to have "appointments" for. I mean...maybe Rosie O'Donnell wants to get younger too...

What do I give a damn about what she wants. I would not be a place of public accommodation, having to serve any and all who approach me. No doubt also that I would have all the money I would ever need from the clients I choose to work with. Exploitation of female vanity would make me rich beyond my wildest dreams, and really, what would I need with money, all my needs would be gratefully supplied gratis.

Or dead from one of their not-too-happy-about-the-situation spouses. Also, can you screw yourself to keep yourself young or are you immune to your own man chowder?

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

Ditkaless Wonders' response in 12 years when asked why he chose that super power:

I picked the super power 12 years ago when I was excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

More like, "Christy, I know you hate looking almost 30, but I already have appointments with Brooklyn and Adrianna this weekend. The only way I could fit this in is if you were willing to double up with one of them, and I'd hate to do this to Christy Brinkley but I would have to charge you double my regular rate." "Anyhow, call Ms. Lima or Ms. Decker's people and see if either of them is amenable, otherwise you will have to wait, next week is booked solid with Ms. Anniston, Ms. Bullock, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Saldano, and half the Sports illustrated swimsuit models who all want a bit of help before their photo shoots for the magazine get underway." "Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how to work Ms. Jolie into the schedule and Selena Gomez's people are offering me triple my rate if I could just find a way to get to her." "Maybe halftime at the Packer's game, but no promises."

I guess if the magic was in the sauce, you could just bottle it, brand it as "Ditk Juice," and sell it to those you didn't want to have "appointments" for. I mean...maybe Rosie O'Donnell wants to get younger too...

What do I give a damn about what she wants. I would not be a place of public accommodation, having to serve any and all who approach me. No doubt also that I would have all the money I would ever need from the clients I choose to work with. Exploitation of female vanity would make me rich beyond my wildest dreams, and really, what would I need with money, all my needs would be gratefully supplied gratis.

Or dead from one of their not-too-happy-about-the-situation spouses. Also, can you screw yourself to keep yourself young?

Really, Brad Pitt would be angry at me for turning the clock back on Angelia 15 years? Hell, I'd think he would be making the appointment.

 

[FUBAR]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

that's a reason I said time travel. buy some land, buy some stock, just enough to be set. I wouldn't want to outshine Warren Buffet but just enough to stay under the radar and live the good life.

 

[fred_1_15301]

Speed.

And I don't even need flash speed, just enough to win every Olympic speed event for 2 to 3 Olympics so I get rich enough

To never have to work again.

If you had just about any superpower at all, I'm pretty sure you could figure out a way to never have to work again. HTH

 

[skol asylum]

Telekinesis would be awesome.

 

[wikkidpissah]

TRUMPness

 

[sharptongued1]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

Ditkaless Wonders' response in 12 years when asked why he chose that super power:

I picked the super power 12 years ago when I was excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

More like, "Christy, I know you hate looking almost 30, but I already have appointments with Brooklyn and Adrianna this weekend. The only way I could fit this in is if you were willing to double up with one of them, and I'd hate to do this to Christy Brinkley but I would have to charge you double my regular rate." "Anyhow, call Ms. Lima or Ms. Decker's people and see if either of them is amenable, otherwise you will have to wait, next week is booked solid with Ms. Anniston, Ms. Bullock, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Saldano, and half the Sports illustrated swimsuit models who all want a bit of help before their photo shoots for the magazine get underway." "Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how to work Ms. Jolie into the schedule and Selena Gomez's people are offering me triple my rate if I could just find a way to get to her." "Maybe halftime at the Packer's game, but no promises."

I guess if the magic was in the sauce, you could just bottle it, brand it as "Ditk Juice," and sell it to those you didn't want to have "appointments" for. I mean...maybe Rosie O'Donnell wants to get younger too...

What do I give a damn about what she wants. I would not be a place of public accommodation, having to serve any and all who approach me. No doubt also that I would have all the money I would ever need from the clients I choose to work with. Exploitation of female vanity would make me rich beyond my wildest dreams, and really, what would I need with money, all my needs would be gratefully supplied gratis.

Or dead from one of their not-too-happy-about-the-situation spouses. Also, can you screw yourself to keep yourself young?

Really, Brad Pitt would be angry at me for turning the clock back on Angelia 15 years? Hell, I'd think he would be making the appointment.

Not necessarliy Pitt specifically; but it only takes one.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Fountain of youth penis. Any woman who gets some automatically is physically reduced in age 5 to 10% and increases her physical fitness by 1 to 4%.

Ditkaless Wonders' response in 12 years when asked why he chose that super power:

I picked the super power 12 years ago when I was excited about it, and proud of it.

Since Then the entire system and tons of people have screwed me, ruined it and made me hate it and society as a whole

More like, "Christy, I know you hate looking almost 30, but I already have appointments with Brooklyn and Adrianna this weekend. The only way I could fit this in is if you were willing to double up with one of them, and I'd hate to do this to Christy Brinkley but I would have to charge you double my regular rate." "Anyhow, call Ms. Lima or Ms. Decker's people and see if either of them is amenable, otherwise you will have to wait, next week is booked solid with Ms. Anniston, Ms. Bullock, Ms. Cruz, Ms. Saldano, and half the Sports illustrated swimsuit models who all want a bit of help before their photo shoots for the magazine get underway." "Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how to work Ms. Jolie into the schedule and Selena Gomez's people are offering me triple my rate if I could just find a way to get to her." "Maybe halftime at the Packer's game, but no promises."

I guess if the magic was in the sauce, you could just bottle it, brand it as "Ditk Juice," and sell it to those you didn't want to have "appointments" for. I mean...maybe Rosie O'Donnell wants to get younger too...

What do I give a damn about what she wants. I would not be a place of public accommodation, having to serve any and all who approach me. No doubt also that I would have all the money I would ever need from the clients I choose to work with. Exploitation of female vanity would make me rich beyond my wildest dreams, and really, what would I need with money, all my needs would be gratefully supplied gratis.

Or dead from one of their not-too-happy-about-the-situation spouses. Also, can you screw yourself to keep yourself young?

Really, Brad Pitt would be angry at me for turning the clock back on Angelia 15 years? Hell, I'd think he would be making the appointment.

Not necessarliy Pitt specifically; but it only takes one.

How would he get past my slavishly devoted Rhonda Rousey bodyguard?

 

[Pipes]

I've always been a fan of the jedi mind trick.

 

[Cjw_55106]

Invisibility sounds great in theory, but do you REALLY want to know what people say about you when you're not in the room? Sounds like a curse to me. Ignorance is bliss.

If iI had invisibility, I wouldnt waste my time trying to hear what people thought about me.

 

[kface]

The power to release people from their fear and ignorance

 

[(HULK)]

I've always been a fan of the jedi mind trick.

Seems pretty useful:

This is the penis you're looking for

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Vibrate through walls

you son of a....

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

1000 more wishes

Boom: Lawyered

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Time travel

If you run into yourself at a group urinal, be careful not to cross streams.

 

[lod01]

I'll go with Mind Control.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

"Why Mrs. Otis, what an unexpected surprise to hear from you."