EYLive
Footballguy
Yup. He just doesn't get it. Maybe it's the way he was raised or not raised, dunno.
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"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter No. 16
- Start date
EYLive
Footballguy
No one believes it's cultural. Don't blame it on culture. It's just one warped individual.
Once he used the word "haters", anything he said could pretty much be discarded.
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
Again, you guys are being a little hard on 16. Some of the stuff he's done is stupid (like barebacking chicks who do ATM), but people tend to do stupid stuff when they're young.
I agree that the CL thing was creepy, but I'm also assuming it was made up and he pulled the ripcord on that storyline after the trailer got negative reviews.
I agree that the CL thing was creepy, but I'm also assuming it was made up and he pulled the ripcord on that storyline after the trailer got negative reviews.
bonesman
Footballguy
Once you entered the state "Texas", anything you said could pretty much be discarded, partner.
You are seriously one witty dude. Must take you all day to come up with stuff like "haters" and repeating things back with one word changed.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
He's 27.'IvanKaramazov said:
Gr00vus
Footballguy
We're all over in the new MOP fishing trip now.UPdate?
No. 16
Footballguy
Eh. There are times I felt compelled to update, but I guess right now I'm just trying to ween myself from this thread to help deal with issues/problems relating to Alyssa like I did with the booze.UPdate?
Controller
Footballguy
You are just a few weeks away from getting that device out of your car. Then you can start fresh with new prospects. This should be a time for you to be looking forward, not back.Eh. There are times I felt compelled to update, but I guess right now I'm just trying to ween myself from this thread to help deal with issues/problems relating to Alyssa like I did with the booze.UPdate?
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
what's that?she get dumped by PT yet?Eh. There are times I felt compelled to update, but I guess right now I'm just trying to ween myself from this thread to help deal with issues/problems relating to Alyssa like I did with the booze.UPdate?
No. 16
Footballguy
Apparently not. I have to finish my DUI classes before I can go unrestricted.. so that ##### stays in until first week of December. Oh well.You are just a few weeks away from getting that device out of your car. Then you can start fresh with new prospects. This should be a time for you to be looking forward, not back.Eh. There are times I felt compelled to update, but I guess right now I'm just trying to ween myself from this thread to help deal with issues/problems relating to Alyssa like I did with the booze.UPdate?
Controller
Footballguy
I see what you did there. lofl
Grace Under Pressure
Footballguy
Post five in the thread. OP really could have shut it down right here, but the ensuing entertainment was definitely worth it.
No. 16
Footballguy
People have been asking for an update for the past couple of months and now I think is a good a time as any. I purposely held off updating for awhile because I started to use this thread as a crutch to resolve my issues with Alyssa. I began to feel like I couldn't make any decisions on my own because I always needed to seek the advice of the FFA. That's not what I wanted to be. A decent amount has happened since I last updated and I've made every decision good and bad on my own. I'm sure if I would have updated things real time it would have made for some interesting discussion, but I needed to deal with Alyssa by myself. However, now that things have settled down I felt it was fitting to post.
The last time I updated about Alyssa, we had spent the night at a hotel and the ensuing day together. We had said our good byes and that was going to be the last time I saw her. She sent me a couple messages that weekend, but when I didn't reply they stopped. For 2 weeks in September we had no contact with one another until...
I woke up one morning to a bunch of angry texts from here. She had seen pictures of me with some girls at a house party on Facebook (through mutual friends). At first, I was amused by the texts and her jealousy and I didn't reply, but the texts didn't stop and the conclusions and statements she made became more and more ridiculous. I couldn't take it anymore so I made the mistake of trying to reason with her and after that it was a wrap.....she had gotten me to react and respond. Now, the lines of communication were back open again.
Eventually, we started hanging out. We would spend our days off together and after work we would have dinner, etc. I knew she was still with the PT, but I rationalized hanging out with her by telling myself I scouting places to take future dates (which I really was doing). However, as time went on things started to fall back into place again... she was showing me affection, we were making out, and yes.... we were having sex again. Right around the first week of October, she told me she had broken up with PT while we were having dinner. I was happy with the news.
During the first 3 weeks of October, we spent a lot of time together. Our relationship felt like it was on the road to recovery, but then her hours at work began to decrease significantly... to the point she was only working 1 day a week. She was miserable not working. Then out of the blue she received a call from a hospital in Southern California to interview for a full time position. Despite knowing that it could mean her moving away, I gave her my support and wished her luck during the interview process.
I was so afraid that she would get the job. Her experience for a young nurse was great, she carries herself well, and people love her wherever she works. She was lock IMO to get the job but a few days later she was informed that she didn't get the position. I consoled her on her missing out on the job, but deep down inside I was
. However, the very next day another hospital in Southern California called to set up an interview. When she told me my heart sank. There was no way she would have 2 interviews and not get a job offer. I was right. They offered her the position and she accepted. She would be starting work in November... giving us roughly 2 weeks together.
We both knew this pretty much this would be the end of our relationship. No way we could make long distance work. I asked her to stay and look for a job around here. She said, "No" because she wanted to be closer to her family. She asked me to move with her to Southern California, but there was no way was I giving up my job and my family to chase someone who cheated on me. I wanted to make things work with her, but after what she did, she really needed to show me her commitment and to me that meant staying up here.
Those two weeks went by fast, but they told me a lot about who were are as people. I had lost her once before, so I could do it again. I just wanted to enjoy our time together up here in the Bay Area. Do all the things we wanted to do. Eat at our favorite restaurants one last time. Just make the best of what time we have left. Also, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was making one last ditch effort to convince her to stay. However, during this time I felt her becoming more distant to me again. I guess it was her way of dealing with the separation. Locking her feelings up back in a little box. We actually spent very little of those last two weeks together as she had paperwork, lab tests, and exams in order to be cleared to work. It was nothing like how I imagined spending our last two weeks together.
Our last night together I helped her pack, we had dinner, and spent the nigh together. The whole last night wasn't the emotional outburst I was expecting. I was sad for sure, but not like how I had expected. I actually wanted to feel something powerful take over me. I wanted to feel that punch in the gut sadness. The feeling that told me I was losing the love of my life, but it never came. Sure I cried, she cried too, but it felt nothing like how I felt when I typed the very first post in this thread almost a year ago.
The next morning I gave her one last kiss, hugged her, and she drove away. She still sends me texts now and then, which I do read and respond to, but I guess I've finally come to grips that she isn't the one. She's left me twice now. I would have to be a moron to ignore that. Oh and one last thing... I found out after she moved that she never really broke up with the PT!!
So yah.... #### that. Good luck and good riddance.
I'm in a good place right now. My IID will come out soon, meaning I can actually pursue chicks without feeling self conscious. I've had a year to perfect my iDating profile, so I'm ready to give it a shot. I'm not expecting instant #####, but you have no idea how good it feels to get rid of that ####### IID.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
The last time I updated about Alyssa, we had spent the night at a hotel and the ensuing day together. We had said our good byes and that was going to be the last time I saw her. She sent me a couple messages that weekend, but when I didn't reply they stopped. For 2 weeks in September we had no contact with one another until...
I woke up one morning to a bunch of angry texts from here. She had seen pictures of me with some girls at a house party on Facebook (through mutual friends). At first, I was amused by the texts and her jealousy and I didn't reply, but the texts didn't stop and the conclusions and statements she made became more and more ridiculous. I couldn't take it anymore so I made the mistake of trying to reason with her and after that it was a wrap.....she had gotten me to react and respond. Now, the lines of communication were back open again.
Eventually, we started hanging out. We would spend our days off together and after work we would have dinner, etc. I knew she was still with the PT, but I rationalized hanging out with her by telling myself I scouting places to take future dates (which I really was doing). However, as time went on things started to fall back into place again... she was showing me affection, we were making out, and yes.... we were having sex again. Right around the first week of October, she told me she had broken up with PT while we were having dinner. I was happy with the news.
During the first 3 weeks of October, we spent a lot of time together. Our relationship felt like it was on the road to recovery, but then her hours at work began to decrease significantly... to the point she was only working 1 day a week. She was miserable not working. Then out of the blue she received a call from a hospital in Southern California to interview for a full time position. Despite knowing that it could mean her moving away, I gave her my support and wished her luck during the interview process.
I was so afraid that she would get the job. Her experience for a young nurse was great, she carries herself well, and people love her wherever she works. She was lock IMO to get the job but a few days later she was informed that she didn't get the position. I consoled her on her missing out on the job, but deep down inside I was
. However, the very next day another hospital in Southern California called to set up an interview. When she told me my heart sank. There was no way she would have 2 interviews and not get a job offer. I was right. They offered her the position and she accepted. She would be starting work in November... giving us roughly 2 weeks together.We both knew this pretty much this would be the end of our relationship. No way we could make long distance work. I asked her to stay and look for a job around here. She said, "No" because she wanted to be closer to her family. She asked me to move with her to Southern California, but there was no way was I giving up my job and my family to chase someone who cheated on me. I wanted to make things work with her, but after what she did, she really needed to show me her commitment and to me that meant staying up here.
Those two weeks went by fast, but they told me a lot about who were are as people. I had lost her once before, so I could do it again. I just wanted to enjoy our time together up here in the Bay Area. Do all the things we wanted to do. Eat at our favorite restaurants one last time. Just make the best of what time we have left. Also, I'd be lying if I didn't admit I was making one last ditch effort to convince her to stay. However, during this time I felt her becoming more distant to me again. I guess it was her way of dealing with the separation. Locking her feelings up back in a little box. We actually spent very little of those last two weeks together as she had paperwork, lab tests, and exams in order to be cleared to work. It was nothing like how I imagined spending our last two weeks together.
Our last night together I helped her pack, we had dinner, and spent the nigh together. The whole last night wasn't the emotional outburst I was expecting. I was sad for sure, but not like how I had expected. I actually wanted to feel something powerful take over me. I wanted to feel that punch in the gut sadness. The feeling that told me I was losing the love of my life, but it never came. Sure I cried, she cried too, but it felt nothing like how I felt when I typed the very first post in this thread almost a year ago.
The next morning I gave her one last kiss, hugged her, and she drove away. She still sends me texts now and then, which I do read and respond to, but I guess I've finally come to grips that she isn't the one. She's left me twice now. I would have to be a moron to ignore that. Oh and one last thing... I found out after she moved that she never really broke up with the PT!!
So yah.... #### that. Good luck and good riddance.
I'm in a good place right now. My IID will come out soon, meaning I can actually pursue chicks without feeling self conscious. I've had a year to perfect my iDating profile, so I'm ready to give it a shot. I'm not expecting instant #####, but you have no idea how good it feels to get rid of that ####### IID.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
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gianmarco
Footballguy
Interesting update. For the first time, it seems as if you've really come to grips with the situation and might be moving on. Despite the advice here trying to help, you needed to experience it for yourself and just took a long time getting there. You'll look back and see this job and her moving away is one of the best things to happen to you.
Good luck and hopefully this time it really is for good and you can move on.
Good luck and hopefully this time it really is for good and you can move on.
Zegras11
Footballguy
My money is on his move to LA. He will soon get a job offer down there via text.
Controller
Footballguy
Good luck, 16. And happy hunting, once the device is removed from your car. It's good to hear that you have gained perspective and some "closure".
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
Please be sure to update again when you find an apartment in Southern California.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
I live in SoCal. Give me her number. 
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
I hope after learning that she lied to you and hadn't really broken up with PT, yoiu can finally see this situation for what it is and move on.
If you can't/won't/don't, though... prepare for another kick in the nuts. And when that happens, and you finally decide to exact your revenge, I'll be here.
If you can't/won't/don't, though... prepare for another kick in the nuts. And when that happens, and you finally decide to exact your revenge, I'll be here.
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
Yes. This is clearly the most likely scenario.
comfortably numb
Footballguy
Unfortunately I think he might go through this again. we are all positive that is she moved back up north and wanted to get back together with him he would jump, so while he feels he ended things amicably and on any good note I think the fact is he didn't learn the more valuable lessons to carry for the next relationships. Which means he might be dealing with the same thing all over again with someone else
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
Any sweet corpulent ladies yet? It's still what you need more than anything.
LongDuckDong
Footballguy
16 - I realize you're not really looking for feedback here, and appreciate that you stopped posting because you needed to figure your own crap out. I only have one thing for you to consider. Up to you to do so.
So here's my question: I assume you asked her at some point what her intentions were. And I assume she said that she had dumped PT and was trying to rebuild things with you. While in reality she was looking to move away (for understandable reasons). When you found this out you pretended it didn't bother you (this nonsense about support and wishing luck while immediately afterwards asking her to stay and not take the job). Then she asks you to come with her...but you find out later she never dumped PT and in essence had you quit your job for you would have ended up tearing up your life for someone who wasn't going to be with you anyways..So two points:1. You're an emotional, expressive guy. This is fantastic. But you seem to fear dealing with bad news...doesn't seem you really confront situations well. So you need someone who doesn't take advantage of that. There are plenty of women who want that in a partner. "Alyssa" ain't one of them.2. I bet if I counted in this thread, this woman has lied to you (only the times you report it here) probably 200 times. Thats probably conservative. Honestly, ignoring the level of disrespect that shows, its honestly freaking abusive. You have been given the gift of her leaving. Assuming this isnt a fishing trip, please be grateful for that gift. She could have stayed where you were and done far worse. I wish you luck. I suspect you will look back at 2012 as a year that you learned a lot about yourself, and what you need and deserve in your life.That is all.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
seriously
No. 16
Footballguy
Thanks for the advice and that's pretty much what I have realized. Now that she's hundreds of miles away instead of a 10 minute drive should make things a whole lot easier. Especially, since we don't have to run into each other through all of our mutual friends. Another big roadblock I had to get through was that I shouldn't be the one to "save her" from herself and that I should stop trying to understand why she did what she did. I thought we were setup for a nice life as young professionals with good paying and stable careers. Our families got along and loved each of us. I thought we had a great relationship for nearly 7 years. We went through all the hard work of going to college and finding jobs and we were right there about to begin the next phase in life and she throws it all away for.... some body builder without a college degree working at some gym as a PT. I guess if that's what she wants, then I just have to let it be. What has damaged me more is the thought of believing I knew who she was after all these years, only to find out she's a completely different person. Oh well, I'm ready for the next chapter in my life. I just hope the DUI doesn't mess up my career.'LongDuckDong said:
jomar
Footballguy
You're coming across like a moron lately.
1) Expecting her to give up a potential job that she needs is extremely selfish. She didn't move to NY. She moved to Southern California - how far is that? Four, five hours? You can make that work if you are truly in love with her.
2) Talking about good jobs and salaries and saying "she throws it all away for.... some body builder without a college degree working at some gym as a PT" is sad. It's not all about money and status. If it is, you probably need to re-evaluate what is important to you. Who cares if he has a college degree? Most of my friends don't have college degrees. You know what? I think everyone of them is happier than those of us with degrees.
1) Expecting her to give up a potential job that she needs is extremely selfish. She didn't move to NY. She moved to Southern California - how far is that? Four, five hours? You can make that work if you are truly in love with her.
2) Talking about good jobs and salaries and saying "she throws it all away for.... some body builder without a college degree working at some gym as a PT" is sad. It's not all about money and status. If it is, you probably need to re-evaluate what is important to you. Who cares if he has a college degree? Most of my friends don't have college degrees. You know what? I think everyone of them is happier than those of us with degrees.
Please See Mine
Footballguy
I've finally come to grips with the fact that this is totally 
No. 16
Footballguy
In the off chance you're just not fishing for a reaction, I'll respond.About her job. With her career and experience she wouldn't have any trouble finding a job here in the Bay Area if she looked here. I even showed her hospitals that are hiring. She also could have gone back and worked through her old registry company to pick up extra shifts in the meantime while she found a more stable position here. So it's not like moving away was her only option. In fact nurses make about $10 more per hour here in the Bay Area compared to Southern California.It's not cross country, but a long distance relationship is not conductive to repairing a relationship that has been shattered by cheating and lying. It's just not going to work out and I've come to accept that. Neither of us is willing to do the work to make it work. Regarding the college degree/status/job thing. I understand money and status isn't the only thing, but it is an important part in maintaining a solid relationship. Having two stable careers can only help a relationship. I don't mean to put anyone down without a college degree because you can be successful without one, but I was speaking specifically about the PT since it seems he has no motivation and is content with Alyssa taking care of him. Friends and family have told me Alyssa always pays for things and that he pretty much expects her to. So I bring that up because I would have taken care if Alyssa, instead of her having to take care of me. In the end it is what it is. She has made her decisions. I truly hope she is happy and has a great life. Now I just need to focus on mine.
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Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Just go bang some fat chicks already and post pics of your skank of an ex.
mr fancypants
Footballguy
What could possibly go wrong here. Hilarity ensues.
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
My irony meter couldn't handle this surge and now needs to be sent in for repairs. Thanks a lot.
