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"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter No. 16
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No. 16
Footballguy
A place to vent and hear different opinions. Aside from the dog and this current twist, I've pretty much followed what the FFA has advised. I never contacted her parents, I blocked her number, and stayed as far away as possible. Also, I keep posting to keep you guys in the loop. I feel everyone has invested so much into this story that to stop updating would be unfair to you all. Like I said, I pretty much knew this would be the response I would get after my latest update. I was ready to never update again, but I felt it was my duty to let you guys know what's up. Hell, I could have left out the part that she went on another vacation with the PT... but I didn't.'Dr. Awesome said:
Everything in here is really happening in my life. You guys are welcome to offer advice, make jokes, or never open this thread again. Just as long as this isn't really affecting my real life, I'll keep updating and it's up to you guys to decide what to do with it.
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No. 16
Footballguy
Honestly, no one's really given me advice. I guess I'm good at making everything seem fine. My brother is really the only one who has ever told me to stay away from her and maybe because he's the only one I have really expressed my true feelings too. I never really discussed the ex much with my GB b/c of the obvious ties to the ex. Plus, early on he was an advocate of us getting back together and as time moved forward he would just get me to stop talking about the ex if the topic ever switched to her. The rest of my friends are pretty useless in this situation as none of them have ever been broken up with. They've been the one breaking up with women. Ditto for my parents.What about the time between the breakup up until now? Was their advice more or less the same as you got in this thread? I'm curious because while I can understand ignoring random internet dudes regardless of how good their advice is, I can't understand ignoring a friend in your face giving the same advice.None of my friend's have really said much as they don't know any of this is happening right now.'placebo said:'Rick James said:His friends have #### the bed here not smacking some sense into him and keeping him away from this girl. Et tu, Rusty? Or they tried to and 16 is literally a brick wall.
jwb
Footballguy
I wonder what their plans are tonight...
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
No you didn't. Next time you kiss her, make sure to block out the image of the PT's Gatorade spurting into that very mouth. Good times.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Fair enough. I got back with my ex after she cheated on me. The thread is somewhere here in the ffa. I rightly took a lot of ridicule. It ended in a horrific manner with police involvement and me needing surgery.
But hell, at least she wasn't still communicating and banging the guy. If your ex can't even take that step you should cut all ties. And I at least nailed a lot of women after we split. I missed my ex. Hell, I still miss my ex and we broke up two years ago. But I miss a version of her that no longer exists. You will someday realize the woman you love is gone for good. Version 2.0 isn't the same. You can't go home again.She got lured you back because she's treating you like her plaything (and not the fun kind). Whether she realizes it or not, she's using you so she can feel better about herself. You pretending you moved on made her feel even worse. So I'll say this - you need to keep pretending you've moved on. If IF IF IF you two get back together it'll happen with her wanting you. And ONLY with her wanting you. Not the other way around. How do you make her want you? Pretend you're a catch other women are fighting over. How do you pretend you're a catch other women are fighting over? Go on dates. Worst case scenario - you go on dates. You hate them all and they hate you. Nothing goes anywhere, blow some money on drinks, but you get some fun stories to share with the ffa and memories to last a lifetime. Best case scenario? You unexpectedly meet your future wife. Most realistic scenario? You nail a couple of floozies, have a few more women flee from your advances, and don't give a damn about any of them.
And since you're going down the road of your ex anyway, it's time to bring out the kink. If you have other options she'll be more aggressive in her pursuit of you. It'll be a matter of time before she nails you. Then start having fun. Buy a pair of leather handcuffs and make her wear 'em out in public with you (chain removed, if you wish). Go with a butt plug. Require a second lady to join you in the bedroom. Nipple clamps, electro sex therapy. Seriously, you're making a mistake getting with her, but if you're going to go down this road, do it properly. Either your ex will enjoy it all and you'll have the foundation of a freaky fun relationship, or things will end at some point and you'll have used her as your sexual training wheels.
Well that says it all, doesn't it? It's too bad you didn't have more of a support group on this.Honestly, no one's really given me advice. I guess I'm good at making everything seem fine. My brother is really the only one who has ever told me to stay away from her and maybe because he's the only one I have really expressed my true feelings too. I never really discussed the ex much with my GB b/c of the obvious ties to the ex. Plus, early on he was an advocate of us getting back together and as time moved forward he would just get me to stop talking about the ex if the topic ever switched to her.What about the time between the breakup up until now? Was their advice more or less the same as you got in this thread? I'm curious because while I can understand ignoring random internet dudes regardless of how good their advice is, I can't understand ignoring a friend in your face giving the same advice.None of my friend's have really said much as they don't know any of this is happening right now.'placebo said:'Rick James said:
The rest of my friends are pretty useless in this situation as none of them have ever been broken up with. They've been the one breaking up with women. Ditto for my parents.
No. 16
Footballguy
I guess this is my test to see if I can ever trust her at all again. See if things will ever be the same. It's a huge ####in test, but I guess I like to torture myself.I have to admit to one lie in this thread. I had known about the PT from the very beginning, she told me when I asked why was she breaking up with me. She told me about the date she went on, etc. How he was willing to do outdoors stuff, religious, etc. She wasn't always forthcoming, but I have to give her credit for being truthful.
Before she left she promised me that she would do nothing with the PT anymore and that she would sever all ties with him by the time she came back to the Bay Area. She also promised that she would email me every night (since they were international she couldn't use her phone) and she has. We were even exchanging texts up until she boarded the plane and prior to that she would sneak out to FaceTime/talk on the phone with me when she could. It's kind of like the roles have reversed now.
We'll see how things shake out in time. In the meantime, I'll continue doing what I've been doing. This weekend I have a rafting trip planned with a group of friends. We'll see what I can pull off there.
No. 16
Footballguy
This is the plan. Like I said, I'm proceeding with caution and will continue to do what I have been doing.Fair enough. I got back with my ex after she cheated on me. The thread is somewhere here in the ffa. I rightly took a lot of ridicule. It ended in a horrific manner with police involvement and me needing surgery.
She got lured you back because she's treating you like her plaything (and not the fun kind). Whether she realizes it or not, she's using you so she can feel better about herself. You pretending you moved on made her feel even worse. So I'll say this - you need to keep pretending you've moved on. If IF IF IF you two get back together it'll happen with her wanting you. And ONLY with her wanting you. Not the other way around. How do you make her want you? Pretend you're a catch other women are fighting over. How do you pretend you're a catch other women are fighting over? Go on dates. Worst case scenario - you go on dates. You hate them all and they hate you. Nothing goes anywhere, blow some money on drinks, but you get some fun stories to share with the ffa and memories to last a lifetime. Best case scenario? You unexpectedly meet your future wife. Most realistic scenario? You nail a couple of floozies, have a few more women flee from your advances, and don't give a damn about any of them.
And since you're going down the road of your ex anyway, it's time to bring out the kink. If you have other options she'll be more aggressive in her pursuit of you. It'll be a matter of time before she nails you. Then start having fun. Buy a pair of leather handcuffs and make her wear 'em out in public with you (chain removed, if you wish). Go with a butt plug. Require a second lady to join you in the bedroom. Nipple clamps, electro sex therapy. Seriously, you're making a mistake getting with her, but if you're going to go down this road, do it properly. Either your ex will enjoy it all and you'll have the foundation of a freaky fun relationship, or things will end at some point and you'll have used her as your sexual training wheels.
Quint
Footballguy
hmmm. kinda the lynchpin to the whole story. sounds to me like you decided to let her have some fun and not worry about it because you thought she'd never leave you. and she did. and you felt like a heel for not taking it seriously. and you're feeling guilty for being a crappy boyfriend. and that's why is so easy for you to say "how high" when she asks you to jump. and why you've already forgiven her for what's she's done. and why there was never a time when you really were going to let her go. and why you'll be back together before the NFL season starts.
have fun not going to Vegas.
Tabasco Red
Footballguy
Your plans so far have been complete and utter failures. What makes you think this one will work? Haven't you realized that continuing to do what your doing isn't working?You're not going to save her. You can't fix her. There's no Disney ending to this story. Just walk away. Or you can be a doormat until she's bored with you again.
sbonomo
Footballguy
Id they dont beat the #### out of you when they find out they are not real friends....None of my friend's have really said much as they don't know any of this is happening right now.'placebo said:'Rick James said:
Tabasco Red
Footballguy
Right. And she's the one worried about STD's?!?
No. 16
Footballguy
Don't think it changes the fact that for a month she was texting/talking to this guy and went on a couple of dates with him when she went back home to "visit family".
She swears that she never did anything with him while we were together.
jomar
Footballguy
You won't be doing anything but going into relationship mode with this chick. There will be no other dates, no Vegas. Hell, you'll be lucky to make your rafting trip. Just pitiful.
Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you believe this?
Quint
Footballguy
this coming from the woman who was "...for a month...was texting/talking to this guy and went on a couple of dates with him when she went back home to 'visit family.'"right. sounds like she's been completely transparent for quite some time now. no reason not to believe her.
serious question: where did all the anger and resentment from six months ago disappear to? at what point did you decided to forgive her for cheating on you - because that's what she was doing - and decide that you could swallow your pride to take her back?
Quint
Footballguy
on a scale of 1 - 10 i'd guess it's a 12 pack of Magnum condoms with a side of AstroGlide.
Ned
Footballguy
No. 16
Footballguy
The anger and resentment was put away a long time ago because it just made me unhappy with life. Being angry all the time and resenting her...just made me miserable and negative. I probably forgave her around the same time because so I didn't have to carry the negativity around. I wish I could tell you the exact date, time, or event that triggered it but it kind of just happened. There was a discussion about this in the thread somewhere, but for awhile now I've been at peace with my life and generally happy for the most part. That's why I didn't have very many updates for a long time. I wasn't out "hunting" for women or trying to get drunk every day or every weekend for that matter. I was just living life. Go to work, go out on my days off, workout, play sports, and hang out with my buddies. On my downtime by myself I would read books: MMSL, Bang, Day Bang, Starting Strength, etc. I guess that's why I'm willing to give this another try...I already know I can be fairly happy by myself. Now when did I decided I could swallow my pride and take her back?
Really, just during our talk in the car last week. For the first time in a long time, I felt that she finally "snapped back to reality" and she was "herself" again. We'll see. I don't expect anything anymore, but to just see where this goes.
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Dragons
Delusions of Grandeur
On one level I can understand how this makes you feel a bit more empowered. You can win her back from the PT. But, my god, just think about what you're saying. You're the fling against her currently BF, who she cheated on you with. That shouldn't make you feel better!
Tabasco Red
Footballguy
Wasn't he the fling from her previous boyfriend too? She's cheated on pre-bf, No. 16, and PT in her last 3 relationships. But don't worry, he's got a plan.
simmonjm
Footballguy
Your lying to yourself. You forgave or let go because you were hitting up chicks of far less quality and suddenly you only remembered the good things about her and her hot body. This situation is like a hangover you can wake up feeling sick and ride it out or you can drink again and find yourself in the same situation tomorrow.
boots11234
Footballguy
The only shape I can promise you is that her ### canal is in the shape of PT's ####.'No. 16 said:
comfortably numb
Footballguy
'Dr. Awesome said:
16, you will cut bait when Alyssa tells you it's OK to cut bait
comfortably numb
Footballguy
cstu
Footballguy
No.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
I'm buying drinks if you bring Alyssa for cocktails 9/10. I'm staying at the embarcadero Hyatt.
No. 16
Footballguy
Unless you hook up with only virgins you're always tasting another man's sloppy seconds.
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I have to give major props out to 16 and wish him the best of luck. It has ALWAYS been abundantly clear that his end game was to end back up with this woman. Be honest with yourself and admit that was what you have been feeling from the beginning. The reason you didn't go all-in slump busting is that there was always a part of you that wished this result would happen. You chose not to completely block her texts, you went out hoping the stories would get back to her and you wanted to look your best to show her what you missed. You ignored the collective wisdom of the ffa because that wasn't consistent with your end goal, to end up here. You weren't ready to let to of this relationship, and now you have a chance to get it back,
I think it is a major mistake to get back together with the whore. Go back and reread some of your posts from early on. This girl threw away your relationship to bang a PT, and possibly other guys. How can you be a man and look at yourself in the mirror and let her get away with that? She was never pot-committed as you say. She could have always gotten out of the situation but she chose not to. How ridiculous is it that she is going on vacation with him RIGHT NOW. The girl doesn't seem completely stable and I don't see how you can ever trust her again.
You got what you wanted and hope it works out for you. You are making a MAJOR mistake in even letting this get to this point, but I guess life is about making your own mistakes and moving on. But don't try to justify this to the FFA or your friends as there is no excuse for what she did and you need to grow a pair and experience life.
Best of wishes and hope it works out. You have completely ignored the collective advice here so far, so why would this situation be any different.
I think it is a major mistake to get back together with the whore. Go back and reread some of your posts from early on. This girl threw away your relationship to bang a PT, and possibly other guys. How can you be a man and look at yourself in the mirror and let her get away with that? She was never pot-committed as you say. She could have always gotten out of the situation but she chose not to. How ridiculous is it that she is going on vacation with him RIGHT NOW. The girl doesn't seem completely stable and I don't see how you can ever trust her again.
You got what you wanted and hope it works out for you. You are making a MAJOR mistake in even letting this get to this point, but I guess life is about making your own mistakes and moving on. But don't try to justify this to the FFA or your friends as there is no excuse for what she did and you need to grow a pair and experience life.
Best of wishes and hope it works out. You have completely ignored the collective advice here so far, so why would this situation be any different.
jamny
Footballguy
'No. 16 said:
Ned
Footballguy
Surprised it took this long for this.
belljr
Footballguy
Question: Do you fellas really "get off" on 3rd base (finger pop) if that's all you get? Sure when I was young that was awesome but now unless it's leading up to something else - I don't see the point, besides having my friends sniff my fingers.We were at a seedy strip club and and my buddy was raving about how the back room was very hands on. He couldn't stop talking about how he finger popped one of the girls.. I asked if he got a BJ or a handy and he said no? I said Congrats, you paid her to get her off and you got nothing out of the deal... he wasn't as excited after that but he thought I was wrong
Maybe it's me/
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Arizona Ron
Footballguy
Rick James
Footballguy
this thread needs more EvilGrin
Evilgrin 72
Distributor of Pain
This is really the whole thing boiled down to one salient point. Dr. Awesome is right - and there's roughly a 99% chance that you'll come to this exact realization, whether it's in 2 days, 2 weeks, 2 months, or 2 years. Sure, there's a remote chance that things will work out, but they virtually never do. Eventually, you're going to need to move on, and you're just delaying that. Someday, you're almost guaranteed to look back and wonder what in God's name you were thinking. Every time the girl takes a dump, you're going to think she's having phone sex with some dude. You'll picture him making fist-kabobs while she drops wolfbait. God forbid she ever has to work late. Your head will be filled with images of her jacking off the entire Oakland A's team in the dugout simultaneously, running up and down the line like a plate-spinner to keep them all at attention, paying extra mind to Yoenis Cespedes' Cuban-grown mule. Your own personal nightmare is about to begin.That said, No. 16's already admitted that he's heard this point and that it's something he needs to do, and a lesson he needs to learn the hard way. Telling him he's lost his "man card" - do you really think he's going to care about that? Calling him names isn't helping anything. When he's staring into her soulless eyes and kissing her penis-abused lips, is he really going to be wondering : "What would placebo think about this?" We need to support him in whatever he wants to do, and be here to catch him when he falls. THAT'S when we make fun of him, not now.#16 - Godspeed, my friend. Just remember, the dog pictures. After you move back in with her, when you want her out, take those photos. Only this time, you don't mail them to her, you put them in a folder marked "Private" on the computer, then "accidentally" leave that folder open when you go to work one day. By the time you get home, both she and the dog will be gone.
johnnycakes
Footballguy
xulf
Footballguy
Here's the problem I see, and maybe it is just how I would react, but I could never let it go. I'm stubborn and petty, maybe you aren't. But it would eat at me forever, I would bring it up in all "huge" arguments we had and I would make sure she would be reminded of it if she started getting too big for her britches. It would lead to her leaving me and then you are back at square one, heart-broken again and dumped again.
Ray Karpis
Footballguy
:thunderousapplause:
