"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo (1 Viewer)

[bushdocda]

No 16 your perspective is wrong from the jump. You didn't 'let her go', she cheated and left you. You didn't dump her bc she already pulled the plug on you.

On the positive side, in the event she lets you see her for comfort and fingering soon, you can discuss Hawaiin coke dealers and her visit with the PT on your anniversary trip and tell her you have so much game you hired Susan.

 

[pats3in4]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

why are any of you wasting any breath telling this dude what to do?



there will be no more chicks.

this #### is fait accompli. every night he's sitting by the computer waiting for her nightly email, if he's at work, he checks his phone so often, his job performance is probably suffering.

i would wager some serious cabbage that he already has a present for her, once "she comes crawling back". something coral perhaps? the missed anniversary trip had already been re planned in his mind, but this time it'll be right he'll get his jake ryan damn it!!. aka, he'll get to bone her, not the PT*.



*full credit to EG.

 

[comfortably numb]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

 

[jamny]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

Of course you are right pats3in4, but that ain't happenin'

 

[comfortably numb]

Am I the only one who reads the subtitle

"UPDATE: Post #3206 - ID4 #3043 - Wedding END #2892 - Wedding P1"

and thinks No. 16 proposed?

I swear it gets me like 2-5 times a day

 

[BigJim®]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

It's actually great advice though. He clearly hasn't been allowed the space to get a rational perspective with this woman pulling all the stops to cause interaction. Hell, I'll admit I once left the country for 8 months when dealing with a crazy chick (much different situation from 16's). Smartest thing I ever did.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

Am I the only one who reads the subtitle

"UPDATE: Post #3206 - ID4 #3043 - Wedding END #2892 - Wedding P1"

and thinks No. 16 proposed?

I swear it gets me like 2-5 times a day

Just wait. That's what's coming.

 

[comfortably numb]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

It's actually great advice though. He clearly hasn't been allowed the space to get a rational perspective with this woman pulling all the stops to cause interaction. Hell, I'll admit I once left the country for 8 months when dealing with a crazy chick (much different situation from 16's). Smartest thing I ever did.

It is good advice but he hasn't been "apart" from her since she left, betweenweddings

friends

dogs

texts

parents

coral

he still has had some sort of involvement with her.

 

[Maude]

why are any of you wasting any breath telling this dude what to do?



there will be no more chicks.

this #### is fait accompli. every night he's sitting by the computer waiting for her nightly email, if he's at work, he checks his phone so often, his job performance is probably suffering.

i would wager some serious cabbage that he already has a present for her, once "she comes crawling back". something coral perhaps? the missed anniversary trip had already been re planned in his mind, but this time it'll be right he'll get his jake ryan damn it!!. aka, he'll get to bone her, not the PT*.



*full credit to EG.

Must admit that this is what I would do when I got dumped loooooong time ago, and tried to reconcile shortly thereafter. And to complete the story, finally broke ties completely, eventually met my wife, and couldn't be happier 10+ years later.

 

[jamny]

why are any of you wasting any breath telling this dude what to do?



there will be no more chicks.

this #### is fait accompli. every night he's sitting by the computer waiting for her nightly email, if he's at work, he checks his phone so often, his job performance is probably suffering.

i would wager some serious cabbage that he already has a present for her, once "she comes crawling back". something coral perhaps? the missed anniversary trip had already been re planned in his mind, but this time it'll be right he'll get his jake ryan damn it!!. aka, he'll get to bone her, not the PT*.



*full credit to EG.

Must admit that this is what I would do when I got dumped loooooong time ago, and tried to reconcile shortly thereafter. And to complete the story, finally broke ties completely, eventually met my wife, and couldn't be happier 10+ years later.

Dated my first girlfriend for 5 years (from age 15-20) She stayed at my apartment a lot towards the end although we didn't really live together. She started working in the city and we gradually started drifting apart. I wanted us to keep hanging out with our friends, she wanted to do more things in the city. I never knew for sure if she cheated but I did suspect it. I continued to believe that our breakup was mutual, even though it wasn't. I would always find ways to "just happen to bump into her" on the street. After a while I gave up and met my wife about a year later. About a year after that I actually did just bump into her on the street. We had a nice conversation. Not saying I didn't still feel something for her but I was happy as hell with my new girlfriend. That's the moment I really knew I made the right decision to give up trying to get her back.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

why are any of you wasting any breath telling this dude what to do?



there will be no more chicks.

this #### is fait accompli. every night he's sitting by the computer waiting for her nightly email, if he's at work, he checks his phone so often, his job performance is probably suffering.

i would wager some serious cabbage that he already has a present for her, once "she comes crawling back". something coral perhaps? the missed anniversary trip had already been re planned in his mind, but this time it'll be right he'll get his jake ryan damn it!!. aka, he'll get to bone her, not the PT*.



*full credit to EG.

Must admit that this is what I would do when I got dumped loooooong time ago, and tried to reconcile shortly thereafter. And to complete the story, finally broke ties completely, eventually met my wife, and couldn't be happier 10+ years later.

Dated my first girlfriend for 5 years (from age 15-20) She stayed at my apartment a lot towards the end although we didn't really live together. She started working in the city and we gradually started drifting apart. I wanted us to keep hanging out with our friends, she wanted to do more things in the city. I never knew for sure if she cheated but I did suspect it. I continued to believe that our breakup was mutual, even though it wasn't. I would always find ways to "just happen to bump into her" on the street. After a while I gave up and met my wife about a year later. About a year after that I actually did just bump into her on the street. We had a nice conversation. Not saying I didn't still feel something for her but I was happy as hell with my new girlfriend. That's the moment I really knew I made the right decision to give up trying to get her back.

Damn, that's almost identical to how my story goes. Dumped by longtime girlfriend from high school. Wallowed in misery. Resorted to pathetic attempts to bump into her "by coincidence." Finally moved on. Met future wife and happy thereafter. It just sucks to see No. 16 go down this road.

 

[BigJim®]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

It's actually great advice though. He clearly hasn't been allowed the space to get a rational perspective with this woman pulling all the stops to cause interaction. Hell, I'll admit I once left the country for 8 months when dealing with a crazy chick (much different situation from 16's). Smartest thing I ever did.

It is good advice but he hasn't been "apart" from her since she left, betweenweddings

friends

dogs

texts

parents

coral

he still has had some sort of involvement with her.

Exactly. And FWIW, this ex needs solitude as much if not moreso, not that she'll ever do it. Based on 16's description, she moved on to him right off a different relationship, and has effectively never been single, going from one stepping stone to the next with the next guy always lined up in advance of cutting ties. She's not capable of judging a relationship on it's own merits, but rather comparing Prospect A to Relationship B. That won't change, and 16 won't know he's on the chop block until someone else is lined up. I've known many women like this and they are for the most part all the same. Low self esteem, living duplicative lives, expert track coverers, and attractive enough to get away with it. Completely incapable of 5 minutes of loneliness. You need to run the opposite direction as fast as you can from a woman like that.

 

[jamny]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

It's actually great advice though. He clearly hasn't been allowed the space to get a rational perspective with this woman pulling all the stops to cause interaction. Hell, I'll admit I once left the country for 8 months when dealing with a crazy chick (much different situation from 16's). Smartest thing I ever did.

It is good advice but he hasn't been "apart" from her since she left, betweenweddings

friends

dogs

texts

parents

coral

he still has had some sort of involvement with her.

Exactly. And FWIW, this ex needs solitude as much if not moreso, not that she'll ever do it. Based on 16's description, she moved on to him right off a different relationship, and has effectively never been single, going from one stepping stone to the next with the next guy always lined up in advance of cutting ties. She's not capable of judging a relationship on it's own merits, but rather comparing X prospect A to relationship B. That won't change, and 16 won't know he's on the chop block until someone else is lined up. I've known many women like this and they are for the most part all the same. Low self esteem, living duplicative lives, expert track coverers, and attractive enough to get away with it. Completely incapable of 5 minutes of loneliness. You need to run the opposite direction as fast as you can from a woman like that.

great analysis.

 

[Kenny Blankenship]

why are any of you wasting any breath telling this dude what to do?



there will be no more chicks.

this #### is fait accompli. every night he's sitting by the computer waiting for her nightly email, if he's at work, he checks his phone so often, his job performance is probably suffering.

i would wager some serious cabbage that he already has a present for her, once "she comes crawling back". something coral perhaps? the missed anniversary trip had already been re planned in his mind, but this time it'll be right he'll get his jake ryan damn it!!. aka, he'll get to bone her, not the PT*.



*full credit to EG.

Must admit that this is what I would do when I got dumped loooooong time ago, and tried to reconcile shortly thereafter. And to complete the story, finally broke ties completely, eventually met my wife, and couldn't be happier 10+ years later.

Dated my first girlfriend for 5 years (from age 15-20) She stayed at my apartment a lot towards the end although we didn't really live together. She started working in the city and we gradually started drifting apart. I wanted us to keep hanging out with our friends, she wanted to do more things in the city. I never knew for sure if she cheated but I did suspect it. I continued to believe that our breakup was mutual, even though it wasn't. I would always find ways to "just happen to bump into her" on the street. After a while I gave up and met my wife about a year later. About a year after that I actually did just bump into her on the street. We had a nice conversation. Not saying I didn't still feel something for her but I was happy as hell with my new girlfriend. That's the moment I really knew I made the right decision to give up trying to get her back.

Damn, that's almost identical to how my story goes. Dumped by longtime girlfriend from high school. Wallowed in misery. Resorted to pathetic attempts to bump into her "by coincidence." Finally moved on. Met future wife and happy thereafter. It just sucks to see No. 16 go down this road.

Dont worry, he is young He will still be in his 20's when she cheats on him or leaves him again in a year.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

why are any of you wasting any breath telling this dude what to do?



there will be no more chicks.

this #### is fait accompli. every night he's sitting by the computer waiting for her nightly email, if he's at work, he checks his phone so often, his job performance is probably suffering.

i would wager some serious cabbage that he already has a present for her, once "she comes crawling back". something coral perhaps? the missed anniversary trip had already been re planned in his mind, but this time it'll be right he'll get his jake ryan damn it!!. aka, he'll get to bone her, not the PT*.



*full credit to EG.

Must admit that this is what I would do when I got dumped loooooong time ago, and tried to reconcile shortly thereafter. And to complete the story, finally broke ties completely, eventually met my wife, and couldn't be happier 10+ years later.

Dated my first girlfriend for 5 years (from age 15-20) She stayed at my apartment a lot towards the end although we didn't really live together. She started working in the city and we gradually started drifting apart. I wanted us to keep hanging out with our friends, she wanted to do more things in the city. I never knew for sure if she cheated but I did suspect it. I continued to believe that our breakup was mutual, even though it wasn't. I would always find ways to "just happen to bump into her" on the street. After a while I gave up and met my wife about a year later. About a year after that I actually did just bump into her on the street. We had a nice conversation. Not saying I didn't still feel something for her but I was happy as hell with my new girlfriend. That's the moment I really knew I made the right decision to give up trying to get her back.

Thank you, Dan Fogelberg.

 

[jamny]

why are any of you wasting any breath telling this dude what to do?



there will be no more chicks.

this #### is fait accompli. every night he's sitting by the computer waiting for her nightly email, if he's at work, he checks his phone so often, his job performance is probably suffering.

i would wager some serious cabbage that he already has a present for her, once "she comes crawling back". something coral perhaps? the missed anniversary trip had already been re planned in his mind, but this time it'll be right he'll get his jake ryan damn it!!. aka, he'll get to bone her, not the PT*.



*full credit to EG.

Must admit that this is what I would do when I got dumped loooooong time ago, and tried to reconcile shortly thereafter. And to complete the story, finally broke ties completely, eventually met my wife, and couldn't be happier 10+ years later.

Dated my first girlfriend for 5 years (from age 15-20) She stayed at my apartment a lot towards the end although we didn't really live together. She started working in the city and we gradually started drifting apart. I wanted us to keep hanging out with our friends, she wanted to do more things in the city. I never knew for sure if she cheated but I did suspect it. I continued to believe that our breakup was mutual, even though it wasn't. I would always find ways to "just happen to bump into her" on the street. After a while I gave up and met my wife about a year later. About a year after that I actually did just bump into her on the street. We had a nice conversation. Not saying I didn't still feel something for her but I was happy as hell with my new girlfriend. That's the moment I really knew I made the right decision to give up trying to get her back.

Thank you, Dan Fogelberg.

:finger:

 

[PitbullTD]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

It's actually great advice though. He clearly hasn't been allowed the space to get a rational perspective with this woman pulling all the stops to cause interaction. Hell, I'll admit I once left the country for 8 months when dealing with a crazy chick (much different situation from 16's). Smartest thing I ever did.

Is there a thread around here about this chick and the leaving the country?If not, please do start one.

 

[BigJim®]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

It's actually great advice though. He clearly hasn't been allowed the space to get a rational perspective with this woman pulling all the stops to cause interaction. Hell, I'll admit I once left the country for 8 months when dealing with a crazy chick (much different situation from 16's). Smartest thing I ever did.

Is there a thread around here about this chick and the leaving the country?If not, please do start one.

Not really worth it. Long story short, crazy attempted suicide after each of 2 attmpts by me to end the relationship, and I did not have the resolve I needed to stay free (mostly guilt of what might happen). Emotionally it was rough, finding her passed out with an empty bottle of pills the first time and slashed wrists the second. Just too much for a 23 year old mind. Three months after the 2nd, I enrolled in a study abroad college program, and two weeks in I cut the cord on a phone call from 6,000 miles away, with no way to be emotionally bamboozled. No way whatsoever for her to contact me. I ended up studying several broads, and came home 8 months later a free man with a free mind.

 

[Zow]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

It's actually great advice though. He clearly hasn't been allowed the space to get a rational perspective with this woman pulling all the stops to cause interaction. Hell, I'll admit I once left the country for 8 months when dealing with a crazy chick (much different situation from 16's). Smartest thing I ever did.

Is there a thread around here about this chick and the leaving the country?If not, please do start one.

Not really worth it. Long story short, crazy attempted suicide after each of 2 attmpts by me to end the relationship, and I did not have the resolve I needed to stay free (mostly guilt of what might happen). Emotionally it was rough, finding her passed out with an empty bottle of pills the first time and slashed wrists the second. Just too much for a 23 year old mind. Three months after the 2nd, I enrolled in a study abroad college program, and two weeks in I cut the cord on a phone call from 6,000 miles away, with no way to be emotionally bamboozled. No way whatsoever for her to contact me. I ended up studying several broads, and came home 8 months later a free man with a free mind.

Was she a Bennie?

 

[PitbullTD]

Wow my baby momma pulls that #### all the time.

I can definitely relate to the feeling sick and stuck and miserable.

I still go back every now and then. Has really ruined a lot of #### in my life over the past couple of years, including a marriage to a dime piece money ticket.

 

[Evilgrin 72]

Wow my baby momma pulls that #### all the time.I can definitely relate to the feeling sick and stuck and miserable.I still go back every now and then. Has really ruined a lot of #### in my life over the past couple of years, including a marriage to a dime piece money ticket.

 

[Quint]

Wow my baby momma pulls that #### all the time.

I can definitely relate to the feeling sick and stuck and miserable.

I still go back every now and then. Has really ruined a lot of #### in my life over the past couple of years, including a marriage to a dime piece money ticket.

very attractive, wealthy woman who supports her significant other financially?

 

[BigJim®]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

It's actually great advice though. He clearly hasn't been allowed the space to get a rational perspective with this woman pulling all the stops to cause interaction. Hell, I'll admit I once left the country for 8 months when dealing with a crazy chick (much different situation from 16's). Smartest thing I ever did.

Is there a thread around here about this chick and the leaving the country?If not, please do start one.

Not really worth it. Long story short, crazy attempted suicide after each of 2 attmpts by me to end the relationship, and I did not have the resolve I needed to stay free (mostly guilt of what might happen). Emotionally it was rough, finding her passed out with an empty bottle of pills the first time and slashed wrists the second. Just too much for a 23 year old mind. Three months after the 2nd, I enrolled in a study abroad college program, and two weeks in I cut the cord on a phone call from 6,000 miles away, with no way to be emotionally bamboozled. No way whatsoever for her to contact me. I ended up studying several broads, and came home 8 months later a free man with a free mind.

Was she a Bennie?

LOL, no but as a frshman I did have a one nighter with a Bennie who later attempted it (unrelated to me). I had crazy-radar in my late teens/20's for whatever reason.To Bucky86, no, she did not kill herself. She became pregnant by a different guy 4 months after I returned (and spurned her efforts to get back together). Bullet=dodged.

 

[PitbullTD]

Wow my baby momma pulls that #### all the time.

I can definitely relate to the feeling sick and stuck and miserable.

I still go back every now and then. Has really ruined a lot of #### in my life over the past couple of years, including a marriage to a dime piece money ticket.

very attractive, wealthy woman who supports her significant other financially?

She didn't support me, but yeah she made sweet money, and had a nice career, made it a lot easier on me when work slowed down during the winter season.

 

[bonesman]

welp... the FFA was right. I eat crow. I had 16's back and defended him saying he was over her... how could he not be after she gobbled the PT's #### and balls. You know they were gettin it crackin around 24:00:00 every night the past few months. The mental gymnastics you must be going through to even begin to forgive her for her betrayal would win gold. WTH.

 

[PitbullTD]

I find it amazing that this woman has mind ####ed him so hard he is now making excuses and justifying her transgressions.

She is good. Real good.

 

[sbonomo]

I find it amazing that this woman has mind ####ed him so hard he is now making excuses and justifying her transgressions.She is good. Real good.

His life sucked before, it will suck after even worse. There is nothing we can do to help him now. He is young, in 10 years he will look back at this train wreck and wish he had it all back. Part of growing up i guess, which he has a lot to do at this point.

 

[PitbullTD]

I'm starting to think that 16 outkicked his coverage when he got with alyssa, and that is why he will go back no matter what.

It's the only scenario I can play in my head where something like this story would take place.

We need a pic of this chick. I think 16 owes it to the grief counselors in this thread.

 

[fatness]

Am I the only one who reads the subtitle

"UPDATE: Post #3206 - ID4 #3043 - Wedding END #2892 - Wedding P1"

and thinks No. 16 proposed?

I swear it gets me like 2-5 times a day

Just wait. That's what's coming.

And the PT going along on the honeymoon.

 

[GroveDiesel]

How screwed up does your relationship have to be when Woz is giving you advice that makes sense and telling you you're an idiot?

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

What's with the religious aspect to the girlfriend? Is the PT more religious then you, are you not as religious and she likes religion? The missionary/vacation aspect is also confusing. Is she on a missionary or on a vacation? What are the sleeping arrangements, etc.? At a resort or a hostel, in a paradise or a slum? Would you normally be with her now or is this a type of "vacation" you personally wouldn't want to take? These are all potentially fundamental differences that aren't getting resolved between you two, even if she's done with the PT.

 

[No. 16]

What's with the religious aspect to the girlfriend? Is the PT more religious then you, are you not as religious and she likes religion? The missionary/vacation aspect is also confusing. Is she on a missionary or on a vacation? What are the sleeping arrangements, etc.? At a resort or a hostel, in a paradise or a slum? Would you normally be with her now or is this a type of "vacation" you personally wouldn't want to take? These are all potentially fundamental differences that aren't getting resolved between you two, even if she's done with the PT.

Group of 40 or so. 4 people to a hotel room.I guess she's trying to find where her spiritual beliefs are. When we met she was active in Catholic youth groups, etc. I like many who went to Catholic school my whole life have basically stopped practicing Catholicism once i got into college. Was never really an issue in our relationship, but there were times she asked if we could go to church and I didn't want to so we didn't go.New PT guy is supposedly active in the church. Who knows.

 

[Zow]

So he has a chance to be great in her presence at a feel-good religious function?

If this guy is at all smart he helps as many little orphans ss possible and takes more chastity vows than the Jonas brothers - and she will be back on him by the first night.

 

[GreatLakesMike]

Way too soon to entertain ideas of getting back together with her. Personally, I (and everyone else here) would have kicked her to the curb for good, but you're obviously not going to do that. At *least* give yourself a lot of time apart from her...talking a few years minimum. You'll need that much time to gain some much needed clarity on what happened. If you're meant to be together, you'll find out then as well.

It's actually great advice though. He clearly hasn't been allowed the space to get a rational perspective with this woman pulling all the stops to cause interaction. Hell, I'll admit I once left the country for 8 months when dealing with a crazy chick (much different situation from 16's). Smartest thing I ever did.

Is there a thread around here about this chick and the leaving the country?If not, please do start one.

Not really worth it. Long story short, crazy attempted suicide after each of 2 attmpts by me to end the relationship, and I did not have the resolve I needed to stay free (mostly guilt of what might happen). Emotionally it was rough, finding her passed out with an empty bottle of pills the first time and slashed wrists the second. Just too much for a 23 year old mind. Three months after the 2nd, I enrolled in a study abroad college program, and two weeks in I cut the cord on a phone call from 6,000 miles away, with no way to be emotionally bamboozled. No way whatsoever for her to contact me. I ended up studying several broads, and came home 8 months later a free man with a free mind.

You really must be, "BigJim."

 

[The Z Machine]

You're an absolute imbecile, 16. This is the most ridiculous story of spineless self-loathing that I have ever read. I'm sure glad that when I was in your situation, a) I had better friends, and b) I'm not a p.u.s.s.y like you.

 

[johnnycakes]

You're an absolute imbecile, 16. This is the most ridiculous story of spineless self-loathing that I have ever read. I'm sure glad that when I was in your situation, a) I had better friends, and b) I'm not a p.u.s.s.y like you.

enough of this nonsense. #### or get off the pot already.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

If you want her (you shouldn't), go after her with a full head of steam. None of this guarded heart girly stuff you're doing. Make bold moves to win her heart. Be aggressive and make the first move. It's a huge, huge, HUGE mistake. But since you're hellbent on making it, at least do it right.

 

[PitbullTD]

If you want her (you shouldn't), go after her with a full head of steam. None of this guarded heart girly stuff you're doing. Make bold moves to win her heart. Be aggressive and make the first move. It's a huge, huge, HUGE mistake. But since you're hellbent on making it, at least do it right.

I don't think he's got a guarded heart at all. His posts reek of trying to convince himself.

 

[cstu]

What's with the religious aspect to the girlfriend? Is the PT more religious then you, are you not as religious and she likes religion? The missionary/vacation aspect is also confusing. Is she on a missionary or on a vacation? What are the sleeping arrangements, etc.? At a resort or a hostel, in a paradise or a slum? Would you normally be with her now or is this a type of "vacation" you personally wouldn't want to take? These are all potentially fundamental differences that aren't getting resolved between you two, even if she's done with the PT.

Group of 40 or so. 4 people to a hotel room.I guess she's trying to find where her spiritual beliefs are. When we met she was active in Catholic youth groups, etc. I like many who went to Catholic school my whole life have basically stopped practicing Catholicism once i got into college. Was never really an issue in our relationship, but there were times she asked if we could go to church and I didn't want to so we didn't go.New PT guy is supposedly active in the church. Who knows.

Alyssa - "I'm trying to find my spiritual belief"PT - "It's down there somewhere, let me take another look."

 

[Zow]

He isn't changing his mind anytime soon. He is looking for any glimmer of positive encforcement for being with her again. I've been there and many others also have too. Impossible to change his mind now and he will look back in s few years and see his errors.

That said, since you're pursuing this, only thing o can advise (and did before) is to make sure that when you get the chance you absolutely take over in bed. Easiest and fastest to way get your pride back. If she ain't sleeping w you and you try to "make love" (this was my mistake when I got to sleep with the wozex like 6 months after the breakup when it was clearly over in her eyes and I stupidly was passing up a chance to have casual sex with her for the immediate future) you're going to regret it. You do it this way and she will always at least respect you. Sometimes leaving a girl sore is the best way to leave a lasting effect on her when you know it's going to end badly.

 

[zed2283]

Exactly. And FWIW, this ex needs solitude as much if not moreso, not that she'll ever do it. Based on 16's description, she moved on to him right off a different relationship, and has effectively never been single, going from one stepping stone to the next with the next guy always lined up in advance of cutting ties. She's not capable of judging a relationship on it's own merits, but rather comparing Prospect A to Relationship B. That won't change, and 16 won't know he's on the chop block until someone else is lined up. I've known many women like this and they are for the most part all the same. Low self esteem, living duplicative lives, expert track coverers, and attractive enough to get away with it. Completely incapable of 5 minutes of loneliness. You need to run the opposite direction as fast as you can from a woman like that.

This is most women, IMO.

 

[BigJim®]

If you want her (you shouldn't), go after her with a full head of steam. None of this guarded heart girly stuff you're doing. Make bold moves to win her heart. Be aggressive and make the first move. It's a huge, huge, HUGE mistake. But since you're hellbent on making it, at least do it right.

I agree with this. It's dumb, but don't let her use you as a backstop while she perpetuates the PT angle. If you are hell bent on digging your own grave, you should throw down the "It's him or me, right this moment, and if it is me you are cutting ties with him completely." I think you might get a different response than you're assuming though. Could lead to an epiphany for you. My guess is she'll say she wants to take it slow, which should tell you all you need to know.

 

[TxBuckeye]

Sometimes leaving a girl sore is the best way to leave a lasting effect on her when you know it's going to end badly.

So you gave her your usual 30 seconds and then hit her over the head with a flashlight?

 

[comfortably numb]

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be."

How many of you guys have had experience with a significant other who left you and then the two of you got back together? What was the relationship like after you reunited?

Right now I'm going through a break up that came out of left field for me. I honestly had no idea she was feeling this way. I am 26 and have been with my ex for the past 6 years. We met in college and I thought she was the one.

Why didn't I propose to her sooner? Well we both wanted to be financially stable. Both of us just graduated about 2 years ago and after a year of searching for jobs we just started working in our respective careers this past year. With a year + of work under my belt and some savings for a ring, I was ready to propose to her sometime soon.

That was until the other day when she told me she wanted to be "single right now" because she didn't know if she could be happy with me in the future. Her main grievance is that I was not very spontaneous or took the initiative to plan dates, etc. I told her I would change: go hiking with her, plan more dates, etc but she has been adamant in ending the relationship. I asked her if there was another guy and she said no. She just hasn't had the chance to be single, because she has been in two long term relationships the past 9 years, and didn't know if she could be happy with me in the future. She just wants time alone, to enjoy being "single and independent".

I asked her if I should wait, if there's hope, and she told me, “It would be selfish of me to tell you to wait for me, but I can't tell you to move on. Just try your best to make yourself happy right now. I don't know what the future holds, but I know I just can't be with you right now.”

It has been just killer as we live together. Seeing her everyday just makes me realize how great of a person I'm losing. Sure she's just destroying my life right now, but I don't feel any anger, just regret that I messed it up somehow. She's looking to move out ASAP and after that I know I HAVE TO STAY AWAY FROM HER (hopefully with the help of work, alcohol, joining a gym, and my friends I'll be able to do this).

I've pretty much resigned that we'll be broken up and she'll be out of my life once she moves out, but maybe because I love her so much and usually in life have such a positive outlook I'm still holding onto some hope.

So please FFA feel free to share your experience with me about your past relationships especially if you guys were reunited for better or worse. I'll appreciate both the doses of reality (she's gone forever) or the words of encouragement (maybe she'll be back). Thanks for reading. Just typing this out was helpful.

Now that I think about it, this was Alyssa who was letting you go to see if you would come back to her and it would be meant to be!

 

[[icon]]

Sometimes leaving a girl sore is the best way to leave a lasting effect on her when you know it's going to end badly.

So you gave her your usual 30 seconds and then hit her over the head with a flashlight?

sorry but this made me laugh.

 

[urbanhack]

He isn't changing his mind anytime soon. He is looking for any glimmer of positive encforcement for being with her again. I've been there...

 

[The Duff Man]

Did he ever bone a fatty? Could have prevented this unfortunate turn of events...

 

[Maude]

Sometimes leaving a girl sore is the best way to leave a lasting effect on her when you know it's going to end badly.

So you gave her your usual 30 seconds and then hit her over the head with a flashlight?

sorry but this made me laugh.

It may have only been a mere 30 seconds, but it was for sure a full 2 fluid ounces.

 

[jwp]

I'm fairly new here and I'd like a good Friday read. Would someone link me woz ex gf thread?? Everyone is always talking about this and I'd like to read the story.