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Jokes/Laughter Thread (1 Viewer)

An old man lived alone in the country. It was spring and he wanted to dig his tomato garden, as he had done every year, but it was very hard work for the aging man as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was currently in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If only you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

Dear Dad, Not for nothing, but don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the BODIES. Love Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man's house and dug up the entire area. However, they didn't find any bodies, so they apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love Vinnie
 
Charlie goes to the doctors to get his first ever colonoscopy.

The Doctor walks in and puts on the latex gloves, and says "OK Jeff. I know this is your first time. Try not to get an erection".

Charlie looks side-eyed at the Doctor and Says "My name's Charlie".

The Doctor replies, "I know. My names Jeff. Nice to meet you."
 
I recently saw pictures of the Mt Rushmore site prior to the carvings being done. It was a beautiful landscape. In fact, it was unprecedented.
 
I recently saw pictures of the Mt Rushmore site prior to the carvings being done. It was a beautiful landscape. In fact, it was unprecedented.

Ha, you got me. I opened this thread in bed at 6:30 am, but then rushed to get to work and then opened my phone up to take a break and for some reason I thought I was in the national park thread.

I wrote an embarrassing reply, which I quickly deleted. 😕
 
When my wife finally awoke from her coma in the hospital this morning, I decided to give her the good news first.

“Darling, the doctors say you’re going to pull through.”

“Tell me the bad news “, she whispered.

“You’ve failed your driving test.”
 

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