FTR I'm not advocating leniency, enabling, coddling, et al.
Addicts are #######s. They'll lie & do dumb #### 8 days a week. But it's not because they're morons. They're just a ####### - at home, work, wherever. Cut them out of your life, fire them, turn your back. It never ends with addicts. Endless. Cycle.
99% of the time. The one exception I've known are my buddies Paul & Ritchie. 16 years we hired Paul to be our VP of Ops. He's a recovering alcoholic. AFAIK been sober 20 years. Anyway, first move he made was to hire his old boss, Ritchie, to be our VP of Provisioning. Our CEO had to sign off on it, so he called Paul in his office.
"Isn't Ritchie the guy that fired you at Verizon 8, 10 years ago?"
Yep. I was an ####### alcoholic back then. Hell, I would have fired me.
So we tell that story a lot these days, but 99% of the time, just get as far away as quickly as you can.
#### JB. He's an #######. He blew it. He's an addict, but a condition or disease is simply a fact, not an excuse. He made his own bed. Sad, he's a major talent, but FF, the Jags & the NFL rolls on without him.
I would add, go to Al Anon, if you are being affected by a friend or family member with a drug or alcohol problem. And recommend that the person go to treatment. With treatment many people recover. Few realize how much addicts suffer because of their illness. It robs people of their lives, health, relationships, jobs, etc. Terrible illnesses with a simple cure... Stay sober today.
Not uncommon for people to lack empathy for addicts. View it like an illness that is out of their control. The inability to cut down on the substance despite awful consequences is hallmark of the disease. Drugs and alcohol impair your judgment and make people do stupid and dangerous things like driving while intoxicated. Drugs and alcohol can turn a brilliant and wise person into a moron when they are drunk.
I hear what you are saying.
I grew up with alcoholics and my best friend of 45 years was once a crack head. Licensed engineer, came from a great family. Nearly screwed his life up for good back in the late 80s/early 90s. He got sober for a few years, relapsed. I just hosted him for Thanksgiving, along with his (2nd) wife and three kids. Seems to be OK for the moment. But I'm wary. Anyway, he's down in Tampa, not hard to be a friend for a couple days.
I'm working with a C-level executive who is an alcoholic. We've offered treatment and tried intervention. For the past year we've been building the case file (HR reports to me; it's complicated firing vested equity holders, especially one that has half the VPs/Directors reporting to him.) It's exhausting.
So my advice to get the #### away from addicts is not from a lack of empathy, but just a lifetime of dealing with other people's bull####. I know, clinically and rationally, it's a disease that is beyond their control. But if there is any way you have a choice, don't try to be there for them. They. Are. Not. Worth. It.
Where the rubber meets the road, it's emotionally and physically draining dealing with addicts. OTOH I want to feel sorry for them, OTOH I can't stand their b.s.