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If you go with the forget it route, can we be invited to the camping trip next time?Its pretty likely that she doesn't remember, and you do stupid things when you are drunk. I say forget the whole thing ever happened.
hmm maybe kilgore trout = steve?
True it was right down the middle, well played.
I just don't see the point in making a federal case about a drunken mishap. Does he think his wife is in love with Steve, or that she would try to have a relationship with him? If the answer to this question is no, than this is not worth risking a whole marriage for. If you are really concerned, tell your wife about what you are worried about and take steps to not put yourself in that position again.
This is just the kind of thing that would get me extremely upset and nervous. There's no way I could let something like this go or forget about it - at least until I sorted things out. I'm guessing the OP feels the same way. I can't imagine forgetting about it is really an option ...I just don't see the point in making a federal case about a drunken mishap. Does he think his wife is in love with Steve, or that she would try to have a relationship with him? If the answer to this question is no, than this is not worth risking a whole marriage for. If you are really concerned, tell your wife about what you are worried about and take steps to not put yourself in that position again.
I agree. Except for the "not totally" part. Because the college lifestyle is all about single, immature young adults with little responsibility. Nothing is more pathetic than people who refuse to grow up...and then have children.
I don't see how anyone would trust the wife until this got resoved and Steve should be out of the picture.This is just the kind of thing that would get me extremely upset and nervous. There's no way I could let something like this go or forget about it - at least until I sorted things out. I'm guessing the OP feels the same way. I can't imagine forgetting about it is really an option ...I just don't see the point in making a federal case about a drunken mishap. Does he think his wife is in love with Steve, or that she would try to have a relationship with him? If the answer to this question is no, than this is not worth risking a whole marriage for. If you are really concerned, tell your wife about what you are worried about and take steps to not put yourself in that position again.
This is just the kind of thing that would get me extremely upset and nervous. There's no way I could let something like this go or forget about it - at least until I sorted things out. I'm guessing the OP feels the same way. I can't imagine forgetting about it is really an option ...I just don't see the point in making a federal case about a drunken mishap. Does he think his wife is in love with Steve, or that she would try to have a relationship with him? If the answer to this question is no, than this is not worth risking a whole marriage for. If you are really concerned, tell your wife about what you are worried about and take steps to not put yourself in that position again.hmm maybe kilgore trout = steve?
This is bad advice.
It doesn't sound like his wife remembers anything. She was the one who asked what happened to her bra:
If I were inclined to do anything, I would ask Steve about it. If you think Steve was sober enough to be trying to take advantage of your wife, that would be a problem. If I trusted my wife up until that night, and she told me honestly that she didn't remember, I would believe her. I may talk about what we will do in the future when drinking is involved, but I don't think she consciously went after Steve.
Ouch.
I felt the same way, even though it makes for great reading. There is no way I would be able to let this go. I would need to get to the bottom of it. And if, in fact, something did happen, that would be the end of my marriage. I would have serious trust issues for the rest of my marriage to this women. I do hope, for the OP's sake, that nothing happened.This is just the kind of thing that would get me extremely upset and nervous. There's no way I could let something like this go or forget about it - at least until I sorted things out. I'm guessing the OP feels the same way. I can't imagine forgetting about it is really an option ...I just don't see the point in making a federal case about a drunken mishap. Does he think his wife is in love with Steve, or that she would try to have a relationship with him? If the answer to this question is no, than this is not worth risking a whole marriage for. If you are really concerned, tell your wife about what you are worried about and take steps to not put yourself in that position again.Its pretty likely that she doesn't remember, and you do stupid things when you are drunk. I say forget the whole thing ever happened.
hmm maybe kilgore trout = steve?
I felt sick and pissed just reading it. I couldn't imagine if I were in his shoes.
He obviously needs resolution, otherwise he wouldn't have posted this.
Hope you get it 'hat.
Don't forget to keep your good ibuddies updated.
This is the question that you need to address. Is it was a case of some innocent flirting that went a little too far because of excessive drinking, or is she really contemplating infidelity? If its the former, you should have a discussion with her, and at the very least change the ground rules about flirting. If its the latter, its a symptom of much larger relationship issues.I just don't see the point in making a federal case about a drunken mishap. Does he think his wife is in love with Steve, or that she would try to have a relationship with him? If the answer to this question is no, than this is not worth risking a whole marriage for. If you are really concerned, tell your wife about what you are worried about and take steps to not put yourself in that position again.
Beat me to it.
I'm married and this situation would be suxor.
<-- Formerly married guy that had wife cheat on him.
My point in the "not totally" part was to still take in some other very cool things in the college experience like alumni activities or to show his children the university that they lived on for those years (among many other things). The college lifestyle is not solely based on single, immature attitudes but it is very close so I see your point. The fact remains that a lot of people like to "cling" to that part of the lifestyle even as they get married and have kids. In Chicago- you go to Wrigley-ville and you see this all over the place. The twenty somethings still clinging on. They long for a slice of that life. This particular case is a prime example of what booze will do to people and based on the feedback in this thread it is possible that the scale can tip in either direction of dictating what the future will hold for this man and his family.....I agree. Except for the "not totally" part. Because the college lifestyle is all about single, immature young adults with little responsibility. Nothing is more pathetic than people who refuse to grow up...and then have children.
Agreed, however I cant help be wonder why the OP didnt go check on his wife when his friends told him to. I am sure the OP did trust his wife, but do you really trust a "steve" to be alone with her back in the woods after they have both been drinking? I dont think you can leave your wife and kids over this. I would however suggest going to talk to a therapist of some sort because there are obvious problems between you both if this sort of thing is going on.
Married guy and father of one here.I don't see much problem like some of the other posters with having a yearly event like this where old friends get together, blow off some steam and knock a few back. Especially with kids safely at grandmas, and their out in the woods where nothing really bad can happen.And I am with those saying I could not rest until I got to the bottom of EXACTLY what happend here.Finally, I would echo the sentiment of others that I find it VERY unlikely that your wife doesn't remember any of this. She seemed to be very drunk at the time, but not totally out of it. Your wife knows, and your buddy George has a good idea, if not specific details (as it sounds like he left only a minute in to this rendezvous).At this point, I would believe anything happened along the range of:slightly more than harmless flirting, making out > a little groping over the clothes > playing with the breasts > something more > the full dealYour wife is being evasive, so start with George.
I just don't think it is worth throwing away 8 years of marriage especially with 2 kids because your wife made a drunken mistake. She's only human. If she makes the mistake again however, than we can start talking about divorce. The easier person to break up with in this instance is Steve.
Well, call it being nieve. As I said, we always joke around with each other, and when George first said it, I assumed it was like a "She walked into the stall with him, laughed and then walked out." At right around the fifteen minute mark, with George's second reminder, I was getting up to go check, and that's when they returned.Seriously, 15 minutes is a long, long time.proninja said:The part of this story I don't understand is how you were told your wife was in a bathroom stall with another man multiple times, and didn't do anything.Sorry man.
I'd agree. I'd probably not take it seriously at all, but I'd at least go over and play along with it and pretend like I'm catching them in the act or whatever knowing that there's a 99 percent chance nothing is happening - all the time making sure I know if it's that one percent.proninja said:
How come people don't buy this? Heavy drinking can induce blackouts. :( She was throwing up the next day, a clear sign that she had way too much too drink. MIYH knows more about his wife than we do, so it really depends on if he thinks she's lying. But from an earlier post, it sounds like he trusts her.
I would call him or meet him somewhere to talk in person. Make it clear that you want to know what happened. I know that if I were in George's situation, I would try to be evasive and not want to "hurt" my friend by telling all. He may not want to spill the beans because he might feel partially responsible for not intervening himself or being more forceful to get you to check in on them in the bathroom. Be aware of that.
What he said.
Good point. Steve should have either put them puppies back in the kennel, or come back to the camp fire and said "Hey! Why is my pecker hanging out?"
:( Solid advice, especially the bolded part. I'd only change 3) to read "WRITE STEVE OFF". He's done as a "friend".
I have been way drunk many times in my life and on many of those occasions I have had relations of some sort with a woman and each time I woke up the next day knowing exactly what I did with my little buddy and what I didnt. She knows what happend, she may just be choosing to forget about it. All I know is I can accomplish quite a bit in 15 mins.
YOU can, SHE can't.but then again, who cares?I have been way drunk many times in my life and on many of those occasions I have had relations of some sort with a woman and each time I woke up the next day knowing exactly what I did with my little buddy and what I didnt. She knows what happend, she may just be choosing to forget about it. All I know is I can accomplish quite a bit in 15 mins.How come people don't buy this? Heavy drinking can induce blackouts.She was throwing up the next day, a clear sign that she had way too much too drink. MIYH knows more about his wife than we do, so it really depends on if he thinks she's lying. But from an earlier post, it sounds like he trusts her.
I bet Steve can too..YOU can, SHE can't.but then again, who cares?I have been way drunk many times in my life and on many of those occasions I have had relations of some sort with a woman and each time I woke up the next day knowing exactly what I did with my little buddy and what I didnt. She knows what happend, she may just be choosing to forget about it. All I know is I can accomplish quite a bit in 15 mins.How come people don't buy this? Heavy drinking can induce blackouts.
