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Marital Advice - Friendly camping trip too friendly? (3 Viewers)

What do I do next?

  • Nothing, let it go.

    Votes: 9 17.6%
  • Go to counseling.

    Votes: 13 25.5%
  • Have my wife call this guy to figure out the events.

    Votes: 26 51.0%
  • [No response text]

    Votes: 15 29.4%

  • Total voters
    51
It's threads like this that make me realize that I could probably live my life pretty happily with just myself, my business, an innernet connection, multiple hobbies, etc.marriage and/or kids = badbeat
I am happy with my wife and 4 kids :confused:
 
My thinking is on the assumptioin that wife did something. Sorry, MITHY, but it probably happenned. On the bright side, if MIYH is looking for a reason to leave his wife, he's now got it. Thank goodness for small miracles.On the other hand, if you love your wife dearly and would never want to be divorced, your situation suXor. If this is the case, you have a couple of options:1. Go to Steve's house and go ballistic. If he's bigger than you and you can't beat the crap out of him, than . . . I don't know, just flip out, kick his cat, pee on his furniture, break a few windows, whatever. You've got to make a point here, and that point is "don't #### with the man with the yellow hat." You've got to do SOMETHING to make that point. If you are a smallish, weakish, timidish, kind of guy, than you gotta think outside of the box a little bit, really explore your space. You've got to let everybody concerned know -- Steve, George, your wife, everybody, that this #### can never ever happen again. Then make amends with your wife, tell her that you are sorry you flipped out, you don't know what got into you, etc.
#### that. It's what got into her I'd worry about. The least of my concerns here would be that somebody got their feelings hurt I flipped out a little bit. I think he needs to flip out a little bit, consequences be damned. I do like the pee on his furniture idea, though.
 
MWTYH - I feel for you man. You need to confront your wife and don't take "I don't remember" as an answer. That is :excited:

Most likely something happened and you have to be ready for that. You are done with Steve as a friend.

And you have to figure out for yourself whether you can rebuild the trust between you and your wife

G/L

 
It's about 95% certain that your wife screwed around on you with a friend of yours.

It's about 70/30 (IMO) that she's lying to you about not remembering anything.

It's about 90% certain that George is lying to you about not remembering all of this.

You have 3 people involved. You use each of them as leverage on whoever you're talking to.

Corner your wife. You tell her that you just got off the phone with George, and he told you that he saw X. X can be saw them messing around in the stall, X can be he saw her bra on the floor of the stall. X can be that Steve said something to him about hooking up with your wife. X can be ANYTHING you want to say.

If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.

Fine.

Go see Steve.

You don't call him, you go SEE him. You don't want him to be able to hang up on you and call your wife or George. You go see Steve and tell him that George told you he saw X, and his wife doesn't remember what happened - you tell him that you know that he raped/took advantage of his wife, and not only are you going to tell his wife (I THINK Steve is married?) but that your wife is considering pressing charges against him.

One of them will crack. Either your wife or Steve blurts out what happened. You don't even need to lean on George, although you can if you absolutely need to - George probably won't want to think that Steve can be charged with rape or something if he (George) knows that it appeared consentual.

This all might seem a little extreme, but these people are lying to your face. They're lying to you because they don't respect you or just think they can get away with it. This isn't some small social thing, or a manner thing, or an uncomfortable secret - this is the mother of your children and the woman you sleep in bed with - you need to do all that you can to find out if she is capable of nailing your friends and then lying to you about it.

 
It's threads like this that make me realize that I could probably live my life pretty happily with just myself, my business, an innernet connection, multiple hobbies, etc.
Now imagine you can do all those things and share them with a woman whom you can trust. That is the attraction with marriage for many of us.
 
A few more points after having re-read the original post.

1. There were 2 guys - not just George - that went to the bathroom with Steve and Mrs. MIYH and 2 guys that returned to the campsite. Who is this other guy? Why are we not considering talking to him?

2. You said after talking to your wife the next day "she remebers things from the night, but does not remember going into the stall with the guy, nor does she remember anything happening." How ####### convenient. She was drunk enough to erase only recollections of the series of events in question.

You need to put the heat on your wife. Let her know you are serious and think that she isn't being honest. Tell her she may need to go spend a few days with her mother or at the Holiday Inn until she can make herself remember.

 
It's about 95% certain that your wife screwed around on you with a friend of yours.

It's about 70/30 (IMO) that she's lying to you about not remembering anything.

It's about 90% certain that George is lying to you about not remembering all of this.

You have 3 people involved. You use each of them as leverage on whoever you're talking to.

Corner your wife. You tell her that you just got off the phone with George, and he told you that he saw X. X can be saw them messing around in the stall, X can be he saw her bra on the floor of the stall. X can be that Steve said something to him about hooking up with your wife. X can be ANYTHING you want to say.

If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.

Fine.

Go see Steve.

You don't call him, you go SEE him. You don't want him to be able to hang up on you and call your wife or George. You go see Steve and tell him that George told you he saw X, and his wife doesn't remember what happened - you tell him that you know that he raped/took advantage of his wife, and not only are you going to tell his wife (I THINK Steve is married?) but that your wife is considering pressing charges against him.

One of them will crack. Either your wife or Steve blurts out what happened. You don't even need to lean on George, although you can if you absolutely need to - George probably won't want to think that Steve can be charged with rape or something if he (George) knows that it appeared consentual.

This all might seem a little extreme, but these people are lying to your face. They're lying to you because they don't respect you or just think they can get away with it. This isn't some small social thing, or a manner thing, or an uncomfortable secret - this is the mother of your children and the woman you sleep in bed with - you need to do all that you can to find out if she is capable of nailing your friends and then lying to you about it.
:excited: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4698837
 
For all those saying he should talk to Steve, I will pretend I am Steve:Steve: Nothing happened. I have no idea why we both came out in 15 minutes--weird coincidence?Your move.
MITYH: Well, the story seems to be that you sexually assaulted her. We're looking at pressing chargesThat'll get him to come clean real quick. If he's innocent, he'll say nothing happen, if he's guilty of stepping over any boundaries, he'll likely respond with "Bull####! She was willing!"(sorry if this has been covered this thread grew 2 pages in my commute home.)
 
Corner your wife. You tell her that you just got off the phone with George, and he told you that he saw X. X can be saw them messing around in the stall, X can be he saw her bra on the floor of the stall. X can be that Steve said something to him about hooking up with your wife. X can be ANYTHING you want to say.

If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.

Fine.

Go see Steve.

You don't call him, you go SEE him. You don't want him to be able to hang up on you and call your wife or George. You go see Steve and tell him that George told you he saw X, and his wife doesn't remember what happened - you tell him that you know that he raped/took advantage of his wife, and not only are you going to tell his wife (I THINK Steve is married?) but that your wife is considering pressing charges against him.

One of them will crack. Either your wife or Steve blurts out what happened. You don't even need to lean on George, although you can if you absolutely need to - George probably won't want to think that Steve can be charged with rape or something if he (George) knows that it appeared consentual.
:shrug: Playing the rape card = :excited: If you start talking about pressing sexual assault charges, someone will tell you the truth. No way all three people involved here let it get that far.

 
Wow. What are the odds that out of all the people there that night, the only one that didn't drink to the point of NOT REMEMBERING A THING was MitYH?

Whoever said that none of these people are your friends is dead on. They've decided which side of the fence they're on, and buddy, it's most assuredly not yours. You've got a lot of ground to make up, and you're not going to get any help. Time to man up.

 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
 
proninja said:
You come onto the FFA saying "gee, do you think anything happened" when all of us have a pretty damn good idea what happened. You need to throw your weight around, establish yourself, and make damn sure it's known by all parties that A) You know what happened, B) Your wife will never see Steve again and C) You're making these decisions, and you're finding out the info.
I won't quote the whole post because a couple of guys already have, but this is exactly the kind of thing I was thinking. Ninja's whole post was spot-on.In addition to my suggestion to go nuts on Steve, you gotta lay it on your wife a little bit too. Nothing physical, but you may want to give her a vision of what it would be like to live the life of a single, divorced, mom. Talk about splitting up, selling the house, splitting days with the kids. Do something, show a little bit of fire. And good luck. I'm sorry, man.
I agree that you've got to put some pressure on everyone involved to get to the truth. If you don't get to the bottom of this now, you will most likely always have doubt in your mind. Your trust in your wife will not be there and your marriage will suffer and most likely end at some point. You need to know the truth and then figure out how to deal with it.
 
So did the hot blonde flight attendant call Otis back?

I cannot seem to pull myself away from this thread.

 
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If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Why? If his wife was fondled and honestly was too drunk to remember it, then it is sexual assault. Of course, we know that isn't true, and this will likely allow the truth to come out.
 
126 User(s) are reading this topic (41 Guests and 3 Anonymous Users)

82 Members: Franknbeans, Bonzai, jafo, Slinger, The Third, (HULK), VASteel, wdh76, Peak, Commish77, baymen, Genedoc, Kilgore Trout, glvsav37, Skipdog77, E-Z Glider, Stevie, Rayderr, perry147, flufhed, Steve the Camper, ElvisMonster, gferrell20, Kenlin, Wyldfox, Black Box, ttiger72, Pipes, larry_boy_44, Brutis, bmetz, Sweet J, The noD, Poppa, CBusAlex, Desert_Power, NotMeantToBe, illiterate, Moe., patrickmcgroin, AmpLee, DWidmar, andyjayhawker, SuperJohn96, gorf, Ditkaless Wonders, Pabst Blue Ribbon, snitwitch, shining path, ianfitzy, 3C's, Funkley, Apu, chuckorc, StrikeS2k, FBGirl79, bigfun54, purplehaze67, Buddy Ball 2K3, glock, shamrock84, jburns, b-snatchers, Padraig, Mr. Know-It-All, geewill, dagogrease, Buddy Lembeck, LAUNCH, Hov34, Panzer, Bouncing Beatnik, brettdj, ShaqAttaq, Mr. Chumley, GAlmgren, texasyankee, chet, pricklypete, tdoublebb, Apollo, mr fancypants
:rolleyes:
 
It's threads like this that make me realize that I could probably live my life pretty happily with just myself, my business, an innernet connection, multiple hobbies, etc.marriage and/or kids = badbeat
:thumbup: Maybe for you, but having kids and a wife you can trust is priceless.
:rolleyes: My kids make my spirit soar and I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest when they smile at me. The wife ain't so bad either.
 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Married? The rest of us would like to go camping with you and your wife... :rolleyes:
 
Has anyone read Needfull Things by Stephen King?

This thread has gone in that direction pretty quickly.

 
BTW You are not a man. At least not as I define the term. Can you change your user name to Ostrich in the yellow plummage? Or Cuckold?

 
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126 User(s) are reading this topic (41 Guests and 3 Anonymous Users)

82 Members: Franknbeans, Bonzai, jafo, Slinger, The Third, (HULK), VASteel, wdh76, Peak, Commish77, baymen, Genedoc, Kilgore Trout, glvsav37, Skipdog77, E-Z Glider, Stevie, Rayderr, perry147, flufhed, Steve the Camper, ElvisMonster, gferrell20, Kenlin, Wyldfox, Black Box, ttiger72, Pipes, larry_boy_44, Brutis, bmetz, Sweet J, The noD, Poppa, CBusAlex, Desert_Power, NotMeantToBe, illiterate, Moe., patrickmcgroin, AmpLee, DWidmar, andyjayhawker, SuperJohn96, gorf, Ditkaless Wonders, Pabst Blue Ribbon, snitwitch, shining path, ianfitzy, 3C's, Funkley, Apu, chuckorc, StrikeS2k, FBGirl79, bigfun54, purplehaze67, Buddy Ball 2K3, glock, shamrock84, jburns, b-snatchers, Padraig, Mr. Know-It-All, geewill, dagogrease, Buddy Lembeck, LAUNCH, Hov34, Panzer, Bouncing Beatnik, brettdj, ShaqAttaq, Mr. Chumley, GAlmgren, texasyankee, chet, pricklypete, tdoublebb, Apollo, mr fancypants
:rolleyes:
I'm secure enough to go on record as saying that I still get a chuckle out of this kind of schtick. At this point, it's old school enough to qualify as meta-schtick.
 
Why should his friend be held accountable for his wife behaving like a hooowah... :rolleyes:
Maybe because real men don't mess with with married women, especially when they are married to one of their friends. Although I already pointed out that this guy is certainly no friend.
 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Why? If his wife was fondled and honestly was too drunk to remember it, then it is sexual assault. Of course, we know that isn't true, and this will likely allow the truth to come out.
I just don't see why you need to resort to such outlandish tactics as acusing someone of rape when you have no hard evidence that this is the case. Fine, he should have another conversation with his wife. Maybe go nuts on Steve. But rape?
 
Lots of people will offer the advice of not letting a drunken encounter destroy what you have built together. I've always found that advice curious since had you truly built something together she would not have cuckholded you. There is no respect here. There can no longer be trust here. There is no honesty here. Without those how can there be love?Sadly she could have started building something here by showing you the respect to be honest with you. Maybe from that base, and on behalf of the children, you could have built something. As to what to do that is dependant on your values and character. What I might do should have no bearing on your decision.
I find it curious that so many are so quick to advise him to end his marriage and break up his family over something that happened one time while she was intoxicated, if it actually happened at all.
 
Has anyone ever seen proninja and Gordon Gekko posting at the same time? I came in here looking for the GG position and I found it, but it was written by proninja.

 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Why? If his wife was fondled and honestly was too drunk to remember it, then it is sexual assault. Of course, we know that isn't true, and this will likely allow the truth to come out.
I just don't see why you need to resort to such outlandish tactics as acusing someone of rape when you have no hard evidence that this is the case. Fine, he should have another conversation with his wife. Maybe go nuts on Steve. But rape?
No one is suggesting that Steve is actually guilty of or should actually be charged with rape.
 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Why? If his wife was fondled and honestly was too drunk to remember it, then it is sexual assault. Of course, we know that isn't true, and this will likely allow the truth to come out.
I just don't see why you need to resort to such outlandish tactics as acusing someone of rape when you have no hard evidence that this is the case. Fine, he should have another conversation with his wife. Maybe go nuts on Steve. But rape?
I agree with KT on this. MIYH needs to get aggressive in this spot, but tossing a rape accusation out there, even as a tactical ploy, dramatically escalates this situation.
 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Why? If his wife was fondled and honestly was too drunk to remember it, then it is sexual assault. Of course, we know that isn't true, and this will likely allow the truth to come out.
I just don't see why you need to resort to such outlandish tactics as acusing someone of rape when you have no hard evidence that this is the case. Fine, he should have another conversation with his wife. Maybe go nuts on Steve. But rape?
No one is suggesting that Steve is actually guilty of or should actually be charged with rape.
:penalty:
 
I voted for #1. :hophead: BTW, if ones peemus won't stop dripping, should one consult a physician :shock:
:penalty:This is bad on so many levels, not the least of which it is a butchering of a once-decent shtick.
:mellow: But I know the real secret, that she rather enjoys choke-####ing....and a finger in the ###... :thumbup:
Nothing about your lame attempt at employing this time honored shtick is even remotely approaching funny.
 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Why? If his wife was fondled and honestly was too drunk to remember it, then it is sexual assault. Of course, we know that isn't true, and this will likely allow the truth to come out.
I just don't see why you need to resort to such outlandish tactics as acusing someone of rape when you have no hard evidence that this is the case. Fine, he should have another conversation with his wife. Maybe go nuts on Steve. But rape?
I agree with KT on this. MIYH needs to get aggressive in this spot, but tossing a rape accusation out there, even as a tactical ploy, dramatically escalates this situation.
So what?The point is to escalate the situation to the point where lying to cover up the sexual encounter becomes trivial relative to the fake real-looking consquences.

 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Why? If his wife was fondled and honestly was too drunk to remember it, then it is sexual assault. Of course, we know that isn't true, and this will likely allow the truth to come out.
I just don't see why you need to resort to such outlandish tactics as acusing someone of rape when you have no hard evidence that this is the case. Fine, he should have another conversation with his wife. Maybe go nuts on Steve. But rape?
No one is suggesting that Steve is actually guilty of or should actually be charged with rape.
That's an awfully big bluff that you're going to have to show when it gets called.
 
Lots of people will offer the advice of not letting a drunken encounter destroy what you have built together. I've always found that advice curious since had you truly built something together she would not have cuckholded you. There is no respect here. There can no longer be trust here. There is no honesty here. Without those how can there be love?Sadly she could have started building something here by showing you the respect to be honest with you. Maybe from that base, and on behalf of the children, you could have built something. As to what to do that is dependant on your values and character. What I might do should have no bearing on your decision.
I find it curious that so many are so quick to advise him to end his marriage and break up his family over something that happened one time while she was intoxicated, if it actually happened at all.
He would not be doing the breaking up. It has already been done to him. She demonstrated that no love, trust, or respect exists. Alcohol does not create behavior, it releases it. It also does not excuse behavior though many too unwilling to self examine and be accountable pretend that it does. If a man gets shot do you suggest that he should not have jumped in front of the bullet?
 
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For those of you staying in this thread, Big Daddy Kane had sex with the chunky craigslist girl and should be posting the details soon.

 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Why? If his wife was fondled and honestly was too drunk to remember it, then it is sexual assault. Of course, we know that isn't true, and this will likely allow the truth to come out.
I just don't see why you need to resort to such outlandish tactics as acusing someone of rape when you have no hard evidence that this is the case. Fine, he should have another conversation with his wife. Maybe go nuts on Steve. But rape?
No one is suggesting that Steve is actually guilty of or should actually be charged with rape.
That's an awfully big bluff that you're going to have to show when it gets called.
I don't think there's anythin to lose. Unless you still think there's a chance nothing happened.The friendship with Steve is over. The friendship with George is in serious question. The only remaining issue is what to do with the marriage - and to answer that question you have to get someone to be honest with you.
 
If your wife continues to deny it, then fine, you act like you believe her and start talking about how you're going to talk to the police because you think she was raped. She either breaks down and tells you, legitimately doesn't remember, or is so scared to tell you that she will let it ride out.
This is insane.
Why? If his wife was fondled and honestly was too drunk to remember it, then it is sexual assault. Of course, we know that isn't true, and this will likely allow the truth to come out.
I just don't see why you need to resort to such outlandish tactics as acusing someone of rape when you have no hard evidence that this is the case. Fine, he should have another conversation with his wife. Maybe go nuts on Steve. But rape?
No one is suggesting that Steve is actually guilty of or should actually be charged with rape.
:penalty:
Okay - we get it. Now stop.
 
It's threads like this that make me realize that I could probably live my life pretty happily with just myself, my business, an innernet connection, multiple hobbies, etc.marriage and/or kids = badbeat
:shock: Maybe for you, but having kids and a wife you can trust is priceless.
:penalty: I'm sure there's a bunch of us who could post stories about the great weekends we had with our wives and kids, but it wouldn't generate nearly the interest that this thread has.
 
Ok, I've thought about it some more. Given MITYH's personality, you guys are right, direct confrontation is probably out of the picture. But you should do something, man.

I'd say that you need to stop being freinds with Steve. He screwed your wife. You just have to, out of principle.

You also have to stop being friends with George, he was a close enough witness to Steve screwing your wife, that he will serve as a constant reminder to this.

But you would prefer to stay with the wife.

Fine. Step-by-step:

Before bed, take some ex-lax.

Find out when Steve or his wife won't be home the next day.

Go to his house in the middle of the day.

Hopefully his door will be locked, so you can kick it open (it makes for a better visual).

Enter living room.

Drop pants.

Place television on floor.

Take dump on television.

Make sure poo gets a little bit on carpet.

Pee on the most expensive piece of furniture (probably couch).

Don't hurt the cat. It may be somebody's daughter.

Leave note on (broken) front door.

"You ####ed my wife, so I shat on your TV and peed on your couch. Fair trade. Please don't ever talk to me again."

Clean yourself up, you lovable pig, you.

Make wife a nice dinner.

Have nice dinner.

Tell her, "By the way, I shat on Steve's television and peed on his rug. You know, because he ####ed my wife."

Tell her if she does it again, you will find another innocent couch to take it out on. Maybe next time, it will be hers.

Stop being friends with these people.

Remember to come to the FFA for all of your relationship advice. We are money.

 

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