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Marital Advice - Friendly camping trip too friendly? (2 Viewers)

What do I do next?

  • Nothing, let it go.

    Votes: 9 17.6%
  • Go to counseling.

    Votes: 13 25.5%
  • Have my wife call this guy to figure out the events.

    Votes: 26 51.0%
  • [No response text]

    Votes: 15 29.4%

  • Total voters
    51
Who the hell doesn't have a cell phone? I don't know a single person under the age of 80 and over the age of 16 who doesn't have one.
I don't.My wife has one. I call her on it so infrequently that I do not know the # nor have I put it on speed dial.I had a cell and a pager years ago. All it did for me was leash me to work and to trivial interuptions. Damn things have become so ubiquitious I will undoubtably have to roll over and get one soon.
 
The worst part (besides what your wife may have done) is that all your friends know exactly what happened, they were probably talking about it the next morning in hushed whispers around the campfire, and they are probably still talking about it amongst themselves, but they won't tell you. Clearly, you don't garner much respect from the people you hang around with. As I noted 1700 posts ago, I've been in your position (except instead of going to the campground outhouse, they disappeared to a different part of a nightclub for 30 minutes or so). Nothing quite like sitting around knowing all your friends are talking about your situation, knowing they are laughing at you, but not being able to get any of them to tell you WTF is going on. My wife also played the too drunk to remember card that night. I think you know in your gut that the wife is lying, only you can decide where to go from here. Good luck.

 
Youre a brave one there yellow hat guy and saying it on here gives the perspectives of men and women of what they would think, say or do. It's hard to rationalize against the consensus while love blinds people. I'll say it again from my post:

"I'd love to say that if I had this kind of evidence I would flip out and beat george and steve. Friends are friends and if they're true they should tell you this stuff till it's settled. How good of friends are George and steve? If you have a true friend they'll stay with you till the end through everything AND answer your phone calls. I think there may be some denial on your part maybe for kids sake, but you'll never find closure. To me if my wife, if my wife handled another man drunk or not that means feelings ARE there not just inhibited due to alcohol. I don't have much advise but I'm a revengeful type where I would talk to steve in front of his wife, then call her a week later and hook up with her and send pics to steve. DON"T DO THIS THOUGH THAT"S WHAT I WOULD DO. "

George obviously found it funny enough that Steve's junk was being handled by your wife to go and tell someone else. That tells me he's not a true friend. I know you guys ran together in college but there's a point where enough is enough. I had my "george" friend make a comment bout doing things to my wife just to be funny. Well I calmy told him never to talk like that cuz we arent young anymore and I'd shut his mouth for him the next time he did.

 
To be honest, I think George told me and guy #3 what he saw. My wife into the stall and apparently held the guy's junk while he peed. He was back to camp long before anything else could've possibly happened. I don't care what he says now, the fact is he told me my wife was in the stall with the guy and he told guy #3 she was holding his junk. He can deny all he wants now, but he said it. I don't need him to say anything. I'm pretty convinved it happened.
George didn't tell you what he saw. He told #3 guy. And how does he know she was holding his junk to begin with? What was being said between them when this was going on? There is a ton of info that is missing here, and George has at least some of the answers. Grill him until he spills it all. Knowledge is power.
VERY, VERY :moneybag: You need as much information as possible. How did all 4 end up in the same bathroom instead of going to men's and women's separate? How did Steve and Wife get into the same stall - who went in first, was someone pushed in, dared in, etc.? How did George know about the wife handling Steve - did he see it personally, or did he overhear? If he overheard, what exactly was overheard, and how was it said? How was Steve's wife reacting to all this? Was she so drunk she was oblivious, was she joking about it, or was she egging her husband and Mrs. MitYH on? What did she and George talk about on the way back to camp?

TALK TO GEORGE!!!
How long before this is like the Seinfeld episode where Keith Hernandez spit on Newman and Kramer, complete with models, diagrams and re-enactments?
George was the "second holder".
Or perhaps George wants a shot at Mrs. Manhat, and he has concocted all of this as a means of either getting her free and clear or gauging Manhat's reaction to potential future infidelities.
[Jerry]And then he'll just be there for her.

[/Jerry]

 
I've been with this thread from the beginning and have gone back and forth on several of the key issues. But I think I have come to believe that your wife is lying when she says she has no recollection whatsoever of the trip to the bathroom and what happened afterwards.

Like others, I have been keeping my wife updated on this thread. Knowing that my wife had a "wild period" during college where she drank a lot, I asked her last night what she thought about the "black out" defense. She said on a few occasions she drank enough that periods of time would disappear from her memory. But the next day if someone started to remind her of details of what happened, she would have traces of recollection about those events - especially if they were something memorable. Her opinion - and one that I've held from the beginning - is that there is no way you would not have some recollection of holding a guy's junk (especially if you are married) in your hand and then making out with him after that - especially if you were reminded of the details of it the next day.

Short of an alcohol-induced coma, I simply do not believe that - under these circumstances - she has NO recollection of it - if it happened.

 
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I'd like all those pushing divorce as the only option to say how long they've been married if at all. Not to pick on Mr. Ham, but didn't he get married last month? There's a BIG difference between a "starter" marriage and one with years and kids involved IMO. I wouldn't be rushing out to get divorced just yet.
I have been married for 3 years and If I ever caught my wife cheating on me it would be over right there. I could never trust her again and could never forgive her so I would never want anything to do with her again.
 
I think way too many people are giving George a free pass here.Let me state first, none of this is his fault, he is not the main person to be pissed at, not even in the top 2, but my friendship with him would be OVERIf I see the drunken wife of one of my friends about to grab another guy's johnson OR go into a bathroom stal with him I stop it right there. If it meant taking a beat down, I'd be up for that, but these are all college buddies, so it would not have come to that. Grabbing either one and saying "OK, a bit much to drink here let's not get crazy" and then escorting her back to camp probably solves this.Barring that, I would not wander down and casually mention it and then let nothing happen for at least 15 minutes, I'd be rolling into camp and gathering whatever troops it took to get back up there RIGHT AWAY and stop whatever is happening, hell wandering out and YELLING to Mr. Yellowhat where the two bathroom buddies could hear may be enough.Don't give me this crap about being friends with both and not wanting to get involved, because by walking away he was letting events transpire that could ruin the marriages of both his friends. And did he even mention anything to Steve's wife?Not cool, not cool at all. I'd lay my ### on the line for my friends, and this guy couldn't seem to be bothered enough to lift a finger to stop a bad situation.
Unless George has done something similar with her.
 
I'd like all those pushing divorce as the only option to say how long they've been married if at all. Not to pick on Mr. Ham, but didn't he get married last month? There's a BIG difference between a "starter" marriage and one with years and kids involved IMO. I wouldn't be rushing out to get divorced just yet.
I have been married for 3 years and If I ever caught my wife cheating on me it would be over right there. I could never trust her again and could never forgive her so I would never want anything to do with her again.
Love means never having to beat your wife.
 
I'd like all those pushing divorce as the only option to say how long they've been married if at all. Not to pick on Mr. Ham, but didn't he get married last month? There's a BIG difference between a "starter" marriage and one with years and kids involved IMO. I wouldn't be rushing out to get divorced just yet.
I have been married for 3 years and If I ever caught my wife cheating on me it would be over right there. I could never trust her again and could never forgive her so I would never want anything to do with her again.
would you really beat the crap out of her?
 
I think way too many people are giving George a free pass here.Let me state first, none of this is his fault, he is not the main person to be pissed at, not even in the top 2, but my friendship with him would be OVERIf I see the drunken wife of one of my friends about to grab another guy's johnson OR go into a bathroom stal with him I stop it right there. If it meant taking a beat down, I'd be up for that, but these are all college buddies, so it would not have come to that. Grabbing either one and saying "OK, a bit much to drink here let's not get crazy" and then escorting her back to camp probably solves this.Barring that, I would not wander down and casually mention it and then let nothing happen for at least 15 minutes, I'd be rolling into camp and gathering whatever troops it took to get back up there RIGHT AWAY and stop whatever is happening, hell wandering out and YELLING to Mr. Yellowhat where the two bathroom buddies could hear may be enough.Don't give me this crap about being friends with both and not wanting to get involved, because by walking away he was letting events transpire that could ruin the marriages of both his friends. And did he even mention anything to Steve's wife?Not cool, not cool at all. I'd lay my ### on the line for my friends, and this guy couldn't seem to be bothered enough to lift a finger to stop a bad situation.
Unless George has done something similar with her.
This is a no. George has however, banged my wife's single sister, who is quite attractive.
 
I'd like all those pushing divorce as the only option to say how long they've been married if at all. Not to pick on Mr. Ham, but didn't he get married last month? There's a BIG difference between a "starter" marriage and one with years and kids involved IMO. I wouldn't be rushing out to get divorced just yet.
I have been married for 3 years and If I ever caught my wife cheating on me it would be over right there. I could never trust her again and could never forgive her so I would never want anything to do with her again.
Love means never having to beat your wife.
:moneybag:
 
I'd like all those pushing divorce as the only option to say how long they've been married if at all.

Not to pick on Mr. Ham, but didn't he get married last month? There's a BIG difference between a "starter" marriage and one with years and kids involved IMO. I wouldn't be rushing out to get divorced just yet.
I have been married for 3 years and If I ever caught my wife cheating on me it would be over right there. I could never trust her again and could never forgive her so I would never want anything to do with her again.
Love means never having to beat your wife.
Pics of his wife.
 
I think way too many people are giving George a free pass here.Let me state first, none of this is his fault, he is not the main person to be pissed at, not even in the top 2, but my friendship with him would be OVERIf I see the drunken wife of one of my friends about to grab another guy's johnson OR go into a bathroom stal with him I stop it right there. If it meant taking a beat down, I'd be up for that, but these are all college buddies, so it would not have come to that. Grabbing either one and saying "OK, a bit much to drink here let's not get crazy" and then escorting her back to camp probably solves this.Barring that, I would not wander down and casually mention it and then let nothing happen for at least 15 minutes, I'd be rolling into camp and gathering whatever troops it took to get back up there RIGHT AWAY and stop whatever is happening, hell wandering out and YELLING to Mr. Yellowhat where the two bathroom buddies could hear may be enough.Don't give me this crap about being friends with both and not wanting to get involved, because by walking away he was letting events transpire that could ruin the marriages of both his friends. And did he even mention anything to Steve's wife?Not cool, not cool at all. I'd lay my ### on the line for my friends, and this guy couldn't seem to be bothered enough to lift a finger to stop a bad situation.
Unless George has done something similar with her.
This is a no. George has however, banged my wife's single sister, who is quite attractive.
You know, if you REALLY want to get this thread off the ground, you should provide pictures. That should help keep it on page 1 at least.
 
En vino veritas, whatever... Have a couple of thoughts about the emotions that could lead to this...

1) Wife KNOWS you aren't going to come check on her. You either are, or she sees you, as inattentive. This is what it is. The fact you didn't check on her probably shows a bit of a boneless streak in you, but that's just based on the fact that most women, even sloshed, would have enough FEAR that their mate would come along (let alone respect) to refrain. Unless they can safely say something like, "He doesn't care."

2) Steve knows he's more powerful than you. He gets off on the fact that he can have anything you have. Because of this, if you work things out with your wife, you can never go near him. If this ended in a bathroom free-for-all, it didn't start there. There were eyes and signals being exchanged, you better believe it, so there is nothing innocent or excused here. But this begins and ends with the core of who you are. Either you need to build self confidence and assert yourself to the point where you aren't squarely at the bottom of the pack as far as respect amongst your peers, but you choose friends and your relationships based upon people who don't see themselves as above you. Steve isn't a friend. He lords over you. And your wife knows this about Steve. She digs it. She sees things in your character that are weaker than her ideals. That is only an indictment of you insomuch as you chose her to be a centerpiece in your life. She doesn't seem like the kind of girl who wants to lead a happy, normal, productive life as your peer. She apparently feels she settled and what she really wants she couldn't obtain... So she had to steal it.

In my opinion, the damage is done. You need to move on and find a better dynamic. You're at the bottom rung of a ladder you don't even want to climb.
:shrug: There is not nearly enough facts to jump to these kinds of conclusions. This incident appears to have occurred spontaneously during a camping expedition where everyone had been drinking heavily. The fact that so many people are jumping to the conclusion that the marriage is over and that he should separate from his wife (and move away from his kids) over something like this speaks to the immaturity of the posters and their inexperience with RL marital issues.
THis kind of rational post doesn't seem to fly here, guy.
It's called ADULTERY! How is it that irrational to say that a marriage should be over because of it? Where he and his wife are right now is that they've established that she held another guys unit in her hand and then was unaccounted for the next 15-30 minutes. That's already out there. What else she knows and is not telling him hasn't even been established. Where they are now is already adultery and grounds for divorce to me, and I've been married for 14 years and have 4 kids. If my wife did that, bye-bye. How you can just blow that off is beyond me, are you saying that you'd stay with your wife if she did that? Not me.
:lmao: 12 years and 2 kids, and it'd be "later wh0re".

 
I think way too many people are giving George a free pass here.Let me state first, none of this is his fault, he is not the main person to be pissed at, not even in the top 2, but my friendship with him would be OVERIf I see the drunken wife of one of my friends about to grab another guy's johnson OR go into a bathroom stal with him I stop it right there. If it meant taking a beat down, I'd be up for that, but these are all college buddies, so it would not have come to that. Grabbing either one and saying "OK, a bit much to drink here let's not get crazy" and then escorting her back to camp probably solves this.Barring that, I would not wander down and casually mention it and then let nothing happen for at least 15 minutes, I'd be rolling into camp and gathering whatever troops it took to get back up there RIGHT AWAY and stop whatever is happening, hell wandering out and YELLING to Mr. Yellowhat where the two bathroom buddies could hear may be enough.Don't give me this crap about being friends with both and not wanting to get involved, because by walking away he was letting events transpire that could ruin the marriages of both his friends. And did he even mention anything to Steve's wife?Not cool, not cool at all. I'd lay my ### on the line for my friends, and this guy couldn't seem to be bothered enough to lift a finger to stop a bad situation.
Unless George has done something similar with her.
This is a no. George has however, banged my wife's single sister, who is quite attractive.
You've really got quite the group of friends, haven't you?
 
Assuming she did something bad, and you want her to spill, you need to make her feel that this isn't something that will kill the marriage. Because if she believes it is, why wouldn't she do everything in her power (lying) to prevent that from happening?

 
This is a no. George has however, banged my wife's single sister, who is quite attractive.

That's it bang the wife's sister and call it a day. Be done with them both and beat the hell outta sleaze!

 
[modvoice]Veering in to questionable territory here....[/modvoice]
Can we at least isolate that it's the wife beating talk that's veering us? B/c I think MOST of us have followed the rules here.Don't kill this thread, people. It's really all i've got right now.
Please give us a hint as to the gray area we have crossed into so we can avoid that....... we can't get this thread locked!!! It has single handedly guaranteed that I will get nothing done at work today.
 
The worst part (besides what your wife may have done) is that all your friends know exactly what happened, they were probably talking about it the next morning in hushed whispers around the campfire, and they are probably still talking about it amongst themselves, but they won't tell you. Clearly, you don't garner much respect from the people you hang around with. As I noted 1700 posts ago, I've been in your position (except instead of going to the campground outhouse, they disappeared to a different part of a nightclub for 30 minutes or so). Nothing quite like sitting around knowing all your friends are talking about your situation, knowing they are laughing at you, but not being able to get any of them to tell you WTF is going on. My wife also played the too drunk to remember card that night. I think you know in your gut that the wife is lying, only you can decide where to go from here. Good luck.
"Probably" my ####. They were definitely talking about it. We know they were talking about Steve's wife pissing in the urinal, but curiously TMIYH didn't hear anything about Steve and his wife in the stall. Gee, I wonder why? Maybe because the moment they all saw TMIYH walk close they all mumbled, "Ix-nay on the Eve-Stay in the All-Stay with TMIYH's Ife-Way."
 
I'd like all those pushing divorce as the only option to say how long they've been married if at all. Not to pick on Mr. Ham, but didn't he get married last month? There's a BIG difference between a "starter" marriage and one with years and kids involved IMO. I wouldn't be rushing out to get divorced just yet.
I have been married for 3 years and If I ever caught my wife cheating on me it would be over right there. I could never trust her again and could never forgive her so I would never want anything to do with her again.
Love means never having to beat your wife.
;)
 
It's called ADULTERY! How is it that irrational to say that a marriage should be over because of it? Where he and his wife are right now is that they've established that she held another guys unit in her hand and then was unaccounted for the next 15-30 minutes. That's already out there. What else she knows and is not telling him hasn't even been established. Where they are now is already adultery and grounds for divorce to me, and I've been married for 14 years and have 4 kids. If my wife did that, bye-bye. How you can just blow that off is beyond me, are you saying that you'd stay with your wife if she did that? Not me.

;)

12 years and 2 kids, and it'd be "later wh0re".

:goodposting: 12 years and 3 kids. She would have her bags packed immediately!!!

 
I think way too many people are giving George a free pass here.Let me state first, none of this is his fault, he is not the main person to be pissed at, not even in the top 2, but my friendship with him would be OVERIf I see the drunken wife of one of my friends about to grab another guy's johnson OR go into a bathroom stal with him I stop it right there. If it meant taking a beat down, I'd be up for that, but these are all college buddies, so it would not have come to that. Grabbing either one and saying "OK, a bit much to drink here let's not get crazy" and then escorting her back to camp probably solves this.Barring that, I would not wander down and casually mention it and then let nothing happen for at least 15 minutes, I'd be rolling into camp and gathering whatever troops it took to get back up there RIGHT AWAY and stop whatever is happening, hell wandering out and YELLING to Mr. Yellowhat where the two bathroom buddies could hear may be enough.Don't give me this crap about being friends with both and not wanting to get involved, because by walking away he was letting events transpire that could ruin the marriages of both his friends. And did he even mention anything to Steve's wife?Not cool, not cool at all. I'd lay my ### on the line for my friends, and this guy couldn't seem to be bothered enough to lift a finger to stop a bad situation.
Unless George has done something similar with her.
This is a no. George has however, banged my wife's single sister, who is quite attractive.
He also did not break up this situation. He should be the one posting on a board today saying "I think I saved a married friend from screwing around with the wife of another married friend, should I mention it to anyone"
 
I'd like all those pushing divorce as the only option to say how long they've been married if at all. Not to pick on Mr. Ham, but didn't he get married last month? There's a BIG difference between a "starter" marriage and one with years and kids involved IMO. I wouldn't be rushing out to get divorced just yet.
I have been married for 3 years and If I ever caught my wife cheating on me it would be over right there. I could never trust her again and could never forgive her so I would never want anything to do with her again.
would you really beat the crap out of her?
Probably not, but I have a bad temper and a drinking problem, so i dont know for sure what Id do. I hope it doesnt come to that.
 
I'd like all those pushing divorce as the only option to say how long they've been married if at all. Not to pick on Mr. Ham, but didn't he get married last month? There's a BIG difference between a "starter" marriage and one with years and kids involved IMO. I wouldn't be rushing out to get divorced just yet.
I have been married for 3 years and If I ever caught my wife cheating on me it would be over right there. I could never trust her again and could never forgive her so I would never want anything to do with her again.
would you really beat the crap out of her?
Probably not, but I have a bad temper and a drinking problem, so i dont know for sure what Id do. I hope it doesnt come to that.
;)
 
Cut the beating your wife crap, it is not funny, does not give you board cred, and will get this thread locked

 

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