Meeting with new regional manager - How to tactfully express how bad my current boss is. (2 Viewers)

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Too long didn’t read – how to tactfully tell your new manager that your existing boss is an awful human?

Longer version:

Long story short (too late!), our current boss is an absolute sociopathic nightmare to deal with. Incredibly envious, insecure, misogynistic, talks crap about everybody not in the room, gotten into ant least 4 near fight confrontations and just an overall overbearing over reaching awful human being.

Fortunately, I’m in a position where I don’t really have to deal with him directly per se, but my coworkers ,specifically one of my friends here has to deal with him both inside and outside of work because my boss imposes himself on him and it’s just easier to placate him then tell him off.

How do I tactfully throw this ****ing sociopathic, moron under the bus?

I think I’m just gonna focus on his positives and that’s it.

“Ben” is is very knowledgeable and articulate about [our work] and incredibly fiscally responsible”

I’m going thinking I just leave it at that and let the rest be implied. I’m going to give glowing reviews of my immediate coworkers so the starting contract should imply that our boss is awful.

Any advice?

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Any advice?

Do you know what kind of relationship the Regional Manager has with your boss?

You could do harm to you career if those guys are buddies.

 

[MAC_32]

Any advice?

If it hasn't been done already, start a paper trail.

 

[Nemesis]

Ask new regional manager an open ended question:
“What are your thoughts & first impressions about…..
Then list a couple of things about other work things & slip jerk boss name in the list.

Try to indirectly get some feedback or ask who he has met with.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Any advice?

Do you know what kind of relationship the Regional Manager has with your boss?

You could do harm to you career if those guys are buddies.

I’m shielded from any harm and others have already spoken to him about me. (All positive).

No worries about that .

 

[Kanil]

Too long didn’t read – how to tactfully tell your new manager that your existing boss is an awful human?

Longer version:

Long story short (too late!), our current boss is an absolute sociopathic nightmare to deal with. Incredibly envious, insecure, misogynistic, talks crap about everybody not in the room, gotten into ant least 4 near fight confrontations and just an overall overbearing over reaching awful human being.

Fortunately, I’m in a position where I don’t really have to deal with him directly per se, but my coworkers ,specifically one of my friends here has to deal with him both inside and outside of work because my boss imposes himself on him and it’s just easier to placate him then tell him off.

How do I tactfully throw this ****ing sociopathic, moron under the bus?

I think I’m just gonna focus on his positives and that’s it.

“Ben” is is very knowledgeable and articulate about [our work] and incredibly fiscally responsible”

I’m going thinking I just leave it at that and let the rest be implied. I’m going to give glowing reviews of my immediate coworkers so the starting contract should imply that our boss is awful.

Any advice?

That's exactly how I would approach it. If it seems like he didn't pick up what you put down, you might have to be more blatant at some point but probably not in the first conversation you have with him.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Any advice?

Do you know what kind of relationship the Regional Manager has with your boss?

You could do harm to you career if those guys are buddies.

I’m shielded from any harm and others have already spoken to him about me. (All positive).

No worries about that .

I would still be cautious, but maybe drop a few hints when appropriate.

 

[Fat Nick]

My $0.02...If the guy is that bad, you don't have to say anything. It'll be evident over time if the Regional Manager is worth his salt as a people leader. If the Regional Manager is also a bum, then it wouldn't have mattered what you said to him anyway...

I think you risk fall-out by bringing it up personally. Just stay quiet and let nature run its course.

 

[Juxtatarot]

What is the stated purpose of the meeting?

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Too long didn’t read – how to tactfully tell your new manager that your existing boss is an awful human?

Longer version:

Long story short (too late!), our current boss is an absolute sociopathic nightmare to deal with. Incredibly envious, insecure, misogynistic, talks crap about everybody not in the room, gotten into ant least 4 near fight confrontations and just an overall overbearing over reaching awful human being.

Fortunately, I’m in a position where I don’t really have to deal with him directly per se, but my coworkers ,specifically one of my friends here has to deal with him both inside and outside of work because my boss imposes himself on him and it’s just easier to placate him then tell him off.

How do I tactfully throw this ****ing sociopathic, moron under the bus?

I think I’m just gonna focus on his positives and that’s it.

“Ben” is is very knowledgeable and articulate about [our work] and incredibly fiscally responsible”

I’m going thinking I just leave it at that and let the rest be implied. I’m going to give glowing reviews of my immediate coworkers so the starting contract should imply that our boss is awful.

Any advice?

I think the way you're trending is the best way to go based on what you're describing.

I'd couch it a little differently, though. Something like "here are the things that I think Ben is good at". That should perk up the ears of any regional VP worth his/her salt and have them wondering about the things Ben isn't so good at. They may ask follow up questions or they may not.

Although, if this dude is just a loose cannon and running against all kinds of HR issues - you might be doing everyone a favor by calling him out directly to the regional guy. Especially if you feel secure in your position.

 

[Cjw_55106]

That's no way to become the Assistant to the Regional Manager.

I personally wouldn't give an opinion unless directly asked. Sounds like your other friends and co-workers have to take more of the brunt and should be the ones to speak up, if so inclined.

 

[dkp993]

If you feel like your RM is someone you can be honest with, stick to the provable facts about your boss’s performance and stay as far away from “I feel” statements or your feeling about him as a human being. As someone who has been in your RMs position, you need to arm him/her with actionable items. The rest is worthless and conjecture.

 

[Gally]

Tell him this:

our current boss is an absolute sociopathic nightmare to deal with. Incredibly envious, insecure, misogynistic, talks crap about everybody not in the room, gotten into ant least 4 near fight confrontations and just an overall overbearing over reaching awful human being.

I am only half joking. If it is as bad as you say it is sometimes the truth needs to be told. The key is speaking in facts you can back up without putting emotional additions into the discussion. Just calm examples and facts of his terribleness.

 

[Nemesis]

I think I’m just gonna focus on his positives and that’s it.
“Ben” is is very knowledgeable and articulate about [our work] and incredibly fiscally responsible”

To be honest, I wouldn't be praising the Jerk Boss at all. You don't want the new RM thinking that you back this donkey at all.
Stick with the strategy of trying to get info out of the RM and let him provide some of his thoughts and go from there.
And as @dkp993 mentioned, if you do talk about Jerk Boss: Choose your words very carefully & tone neutral. Raise concerns / not opinions. Your emphasis should be on the growth of the business.

WHEN is the meeting w/ the RM ???
Please come back to this thread and provide an update.

 

[fruity pebbles]

Personally, I wouldn’t get in the middle of it. In my experience, management backs management until they don’t and I’m not looking to be collateral damage until that happens.

 

[Snotbubbles]

I wouldn't say, hint or imply anything. Never burn a bridge.

 

[brun]

Prepare glowing recommendation. Share it with every recruiter you know.
Don't say anything to your RM unless asked.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Say nothing about the dude

 

[Jayrod]

Nah, don't be spineless.

If he needs to be stopped, he needs to be stopped.

I'm only 47, but I'm done with bullies and psychopaths. If the company wants that as their identity than so be it. There are a lot of good jobs out there. Worst case scenario, you are ostracized or blackballed. Best case the jerk is gone. Your personal situation obviously matters, but there are times when taking a stand is worth the risk. Character matters and not being afraid to speak the truth is more valuable than assimilation.

 

[shuke]

My $0.02...If the guy is that bad, you don't have to say anything. It'll be evident over time if the Regional Manager is worth his salt as a people leader. If the Regional Manager is also a bum, then it wouldn't have mattered what you said to him anyway...

I think you risk fall-out by bringing it up personally. Just stay quiet and let nature run its course.

Yup. Give it time, he'll figure it out.

 

[msudaisy26]

If the regional manager likes football, tell them it is 1998, we have the second pick and Peyton Manning went first.

 

[fatness]

WHEN is the meeting w/ the RM ???
Please come back to this thread and provide an update.

This.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

I think I’m just gonna focus on his positives and that’s it.
“Ben” is is very knowledgeable and articulate about [our work] and incredibly fiscally responsible”

To be honest, I wouldn't be praising the Jerk Boss at all. You don't want the new RM thinking that you back this donkey at all.
Stick with the strategy of trying to get info out of the RM and let him provide some of his thoughts and go from there.
And as @dkp993 mentioned, if you do talk about Jerk Boss: Choose your words very carefully & tone neutral. Raise concerns / not opinions. Your emphasis should be on the growth of the business.

WHEN is the meeting w/ the RM ???
Please come back to this thread and provide an update.

Happened already. Went extremely well.

I did not get a chance to mention anything but there is an open door policy with the new VP, the last guy did not and likely encouraged the poor behavior. The new guy is making a lot of changes, fixing all the stupid stuff we were tasked with doing. Im so excited.


A co-worker and I are going to try and get our boss to understand that he needs to not F this up. Its hard to explain why we would have the audacity to control our boss but in our scenario we could be F'd with but couldn't be fired. In the new scenario we have significantly more power/leverage. (We have connections and lineage and our boss does not)

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

My $0.02...If the guy is that bad, you don't have to say anything. It'll be evident over time if the Regional Manager is worth his salt as a people leader. If the Regional Manager is also a bum, then it wouldn't have mattered what you said to him anyway...

I think you risk fall-out by bringing it up personally. Just stay quiet and let nature run its course.

This is where we’re at. We think the new RM will eventually understand what we’re dealing with and we also have his ear so we’re gonna make an attempt to make peace with our current boss and help him help himself and us.

 

[Lehigh98]

mind
Too long didn’t read – how to tactfully tell your new manager that your existing boss is an awful human?

Longer version:

Long story short (too late!), our current boss is an absolute sociopathic nightmare to deal with. Incredibly envious, insecure, misogynistic, talks crap about everybody not in the room, gotten into ant least 4 near fight confrontations and just an overall overbearing over reaching awful human being.

Fortunately, I’m in a position where I don’t really have to deal with him directly per se, but my coworkers ,specifically one of my friends here has to deal with him both inside and outside of work because my boss imposes himself on him and it’s just easier to placate him then tell him off.

How do I tactfully throw this ****ing sociopathic, moron under the bus?

I think I’m just gonna focus on his positives and that’s it.

“Ben” is is very knowledgeable and articulate about [our work] and incredibly fiscally responsible”

I’m going thinking I just leave it at that and let the rest be implied. I’m going to give glowing reviews of my immediate coworkers so the starting contract should imply that our boss is awful.

Any advice?

Wait a second... has this actually been a @DJackson10 alias all along?

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

mind
Too long didn’t read – how to tactfully tell your new manager that your existing boss is an awful human?

Longer version:

Long story short (too late!), our current boss is an absolute sociopathic nightmare to deal with. Incredibly envious, insecure, misogynistic, talks crap about everybody not in the room, gotten into ant least 4 near fight confrontations and just an overall overbearing over reaching awful human being.

Fortunately, I’m in a position where I don’t really have to deal with him directly per se, but my coworkers ,specifically one of my friends here has to deal with him both inside and outside of work because my boss imposes himself on him and it’s just easier to placate him then tell him off.

How do I tactfully throw this ****ing sociopathic, moron under the bus?

I think I’m just gonna focus on his positives and that’s it.

“Ben” is is very knowledgeable and articulate about [our work] and incredibly fiscally responsible”

I’m going thinking I just leave it at that and let the rest be implied. I’m going to give glowing reviews of my immediate coworkers so the starting contract should imply that our boss is awful.

Any advice?

Wait a second... has this actually been a @DJackson10 alias all along?

Do I get the crown for longest shtick ever pulled off on FBGs?

 

[Dezbelief]

mind
Too long didn’t read – how to tactfully tell your new manager that your existing boss is an awful human?

Longer version:

Long story short (too late!), our current boss is an absolute sociopathic nightmare to deal with. Incredibly envious, insecure, misogynistic, talks crap about everybody not in the room, gotten into ant least 4 near fight confrontations and just an overall overbearing over reaching awful human being.

Fortunately, I’m in a position where I don’t really have to deal with him directly per se, but my coworkers ,specifically one of my friends here has to deal with him both inside and outside of work because my boss imposes himself on him and it’s just easier to placate him then tell him off.

How do I tactfully throw this ****ing sociopathic, moron under the bus?

I think I’m just gonna focus on his positives and that’s it.

“Ben” is is very knowledgeable and articulate about [our work] and incredibly fiscally responsible”

I’m going thinking I just leave it at that and let the rest be implied. I’m going to give glowing reviews of my immediate coworkers so the starting contract should imply that our boss is awful.

Any advice?

Wait a second... has this actually been a @DJackson10 alias all along?

The OP wasn't long enough.

 

[New Binky the Doormat]

Say nothing about the dude

this is the most likely the way to go - but if there is an opportunity to point out concerns without just outright nailing the weasel guy, it's best for your new boss to know that you know what's what and he can count on you being up front when he asks your opinion..

 

[Terminalxylem]

If you feel like your RM is someone you can be honest with, stick to the provable facts about your boss’s performance and stay as far away from “I feel” statements or your feeling about him as a human being. As someone who has been in your RMs position, you need to arm him/her with actionable items. The rest is worthless and conjecture.

This. Be direct, honest, and objective. But only if the meeting is intended for such feedback.